Aztec Goddess: Well, I've got nothing on my mind, so I'll just start the chapter now.
Grapes, Nature's Wish Makers
After only a couple of days, Al was skilled enough to give people manicures in his sleep. Well, he had no choice since he always fell asleep when a customer would tell him their life story. It was always the same thing when a student came in: they'd talk about how confusing the whole Envy and Ed thing was. Al never bothered correcting their confusion. So as far as all the other students knew, there were two Eds and two Envys – a male and a female of each.
Al came home from another hard day of napping and that's when he realized that Winry's still around. She was snooping around Ed's room looking for nothing in particular. But she was very focused on finding nothing considering that she literally turned Ed's room inside-out.
"What are you doing, Winry?" Al asked as he casually started putting stuff like furniture in their rightful place.
"This is a common thing everyone does when they have some catching up to do with old friends," Winry replied as she flipped Ed's bed to its side and examined every inch of it.
"You're a bit late for that," Al said. "Most of our stuff was destroyed by, um, some accident concerning fairies and non-alchemic related magic."
Winry gasped. "Magic? That makes you a traitor! How could you, Al?" She took out some drawers from Ed's nightstand. A little piece of paper flew out and it landed face-up between Winry and Al. They gawked at it, completely dumbstruck.
"Um . . . maybe it's not what it looks like!" Al said in a scared voice, trying as best he could to believe what he just said.
Winry fell to her knees. "I can't believe it. Ed's a pervert! It's not well drawn, but there's no doubt about what it is!" She covered her eyes dramatically. "Throw it away! I don't wanna see it again!"
"But if we do that, Ed'll know that we've been going through his stuff!" Al stared at the paper in confusion now. "How did this end up here in the first place? . . . Let's just put it back and think nothing about it."
"Nothing about it?" Winry repeated like a drama queen. "Ed drew a picture of Envy – without his skort!" She began to cry. "Why can't I have any normal friends?"
"Hey!" Al was offended. "You shouldn't have snooped around my brother's stuff in the first place! Plus, the drawing looks unfinished, so stop getting the wrong idea!"
Winry curled up into a ball in the corner. "Quit denying what that drawing means!" She rocked herself back and forth trying to calm herself down.
Al sighed, picked up the crappy drawing of Envy, and put it back where it fell out. "I'm sure it's just a memento." Then he asked Winry, "Got anything else planned for today?"
Winry's face brightened as she remembered the events to come in a matter of hours. "Let's go see what Hughes and his family are gonna do!"
Somewhere in Yahualica . . .
Scar and Abel were running around town frantically, trying to get away from the gang of girls that dragged them out of school that one day when Scar wanted to kill Ed. These Ishbalian brothers have done a lot of traveling – Paris, California, Ontario, and other random places – but they could never get away from their little fan club.
"So . . . tired," Abel panted. "Can't even . . . run right . . ."
"Now you're the one complaining!" Scar replied. "Oh, crap," he said as he almost ran into a wall. The brothers had run into a dead end.
"Yay, we win again!" the leader of the girls cheered. "Let's get 'em, girls!"
"What else could you want from us?" Abel cried.
"The usual," another girl replied.
"We love foreigners!" all the girls squealed in unison.
It really sucks when you're outnumbered in a situation like this. Lucky for the Ishbalians, Ed and Wrath came by carrying crates of grapes. They stopped to see what was going on. Abel called out to them, "Hey! Guy my brother wants to kill! Help us!"
The girls turned to face Ed and Wrath and gave them the evil eye. "You better not interfere with love!" The girls told them.
"Okay," Ed replied, then started walking to his destination again.
Wrath put his crate down and tugged at Ed. "But we've gotta help them! Those girls are bullying them! Look at all the bruises they have!"
"Um, yeah, bruises," Scar said as he fixed up his jacket collar.
Ed sighed. He could never say no to Wrath. "Fine. Hey, girls!" He called to the girls. "You're the Foreign Lovers Club from school, right?" The girls nodded. "Well, guess what? You're all in a foreign country right now!"
The girls gasped in glee. "Oh, my god! He's so totally right!" the leader said. "We could like get a different guy for each of us here! Onward, girls!" So the girls left Scar and Abel to pursue new options.
