Aztec Goddess: Here were the clues for who the principal is from the last chapter: "Right now, right now?" "No, later, later." "Don't get a big head." "I know, huh?" And then there was that big clue in the very bottom of the last chapter. I'm sure most of you people know this guy! And I don't claim ownership of him. Don't know how that would be possible . . .
The Rumor
There was an assembly the following Friday mainly to warn students to be safe on Halloween, which would be on the weekend, but no one pays attention to stuff like that. But when the principal walked to the middle of the auditorium . . .
"SHAOW!" the principal yelled in a high-pitched voice, and the students cheered. "Hey, everyone! I'm your principal, George Lopez! No time for any stand-ups, though." Everyone went, Awww! "Ah, fine. But just a short one."
Ed wasn't in the audience. He was sitting with the other Theater people off to the side of the room. Being as clueless as he was about Latin culture, he had no clue who the principal was. But thinking he'd learn something, he took out a notepad and pencil and wrote down everything George Lopez said.
"Spanish is nice," George Lopez started. "That's why everyone tries to speak it now, like in Starbucks." He mimicked a person with a really crappy Spanish accent: "Un grande latte. De cual leche? . . . Oh, fuck." Everyone laughed.
Translation: "A large latte." "What kind of milk?"
Ed poked at Envy with the pencil and whispered, "What did that guy just say?" He noticed that this caused the other Theater people to whisper, too. And they were looking at him. Ed didn't think much about this.
Envy socked Ed on the arm (his human arm) for poking him. "If you don't know, I'm not gonna tell you. Anyway, we're up. You ready?" Ed heard some people snicker at this. What's going on?
Ed had made a much better plane that morning, so the improvised play went perfectly. When they finished, George Lopez finished up the assembly by saying, "Just in case you're wonderin': yes, we did give them all a drug test. They turned out negative . . . that's if our nurse read it right." The students laughed harder than how they were laughing during the play.
Envy decided to stay a little longer in Theater after school, so Ed had to walk home alone. It's not like Ed cared, but the way Envy's attitude has been changing so often troubled him. What's up with Envy? He's still pissed at the fact that Roy isn't expelled yet?
Ed was tired, so he didn't take the time to really ponder. He opened the door to his apartment room, and went straight to bed. As he plopped down onto the sheets, he heard the bed . . . scream?
"AH! What was that for!" Wrath cried. He poked his head out from the covers and glared at Ed, who was on top of him.
Ed immediately jumped back off his bed. "Wrath? What are you doing here!"
"I don't like being alone, so I came here to hang out with Al!"
" . . . Hey, where is Al?"
"He went to the store to buy more food. I was tired, so I stayed here and took a nap, until I was rudely awaken! You should be ashamed of yourself, Ed!"
"What are you talking about! You shouldn't be on my bed in the first place!"
"Oh, now you tell me!" Wrath got off the bed. "But, um, can I stay here anyway?"
Ed gave Wrath a suspicious look. "What for?"
"My apartment room's too crowded. And I'm probably gonna come by every day anyway. Your brother's cool!" Wrath gave Ed the puppy eyes. "So can I stay? Please?"
"That might work on me if I trusted you a little more."
Wrath seemed offended. "What's so untrustworthy about me?"
"Gee, I dunno. Where should I start?" Ed said sarcastically. "Remember that time you tried to steal my body?"
"You need to be more specific. Are you talking about the first time or-"
"That's already one time too many!"
"Well, when was the last time I tried to do that?" Wrath defended himself.
" . . . Hm, good point. You can stay on one condition: tell me what's up with Envy."
Wrath thought for a while. "Yeah, I've been wondering why he's been acting weird lately. But the only thing he ever talks about at home is the next plan for – wait! I shouldn't be saying that!" Wrath grabbed a text book and hit Ed over the head. "Forget what I said! Forget it!"
"Ah! Fine, I'll forget! Stop hitting me!" Ed took the book away from Wrath. It was the Psychology book. Man, that left a mark. Wrath got pissed and tried to grab the book back. "Bad Wrath! Sit!"
