"Nick?" I asked, opening Nick's bedroom door and peeking inside. Nick had called his mom, we were going to the hospital to see his sister, and we had supposedly left already. But he was sitting on his bed, looking steadfastly at the floor. When I opened his door, he looked up at me, and then back to the carpet.
I had never seen Nick at a low like this, and it worried me. I walked over to his bed and sat beside him, seating myself very close to him.
"You okay?" I say, knowing he's not, but not wanting to press the issue if he didn't want it pressed.
He looks at me, and our eyes connect momentarily before he returns them to the ground before him. Then, silently, and even more tenderly, he slides his hand to my lap, resting at mid-thigh. A shiver shoots through my body, and Nick feels it. His hand's position remains the same, but his fingers dip between my legs, cupping my thigh. A smile tugs at my lips, and I don't even attempt to stop it as I place my hand on top of his.
"It sucks, ya know? She's my sister…I don't know if I can do it. I won't make it without crying, and I can't do that in front of her when she needs me to be strong." He says, still staring at the floor. I look at the ground too, and memories come flooding back to me…back when I was feeling the same exact thing, but ten times worse.
"Nick, I know…I know what you're feeling. Just remember, that your sister cares as much about you as you do about her. You both haven't seen each other in a while, and while the circumstances are really crappy, hey, she's going to be okay. I'm sure all she wants to see is you."
He turns to me, and before I get a chance to react, he kisses my cheek and gently squeezes my thigh. I smile, and I allow my eyes to connect with his. That's one thing I have noticed; being around Nick is never awkward.
"…Thanks Sara." He says, and I nod in a way that says 'anytime'. I squeeze his forearm, and motion with my head towards the door.
"You ready?" I ask, smiling reassuringly at him when I see a smile tug at his lips. He lets the smile spread, standing up and taking my hands. I look up at him and stand as he envelopes me in a hug. His arms drape around my sides, and I can't help but pull him closer. I love the feeling I get when he hugs me, this sense of security and safeness.
Instead of holding me by the hips as he usually does, both Nick's hands rest at the small of my back. I know this is another one of those subtle moves that shows our increasing closeness. His thumb gently caresses my back, and my hands snake around his neck and play a little in his hair. I step into him, inching him closer and breathing out. I feel him kiss the top of my head gently and rest his chin on my head.
"Yeah, I'm ready." He says, "But only 'cause you're here." I smile at his kindheartedness. I feel his hands move, going from the small of my back to my sides.
"Nick…" I say whisper softly, knowing we needed to go, but not really wanting to. I wanted to see where this was going with Nick. The kiss Nick placed on top of my head told me he was thinking the same thing.
Nick took his head off mine, and I picked my own head up from his shoulder. I caught his eye, and what was held within it surprised me. I saw a little passion, a little want, but mostly…love. The kind of love a man has never had for me before. I held his eye, and before I knew what was happening, I felt my eyes closing, and a warm pair of lips pressing gently against my own.
That's right.
I'm kissing Nick Stokes.
For real.
A real kiss.
He broke off, but kissed me again, his head dipping down to allow better access to my mouth. His hands slid southward, landing somewhere between my butt and waist. I smiled against his lips. I have kissed men before, but never has so much ridden on such an innocent kiss.
I let the kiss fade and pull slowly away, opening my eyes and looking at Nick. He smiles anxiously, awaiting my reaction. I smile and look away, trying to keep the blush out of my cheeks.
"Nick we should go…" I say, trying to emphasize the fact that we cannot get into this right now, no matter how much I know I want to. He frowns and looks away, dropping his hands.
I direct his averted eyes back to mine with a hand at his chin. My brow furrows, asking him what is wrong.
"I'm sorry…I screwed up. I shouldn't have done anything without talking to you first. I didn't mean to go too fast or anything…" he says, and I can see his heart literally breaking in his eyes.
"Nick…" I say, cupping his face with both hands, "that's not it at all. I don't want you to miss your sister, and we need to talk about this. But don't worry, I loved kissing you." I smile gently at him, and lean in, planting another kiss on his lips. He responds eagerly, one hand firmly cupping my butt this time. I giggle into his mouth, and he breaks the kiss and looks into my eyes, but keeps his hand steady.
