Aztec Goddess: When I saw I had over a hundred reviews, I was like: O.O . . . I LOVE YOU GUYS IN A NON-PERVERTED WAY! (cries dramatically)
Expulsion 2
And so the quarter spun like it never spun before. It was going incredibly slow and looked like it was going to stop on tails . . . and it did. Ed fell to his knees and started yelling at the poor defenseless quarter. "YOU LITTLE BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU!" Roy pointed and laughed at Ed.
A waitress came up to Ed. "I'm sorry, sir," she told him, "but you and your quarter are gonna have to take it outside. We don't want any trouble." Then she gave out utensils and plates filled with food to the Military. "Here are your orders. Enjoy!" Then she walked away, dragging along Ed to the door.
Winry was eyeing the waitress suspiciously. Then she realized something. "Hey, the customers are supposed to get their own food around here!" The Military was already eating at that time.
Then Maria glared at her spoon suspiciously. "The utensils are dirty!" Everyone gasped. "They're trying to kill us! I knew it!"
Roy examined his utensils carefully. " . . . Gunpowder?"
Russell was nearby, and seemed to have lost Envy. He pushed his way through the crowd and eventually ran into him. "Hey, where were you? . . . And why are you dressed up as a waitress?"
"Oh, I forgot." Envy changed back to his skimpy black dress. "I needed to make a call and . . . um, only staff members are allowed to use the phone."
Meanwhile, in the parking lot . . .
"So, is it dark enough yet?" Sheska asked Lust.
Just then, Gluttony walked out of the restaurant and joined Lust and the others. "Envy has finished setting it all up," he said.
"What does that mean?" Sheska asked.
"Don't pay attention to him," Greed said. "He makes no sense, but he's apparently jealous about something." Greed pretended to think. "I know! It's because I'm not gonna let him set off my fireworks!" He took a couple more of the fireworks out of the box and started setting them up along the sidewalk.
But Gluttony had no interest in the fireworks anyway. Once Greed finished emptying out the box, Gluttony jumped inside and started rolling around in it.
Greed took out some matches and before he could use them, Sheska attacked him. "WAIT!" she screeched. "I'm gonna set off the first one!" She pushed Greed to the ground and took away the matches.
Greed sat on the floor, dumbstruck. "I was pushed to the ground by some weak girl!" He covered his face in embarrassment. "I – I just don't know what to believe in anymore."
Pride tried to cheer Greed up. "Um, look at the bright side! I'm sure you get more girls than her, right?" But that made Pride feel sad. He had a family who disappeared into a plot hole, so he has no one! Pride wasn't up to seeing the fireworks anymore, so he went back to the apartment.
Sheska lit up her first firework. It went up in the air, then back down on someone's car. "HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!" she cheered.
The dancing students in the parking lot finally noticed Sheska, the fireworks, and the others. They all looked at her funny. "What are you talking about?" they asked. "It's the middle of November!"
Sheska was about to ask why they would say that, but was rudely interrupted by one of the students. "AH! MY CAR!" he screamed. "Where the hell did it go?"
"Where could it have gone?" his girlfriend asked.
"I dunno, but there's only a pile of burning crap where my car was parked." The guy thought over the situation. Fireworks. Pile of burning crap. Hm . . . "God damn it! I've been jacked! Hey, everyone! Help me look for my car!" The students split up into groups and ran opposite directions down the street.
Sheska sighed of relief. Then she heard several fireworks shoot up in the air. They exploded all beautifully; the way they are supposed to. "Hey!" Sheska turned to Greed. "You meanie! Leave some for me!"
"Greed, stop it," Lust ordered. "Envy called the police several minutes ago. We can't be seen around the fireworks." But Greed wasn't listening. Or maybe he didn't hear Lust since everyone in Hometown Buffet suddenly burst out of the doors to see what was going on.
All this time, Ed was standing next to the restaurant doors, cussing out his quarter. That poor, unlucky guy was hit by the door and was trampled over several times. He recognized Envy at one point, so he grabbed on to his leg. Envy almost fell over, so he grabbed on to Russell.
Ed pulled himself up and asked accusingly, "What'd you do this time, Envy?"
Envy didn't have time to reply. Russell had punched Ed back down to the ground. "Don't touch Envy! And what's your problem with her?"
"Don't you see? He-"
"She." Russell corrected Ed.
Ed rolled his eyes as he stood back up again. "Fine. She doesn't even like you! The only reason she's with you is to stop the rumors about me and her!"