Wrath sat on the floor and whimpered like a dog. Then the door sung open, signaling that Al finally came back. Wrath's face lit up and he ran to the door on all fours. "Man, I forgot how weird little kids are," Ed mumbled. (Aztec Goddess: I remember acting like a doggie for fun when I was little!)
Ed shook all thoughts out of his mind and decided to do a little bit of homework. All he needed to finish was Spanish homework, and it seemed impossible for him to do. He had to write an essay (in Spanish, of course) on why or why not to use the bathrooms at school. "Damn, what's the Spanish word for no?" Ed asked himself.
Several hours later, Al came into Ed's room with a quesadilla and a tamarindo drink. "Here's dinner. Maybe eating like a Spanish-speaker will help you think like one?" Ed tossed his essay aside (he managed to finish only the first paragraph with the help of the text book) and grabbed the food.
"Thanks, Al. But I don't think things work that way." Ed skillfully ate the quesadilla because he knows all about these types of foods now.
"Really? That's how Gluttony learned," Wrath commented as he entered the room.
"Yeah, right." Ed chugged the tamarindo drink. "I'll finish my homework on the weekend. I'm gonna sleep now."
Al and Wrath left Ed's room. Ed stripped down to his boxers and got into bed only to realize that sleep wasn't coming easy for him. He had too much on his mind. Will I ever learn Spanish? Who the hell is George Lopez? I wonder where Wrath is sleeping. The Axe effect . . . No wonder Envy smells good. AH! Where'd that thought come from! Well, he does, but that's not the point! Okay, I'm gonna stop thinking NOW! . . . Well, I wasn't expecting that to work.
It was the middle of the night. Wrath entered Ed's room. "Hey, who are you talking to?"
Ed sat up. "Wait, did I say all that out loud?"
Wrath nodded and walked a bit closer to Ed. "You're not naked, are you?"
"What kind of question is that! But if you must know: no."
"Okay, good." Wrath crawled onto Ed's bed and made himself comfortable.
"Um, Wrath? What do you think you're doing?"
"Envy lets me sleep with him when I have nightmares," Wrath replied.
Since Wrath is so cute, Ed didn't have the heart to kick him out of bed. "Okay, whatever," Ed said. "Wait! Envy's nice enough to share his bed with you?"
"Envy can be really nice if he wants to be," Wrath replied, yawning. Then he asked, "Isn't he like your half-brother? How come you guys don't act like it?"
"Y'know, I'd like to know the answer to that, too."
This gave Wrath a great idea. "Hey, how 'bout I learn the answer for you? And in return, you take me trick-or-treating!"
"I'm too old for stuff like that."
"Please! You can practically pass for a ten-year-old!" Ed didn't look happy with that remark, so Wrath added, "A very, very tall ten-year-old!"
"Fine, but I'm not dressing up. I'm just gonna walk you around Central, okay?
Wrath nodded, turned his back to Ed, and fell asleep minutes later.
Halloween night . . .
Wrath had used alchemy to turn some pillows into a cute bunny costume. Ed wore his usual clothes. Al came along too, and also got candy since everyone thinks his armor is his costume.
Wrath insisted that he should hold Ed's hand the entire night so he wouldn't get lost. He even stuck to Ed all the way up to everyone's front porch. Most people thought that Wrath was Ed's son, or daughter . . . mostly daughter. They somehow got to the secretary, Moon-Shoulders, and she thought so, too.
"Oh, so Wrath is your son, Mr. Elric? He looks so cute right now!" she said as she picked up Wrath. "And you look just like your mother!" she said to Wrath.
"Huh? Who do you think is the mother?" Ed asked. Al and Wrath looked just as confused as Ed.
"Isn't the mother that cross-dresser named Envy?" Moon-Shoulders asked innocently.
"What?" Ed almost screamed.
"Oh, sorry. Cross-dresser doesn't sound too nice, does it? But Envy is the mother, right? I've heard from several students that you two are together." Moon-Shoulders sighed. "Ah, young love. So beautiful. So fragile." She played with one of Wrath's bunny ears. "So cute!"
"Hm, I could have sworn Envy is a guy," Al said. He didn't seem to think much of what the secretary was saying.
"Oh! I see now!" Moon-Shoulders declared. She pointed at Ed. "That's why your form said female! You're the mother! And Envy's the father! But you didn't want people to think you're a slut, so you've disguising yourself as a man!"