"Laughin' again Sidle! You better watch yourself, or you're gonna turn some guy on with that cute laugh." Nick whispers, kissing the tender spot behind my ear.
"Yeah," I say, my hands on his shoulders and my arms wrapping around his, "that's great, but I only see one guy I'm interested in."
"Watch yourself…" Nick growled slightly, squeezing my butt. I suck in a breath as he does, an intense shudder run throughout my body. Feeling it, Nick holds me close, my front completely flushed against his, and I relax in his arms.
"You're okay with this, huh?" he whispers, as if afraid to hear the answer. I smile, caressing the back of his neck.
"Yeah…yeah I really am." I assure him, and I feel him let out a breath he was obviously holding.
I take my head off Nick's chest, and he looks quizzically at me. I smile and let one hand come to cup his face, my thumb tracing his cheek. I watch his eyes soften and he licks his lips. I feel a rush of intense emotion as he rubs my back gently, and suddenly, I'm struck with the amazing feelings I'm getting from his every touch and caress. Now I know I've screwed this up in the past, and I can't compare it to anything I've ever felt before, but this strange sense was telling me…
…this is love.
- Nick's Point Of View -
As I held Sara in my arms, feeling her hand on my cheeks, and her body pressed against mine, I felt this sense of…I don't even know how I could describe it.
I was calm, but I was freaking out. I felt relaxed, and I wanted to jump all around. I felt at peace, but I wanted to scream and yell.
Maybe…I'm in love with Sara.
Or maybe…I always have been.
I smile, and she smiles back.
"You ready to go?" she asks me gently, her smile fading slightly as her thumb continues to trace my jaw. I think she feels my pain, but I can't imagine how she knows. I hold her closer, squeezing her as she hugs me tight.
"Ready as I'll ever be…" I trail off and she kisses the side of my neck. I never knew that Sara could be this way, so…comforting, so loving. I feel her take her head off my shoulder, and she smiles at me as she steps out of my embrace. Cold air rushes to my chest, furtherly emphasizing her absence.
"C'mon, they're going to wonder where we are." Sara says, and I nod.
We reach for each other's hand at the exact same time.
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After a fifteen minute car ride, Sara and I get out at Lakewood Local Hospital. Walking along the sidewalk, I notice Sara's unusual closeness. I place a hand at the small of her back and she stops.
"Something wrong?" I ask, my brow furrowing.
She looks away, and I can almost feel a whole new attitude coming over her.
"No…I mean…I don't like hospitals." She says, reciting the last part incredibly quickly and avoiding my eye. I take her hand and she looks from the ground to me. I smile and lean in towards her, kissing her lovingly. She is the sweetest thing my lips have ever tasted, and I relish in it before pulling away.
"I'm still here…" I assure her, and she smiles again. I raise my eyebrows and motion toward the hospital entrance, and she nods. We walk hand in hand through the door, and right up to the counter.
"I'm looking for Kayla Saywell…" I say to the woman seated behind the counter top. She nods and types into the computer, and I look over at Sara. She blushes and looks away with a grin on her face after I squeeze her hand.
The receptionist smiles as her eyes dart from the computer screen to the two of us.
"Room 203, sir. It's on the second floor; the elevator is just to your left." She smiles, and points us in the right direction. I smile and nod my thanks to her, tugging gently at Sara's hand as I lead her in the right direction. Again, I notice Sara walking close to me, way closer than normal. Something is scaring her, and my instinct is telling me it's the fact we're in a hospital.
Something strikes me as we walk into the elevator, and my hand curls around Sara's waist, pulling her side and mine close together.
"Hey Sar?"
"Yeah?" she replies, putting her head on my shoulder.
"What do you want me to tell my family? I mean…who should I introduce you as?" I said, beating around the bush. I wanted to see Sara's reaction, and her response to potentially being my 'official' girlfriend. She thought this over for a minute before picking her head up and looking at me.
