Ranma ½

As written by Areku1993

Chapter two: The tournament

"So when's the tournament, Akane?" Sisoga asked. She was now dressed in a pair of faded jeans, a black tube top and a black jacket, with her hair falling down her back and a brown J.lo hat hiding her ears. Leave it to Sisoga to find a weird outfit to wear to school.

"After school." Akane pulled on her dress and turned to look at her. "School is only seven… What are you wearing?"

"I bought it at a store for some yen."

"How MUCH yen?"

"You don't want to know." Sisoga hopped off of Akane's bed and went out into the hall. "RANMA!" She called.

Ranma popped out of nowhere. "Yeah?"

Sisoga almost jumped out of her demonic skin. "GAH! Dammit Ranma, don't do that!"

"Sorry. What's up?"

"Akane's taking forever. Can you take me to school now?"

"Sure. Oh, and a helpful tip, avoid Upperclassman Kuno."

At school

"Hey, who's Ranma with?"

"I dunno, but they're going to get in trouble for not wearing their school uniforms…"

Sisoga lifted her cerulean blue eyes from the ground. "This sucks. I hate school. I always have."

"It's not as bad as you think…" Ranma sighed. "If you're lucky you get to fight people."

"Well, in that case…"

History class

Ranma sank into his seat, bored and embarrassed. "Sisoga, stop…"

"I'm TELLING you, Omosaui Kentorii did NOT have a son!" Sisoga complained to the teacher.

"Well, miss, your sources are about as reliable as a pig."

"Hey, lady, I know a very reliable pig thank you! If you weren't as STUPID as your resources you would know that Omosaui Kentorii had a daughter named Omosaui S…"

Ranma leapt up and clamped a hand over her mouth. "Sisoga, just shut up and listen to the lesson!"

"AND ANOTHER THING!" She growled, pulling Ranma's hand away. "What's all this 'human' business? Everyone knows that Omosaui Kentorii's family was a family of cat demons! And I can prove it!"

She almost tore off her hat, but Ranma tackled her. "SISOGA! Shut up!" He hissed. "They don't BELIEVE in demons here!"

Sisoga grasped his pigtail and lifted him at least two feet into the air. "Listen, buddy, if this place was so crappy you could have told me. I am SO out of here."

"Sisoga…" Ranma sighed, still dangling by his pigtail. "You can't ditch school."

"I can, and I will. I am feudal Japanese royalty, and if these people don't listen to me I'll turn this stupid school upside down!" Sisoga growled, throwing him back to his desk. "Later."

With that, she jumped out a window, landing in a tree below. She jumped from the tree and hid in a garage, taking off her clothes. She packed them in a small backpack and turned into a cat. She did this because she didn't want to rip her new clothes.

She jumped through Akane's window and morphed back, putting on her clothes. She left the room and sat by a table, grabbing a box of cereal.

Genma, Ranma's father as a panda, walked by the door. He paused and went back, with a sign that said, "Sisoga, don't you go to school now?"

Sisoga glanced up. "Yeah, but it's stupid and I hate it there." She passed him a kettle of hot water. "Here."

Genma ran off and returned as a human. He sat down cross-legged and sighed. "Sisoga, just because you hate something doesn't mean you can just quit. You need to work with it."

"Genma, bottom line, it won't work." She glanced at him. "Hey, aren't you a martial arts master? Do you think you can help me practice for the martial arts tournament?"

Genma regarded her with a stern eye. "Sisoga, I can help you practice, but I cannot teach you."

"I didn't ask that."

"Really? Great then."

In the training hall

"How exactly does this help me?"

Genma was sitting on Sisoga's hand, while Sisoga balanced on one foot on a balance beam. "It helps balance. If you can balance me on your hand and manage to stay on the balance beam…"

"Ah. I see." Sisoga set him down. "Turn into a panda, alright?"

Genma did, with a sign that said, "Why?"

"Because." Sisoga balance on the beam with her hands and balanced Genma on her feet. "I thought this would help if I was knocked off my feet and I had to grab something."

Souun, Akane's father, walked in, watching. "That's some karate you know, Princess."

"This isn't karate, it's an exercise." She replied. She kicked Genma off and flipped off the balance beam.

"Whatever. What's the prize of this tournament?"

"Dunno." Sisoga tossed him a flyer. "Look at this and see if you can find anything on it."

Souun scanned the flyer. "Hm? Ah, here! It says…"

Genma looked over his shoulder. Both of their eyes bulged. "I've never seen that many zeroes… Nor have I seen 'yen' after them." Souun muttered.

