Author's Note: Like I said last chapter. This chapter's plot will be about the ever-so-influencial "AFFECTION LEVELS!" Bare with me, but since I don't have Word and spell check on my computer, there might be some spelling errors. If someone wants to spell check the chapters for me so there are none, just say so in your review. I'm gonna try and make this chapter better than the first....show me the "disclaimer"!

Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia or Crocodile Dundee.

OH CRAP! I almost forgot to reply to mah reviewers!

Ryu Warrior: Wow, I wasn't expecting my fic to be that funny. If you thought Chapter 1 was funny....well, you're right. Cause it was funny.

Rednal29: You're right, crazy is funny. ((inaudiable chatter)) ((ahem)) And I still have to get back at Regal! Maw ha ha ha ha!

destiny: To answer your question, Presea tipped it over on account that she felt safer with it like that.

DragonofDarkness18: I originally was gonna turn Genis into a kitten but I like ferrets better.

Koharu-Soma: You gonna love Kratos in this chapter....trust me.

The Zelda Master: A logical explaination of what's wrong with Raine is presented in this chapter. And I tell you, it's what I go for everytime I play through ToS.

crystaltears: Yes....it is funny....

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Chapter 2: You Can Test Affection, But It Won't End Well! (( a.k.a. Clinging Fury! ))

It was a happy-go-lucky da--

"Excuse me."

What? Kratos?! How'd you get here?

"I used my ability to appear out of nowhere." said Kratos, who's face was completely wrapped up in a 'face cast' due to Genis' ferret frenzy. "Anyway, you already used that opening."

I, of course, laugh at Kratos' misfortune. I'm sorry man, I just can't keep a straight face when I see Kratos, minus the face.

"Humph..." Kratos leaves.

((OK, let's try that again....))

It was a raining cats and dogs kind of day, except there was no rain. Well, there was Raine. But cats and dogs weren't falling from the sky either. That'd be weird, very very weird. Anyway, after searching for a week for Raine and Lloyd, they finally were found. Then they all returned to Iselia for no real reason aside for.....not having a reason. They all gathered in the school.

The ToS heroes minus Lloyd, who was sleeping in the corner of the room, stared at Raine. She just stared back at them. I think she was still a little loopy, 'cause she was smiling the whole time.

"What the do you think is wrong with her?" Colette asked, concerned for her crazy teacher.

"She was acting like this after the Washtub Race too, right before she made a run for it with Lloyd." Zelos pointed out.

"Is class over?" Lloyd mumbled in his sleep.

"Lloyd has been sleeping since we found them." Presea said, holding a ferret ((Genis)) in her arms.

"Ferret Ferret." ferreted Genis. ((Yeah, he's still a ferret.))

"Ferret Genis is right. We should ask the author." Sheena said.

Regal looked surpised. "The Author?! No, we can't do that." He claimed.

No, no, no, it's no trouble at all. I'm writing this aren't I? Of cousre I am! Oh and that guy named Steve. Say hi, Steve. Hello.

"Hi, Steve." Everyone said, besides Raine, Kratos and Lloyd.

Kratos stepped forward. "What is wrong with Raine?" he asked, trying to avoid anymore sidetracking.

Simple, Plaster Face, she's got a case of D.H.A or "Dangerously High Affection".

Colette, being the ditz that she is, spoke up, "Why are you all talking to the ceiling?"

"- -;;"

Kratos handed Colette a box of crayons. "Here, play with these." He said.

Colette took the crayons and squealed with glee, "X3 Yay!"

She then proceeded to gnaw on one of the crayons while she drawing on Lloyd's face happily.

"No, not homework." Lloyd mumbled.

Okay, guys I'm gonna explain what happened to Raine that made her like Zelos.

"Hey! How's she like me?! I don't kidnap, I seduce. There's no way that Raine's like me at all." Zelos argued.

Three words Zelos.... 'Concept of Wrestling'.

Zelos thought for a second, remembered what Non-Ferret Genis had told him. "Oh, you can't be serious."

I'm serious. When am I not serious? Wait, well, there was that one time....

-------------------Flashback-------------------

And so I says to the guy. Hey! You know what day it is? Tuesday! You get a free toaster!

