Natsumi looked up in surprise when the little bell on the door tinkled. It wasn't that late, really, but there hadn't been a customer since the rain had started coming down. She herself was only there working on her homework because she was waiting for the Get Backers to return. Ban had promised to drive her home so that she would not have to brave the rain.
Whoever it was that Natsumi saw enter was holding a newspaper over her head and some bundled object tucked under her arm. Despite not being able to see the person's face, from the way they appeared she was certain she knew who it was.
"Ban-san and Ginji-san aren't going to be back until later, Hevn-san," Natsumi smiled. Akabane lifted the paper, enjoying the surprise on the girl's innocent young face. "Oh! I thought you were Hevn-san!"
"It is the chest, is it not?" he asked dryly, smiling at the girl. She looked as though she had no clue who he was, but he didn't blame her. They'd only met… what, two or three times? It wasn't as if they'd even really spoken before.
"You know Hevn-san? Are you a friend?"
"I am more of an associate." In a way, he was a client of hers, but that just didn't sound like the right word. He set his hat down on the table, laying it out so that it could dry flat without losing its shape. As he smoothed out the soggy brim, he sneezed. Then he sneezed again, and again, and again.
"You're soaked!" Natsumi cried, gentleness showing in her voice. Akabane rolled his eyes. Not again. Why did everyone seem so concerned with the status of his wetness?
The girl brought him towels from the back. He accepted her gesture, wiggling out of his trench coat and hanging it over a vent in hopes that the heat would at least reduce it from soaked to damp. He adjusted the remains of the white shirt so that it covered his chest as modestly as possible, considering that it was a wet white shirt and that the front buttons had been forcefully removed. He patted his face and neck dry with one of the towels.
There wasn't much he could do about his wet clothes except wait for them to dry out. It wasn't as if the Honky Tonk kept extra clothes about in case of emergencies. He wrapped his hair up in a towel to keep it from continuing to annoy him with cold drip-drip-drips down his back.
Natsumi turned around to make up the chai that he'd ordered. This was important to note because it meant that he didn't hear the doorbell ring over the sound of the milk frother. He also did not see the Get Backers enter, as he was busily watching Natsumi prepare his drink.
Ban grabbed Ginji and pulled his partner down behind a table, out of sight. "Watch me piss off Hevn," Ban whispered, eyes gleaming with mischief.
"I don't think you should, Ban-chan," Ginji chided in a whisper. Sometimes Ban's little jokes went too far. (1)
"You're a spoilsport. This will be fun," Ban insisted, sneaking around in a wide circle. It was really too bad that he wasn't paying closer attention to the girl at the counter; he might have noticed that bust size was where the similarities between the two ended. However, with his black hair tied up in a towel, Akabane did pose a slight passing semblance to her.
Ban crept very slowly up behind Akabane, hands twitching in a suggestive manner. Silently, without a word of warning, Ban sprang forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Akabane's chest, grabbing hold of the large breasts and squeezing hard. "You know better than to wear a white shirt in the rain!" he commented gleefully, expecting Hevn's usual backhand to his face to be the reaction. The backhand was well worth the price of the feel he got to cop, though.
Instead, Akabane reacted the way he usually did to being attacked from behind. Which is to say, he reacted much in the same way that a frightened porcupine would react. He swung his hand back, blades extended, until they struck the nearest fleshy object.
Now, take one moment to back way from this scene. Imagine Akabane sitting at a bar stool, his hands resting on the counter. Now imagine Ban creeping up behind him in such a way that he could grab an optimal hold on his chest. Then, imagine where Akabane's hand would land when it was whipped back off the counter and into his attacker's skin. Does not sound very pleasant, does it?
Ban let out a high-pitched sound, like a dog that had been kicked at the same time someone was letting all the air out of a bagpipe. Akabane, realizing the identity of his attacker, quickly withdrew his blades and jumped away from Ban in surprise. Ban, for his part, had doubled over in pain. His hands were clamped over the damage zone as he staggered backwards, whimpering. He finally landed on his side, giant tears forming in his big blue eyes.