"YEN?" Ranma popped out of nowhere and snatched the flyer. "Ooh… That's a lot of yen."

"WHERE DO YOU KEEP COMING FROM?"

The tournament

Sisoga looked at the tournament papers. "Ah. At least that Shampoo isn't entering. Oh Hell… Akane is… And so is…" She scanned down the list, that read:

Omosaui, Sisoga

Tendo, Akane

Uinteru, Shirentsu

Rainu, Deruku

Sunu, Goruden

Hibiki, Ryouga

Here she stopped. "Shirentsu Uinteru? 'Silver Winter?'"

"Hell yeah!" A voice said behind her. She turned to see a strong girl with blood red hair behind her, smiling. She was dressed in a simple karate uniform, like herself. "That's my name, Silver Winter. This is Deruku Rainu, 'Dark Rain,' and this is Goruden Sunu, 'Golden Sun.' My friends."

Deruku smiled. "Pleased to meet you." He had dark hair and dark eyes. Hence, Dark Rain.

Goruden just waved. "Yeah, yeah. Where are the locker rooms? I really need to bathe."

"To be named Golden Sun, you're not exactly beaming." Sisoga muttered.

"I didn't CHOOSE to be named that. It just sort of happened." She tossed her long, golden blonde hair behind her shoulder. "So just move over and let me see my competition!"

She scanned down the list and looked at Sisoga. "Akane?"

"Sisoga." Sisoga replied.

Goruden looked her up and down. "You don't look so tough. And your hands look like you can't chop paper."

Sisoga reached over and closed her fingers around a metal bar. She pulled, and ripped it off completely. "Goruden, you have more competition than you think."

"Whatever, lady." She sniffed, and walked off.

"Sorry, Sisoga." Shirentsu sighed. "If you're looking for a bitch, she just walked off thataway." She pointed after her friend.

Deruku sighed. "Goruden has been like this ever since she became a black belt. She's self conscious and bitchy. She used to be really nice, but I don't know anymore." He glanced up. "So you're competing?"

"Yeah."

"With the name 'Omosaui Sisoga?' Omosaui is the royal family name of Kentorii, no?" Deruku asked.

"Yeah, so? That's my name."

"But there was never anyone named 'Sisoga' in the royal family…"

"And how would you know?"

"I study Japanese and Chinese history. I think they're both wonderful cultures. The only reason I got into karate is to learn about old Japan."

"The only reason I got into karate is to kick ass!" Shirentsu said proudly.

"Are you names really Deruku and Shirentsu?"

"Deruku is my name, but Shirentsu's real name is Coniniaue. She comes from a country called Amestris. Coniniaue's a famous alchemist with a husband named Edward and two kids, Kiwi and Mango. Which is why she used her great grandmother's name, Shirentsu." Deruku explained.

"Great grandmother?"

Ranma popped out of nowhere. Again. "That reminds me! Sisoga, do you know how lucky you are the Cologne isn't in this tournament?"

"'Cologne?'"

"Shampoo's grandmother."

"IS EVERYONE IN THEIR FAMILY NAMED AFTER SOME KIND OF PRODUCT?"

"Yes."

"I see." She snickered. "So does that mean that if you marry Shampoo you have to change your name to Perfume?"

"HELL no! And if I do, it won't be PERFUME!"

"So it'll be… Hair Gel? Conditioner? Moisturizer?"

"Probably Conditioner… HEY! Listen you, just get your ass out there and kill people!" Ranma demanded.

Sisoga just glared at him, a cold hint in her eye. "I do not kill. I fight, but I do not kill."

She walked away into the locker room. Ranma just stared off after her.

"Sisoga has had a terrible experience back home."

Ranma glanced up at Coniniaue. "What?"

Coniniaue's eyes were dark. "The cold hint in her eye represented fear and anger. Her tone was low and almost a growl. The way her body went rigid showed a shiver down her spine. My husband taught me to look at body language to distinguish emotions."

"'Husband?' At your age? I pity you." Ranma muttered.

"Pity?" Coniniaue laughed. "I love Edward. And our two lovely children…"

"…CHILDREN?"

"Relax. One's adopted."

"Oh, so only ONE is adopted? GREAT! THANK YOU FOR THE IMAGE!"

"Proud that I can be of service to you!" Coniniaue bowed and smiled mockingly. "Now listen, where's the ring? My match is first."

"Who're you fighting?" Ranma glanced at the listings. "Akane? Good luck. She's about as solid as a lead weight."

"Huh. Coniniaue can take stronger people that her."

Ranma shot his glance to the doorways. A sixteen-year-old blonde boy leaned against the doorframe, wearing black pants and a black jacket. "If she can take out Renkinjutsu and Lust, she can certainly take out some random kid who think she knows karate."