Kratos has an afro and is wearing disco platform shoes. "That's awesome. I wanna toaster. What is a toaster, anyway?"

I have no idea whatsoever. I proceed to laugh my ass off.

-----------------End Flashback-------------------

"An afro?" Sheena asked.

"Styles change over time....deal with it." Kratos claimed, justifying his afro days, from under his face cast.

"A-Anyway, how do we fix Raine so she isn't creepy anymore?" Sheena asked, changing the subject.

Just lower her affection for Lloyd and she should go back to normal. That's why I prepared this special room. And so, the school just suddenly changed into a sort of police interagation room. The room they were standing in had two stools and the other room had a bunch of comfy seats and a one way window to watch what's going on.

Ok guys, one at a time you'll try and lower Raine's affection for Lloyd.

"So who's going to try first?" Regal asked.

Dull silence...

"How about Genis? He's Raine's brother after all." Zelos recommened.

"You forget that he is still a ferret." Presea pointed out.

"Ferret Ferret!" ferreted Genis.

Sheena nodded. "Yeah, Zelos, if you're such a ladies man than you do it." she said.

Zelos shrugged. "Alright alright, if my sweet voluptuous hunny wants me to, I guess I'll do it." he claimed, sitting on the stool next to Raine.

Everyone else went into the other room with the comfy seats while Zelos attempted to win over Raine. Raine just sat there with that creepy smile on her face. That must be one bewitching smile Raine has because when she turned her attention to Zelos, he went all googly eyed and just sat there staring at her for ten mintues or something.

"Hey Lover Boy! We're not asking you to stare at her, just go for it already!" Sheena yelled, getting sick of watchng the two people have a staring contest.

"I concur." Kratos said.

Unbeknowst to Kratos, but beknowst to us, Colette was drawing a smilie face on Kratos' face cast.

((It looks like this... :D ......................Wow.))

Everyone else held back their laughter except for Colette, who was stupid enough to sit down next to Kratos while laughing. You couldn't tell by looking at him, but his sanity was once again plummeting.

"Now you can be happy all of the time, Kratos! X3" Colette squealed.

"Urge to kill....rising....must stop...talking...like Captain Kirk." He thought to himself.

Dull silence....followed by...

"FOR FINLAND!!!!!!!!!" Kratos drew his sword and started blindly, literally, stabbing Colette.

Um, yeah, Kratos? You're stabbing a chair, an EXPENSIVE chair, mind you. Colette would be a bloody corpse by now if she hadn't found a shiny stone and jumped for it.

"No one touches the face! No one! Ever! Touches! Kratos! Face! And... um... and... and lives! Yeah!" Kratos yelled as he looked up at the ceiling, assuming that I must be God or something. I mean, Who's to say that I'm floating around up in the air? Hell, I could be underground, ya know? Or maybe I'm sitting next to you RIGHT NOW as you're reading this! Holy crap, that'd be weird. But, seriously, I'm the author so I'm EVERYWHERE!

This, of course, freaked the hell out of Regal. "Crikey! I can't escape! He's everywhere!!!" he yelled, putting on a 'Crocodile Dundee' hat.

Myeh heh heh heh heh... Anyway, back to Zelos, who had apparently tried all of his best pick-up lines. Raine was looking slightly agrivated as Zelos prepared to try one last time.

"Um, uh, hey Raine, I know why you're acting like this. You're just embarassed about me grabbing you ass, right?" Zelos said, with a wink.

((Oh boy, bad move Zelos... bad move.))

Raine remember that little incident as well. She turned to Zelos quickly and commenced the smack down. I'd put it in detail, but... OUCH! That's gotta hurt the reputation... yeah, it's too horrible. SO, skipping ahead about a half an hour, Zelos finally crawls from the room on the verge of death. But not really, I'm gonna avoid killing off the heroes... yeah, I know, I should've killed Colette but she is the only one that can drive even Kratos insane. Anyway...

"Geez, Zelos, the only thing you accomplished was lowering Raine's affection for you." Sheena grumbled.

"Not funny...." Zelos muttered before dying... I mean, being knocked out cold.

