Aztec Goddess: I do not own Titanic. Man, I can't stay focused enough to see the entire movie. Talk, talk, random sex scene. That's all I understood. Please review on my improv.! I wanna know what you guys think of it!

Improvised

Envy and Ed were walking home from school together. (Don't get the wrong idea!) Envy was poking fun at Ed for what happened a little while after the events in the last chapter. "This is priceless!" Envy said. "I think Hoganson picked the perfect part for you in next week's Titanic improv.!"

"There is no freakin' way I'm playing as ROSE!" Ed yelled. "I'm not planning on going back to Theater anyway!"

"But the teacher insisted!" Envy said. "You can't turn him down! He'll hunt you like how midgets hunt for platform shoes!"

" . . . Sure. Even if I was okay with being Rose, I won't do it with you being JACK!" Ed sped up his pace. "What is it with this school? I'm always getting paired up with you!"

Envy didn't really need to walk faster since he has longer legs than Ed. "Hm, I've been thinking that, too. It's a conspiracy!" He looked around suspiciously.

"And you're the mastermind behind it!"

"Nah, I don't have that much time on my hands. That's why we must practice for improv. right now!"

"Right now, right now?" Ed asked, sounding dumb.

"No, later, later," Envy replied, sarcastically. Then he said, "Look! Let's practice at that park over there! It's practically empty."

So Envy dragged the not-so-happy-looking Ed to the local kiddie park. Only a few toddlers and their parents were there chillin' next to the sandbox. Envy dragged Ed all the way up to the top of the slide.

"How do we do improv. anyway?" Ed asked.

"It's quite simple," Envy explained. "All we have to do is come up with a bunch of random crap that has almost nothing to do with the real Titanic! We just need to have the same characters!"

"What about a ship?"

"Screw ships! Pretend this slide here is an airplane!"

"So, um, we don't even need a storyline?"

"Hm," Envy thought for a second. "Okay, I got it! Instead of an iceberg, we'll crash into a cloud! And instead of sinking, we'll float!"

Ed couldn't help but laugh a little. Then he said, "Wait! How is that even possible?"

"Just go with it. Now you come up with something!"

"Okay, um, how 'bout that one I'm king of the world part? We've gotta rip that off!"

"So . . ." Envy tried to get Ed to elaborate a little.

Ed stood on the edge of the slide and spread out his arms like how Rose did. "So, we'll have to be outside of the airplane to do that part!"

"And since we'll be standing on one of the wings of the plane," Envy added as he grabbed Ed from behind, like how Jack did to Rose, "we'll fall off!" Envy jumped of the slide and took Ed down with him. They could have gone down the slide, but it was only a three-foot fall, so it wasn't a big deal. They laid sprawled on the grass, laughing.

"Hey, wait!" Ed said. "The main characters shouldn't die so early!"

"Who said we were gonna die?" Envy asked as he pulled out something that looked like a spray can from out of nowhere. "We'll use the Axe effect!" A sign that said USE RESPONSIBLY flashed over Envy, followed by a smaller sign that said Aztec Goddess does not claim ownership of Axe or the Axe effect. "We're not going to be falling down; we'll be floating up, remember?"

A light lit up in the small section of Ed's brain that understands the concept of art and imagination. "Oh, I see! So, we'll spray ourselves with Axe and girls will stick to us, pulling us back down to the plane by the laws of gravity and matter!"

"Yeah, you're getting it now! But try not to get all technical, okay nene?"

"Okay." Then Ed started to laugh some more as he pictured the play in his head. It was only him and Envy in the park. They had scared the other people away. Then Ed sighed and turned to Envy. "Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?" he asked, trying not to sound suspicious.

Envy gave Ed a questionable look. It took a while for him to reply. "I'm in a happy mood right now. Plus, I may not like you, but you're still my almost-half-brother-but-not-quite-due-to-a-technicality."

Wow, what a long title to live up to. It kinda caught Ed off guard. "Huh? . . . What's the technicality?"

"I'm not really human, remember?"

"And you're the one who said to not get all technical!"

Envy seemed to be deep in thought. Then he stood up and started to walk home. "Get Mustang expelled first. Then we'll talk."

Envy could be a cool half-brother if he really wanted to. Or was all this an act? Envy did prove to be a good actor . . . Ed didn't want to think about it.

The next day, before school . . .

"Brother, you're crazy!" Al yelled at his apparently crazy brother.

"Hey, Roy deserves this!" Ed declared as he shoved the gift certificate for Victoria's Secret (Ed never asked Al where that came from – he didn't want to know) into his backpack, along with the complimentary tequila that came with the apartment.

"Um, wait. What are you planning to do anyway?" Al asked. He thought to himself, Hey! Why is he taking the only worthwhile things we have in this apartment? He's so selfish!

