Note –

Caution – This chapter is very powerful and contains a lot of raw emotion on both Nick and Sara's part. I'm sorry if I didn't capture it well, but cut me some slack. I'm fifteen.

I also am aware of the fact that this is a little bit shorter of a chapter than you are probably accustomed to reading from me, but believe me; it packs just as much emotional punch as a twelve-pager would.

Love From –

The Notorious Cat

-

- Sara's Point Of View -

I took a deep breath and just looked at Nick. He watched me closely, waiting for me to be ready. I wondered what he had talked to Kayla about. I knew she hadn't told him about my brother, but I knew she had probably hinted that I had something important to tell him.

I dropped my head, biting my lip and staring at our joined hands. I felt Nick scoot closer to me and kiss the side of my head, but still, I did not meet his eye. He sighed, and I knew he was frustrated. I felt my eyes start to water and I closed them; any and all insecurities I have ever had were rushing at me faster than a raging river.

"Sara, it's okay. Whatever it is, you can tell me." he said. I nodded, my eyes still closed and my head tilted downwards. He curled my hair behind my ear to see my face, and realized I was on the verge of tears.

"Hey…It's just me baby…it's okay…" he said, trying to comfort me. But he only made it worse. He called me baby again. I wasn't his baby. He didn't love me, and the last thing I needed was to hear him call me a pet name. I was going to tell him something that was going to expose me for who I really was…for the worthless tramp I really was. I continued to look downwards, knowing that if I looked at him, all I would see was what I would never have; I would see what I was missing.

"Sara…c'mon, I know this must be hard for you, whatever this is…but I need to know…I care about you-" he said, but suddenly I stood up, anger flaring inside me. I looked at him, feeling the tears stream down my face as I screamed.

"NO! No you don't! Nick just stop, you don't care. I know who I am, I know what I look like, and I know who you are and what you look like. I am not who you want Nick! We don't fit, we don't match! And even if you did care, even just a little bit, it doesn't matter, because after I tell you this, it's going to crush any feelings you could possibly have. It's only going to make me uglier, so just shut up. Just shut up…" I said, falling onto the couch opposite him.

Then they came.

All the tears gushing forth, and I folded my knees in front of my chest, sitting alone on the couch and crying. Alone, that's how it would always be for me. Ugly and alone. So I closed my eyes, rested my head on my knees, and cried.

Suddenly, I felt arms wrap around me.

Nick was pulling me to him. I fought blindly with him, not wanting to give in to my true feelings. I just wanted things to go wrong now, so they wouldn't go wrong later, and I wouldn't be left to pick up the pieces. But Nick didn't give up, he held tight to me until I was sitting on top of him as he sat on the couch. I wanted to get up, I wanted to leave so badly…but I couldn't bring myself to move. I cried into his neck, just letting all the feelings I had had over the past thirteen years pour out. I was angry…oh so angry.

Nick was whispering something to me, but I couldn't hear what he said. He held me close, refusing to let go as I wriggled and hit his chest. He just held me, whispering soothingly.

Finally, my sobs started to taper off. I didn't look at Nick; I just folded my hands and looked down at them as Nick rubbed my back. I didn't know what I felt either, it seemed like a mixture of shame and guilt and fear.

"Oh my God…" Nick whispered, squeezing me tightly and scooting me closer. He looked down at me, and for the first time, I met his eye.

His hair and shirt were ruffled from grabbing hold of me, his neck was damp from where I had sobbed, but his eyes were what caught my attention. His eyes were dull and broken and red. Nick had cried because of me…with me…for me. My jaw dropped a little as I brought a hand up to cup his cheek, wiping away at the tear streaks that remained.

"Sara…" he breathed, watching me intently with a look of pure despair on his face.

"You have no idea do you?" he asked in disbelief, "Sara, how could you think those things? Do you actually think that I would use you like that? I…You…Sara, you're the most beautiful person I've ever met, how could you think that I was just using you, that I don't even care? Forget caring…Sara, I love you!"

It took me a moment to process what he had said.