"Ban-chan!" Ginji cried in alarm, running to assist his wounded partner. "What did you do to Ban-chan?" he shouted in anger, glaring up at Akabane. At that moment, however, Akabane's shirt was hanging completely open, and the bra was still as see-through as it had been on the day he'd bought it. Poor little Ginji's face turned as red as a tomato, a trickle of blood coming out of his nose. Realizing exactly why Ginji was suddenly bleeding, Akabane grabbed his shirt and pulled it back over his chest. Not that it helped, considering how as Ban had mentioned, it was a white shirt and it was completely soaked.
Ban reached up through his pain and grabbed Ginji by the ear. "I'm in pain!" he cried through his tears. "Don't look at her, get me some ice!"
Natsumi was already running with a bucket of ice. "I'm coming!" she cried. She wasn't paying attention, however, and slipped on the puddle of water that had dripped off of Akabane. She went down on her belly, the metal ice bucket flying up and into the air. Where it came down, well… it gave Akabane cause to repeat the mantra of 'I do believe in karma.'
By that time, the sounds coming out of Ban were no longer sounds anyone would associate with a human being. Ginji, frantic, pulled the heavy bucket off his partner and scooped the ice onto the wounded area. The outside of his pants had begun to turn red with blood.
"This isn't good," Ginji whimpered. "Ban-chan, you're bleeding… down there!"
"You think I don't know that?" Ban asked, voice twice as high pitched as usual.
By that point, Paul had heard the screaming and reappeared from the upstairs, where he'd been checking the power breakers for his computers. "What is going on down here?" he asked, voice thudding through the bar.
"She hurt Ban-chan!" Ginji cried, pointing an accusing finger at Akabane.
"It was his own fault," Akabane replied dully, causing Ginji to suddenly freeze in terror. That voice! He knew that voice! But that wasn't, that couldn't be, it shouldn't be, well it did kind of look vaguely like him… "He snuck up and grabbed my from behind. I was frightened and defended myself a little hastily."
Yes, that was definitely him. "Akabane-san?" Ginji squeaked in absolute terror, his voice rising up about as many octaves as Ban's.
Ban reached up and grabbed Ginji's ear. "Don't you dare turn tare yet," he sniffled. "I need a doctor!" He looked up at Akabane, who was still standing there with an overly smug smile on his face. "But NOT THAT ONE!" Ban declared angrily, pointing.
"Stop crying like a schoolboy and get over here," Paul demanded, grabbing Ban by the arm. Wounded, Ban cried out as he was forcibly dragged over and onto a table. It was the only booth in the bar with a privacy curtain, which Paul now took advantage of. It wasn't as if the booth offered any real privacy, however, as they could see Ban's legs dangling out from under the sheet with his pants and underwear around his ankles.
"Consider yourself a very lucky man, Midou Ban," Paul said dryly as he applied a stinging antiseptic to the wounds and some temporary bandages.
"LUCKY?" Ban shrieked in anger.
"Yes. If you'd been standing about two more centimeters to the right, you could give up all hope of ever having children. At any rate, you need to get someone to stitch this up," Paul said, giving his impromptu analysis.
Meanwhile, out in the main area, Ginji was curled up in a corner, tare and face absolutely white. "Is… is that really you under there, Akabane-san?"
"You mean you did not recognize me right away? I am hurt, Ginji-kun. Genuinely hurt."
Ginji shuddered, holding a towel defensively. "I finally get to see girl boobies, and they are… they are Akabane boobies," he wept, feeling rather miserable.
Fortunately, Paul emerged before Ginji could continue with that train of thought. "You should take him to see the old man in Infinite Castle. He has to get those wounds stitched." He looked at Akabane, who was raising his hand in a gesture indicating that he was volunteering to do the job. "And I don't think he wants it done by you."
Akabane lowered his hand. "I try to be nice," he sighed, shaking his head.
Paul snorted. "Ginji, can you get him there?"
"I… I can't drive Ban-chan's car," Ginji muttered, still tare. He couldn't drive any car, frankly. It cost more money than he had ever possessed at any time in his life to go through driving school.