"Hey! Akane is really good at karate, I'll have you know, pretty boy!"

The blonde boy smirked. "Wow, another person than my wife thinks I'm pretty."

"Wife? Then you're…"

"EDWARD! YOU CAME!" Coniniaue flung her arms around his neck. "Where's Kiwi? And Mango?"

Kiwi emerged from the shadows, holding her baby sister in her tiny five-year-old arms. "Here, mommy."

"Did you come to see mommy beat the shh—crap out of people?" Coniniaue asked to her green-haired child.

"Yup! Mango, too!"

"Where's aunt Winry?"

Winry popped out of the shadows. "EVERYONE'S here, Coniniaue! Grandma Pinako, Alphonse… ROY is even here!"

Roy walked in, with Hawkeye trailing behind him. "I'm not here to watch you, I'm here to watch beautiful women fight."

"Isn't Hawkeye enough for you?" Coniniaue asked, smirking.

"Shut up, Bloodless."

"Sir, no, sir!"

"Shut up!"

"No freaking way!"

"Shut up or I'll fire you."

"Remember the LAST TIME you fired me?" She was referring to the last time when she actually got Fuhrer Bradley involved to get her job back.

"You QUIT that time!" Roy protested. "QUIT, QUIT, QUIT!"

"Sir, calm down…" Hawkeye muttered. "Do you know how childish you look?"

"…Yes?"

"No, you don't. Sir, I advise you not to insult anyone here."

Ranma was silent the whole time. "So… Are you… A band of freaks?"

"FREAKS?"

Of course, the next moment, two alchemized blades, a alchemic glove, a wrench and a pistol were shoved in his face. He waved his hands. "Just kidding! Just kidding!"

"Hmph." Hawkeye holstered her pistol, Roy took off his gloves, and the alchemists returned their metal arms to normal. Winry just pulled her wrench away.

"Hey, um…" Ranma pointed. "Can you have magic metal stuff on your arms during a karate battle?"

"Magical metal stuff? You idiot, that was alchemy! And this isn't OVER my arm, it IS my arm!" Coniniaue complained.

"Prove it."

He was stunned when Coniniaue turned and pulled her arm from its socket. "That… That's just…"

"Freakish?"

"Exactly the word I was looking for."

The first battle

CRASH.

BASH.

BASH.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!"

Akane landed in a heap in the audience. "TAKE THAT!" Coniniaue hollered from the ring.

"LUCKY SHOT!" Akane shook her fist Coniniaue, who immaturely stuck her tongue out at her. Coniniaue crossed her arms and exited the ring. The ring was about 10x10 feet with a small fence around it. So that meant you must throw the opponent over it or they must fall unconscious.

"So who's up next?" Ranma peered at the listings. "Oh Hell… Sisoga and Ryouga…"

"HEYYYYYY RYOUGAAAA!" Sisoga appeared on stage, walking around the fence on her hands. She had a rather insane, I'm-going-to-beat-you look in her eye. "How are you? Guess what! You get to fight MEEEEEE! I have to say, I'm surprised you even FOUND the ring!"

"To think I was going to ask you out later." He muttered.

"Oh, you were? Pick me up at seven, if you're still conscious!" She jeered.

Ryouga crossed his arms. "Hmph. Remind me to beat you with my parasol."

"IF you're still conscious! Oh, and if I win, I demand you kiss me! Hehe!"

Ryouga threw a side-glance at the referee. "Does she seem a bit INSANE to you?"

The referee shrugged. "There's nothing about insanity in the rule book…"

Sisoga flipped and landed in the ring. "Alright come on, I want to get this over with."

"Take your places…"

Ryouga grabbed his parasol.

"Get set…"

Sisoga licked her hand in a catlike way, as if cleaning any traces of Akane from it.

"Fight!"

Ryouga ran at Sisoga, parasol pointed at her.

In short, Sisoga grabbed his parasol and flipped him out of the ring.

Silence.

Ryouga sat up, rubbing his head. He looked at her woozily. "What… Are you?"

"A cat demon with two fists powered by two shards of the Shikon Jewel."

Ryouga fell unconscious. In the audience Roy sprang up, pointing and looking at Lieutenant Hawkeye. "I want her in the military! Make her a combat specialist!"

"Yes sir."

Sisoga waved awkwardly. "I'm done here. Later, all."

Winners:Losers:

Omosaui, SisogaHibiki, Ryouga

Uinteru, Shirentsu Tendo, Akane

Sunu, Goruden Rainu, Deruku

Uinteru—Sunu. Winner fights Omosaui.