Ed's plan went into effect in second period. While Roy was talking to some people, Ed stuffed the tequila into his backpack and placed the gift certificate under his desk. Then Ed casually walked to his own desk. "There," he told Envy. "That should be enough to get him expelled."

Envy glared at Roy suspiciously. "I don't think it'll be that easy. I mean, if my plan didn't work, then what will?"

Johnson noticed the gift certificate right away. "Roy Mustang, what's that?"

Roy confusedly looked under his desk and picked up the gift certificate. "Um, I don't know . . ." Then he noticed Victoria's Secret. "Oh, wait! This is mine!" Roy was about to stuff it into his backpack, but Johnson stood in front of him with an open palm. So Roy regretfully handed the teacher the gift certificate.

Johnson gave Roy a shocked look as he stuffed the gift certificate into his pocket to keep it. "What else do you have in your backpack?"

Roy handed the teacher his backpack without much thought. He thought he didn't have anything to hide. But then Johnson pulled out the bottle of tequila. The students of Kelly High gasped dramatically. Alcohol is as bad as mass homicide to them. Johnson put the tequila back into the backpack and ordered Roy to go to the principal's office.

Ed gave Envy a smug look. "See? It was that easy!"

"We'll see tomorrow," Envy replied. "Don't get a big head."

But they didn't even have to wait that long. At lunch, they found Roy telling anyone that would listen, "So I was sent to the principal's office for having tequila in my backpack. I don't know how that happened, but whatever. Anyway, the principal let me free without even a detention! All I had to do was give him the tequila! And get this: the principal is . . ."

The girls around Roy squealed and the boys cheered. Roy didn't have to say the name. He showed them a picture. This intrigued Ed and Envy, so they tried to get closer to see the picture, but there were too many people in their way. They were only able to hear some of the comments the people made: "Wow, that's freakin' awesome!" "I know, huh?" "I wanna see him! Where's his office?" "You think he'll give me his autograph?"

"Do you know who the principal is?" Ed asked Envy.

"No clue. I've never seen him," Envy replied. Then he realized something. "Hey, you failed at getting Roy expelled! You suck, nene!"

"I didn't try hard enough this time!" Ed defended himself. "Winter Formal is coming soon. I bet I can get him expelled there!"

"Just as long as you get it done soon. You don't want to piss me off."

Ed spent the rest of the school day trying to come up with a better plan. But his mind kept on drifting back to improv. He wanted to come up with something brilliant that they could add to the Titanic play. His mind eventually became completely blank.

In Theater, Envy told Hoganson and the other students what himself and Ed – mostly himself – came up with the other day. Everyone laughed along and complimented on the brilliant idea. Then they started building the props. One of the students made a simple paper airplane to use as a model.

Ed only watched as the students gathered huge piles of blank paper and glue. Envy wasn't helping either. He walked to Ed, who was standing in a corner, and asked, "Can't you just use alchemy to build us a nice plane?"

"I wanna see how long it'll take for everyone else to realize that," Ed replied.

So Ed and Envy only stood by and watched the other students build a plane from scratch. At least it looked exactly like the model. Hm, but how much weight can it hold?

Aztec Goddess: Does anyone know who the principal is? Most, well, practically all of the clues can be found in this chapter. So, remember to R & R!

To Everto Angelus: I guess he just likes showing off is manly chest. But I think he should stop doing that in front of guys. It's scary. He's not even hot!

To Paola: I think the source code is the thing that shows you all the html codes on the web page you're on. I don't know how to get there, though. I'm not doing notpron anymore anyway. I want to dedicate as much time as possible to fanfiction!

To Kyra Neko: I needed a lot of expulsions. I'm planning on only letting one person out of the FMA cast graduate. But I dunno, that might change. I don't usually stick to all my plans. That's why there are so many random things in here!

To Iwin Ulose: Roy was being held under custody during homecoming, remember? And the only relationship Ed and Envy have in this story is an almost-half-brother-but-not-quite-due-to-a-technicality relationship! . . . Even though I do like them as a couple. And I'm glad you think Spanish is cool!

To Angel-of-Music1331: Summer should be enjoyable, so hope it gets better for you! Anyway, there, I updated! Now it's your turn!

To pure-reflection: Hee-hee. Thank you! Hope you enjoy the rest, too!

To Storm Alchemist: Sorry, I haven't seen the series in a while. I think I fixed it all already. Thank you for pointing that out to me!

To demonik: Okay, I'll add that somehow. I don't think I need anymore teachers now. Big Clue: The principal isn't a school teacher. But he did teach me a few things, mostly about myself. Practically all the stuff he says describes me and my family perfectly!