I stared deep into Sara's eyes. I saw in them hurt, and worry, and fear. I know she has been hurt in the past, and she's scared to be hurt again. I know that she, as well as I, is thinking that she doesn't want to lose one of her best friends over a relationship. But I also saw in her eyes need, and want, and love, and hope. And I knew that those feelings were stronger than the others, but they needed time to grow. So I waited for her answer.
"I'm still your best friend, right?" she asked tentatively, and I knew at this point, she wasn't positive what I felt, or what she felt. She had a sad look on her face, as if she thought I would take it the wrong way.
"Of course you are…" I stated firmly, kissing the top of her forehead. I squeezed her hips and motioned with my head towards the now opening elevator door. She took my hand again, and I looked over at her and smiled. We walked silently down the hall, and the task at hand dawned on me once again.
I could tell that Sara was still affected by the fact that we were in a hospital, but something was different. She had gotten…worse somehow. I wondered what she was thinking about…maybe my sister…
"Nicky…" she said, putting her hand on my forearm and breaking me out of my daze. I stopped beside her.
"What baby?" I said, calling her baby by an accidental impulse. I really didn't mean to, it just slipped out, and I worried she wouldn't like it, so I tried to correct it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
But she stopped me, smiling and putting her hand on my chest. "It's okay." She said, pursing her lips to try and stop the smile.
I wondered right then if anyone, anyone at all, had ever called her baby.
"We're just…we're at the room." She points to a room just a few feet from where we stand.
Room 203.
I looked away, and she kissed my cheek, squeezing my hand. I took a deep breath, and looked her straight in the eye.
"Sara…thank you for being her for me. I never knew how much I needed someone…I mean…" I say, cupping her cheek, "how much I needed you." I caressed the back of her hand, and we shared a simple kiss before she motioned towards the door. I nodded solemnly afterwards, curling her hair behind her ear. I was tempted to take her hand, but I knew that once I did, I wouldn't want to let go, and my family wasn't supposed to think we were together.
I motioned towards the door, and we walked towards it together.
- Sara's Point Of View -
He turned the handle, and opened it.
"Nicky!" I heard a woman's voice, and Nick walked quickly over to the bed to see his sister. They both started crying, and watching them hug and exclaim brought a tear to my eye. I wiped it away and watched Nick.
"Kay…oh my Lord you gave us all such a scare hunny! What were you doing?" Nick asked, crying tears of joy at his sister being okay. He hugged her again, since she was in an upright position. I could hear him whispering to her, asking what she was doing and telling her he loved her. I smiled.
"Nicky where have you been? We never see you 'round here, we miss you! Why don't you come on home and bring-"she stopped, seeing me, "…and bring a girl."
Kayla smiled broadly at me, and I smiled at her.
"Who's this Nick?" Kayla said, raising her eyebrows, and instantly, I felt every pair of eyes in the room come to rest on me. Nick saw my uneasiness, and I shifted uncomfortably. He motioned for me to come over to him, and I gladly did. His hands rested on my hips as I stood before him, and more than one eyebrow rose.
"Kayla…everyone…this is Sara." Nick introduced, and smiles came to the faces of who I assumed to be the Stokes women.
"Sara who? Sara girlfriend? Sara fiancée? Sara wife?" exclaimed one of the ladies.
Nick chuckled and so did I at the wife comment.
"No, Sammy, actually, this is Sara, best friend Sara." Nick corrects, but I can see that we are not going to convince anyone that we aren't dating.
"Sara…these are my sisters Kayla, Samantha, and Lindsay, along with my brother Mark. And, you already know Mom…" He introduces, and I hug the girls and shake hands with Mark. When I reach Kayla, I give her a tight hug as another tear runs down my face. Nick's brow furrows, questioning me silently. I shake my head and wipe my tears.
"Why you cryin' hun?" Kayla asks me, and I just shake my head.
"I'll tell you later." I whisper in her ear, and she nods. I don't know why, but I trust her immediately, and I know she'll understand what I'm going to tell her.