Envy could only watch this argument in amusement. But he knew he had to say something to get out of the situation and continue with the plan to get the Military people expelled. So, Envy pretended to be crushed. "You're an asshole!" He yelled at Ed, then ran off, pretending to cry.
"Now look what you did!" Russell was about to punch Ed again, but Ed blocked him.
"Yeah, Envy's a good actor," Ed retorted. "You should have been here earlier to see our skit for Theater. He-" Ed's voice was drowned away by more loud explosions from the fireworks.
One of the fireworks hit the Hometown Buffet, and started a fire. The State Military watched in awe. "Wait, shouldn't we be doing something about this?" Maria asked Roy.
"No, we're only high school students now," Roy replied. "Our job is to either cause or just watch these types of disasters."
"Oh, that makes sense," Havoc mused.
"It's a good thing I brought marshmallows!" Brosh said as he took out a bag of marshmallows from out of nowhere. The other Military people picked up sticks from the ground, and they all walked closer to the fire.
Envy walked to the nearest phone booth and called the cops for the second time that day. "Hey, I called half an hour ago," he said. "Buildings are burning down now, and you better get here before the culprits leave. . . A coffee crisis? Oh, I see. . . Yeah, I suppose the buildings will still be burning in the next hour. Okay, see ya." Envy hung up. "Man, the people around here are idiots!" he yelled at no one. "Well, I better make sure none of the Military people leave." He walked back to the Hometown Buffet.
Envy disguised himself as Ed and came up to the Military people who were peacefully roasting marshmallows in a very open fire. "There you guys go, making me feel left out again!" he whined.
"You don't deserve marshmallows!" Roy said. "Ever since you've been hanging out with that freak, Envy!"
"He's so . . . slutty," Maria added. "Is that why you liked him in the first place?"
Envy almost couldn't control his anger. Yeah, almost. "What the hell, you bitch!" Envy bitch-slapped Maria. "And I never liked Envy!" Envy thought as fast as he could to end this quickly and put a huge dent in Ed's rep just for fun. "I . . . I love Jean Havoc!" Before Havoc could defend himself, Envy grabbed his ass. Then Envy ran off to meet with Lust. He changed back to his usual form.
"How much longer do we have to wait?" Lust asked Envy.
"I dunno. You'd think that at least the fire department would show up by now, with the fire spreading and all. Makes you wonder why everyone's so calm. . ."
Ed and Russell were still fighting next to the doors. "I'm just being a good friend and telling the truth!" Ed defended himself.
"You're just being an evil little brother to your sister!" Russell retorted.
Ed calmed down. "So, he told you about that?"
"Yeah, when we were at my house and she was-"
"AH! Don't tell me!" Ed immediately covered his ears.
"SHE WAS TUTORING ME FOR SPANISH!" Russell finished.
"Oh, okay then." Ed put his hands back down. "But seriously, Russell. You shouldn't trust Envy so much."
Just then, news reporters, George Lopez, cops, and firefighters came (in that order). The last few fireworks went off when they came.
George Lopez looked up at the sky in awe. "Wow, it's so beautiful! . . . Wait, Mexican fireworks are illegal here." He turned to all the students present and said to them, "Sorry guys, but I'm gonna have to expel the people behind this."
The students whined. This all meant that they were stuck in the parking lot until they were each proven innocent. "Yeah, I know this sucks," George Lopez said. "I don't wanna be here with you guys either, but principals have certain duties, or some shit like that." He thought for a while. "Sabes qué? I'm only gonna pick out the people who really look like they were apart of this."
Translation: "Know what?" That's one of his special lines in real life.
Everyone formed a circle around where the fireworks were set up. Greed was still there with matches in his hand. "Um, I didn't do it," he tried to defend himself. The fact that he was covered in gunpowder didn't help much.
"You're expelled, and so is that guy rolling around in the firework box," George Lopez said, pointing at a saddened Gluttony. George looked around and immediately noticed Sheska still in her sombrero and colorful poncho. "You're expelled, too."
"What do you mean?" Sheska asked. "School has already ended! It's the fourth of July!"
"Okay . . . before you're expelled, you're gonna need to take a drug test."
Lust came up to the principal. "I believe I know who else is involved in this," she said. She led George to the State Military.
"Is there a problem, sir?" Roy asked George.
George looked at each Military person suspiciously. "Yeah, you guys smell like gunpowder."
"Um, it's just the air!" Maria lied, well, not really. She held her hands out to the principal. "See? We're clean!" The others – except stupid Denny Brosh – did the same. Denny didn't wash his hands like the others out of stupidity, so he had to dust the gunpowder off his hands using his pants.