"She took you out just like that?" Ranma asked, snapping and looking down at Ryouga.

"Yeah. The worst part is I have to kiss her now…" Ryouga grumbled.

"Oh shut up. You'll enjoy it." Ranma smirked.

Sisoga sat up on top of a pillar, listening.

"I…. I will not!"

"You will so. She's beautiful and you know it."

"You think all I look for in a woman is beauty?"

"That's what I look for."

"I look for honor."

Honor. Sisoga thought. Got it.

"Strength."

Have that.

"Beauty, yes. But also pride in her actions, and a strong personality."

Whee. My lucky day.

Ranma shrugged. "I never heard you say anything so deep."

"Oh, shut up. I… Haha… Ha…"

Sisoga was hanging upside down behind Ranma, mimicking him. She pulled up when Ranma turned and said, "What?"

"Nothing."

Ranma turned back around and crossed his arms. Sisoga, upside down, did the same, mimicking him. "Now listen Ryouga, just because Sisoga is a princess doesn't make her any different from us."

"Hahaha…"

"WHAT?" Ranma turned around again. Nothing. He turned back, and Sisoga leaned down.

"Sisoga is a wonderful girl, and she has everything you described and more… WHAT IS SO FUNNY?" He turned abruptly to see Sisoga laughing, hanging off the pillar by her toes. "SISOGA! Don't you have something to DO?"

"No. There's a fight going on. I fight winner."

"Oh… Well, um, go TRAIN or something!"

"Why should I? I don't need to."

"WHATEVER! Just do SOMETHING dammit!"

Suddenly Coniniaue broke up the fight. Her metal arm had been wretched from its socket and there were bruises all over her face and body, and her karate uniform was ripped in several areas. "Sisoga, just shut up and get in the ring."

"What… What happened?"

"WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE?" Coniniaue yelled at her. "Goruden kicked my ass!"

Sisoga darted into the ring. Goruden had scarce a bruise on her cheek and was smirking at Sisoga from the opposite side of the ring. "Yo, Sisoga! Ready to lose?"

"Hah. You wish, dimwit." Sisoga growled.

"Ready… Set… GO!" The referee announced.

Sisoga and Goruden locked fists. Sisoga pushed, but so did Goruden.

"Bitch!"

"Loser!"

"Weakling!"

"Demon!"

Sisoga growled. "How did you know?"

Goruden cast her eyes up. Sisoga's ears had popped from her hair, and were now wiggling angrily.

"Damn you! And how are you so strong?"

Goruden laughed. "You think I'm HUMAN?" As if to prove her point, two golden ears popped from her head. Sisoga gasped. "A demon! What kind?"

"A golden wolf."

"Golden… Those are impossible to find! They're nearly extinct!"

"That's what you think!" Goruden smirked. "Admit it, Sisoga. Even with your jewel shards you are no match for a golden wolf! Your father was stupid, too. His mind was weak and easy to manipulate."

"Manipulate? What did you do to my father?"

"Who else but a golden wolf could persuade someone else to kill their own kin? You were weak, you father was weak, and your mother was weak. Hah, you can't even swing a decent punch. Your honor is nothing, and neither is your courage."

Sisoga's eyes began to tear, but hardened soon after. "Why you…" She tightened her fingers around Goruden's fists and tore her from the ground, hurling her into the audience.

"AND OMOSAUI WINS THE…"

Sisoga morphed into a cat and sprang on Goruden. She extended her claws and slashed at Goruden, who transformed into a five-foot tall seven-foot long golden wolf. Bigger than Sisoga, but not by much.

"WAIT! THEY'RE STILL AT IT! As… A giant cat and wolf?"

Naturally, after the fight, Ranma was found curled up in a corner of the men's bathroom. But lets get back to the fight.

Goruden sank her teeth into Sisoga's neck, but Sisoga fought back and kicked her off. Goruden growled, as if to say, 'This is taking too long. Just die already!'

'In your dreams!' Sisoga snarled. Her teeth bit deep into Goruden's leg. She gave an awkward yelp, and sprang up, dashing away.

'THIS ISN'T OVER!' She growled as a wolf. 'IT'S NOT OVER! I'LL BE BACK!'

Sisoga turned back to a human, curling up in a ball until someone brought her a blanket. She pulled it around her and allowed herself to be picked up by Ryouga and carried off home. Well, to Akane's anyway. Sisoga had several deep tooth marks in her neck and several gashes on her cheeks. All in all, she didn't look nearly as beat up as Coniniaue did. But she wouldn't know, she passed out before she could look in a mirror.