"Well, who should go try next?" Colette asked happily.

Everyone looked at each other... dull silence...

"Since no one else is capable of going in there, Sheena, you shall go." Kratos said, talking to the wall.

"What? I can't do it! I'm a girl!" Sheena protested, about to have a nervous breakdown.

Presea gave Sheena a plushie... of Lloyd. "Calm down, Sheena. Do it for Lloyd." she said, while holding a Genis plushie and Ferret Genis in her arms.

Sheena gnawed on the plushie's hair while looking frantically around the room.

"Now go in there and fix Raine." Kratos exclaimed, facing a different wall this time.

Sheena whined and reluctantly walked into the room with Raine. She sat down on the stool and looked at Raine, frightened. The one mistake she made was that she still had the Lloyd plushie. And since Raine has D.H.A. for Lloyd... well, let's just say, things are gonna get hectic.

"Raine, what're you looking a--" Sheena looked down at the Lloyd plushie. She quickly looked back at Raine. "Raine, no! This is mine! You can't have it! Stay away!" she yelled, about to cry for no reason.

Raine nudged her stool a little closer to Sheena's, and then lunged at her fiercely. They both fell to the floor and started fighting. No punches or kicks were pulled here, folks. And I'm recording every second of it. Heh heh, alriiiiiight.

"Hey there, Angelglory, whatcha watchin'? RAINE AND SHEENA! And you didn't tell me?!" Zelos yelled, suddenly appearing.

Zelos, I don't know how you got here but... w00t! Did you see that?! Wow, this is better than actual wrestling....not the metaphoric wrestling.

"Yeah you got that right. Uh, hey A.G., where is Lloyd anyway?" Zelos said.

O.O Oh gad, I didn't move Lloyd!

"What do you mean?" Zelos asked, scratching his head.

He's still in there with Raine and Sheena!!! Sound the alarms, prank call the hospital, we got a problem here!

As Raine was about to pry the Lloyd plushie from Sheena's hands, Sheena shouted, "WAIT! We can share him! That way everyone is happy... well, mostly us."

Raine stopped pulling and just stared at Sheena for several minutes.

((Meanwhile...))

"What the hell is Raine doing?" Zelos asked, watching Raine. "Well, whatever she's doing, she has a great ass no matter what."

Son of a spoon, Zelos, I did NOT see this coming.

"What?"

Raine's Affection Level for Sheena...it's going up... a lot. Almost as high as Lloyd's.

Zelos spazzed out onto the non-existant floor.

Raine then, after blinking a few times and emitting a overly-happy smile, wrapped her arms around Sheena and hugged her tightly. "AH! What's going on?! Help! Please spare me!" Sheena yelled as she tried to break free of Raine's clinging fury. ((I just noticed that Raine has not said one thing this entire chapter... UNTIL NOW!))

"Awwww, don't be sad, I'll pay attention to you, too, sweetie. I love you and Lloyd equally, I swear." Raine said, happily.

"Nooooo... it's my lunchtime. Please don't take it away." Lloyd whined in his sleep.

Raine sat up, and looked to the corner of the room slowly. There was Lloyd, sleeping like a baby.

"There you are!" Raine exclaimed.

She smiled, hopped off of Sheena and ran over to Lloyd. Sheena immediately grabbed her Lloyd plushie and ran out the door. She closed the door behind her and sighed in relief as she was safe from Raine now.

"Ferret Ferret?!" ferreted Genis.

"Yeah, I'm alright now. Thanks for asking." Sheena said, catching her breath.

"It appears that you suceeded in saving Lloyd by lowering Raine's Affection Level for him." Presea stated.

Sheena gasped in horror, "Oh no! Lloyd! I left him in there!"

"I'll be good! I swear!" Lloyd yelled sleepily from the next room.

O.O;;

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Yeah, that just went straight to Hell. I still haven't gotten revenge on Regal!!!! And Genis is still a ferret, but Presea seems to enjoy it so...eh, another chapter of Ferret Genis won't hurt will it? Kratos' pretty face will return next chapter. But, first I have to come up with an idea for chapter 3. This may take awhile.... - -;;