"Wow, and people say you're a slut," Abel commented to Ed.
"WHAT?" Ed screamed. His crate would have hit the floor, but Wrath came to its rescue.
"Oh, don't worry about it!" Abel comforted Ed. "They say the female Ed is a slut, so as long as you don't wear a skirt anymore, no one will ever realize that you're the same person!"
Wrath looked as pissed off as Ed. "Don't call Mommy a slut!"
"Mommy?" Scar repeated, looking amused.
"Don't ask," Ed retorted as he and Wrath grabbed their respective crates and walked away.
"I feel like I'm forgetting something . . ." Scar mused. He thought for a while. "Oh. Damn it! Now I'm indebted to Ed!"
"That's a good thing!" Abel replied. "Now you don't have to worry about killing him and focus on the important stuff like how we ended up here and how the hell we're gonna get back home!" Abel had a good point there.
In the evening, at the corral . . .
Russell had just finished his last chores: feeding and grooming the peacock. That bird seems to be super nice to everyone except for Ed. Well, maybe that's because Ed's always the one that ends up giving it a bath. Russell leaned on one of the gates and petted the peacock, waiting for a certain someone.
That certain someone came out of the house moments later wearing a traditional Mexican dress (those long, colorful ones). "The New Years festival is tonight!" Envy said as he walked up to Russell. "Is that what you wanted to talk about, nene?"
". . . Six weeks," Russell replied.
"Hm?"
"It's been six weeks. Didn't you know that?"
"Oh! Of course I know! Wow, that's pretty long considering we're in high school." What? Is he expecting a six-week anniversary? Envy thought.
Russell looked kinda embarrassed but really serious while saying this: ". . . Don't you think we're going too slowly?"
Well, now looks like a good time to end this! Envy thought. "What are you talking about?" he asked Russell, sounding devastated. "Are you saying that all this time you've just wanted to get in my pants?" Hm, when was the last time I wore pants?
"I've never even gotten in your mouth!" Russell sounded just as devastated, but he wasn't faking it.
"So is that what you wanted to tell me all this time? You're horrible, Russell! Relationships should be built on tru-ust!" Envy's voice cracked. He made it sound like he was about to cry rather than trying not to laugh. Envy stormed back inside the house before hearing Russell's response, but he was pretty sure it was over between them.
Envy went to his room, stood in front of a full-sized mirror, and sighed. "Finally! Now I can turn back to my most beautiful form!" So Envy turned back to his popular male form with the sports bra and manly skort. "I miss you!" Envy cried as he hugged the mirror.
Wrath entered the room. "Yay! You're back to normal!" He gave Envy and the mirror a hug. "So anyway, when does the festival start? What do I wear?"
"It'll start in less that an hour and you can wear whatever you want. But I don't want to hear you complaining on how cold it's going to be outside."
Wrath nodded. Then he went back to the room he sleeps in, and jumped onto his and Ed's bed to wake up the poor sleeping Ed. Ed always had the most work around the house. "Wake up! You know how close to midnight it is?"
Ed lazily sat up. "I dunno. What does the clock say?"
Wrath stared at the clock on the wall for a long time. "It looks like this!" Wrath outstretched his arms as far away as possible.
"Nine fifteen?"
"Um, sure. How close is that to midnight?"
Ed was too tired to roll his eyes so he just plopped back down onto his pillow. "You should take a nap, too. You'll never stay up 'till midnight."
"Yes I will!" Wrath protested. "Plus, I wanna go to the festival! It's gonna start soon!" He started jumping up and down on the bed. Eventually, Ed fell off and became completely awake.
"Okay, we'll go! Damn you and your cuteness!"
About an hour later . . .
"Churros! Pan dulce! Sugar canes!" Wrath was dragging Ed all around downtown to every food cart in sight. It would have been pretty dark at ten o'clock at night if fireworks weren't constantly going off. Everything looked discolored due to the fireworks. Drunks danced harmoniously on the streets. Mariachis were everywhere. The only thing that set this night apart from all the other nights in Yahualica was that everyone had grapes. Well, except for Ed and Wrath. They didn't really understand the point in that.