"I can't drive it," Paul retorted in irritation. "Someone has to take Natsumi home now that you can't, anyway."
Akabane raised his hand in a gesture of volunteering once again. "I am NOT letting Jackal drive my car!" Ban snarled from behind the curtain.
"It's either that or you let him stitch you up," Paul grunted, sounding as if he didn't care which Ban picked. He looked back over at Akabane. "Or would it be… let her stitch you up?"
Akabane shrugged, not indicating a preference either way.
Ban growled. "The answer is no to both!"
"Well, we could take my car," Akabane mused. "Except that it was not exactly my car, so I did not pay the meter, and I believe it has since been towed."
"The answer," Ban snapped, "is still no!"
"You can't leave those wounds without stitches. The minute you try to walk they'll tear open again, and I know you can't afford an ambulance."
"I will not give that man my car keys!"
"You mean the keys I took from your pocket?" Paul asked, waving the keys in a disgruntled fashion.
Ban checked his pocket. "Give those back!" he shouted, angrily waving his arms as he remained hidden behind the curtain.
"Don't thrash around like that, you'll open the wounds back up." Paul handed the keys over to Akabane. "Stop acting like a child and let him drive."
"Ginji, get my keys!" Ban shouted. "Quickly!"
Ginji leaped forward to obediently snatch the keys from Akabane's hands… only for Akabane to take the keys and shove them down into the bra. Ginji stopped in mid-leap, crashing to the ground. "Ban-chaaaan," Ginji whined, waving his tare arms. "He put them down his shirt!" He paused. "Or would that be, she put them down her shirt?"
"I certainly did, Ginji-kun" Akabane smiled, holding his arms out in a friendly gesture. "If you want them, all you have to do is reach in and get them."
Blood started seeping from Ginji's nose again as his face turned a brilliant red. "I… I… I can't do that!" he stammered, his voice a terrified squeak. Akabane was disappointed by the lack of shock that his sudden sex change was having on Ban and Ginji. Then again, due to the circumstances surrounding Ban's wound, maybe they just hadn't had time for it to sink in yet. Yes, he bet they would be really shocked when the adrenaline wore off…
"I will go start the engine," Akabane smiled, grabbing his hat and coat and vanishing out of the small bar even as Ban's shrieks of protest echoed in his ears. Ginji ended up carrying a bandaged Ban out to the car and laying him in the back seat, despite the fact that Ban continued to loudly protest about the idea of Akabane driving. "He is very lively for a tragically wounded man, is he not?" Akabane asked, adjusting the seatbelt.
Ginji shoved himself as close to the window as he could, which meant as far away from Akabane as he could possibly be. "Nothing keeps Ban-chan down, Akabane-san," he whimpered.
Unfortunately, Akabane demonstrated that his ability to drive a stick shift in blinding rain was not exactly the greatest still he had. It also didn't help that every time they ran over any bump in the road or any time the car skidded a bit on the water, Ban would start screaming about his precious car. He'd fume and kick and demand to know what had happened, and if they'd scratched it. All the while, the red stain continued to grow.
Also unfortunately, Ban did not pass out from the exertion before they arrived as close to their destination as they could via car. Thus, they had to figure out how to lift and carry him without touching his rather 'sensitive' wound. Akabane and Ginji eventually ended up making a sling out of the blankets from Ban's car.
They carried the protesting, whining, thrashing Ban into the tall black towers of Infinite Castle. A couple of people gave them odd or threatening looks as they passed. The wounded were prime targets for attack or robbery, after all. Akabane would return their looks with a smile, and every last potential enemy backed down when he did.
Gen was a bit surprised to see them. Upon being told the nature of Ban's wounds, he immediately carted Ban off to the back. "You'd better use anesthetic!" was the last thing Ban threatened before Gen shut the bedside curtain, closing the two of them off from Ginji and Akabane.
Tare-Ginji sat nervously beside Akabane, shaking in silence. Akabane swung his legs and whistled. He'd always been a bit of a fidgety. Especially when he wasn't exactly bored, but he also had nothing else to do.