"Nicky, how's work and everything?" his sister Lindsay asks. I sit on the bed next to Nick as he talks to everyone, going and giving them hugs and slapping his brother on the back. I talk to Kayla only, and I get to know her quite well, given the time frame. An hour passes, and I am surprised at how much I learn about everyone. Although Kayla was my favorite, Lindsay and Sammy were growing on me. We gossiped about things in entertainment news for a bit, all crowding around Kayla's bed.
Right after Sammy left, Nick came to check on me.
"Are you okay Sara?" he asked, and I shook my head no. He frowned, and pulled me into a light hug, as to not raise suspicion.
"We'll talk later, right?" he whispered in my ear, and I whispered my agreement back to him. I knew most of the eyes were probably on us, but the chatter continued, so I didn't pay much attention.
Once he got up, I turned back to Kayla. She smiled knowingly, and I blushed, feeling my cheeks turn hot. Kayla didn't say a word about it, she just moved on to our conversation.
I relished in the time I spent with the family. Their closeness amazed me. I talked most of the time with Kayla, getting to know her better. By the time Lindsay had left, I felt like she was the best friend I never had, but always needed. When his brother went to walk his mother to the car, Nick came to talk with the two of us for a while, sitting behind me as I faced Kayla. She watched our interaction with amusement, raising an eyebrow as Nick sat close to me with one hand on my hip, the other on the bed, right next to my leg.
"How are things over here?" he said, oblivious to the fact his sister was picking up on the chemistry between us, if she didn't already know.
Which I think she does.
"Not much Nicky…" she said, and I nodded in agreement. We smiled at each other, and Nick took his sister's hand in his.
"I'm so happy you're okay Kayla. I'm not sure what I would have done…" he trailed off, and I leaned back on him for a little support. Kayla smiled at him, and squeezed his hand. I know all three pairs of eyes watered at that moment.
"I love you so much Kay…" Nick said, squeezing my hip slightly as he got up to give her a big hug. She smiled and wiped tears from her eyes.
"I love you too Nicky…" she said as he released his hold on her. He looked back at me, and I nodded, motioning to the bed in front of me. He smiled and sat down, talking to his sister closely, I stare at his back, trying to resist touching him.
I almost succeeded.
I couldn't help myself. I reached out and started to rub his back.
First, tentatively. Only small parts of his upper shoulder. He relaxed and turned his head sideways to look at me. I met his eyes, and he smiled broadly at me before turning back to his sister. His shoulders were tense, so I squeezed and rubbed them with circular motions. He relaxed, rolling his shoulders back. I smiled and continued down his back, pushing and rolling the kinks out of it.
"Sara…" he finally said after five minutes, "that feels so nice…where'd you learn it?"
I shrug as he turns around enough to see me.
"I don't know, picked it up somewhere along the line."
Just then the door opened, and Mark popped his head into the room.
"Hey, somebody wanna go grab some food?" he asked, and Nick perked up.
"Oh, that's nice." Kayla exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air. "Leave me the gross food why don't we?"
"Sorry sis, but hell yeah, I'm starved. Sara?" Nick turned to me. I took a quick glance at Kayla, and knew this was my chance to be alone with her to talk.
"Umm…no, that's okay. I think I'll stay here. Kayla needs someone after all…"
Nick looked at me, puzzled. His brow furrowed, but I smiled and made a shooing motion with my hand.
"Okay Sar. I'll see y'all later." Nick said, and Mark kissed his sister and gave me a friendly hug.
"I'll see you gals tomorrow?" he said, and I smiled and nodded.
"See you." I said, and he nodded.
"Bye Markie!" Kayla exclaimed. And with that, they were out the door.
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Author's Note –
Okay, so this is half filler chapter, half not. I promised you sister action in this chapter, and you got it. SO be happy, lol
I know I know, we still don't know 'THE BIG SECRET', but by next chapter, that all will have changed. And believe me, this isn't the usual 'Sara was raped' secret either. I can personally assure you that you haven't heard this 'secret' before.
I'm already five pages into the next chapter, so don't worry, it'll be up by this time next week, or even before. Check around Monday.
I wonder, sometimes, what people think of this story. DON'T MAKE ME WONDER!! TELL ME!!!
So much love (but a lot more to the people who review…)
The Notorious Cat