Accompaniment: Nothing They Could Do
She wasn't jealous and that struck her as strange. She'd always been a bit of a jealous woman. In fact, she'd have to admit to a pretty large jealous streak. Of course, it wasn't him that was on a date. It was Cloud. Even though she wasn't getting what she wanted, it wasn't Yuffie or Aeris that was in her way.
She was starting to think that she didn't really love Cloud. That bothered her because she should have. It wasn't smart to love someone like… him. It wasn't smart, it wasn't right, and it certainly was the reason Tifa Lockheart was wondering the Gold Saucer alone.
She heard him behind her. His voice rang out deep and clear. He called her name, but she didn't turn around. She couldn't. What would AVALANCHE think? What would ShinRa do? She should have run, but she didn't really want to. He wasn't going to let her ignore him either. No, not him.
"Tifa, I know you hear me!" Then she felt his hand over her wrist. It was a firmer grip than he had used in the past; it pulled her to a halt. She half-heartedly attempted to jerk her arm out of his hand. She would have tried harder, but the feeling of those fingerless gloves was too familiar. He pulled her around. "I jus wanna talk a minute."
"Reno, leave me alone." She wanted to snap at him, to scream at his face, but the moment she turned around she couldn't. Damn those blue eyes of his. She had to make an effort to yank her arm back from his grip. "No talking. Go away, Reno." Her wrist felt warm still, urging her to cover it with her other hand as she turned down the next hall.
"Damnit!" He cursed, pulling her shoulder and casting her back against the wall.
Even though his hands smacked loudly on either side of her head, Tifa knew he wouldn't hurt her. She glared up at him, pressing her arms against the wall in an effort not to touch him. She could smell the beer on his breath, no wonder he was being so bold. "You're drunk."
"Yeah, I am." He never had been much of a liar, at least, not to her. "Tifa, I can't do this. I love you, Tifa."
They were silent then. She tried to ignore the way those words made her feel. Tifa wanted to pretend that she wasn't happy to hear them. She wished that she could make the way he made her feel go away. It was too good a feeling, far too right to come from him. She was supposed to feel that way about a hero, not a murder. Still, Tifa didn't fight him. Lowly and slowly, to both him and herself, she responded. "There isn't anything we can do about that now, Reno. It's too late."
He leaned nearer and she didn't do anything to stop him. "Why? Who says that? This can't go on forever." He still moved closer, his mouth against her ear. One hand found that place on her hip, the one he knew by heart would make her shiver. "Tell me you don't love me, I'll leave you alone."
Eyes closed and Tifa almost forgot why she'd left him those months ago. She almost forgot slapping him, calling him a coward; but she couldn't forget Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie. Sidestepping, Tifa freed herself from his touch. He hadn't been trying to hold her, but he hadn't expected her to move. Staggering against the wall a moment, Reno then turned to look at her. He was waiting for Tifa to tell him that she didn't love him. She opened her mouth to say those very words, but what came out wasn't that at all. "I- I wish it wasn't like this, Reno…"
"It doesn't have to be." He started, almost reaching out to her again but halting, pulling his cigarettes from his jacket.
She watched him smoke a few minutes, maybe she was lulled by how normal it felt to be near him, she had to ask. "How's Trigger?"
She saw the Turk in him rise back to the surface. Reno's eyes flashed at her and his mouth tightened around the cigarette. He took a long drag before taking it out and speaking in a cloud of smoke. "Oh, the woman that adopted her and was her mother for five years just walked off and left her without so much as a 'tough shit kid' she's perfectly fine."
She gasped at his tone, her mouth hung open. Reno knew how much she loved Trigger. He knew, and still he acted like she'd just closed a book on them both and walked away. Now it was easy to scream at him. "how dare you use her to guilt me! You think I haven't wanted to call her? This isn't her fault and it never was! God, I never thought you'd do something this low. How fucking dare you?"
"Don't you gods damned shout at me Tifa! You up and fucking left, not so much as asking me for an explanation and now you have the audacity to accuse me of using my daughter? I'd never, not for anything in this world, and that includes you, use her!" He glared at her, the cigarette thrown down the hallway. "You know what? Fuck you."
"You were fucking everyone but me! That was part of the problem!" The moment she said it, Tifa regretted it. Reno backed up from her, eyes wide as if she'd slapped him. He started to turn from her. "Wait, Re, I didn't mean that Re."
"No…" He wouldn't look at her anymore. "No, you did."
"Re, I-" she lost him. Right there, she lost him and all she could do was watch him start away.
He stopped, just short of stepping back into a more crowded part of the Saucer. "If you ever dig out the woman I fell in love with, I really do miss her." And like that, he was gone.
Tifa fell against the wall, fighting tears. She would have given anything to have Reno hold her one more time. Why had she just pushed him away?
AN: This is dedicated with love to one of the nicest people I've come across online, Tijuana Pirate. She's a wonderful person and writer; her sheer excitement over my stories has kept me writing through the blockage and working to do the best I can. I know it's sad, but I hope that you like it anyway, T Pirate!