Ren appeared with two blue robes in her hands. Akabane lifted one, and then placed a finger on Ginji's tare nose. "Gin-ji-kun?" he asked, mimicking the sweet tone one of his exs had used when trying to convince him to do things. He leaned further over, his coat gaping. "Can you do me a liiiiitle favor?"
Ginji swallowed, hard, his face turning redder. "Ye-yes, A-Akabane-san?"
"Don't peak," Akabane smirked, turning around and pulling an examination curtain shut just enough that it left the temptation to peak wide open. Once inside the curtain, Akabane let a wide grin grace his lips. Ginji-kun had looked ready to mess in his pants.
By the time Akabane managed to get out of the wet clothes and into the robe, all the while musing about how everyone had been trying to get him out of clothes all night, Ginji had changed. He'd also moved two seats down, Akabane dutifully noted. He returned gracefully to the chair he'd originally been sitting in, if only to further mystify Ginji.
After a long, awkward moment of silence, Ginji spoke up. "So… Akabane-san… did it hurt?" he asked, shaking a little in fear.
"Did what hurt, Ginji-kun?" Akabane asked, smiling.
"The… uh… snipping," Ginji asked, making a gesture with one stubby tare-arm in the direction of his own groin.
"You misunderstand, Ginji-kun. I didn't have a surgery. Someone seems to have cast a spell on me. I was minding my business at a bar, and when I woke up the next morning, there they were. Of course, when I find the person responsible, I will remove their reproductive organs as a gesture of my gratitude for this." He paused. "Since Ban-kun knows many witches, I thought he might know the identity of my assailant."
Ginji shook so hard his seat seemed to vibrate. "It's scary how you can say all that and keep smiling, Akabane-san…"
Akabane's smiled widened, his eyes closing into happy Vs. "You really think so, Ginji-kun?"
Before Ginji could answer, Gen and Ren reappeared from the back room. They were assisting a rather loopy Ban, propped up between the two of them. "Ooooh shay can you schee, by the jagaaaan's early light!" Ban sang, his voice slurred like a drunk. If it had not been for the other two, he would not have been able to stay upright.
"He'll be out of it for awhile from the anesthetic," Gen explained, sitting Ban down next to Ginji. "Make sure he doesn't re-aggravate those wounds until they heal. I'll give you some painkilling pills to take home once he's stable enough to leave."
Ban wrapped his arms around Ginji's neck, smiling crookedly. "I like you, Ginji…" he purred, voice slurred.
Akabane put a hand over his mouth so that he wouldn't laugh out loud, shoulders trembling a bit from the humor of the situation. Ginji, blushing, frowned over at Akabane. "It's not funny, Akabane-san!" Ginji protested.
Akabane was about to reply that it was, indeed, funny, when the old man looked down at him. "Your turn," he said simply. The grin melted right off Akabane's feminine face.
"What do you mean by that? My turn? I am not the injured one."
"I was listening to you talk. You said you just happened to wake up female. Forgive me if I'm just a confused old man, but that kind of thing was generally not considered normal back in my day." He gestured to his daughter. "Ren will assist you. Perhaps we can figure out what happened with an examination."
Akabane had a very bad feeling in his throat, similar to the one he had gotten right when the girls the Venus Fly Trap. However, he did agree that it was possible that an examination might reveal what had happened to bring about the transformation.
All the way across Tokyo, the actual cause of the transformation re-entered her hotel room, carrying a bundle of shopping bags. The red-haired sister turned around, looking condescendingly at her green-haired sister. "You look like you had a good time out shopping, while I was here making the preparations for the spell."
The green-haired sister smiled back. "I was out making preparations for the spell, as well," she said, setting out two bottles of black hair dye.
The red-haired sister narrowed her eyes and her lips, until it looked as though three frowns graced her face. "What do those have to do with the spell?"
The green-haired sister just smiled in response.
---
(1) Normally, I hate in-chapter author's notes, but I felt obligated to point out that in the manga, Ban does love giving Hevn a big squeeze. She usually backhands him pretty good for it, though.