Wrath gasped. "Mommy. How could you do that!" he asked dramatically.
Al slowly backed off. "I don't want to know what's going on here! I'm going to go back home, okay brother? Um, sister?" Al ran back home.
"WHAT KIND OF IDIOT BELIEVES THIS CRAP!" Ed yelled. He tried his best to calm down and asked the secretary, "Where did you hear all this from, exactly?" One of his eyes was twitching like crazy.
Moon-Shoulders put Wrath down and gave him some candy. "I think almost everyone in school is saying so," she replied. "Why? Is there some false information in it somewhere?"
Ed didn't bother to correct the secretary. He grabbed Wrath's hand and headed home,. "Hey!" Wrath whined. "We still have a couple more streets to go!"
Ed wasn't able to hear Wrath's whining. "I swear," he mumbled to himself, "if this is your fault Roy – what am I talking about? Of course it's your fault! This means I'm gonna have to do way more than get you expelled!"
"HELLO!" Wrath's whining became increasingly louder. "WE'RE NOT DONE TRICK-OR-TREATING YET!"
Ed was still mumbling stuff to himself. Then he looked at Wrath. "And what's with you calling me Mommy?"
"I thought that was your costume! A lot of other people thought so, too!"
Aztec Goddess: (dramatic music in the background) And more drama kicks in! Man, will Ed ever get back at Roy for everything he's done? And what will Envy's reaction to the rumor be?
To: Everto Angelus: At least you don't have to worry about Armstrong showing up again. Maybe not until the last chapter, but I'm not sure 'cause this is still pretty far from the ending. Just wondering . . . have you ever heard of George Lopez before?
To Paola: Paola! I was expecting you to know who the principal was! I guess I'm not good at making riddles. (runs to corner and cries) Oh, hi Alvarez! Whoa, how long have you been here? Hey, you can try thisisnotporn. It's seriously not porn, but I think it's way harder than notpron.
To urbanfae: Whoa, how could anyone live in Border States and not know what a churro is? This reminds me, I haven't had a churro in weeks! Glad you liked that chapter! And my mom says I can't write anything that anyone could relate to. Now I must rub this in her face!
To sexylucifer (ch 7): That'll be so funny yet so sad if it was prom. Hm, now I need to consider where Kelly High should have all the other dances . . .
To sexylucifer (ch 8): I dunno how my grades dropped! Oh, well. At least no C's. I've also heard China's population will decrease like crazy if they keep up the feticide thing. But then again, you guys are all technologically advanced and stuff. Well, we'll just have to wait and see.
To sexylucifer (ch 9): I like the Axe part, too! Yes, that was very selfish and rude of Johnson to keep the gift certificate all to himself.
To nadisrad: Sadly, anything with gelatin in it has cow stomach, or any other animal part that makes it all gooey. I know marshmallows, jell-o, and tons of different types of medicine have it. Nowadays, you don't know what kind of food could have animal parts. It's a known fact that restaurants are allowed to have a certain percentage of insects and rat parts (usually just feces) in their food . . . okay, I think I said too much. Sorry for ruining food for you! I've been doing that a lot lately.
To Angel-of-Music1331: No! . . . But I guess it could turn into an Envy x Ed. I wanna avoid that though. I just want them to act like brothers for once. But they still have a long road ahead of them.
To Iwin Ulose: I remember doing improv. in elementary and junior high for little projects. Nowadays, I only do it for fun with friends when there's nothing else to do. I don't think I'll ever take Theater as a subject 'cause that'll take the fun out of it. That's why I don't like art classes. And my favorite pizza topping is PEPPERONI, all the way! Holla at yo frog! Whatever that means.
To psychofullmetalfan: I think that's the best line, too! Glad you liked it! Titanic is too long for its own good. If I owned Full Metal Alchemist, Ed and Envy would have eventually gotten along, at least like brothers.
To demonik: Ding, ding ding! You're the only one who got it right! You deserve a thumbs up! (gives you a thumbs up) Glad you liked the little improv. Can you imagine doing something like that in real life? I got to level three, but I'm not really into it.