There were tons of game booths all over the place too, but I'm just describing everyday Yahualica again. Seriously, there are festivals every night over there. But holiday festivals are naturally more extravagant.
Wrath played the shooting the duck game, hit all the targets, and won a stuffed bunny on his first try. Ed came to the conclusion that the game was simple, so he gave it a couple of tries. He found out how much he sucked, but lost twenty bucks before that realization. On his last try, Ed threw the gun at one of the ducks. It hit the target, but the duck remained standing.
"That thing's rigged!" Ed swore as he and Wrath walked away from the booth to check other stuff out. "It's because I can't speak Spanish! I bet that guy was talking shit about me! Man, how'd I understand Spanish a couple days ago?"
"I remember Envy dragged you home one day and you were speaking nonsense in Spanish," Wrath replied. "He said you were a little drunk."
"Aha! Beer! I remember now . . . kinda!" Ed declared. "Is it okay with you if I get a little drunk right now?"
Wrath gasped. "That'll make you a bad influence! And if you really wanna learn Spanish, why didn't you ask me to help? I'm pretty fluent, you know!"
Ed thought for a while. "Oh, yeah! You were in my class! But if your idea doesn't work, I'm getting a drink, okay?"
Wrath nodded. He led Ed around again, and this time pointing stuff out and saying the Spanish word for it. He taught Ed the basics like table is mesa, games are juegos, drunks are borrachos, and so on and so forth.
It was about ten minutes until midnight when Wrath got too tired to walk around anymore. Ed gave him a piggy back ride to where all the people were gathering at. It was an open field that gave everyone the best views of the fireworks. Most people were lying down on towels with plates of grapes in hand. But they weren't eating any.
"Hey! Over here!" Ed heard Envy call to him. Envy, Russell, and Fletcher were sitting on a towel, and they had grapes, too. Well, Russell wasn't really sitting since he was on all fours begging Envy to change back into a girl and take him back. Fletcher had all his attention focused on his twelve grapes placed perfectly on a small glass dish. He was trying his hardest not to eat them. They were each wearing cozy looking ponchos, which is freaking smart because Ed just realized that it's freaking cold!
"I'm sorry, Envy! Forgive me!" Russell cried. "I promise to be a better boyfriend!"
"Forget it! You've hurt me enough already!" Envy replied dramatically.
Ed rolled his eyes then sat Wrath and himself down next to Envy. "So, what's with the grapes?" Ed asked.
"Ah! Don't say grapes!" Fletcher cried. "They're so tempting! I can't stand it!"
"It's your own fault," Envy replied. "You could have eaten some earlier, but now you have to wait!"
"Envy . . ." Russell started.
Envy was getting really annoyed by Russell. "Listen, if you can accept me as a male, then I'll give you a second chance."
Well, that shut Russell up. "Um . . . let's sit somewhere else, Fletcher. Sitting next to Envy is confusing me." And so the Tringham brothers left.
". . . So, what's with the grapes?" Ed repeated himself.
"That reminds me . . ." Envy handed Ed and Wrath each twelve grapes on a small glass dish. "They're courtesy of Petra and Cheseto. You eat twelve grapes for the last twelve seconds before New Years and make a wish for each one. That's tradition here in Mexico."
"Oh, I see. But why grapes?"
"Because grapes make wine!" Envy pulled out a bottle of wine from nowhere. "This is the first thing you drink on New Years! It's another tradition!"
Dozens of fireworks shot up at once and made a lot more noise than usual. This startled Wrath since he was almost falling asleep. He looked around in confusion. "What was that?" he asked, sleepily.
"That means that there's one minute left until midnight," Envy explained. "They tell time by using fireworks 'cause it's not like there's a huge clock around here. There's gonna be more like that, then the finale."
"Oh," Wrath yawned.
"I knew you wouldn't be able to stay up," Ed said to Wrath.
"But I need to now!" Wrath pouted. "There's only one minute left and I need to make my wishes!" He held his stuffed bunny close with his free hand and shivered. "I'm . . ."
"You're what?" Envy questioned, sounding a bit threatening.