"You're obviously expelled," George said to Denny.
The others gasped. "You can't do that!" Roy yelled. "Pretty soon, there isn't gonna be a State Military!"
George shrugged. "What do I care? Do I look like I'm from around here?" Everyone shook their head. "Exactly, so is anyone else here guilty?"
"I always see that other blonde with matches," Lust said, pointing at Havoc.
Havoc took out his matches. "That's only 'cause I smoke!"
George glared at Havoc suspiciously. "So where are your cigarettes?"
Havoc put his hand in his back pocket, then got that oh, crap look on his face. "Damn it! Ed must have taken my pack of cigarettes! Man, I don't even wanna know what he's doing to it . . ."
"Hey, that means you're expelled, too," George said to Havoc. "That makes what – five now? That sounds like enough. I'm going home." And so George left to wherever the hell he lives.
The Military glared at Lust. "You're behind this, aren't you?"
Lust looked shocked. "I barely got here!" The Military didn't look convinced, so she added, "Prove me wrong." The others had no response for this, so Lust left them with a smug look on her face.
Envy caught up to Lust and asked, "So, how much of the State Military is gone now?"
"We've got three more down, if you count Sheska. But we lost Greed and Gluttony."
"Those idiots. Oh, well. It's not like they were doing much anyway." Envy was throwing a little box up and down for fun while talking. Havoc's cigarettes. "In fact, I'm the one doing all the hard stuff!"
"That's because you like being the center of attention."
"Yeah . . . So when are we gonna tell you-know-who our demands?"
"You mean Ed, right?" Envy nodded. "Back to detesting him, I see." Envy nodded again. "Then we'll have to wait a little longer."
Aztec Goddess: Here's a recap: Hawkeye, Fury, Wrath, Armstrong, Greed, Gluttony, Sheska, Brosh, and Havoc are all expelled. Man that's like half the people already!
To Angel-of-Music1331: I'm afraid to be spoiled! But I bought the entire season off ebay the other day, so I'll probably be able to read your story some time next week.
To Everto Angelus: Yay, I get a salute! (feels proud) I hope that's the chicken dance playing in the background! (starts dancing)
To nonesofar: Milk has given me super powers! Defy it, and you shall be crushed by a lawn mower! Join us! JOIN US!
To Runa: You were right, Ed's crappy luck bit him in the ass again! Right now, I'm trying to think of another brilliant thing Al has to go through later on. But this chapter was made to see who would get expelled next.
To Iwin Ulose: Yeah, that would have been a good idea, but I want Ed back in a skirt to make things more difficult for him! I have decided to write two completely different types of stories for this one project for a school program. I was thinking of making a Humor, then a Romance, but to be totally opposite, the Romance is probably gonna be more Angst than anything.
To nadisrad: Thank you for helping me reach this mark with all your reviews! So, has the boat dock recovered yet? I only got the usual: being attacked by sparks from Morning Glories. It wasn't so bad this year though.
To Lil-Kudo (ch 1): Too bad for the FMA cast, high school isn't going too be all that great for them.
To Lil-Kudo (ch 2): Glad to hear that!
To Lil-Kudo (ch 3): Don't worry, high school isn't as bad as it is for Ed. Unfortunately, high school teachers rarely give out treats for being good. (cries) I miss elementary school!
To Lil-Kudo (ch 4): Yeah, but it was hard for me to imagine Hughes doing that. So, are your sister and cousin old enough to read this?
To Lil-Kudo (ch 5): No, not really, unless you're lucky.
To sexylucifer: No, Ed just thinks female Envy is hot. I can't have them falling in love in this story! If that happens, I'm gonna have to change a lot of my plans.
To Lil-Kudo (ch 6): Of course I'll continue! I really wanna see how this will turn out 'cause I have no clue myself!
To Lil-Kudo (ch 7): For some reason, Ed doesn't strike me as the type of person who would know any Spanish, even though his name sounds like Eduardo in the Japanese version . . . Oh, well.
To Lil-Kudo (ch 8): Yeah, that would be cool, but it'll suck not being one of the anime characters.
To Lil-Kudo (ch 9): I feel like that, too!
To Lil-Kudo (ch 10): Yay!
To Lil-Kudo (ch 11): No, I don't think that line is in the series, but if you really think about it, it's true.
To Lil-Kudo (ch 12): Lucky you, not having to wait long for the update. And I can't thank you enough for all the reviews, but I'll try: THANK YOU times infinity to the infinite power!