"What did you say?" I whispered, afraid to hear the answer for fear I might have heard wrong.

He smiled, wiping away the tears streaming down my face.

"I love you." He replied, and I smiled. Nick's lips came softly down to meet my own, and I greeted them with fervor. The kiss gained passion, and Nick's tongue met my lips, asking for entrance. I complied, exploring his mouth agonizingly slowly. I felt Nick's hand slide gently up my back, and I shivered with pleasure. The kiss faded away, and we broke off with smiles. I cupped his face with both my hands, tears flowing freely down my face.

"I love you too Nick, more than words can describe. I guess I was just…scared." I admitted, looking away as feelings of humiliation came creeping back. It was only when I felt Nick's hand glide through my hair that I met his eye. He smiled, and I felt tears run down my face.

"I'm so sorry…Nick I've been so stupid…I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't really. I think I just…I didn't believe that something good could happen in my life. Something as good as you has never, ever happened to me before. So all I could think about was the disappointment I would feel when you told me we were nothing but friends…I just love you so much." I cried, and he held me close to him. I relished in the heat of his body; it made me feel needed, wanted, and loved.

"Sara, its okay…don't cry…I forgive you…" he whispered gently, and I nodded, taking my head off his shoulder to look him in the eye.

"Nick…" I murmured, stroking his face with my fingers, "I have to tell you something. It's a story about a little girl who lived an unfortunate childhood. A little girl, whose name was Sara."

-

Many tears later, I finished telling Nick about my childhood. Kayla was right, Nick had cried. But more than that…he still loved me. As I told him about the crash, about my mother, and being taken away from her, he whispered gently, telling me how much he loved me.

Telling me how he would always love me.

I closed my eyes and rested against him as I clung tightly to his neck. One of his arms ran across my back as his hand rested on my hip, the other settled on my neck as I snaked one arm around and through it. I smiled, knowing that it was almost impossible for him to be any closer.

"Oh Sara…why didn't you tell me this before?" he asked, and I didn't try to hold back the tear that slipped down my cheek.

"I…I don't know…I wasn't comfortable talking to anyone…I just wanted to block out my problems, and telling you them would only make it all too real…I'm so sorry. Please don't think I don't trust you Nick, I trust you with everything I am, and that's part of what scared me." I whimpered, still too accustomed of being scared that Nick wouldn't love me to not add a plea for forgiveness. He smiled down at me before capturing my lips in a slow, sensuous way.

"Sara…please don't think I'm going to hate you because of what's happened in your past…that's just not fair to you and me…" he pleaded, and I nodded, smiling my first real smile in a few hours. He smiled too, and I kissed him softly.

"Thank you Sara," he said after a little while of sitting in comfortable silence, "for having the courage to tell me. It means the world to me that you trust me enough to tell me your best kept secret."

I nodded. "Couldn't have picked someone better."

-

Getting out of the shower, I towel dried my hair and slipped on a tee and a pair of shorts. I brush out my hair and blow it dry before leaving the bathroom.

I smile at the sight that greets me. Nick is lying on my bed, fast asleep. I put down my dirty clothes and sit beside his sleeping form.

As I think back to earlier today, I can't help but awe at this man. I never knew that someone could be so loving and understanding, certainly not a man. But here he was, in love with me.

I smiled. In love with me.

I'm not sure what came over me right then, but I acted on an impulse. I lay down next to Nick, and I felt him wrap his arms around my waist. My back faced his front, and I turned to look at his face.

"You smell nice." He said without opening his eyes, and I laughed a little.

"Thank you. Goodnight." I said, turning back around and closing my eyes.

"I love you." He said as his arms tightened around my waist, pulling me closer.

"I love you too." I smiled, snuggling into him and feeling truly at peace for the first time in thirteen years.

-

A baby note –

Again, sorry if this sounded cheesy, I'm still only fifteen.

I love people who review, so help me out here!

Story wise, I'm thinking this baby's gonna be about seventeen chapters total. But we'll see how that goes.

The

Notorious

Cat