"Nothing! It's just . . ." Wrath didn't need to finish. Envy sighed and handed his poncho to Wrath, which he used as a blanket.
The really loud fireworks started again, signaling the twelve-second countdown. Everyone ate their grapes and made their wishes. All of Ed's and Envy's wishes were something along the lines of finding the philosopher's stone. But Wrath had something completely different in mind.
"FELIZ AÑO NUEVO!" everyone cheered. (Aztec Goddess: Hopefully, I don't need to translate that.)
Then the finale started. It was ten minutes of continuous blinding lights that made pretty flowery designs in the sky. In the middle of the show, Ed grabbed the bottle of wine from Envy and yelled over the fireworks, "I've waited long enough! I wanna be fluent at Spanish again!"
"Hey, give it back!" Envy yelled back as he made a dive for the wine. "You probably don't know how to open it!"
"How hard could it be?" Ed grabbed the cork with his automail arm.
"If you pull too hard, you'll-" Well, it's obvious what happened next. Of course Ed pulled too hard, and he and Envy were covered in fizz in an instant. Wrath was at a safe distance, so he just enjoyed the extra little show. Envy took away the bottle. "You shouldn't even be drinking! You're a minor, and you're short, too!"
"MY SHORTNESS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH DRINKING!"
"Ha! You admit you're short!"
". . . Damn."
"Anyway, short people get drunk a lot faster." Envy took a sip from the bottle. "I'm sure you'll get tipsy with just the fizz on your face!"
"C'mon! Just a sip!" Ed whined.
Envy stared at the bottle as if it was his prized possession. "Ask me later when I start acting drunk." The fireworks started dying down. "I shouldn't even be giving you a chance. You're just a nene, after all."
That last comment made Wrath smile. Feeling extremely tired, he rested his head on Ed's lap. "Do you guys know what I used all my wishes for?"
"Your own bed?" Ed guessed.
"Lingerie?" Envy guessed as he took another sip of wine.
"Hey, does that mean you're drunk already?" Ed asked hopefully. Envy shook his head.
"You guys are way off!" Wrath replied. "I wished for . . ." Wrath yawned. "For you two to get along. You guys are more fun that way!" With that said, Wrath fell asleep.
Aztec Goddess: So are Ed and Envy finally gonna get along for sure? Um I dunno. I guess I'll find out with the rest of you readers!
To Everto Angelus: Yeah, I gave Ed a break. Hopefully, he'll be able to pass Spanish class without having to get drunk at school . . .
To urbanfae (ch 15): Hey, I used to say JELLO, too! But that was just because all my cousins said it and it sounded right . . . anyway, now I'm beginning to wonder if drinks can really allow you to speak Spanish . . .
To urbanfae (ch 1): As long as the typos are fixed. I put in corals instead of corrals in my first submission of chapter fifteen! So you're Castilian? I can't speak like them without sounding retarded.
To Iwin Ulose: Yeah, I guess I could have added that, but how could the ticket person have known that Ed wasn't one of the children? Heh, the beer hat thing sounds like a good idea, too! Does that exist in their world? Oh, and I'm feeling much better now.
To Lil-Kudo: I'll try to go back to updating every other day again. I'll try not to get sick again or worse, develop writer's block! (scary music in the background)
To nadisrad: Yeah, I don't trust Dora either. It's scary when she just looks at you for an entire minute when you're supposed to respond to her questions. That idiot always acts like I really did answer her! It's creepy.
To Lolafreak: In one of the earlier chapters, it says that Hughes stapled pictures of his daughter all over Roy's office, as well as draw flowers and a big Roy x Ed on his desk. What else could he have done? Let's see what Hughes has to say. Hughes: Well, when I got my car back, I crashed it into one of the walls of Roy's office. I think I also left some half-eaten food and dirty laundry all over the place. And . . . I think that's it!
To nonesofar: Of course I gave it back! It's the soda that's taking over your mind! You'll see the truth when the epic battle of Milk versus Soda begins!
To Angel-of-Music1331: Ed appreciates the beer you bought for him. Ed: Gracias! Oh, I said thank you in Spanish! Skills! (does the Mexican hat dance)