Author's Note: This chapter is kinda like a "watching our family vacation" chapter. Or another episode of Cheaters. You decide. Okay! Take it away Disclaimer!
Disclaimer: Angelglory does not own anything appearing in the chapter. He does own all of the appearing songs in this fic AND he does have a picture of Professor Raine when she's sleeping…
Author's Note: No, I don't! (nervous laugh, grabbing the picture) You saw nothing!
Disclaimer: Tell that to her.
(Raine stands behind me…looking very pissed.)
Author's Note: …meep…
(pain ensues…)
Now, time to (ouch) reply to mah (ouch) reviewahs (ouchies!):
Streek-has-returned471: I'll think about that…Avini: O.O Hey! I need Yuan for the fic. Come back! (chases)
DeadEdBoy: This chapter should humor you.
Zelda's Fox 38: I'm not sure myself where I got those lyrics from. The song is mine though. All songs appearing in this fic belong to me!
Gcn-Sayian-Elite: Your waiting is over!
treekicker: GAZEBO!
The Zelda Master: Don't think that was the end of Motel and Butter Pants! Ahahaha!
ryuu-nin: At least YOU got the "wrestling" joke. Look for more of that kinda stuff…maybe.
person: I feel bad for that first Flutterby…(sob) Getting squashed like that…
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHChapter 7: All's Fair In Loving Lloyd ((a.k.a. Family Movies))
It was a "go outside and take your pants off" kinda day. Luckily for us, the ToS heroes stayed inside today. The only reason that was though was because it was that kinda day inside where you sit around and watch movies. Sure, the ToS heroes don't have movies. BUT, they got those pellet things! Put 'em together with one of those projector things and you got yourself home movies!
Our heroes are at Lloyd's house, sitting on a huge couch in front of the projector.
"Home movies, goodie!" Colette squealed.
"I hope there's a lot of chicks in this. I need my daily dosage of babes." Zelos said, sitting on the left arm of the couch. "And why don't I get to sit on the couch with you guys?"
"You're very untrustworthy in the dark. We're doing this for everyone's sake." Kratos replied, reluctantly sitting next to Zelos.
Genis rolled his eyes and sighed. "Can we get on with this? I'm getting bored staring at just a blank screen." He complained.
"AHEM," Regal began, "If you're all ready, I would like to start the first round of Pellets."
"What's up first?" Lloyd asked excitedly. "I've never seen a movie before."
"None of us have." Raine remarked, scratching Lloyd behind the ear.
"X3 Meow…" Lloyd purred, curling into a ball on the floor in front of the couch.
"I believe the first Pellet is from when we competed in the Washtub race." Presea commented.
"Go ahead and play it. This should good." Sheena said aloud.
Presea inserted the Pellet into the projector and the movie started…sorta.
"Please silence your cell phones. In case of fire use the nearest fire exit. Please help keep our theater clean by disposing trash in the trash containers. We hope you enjoy your stay at Regal Entertainment Cinema. The feature presentation will begin after the following preview." Said a voice.
Dull silence "…"
"Regal Entertainment Cinema?" Genis asked, looking towards Regal.
Regal just shrugged. "Don't ask me." He stated.
"COMING THIS SUMMER…" The ToS heroes jumped as the booming voice from last chapter yelled, "ONE MAN, ONE WAY, ONE DESIRE."
Zelos appears on the projector. "HE KNEW TOO MUCH!" yelled the voice.
"I know too much!" Projector Zelos yelled.
"HE WENT TOO FAR!" shouted the voice.
"I went too far!" shouted Projector Zelos.
"THOSE ARE MY LINES!" claimed the voice.
"Those are his lines." Projector Zelos claimed.
"ZELOS THE MOVIE! COMING THIS SUMMER TO A PROJECTOR NEAR YOU! Film may be unsuitable for Sheena." The voice announced.
"Thanks for making me look so good." Zelos exclaimed, a big grin painted on his face.
"Oh brother…" Sheena grumbled.
Kratos spoke up, "Quiet, the movie is starting."
The projector screen flickered for a second then the words, "Our Appearance In The Washtub Race," appeared.
"Wait, how did we film this if we were all competing?" Genis asked curiously.
The words, "Filmed by a seagull," appeared onscreen.
"So that's where my Pellet went!" Lloyd exclaimed.
The film opened with the very beginning of the race, where the unimportant people exploded. Lloyd stared at the screen with amusement. "Yay, Fireworks!" he squeaked.
Raine patted Lloyd on the head. "Yes, puppy, fireworks." She said in a reassuring manner.
The seagull then panned over to Projector Sheena summoning Undine. The summon-powered washtub began passing Regal's 'Australian'.
Regal made shifty-eyes. "I love this part," he said to himself as he watched on.
Projector Regal held up a bag of food and then began throwing fattening foods at the summoner. "Fattening Foods!" cried Projector Regal.
Projector Sheena screamed bloody murder as she fell into the ocean. It was followed by a laughed that sounded…kinda weird. Kinda like…
"I-Is the seagull laughing at me?" Sheena shouted, standing up from her spot on the couch.
Everyone else burst into laughter shortly afterwards, except Kratos obviously. "Shut up!" The enraged summoner wailed.
The seagull then flew to Zelos and Genis. They were already talking about, if you remember, you know what.
"You have any crazy stories? Come on, you gotta at least have one." Projector Zelos nagged.
Projector Genis looked around to see if Lloyd and Raine's tub was in sight. All clear! "Raine told me never to tell anyone about this for some reason, especially you, but as long as you don't say anything I guess it's okay." Projector Genis remarked.
Projector Zelos became instantly interested. "Oh? Do tell... I love hearing secrets that I shouldn't be hearing." he claimed, making shifty eyes afterwards.
"Ok, a few weeks ago...Raine taught me how to wrestle." Projector Genis announced.
"..."
"That's it?" Projector Zelos asked, disappointed.
"Yep, that's all. I don't know what the big deal is anyway." Projector Genis said.
"Well, that's a real let down. I thought it'd give me something to thi--" Projector Zelos stopped talking and his jaw immediately dropped. He got it now.
He looked at Projector Genis with an angry expression on his face. "You magnificent bastard..." he said before rowing ahead vigorously.
Projector Genis just blinked in confusion as Projector Zelos very very very very slowly advanced. I mean, he was going pretty slowly. Projector Genis wasn't even rowing and he still passed Projector Zelos.
"I still don't get it." Genis admitted then was immediately smacked in the face by Raine's staff.
Everyone else just sat in silence, contemplating of what the just saw on the screen, Lloyd and Colette were just confused. Things only got worse, the seagull went to Lloyd and Raine's tub.
((Getting tired of typing Projector, so…))
"Is something wrong, Professor Sage?" Lloyd asked nervously. "You've been staring at me for the past hour."
"You've grown up, Lloyd." was her only reply.
Lloyd blinked in utter confusion. "What? What're you talking about? Are you sea sick or something?" He asked, slightly blushing at Raine's odd stares.
Raine suddenly looked shocked as she pointed behind Lloyd. "Lloyd, look, AIR!" She shouted.
Lloyd, being the doofus that he is, turned to look. "What! Where? I can't see it!" He shouted. ((- -;;))
"I'll have you know, I found some air in Flanoir." Lloyd boasted.
"Shh!"
"Sorry…" he mumbled.
Raine kicked Lloyd overboard in a sarcastic fashion. "Oops." Lloyd went hurdling into the freezing cold water. He frantically climbed back into the washtub as fast as he had fallen out.
"C-Cold, very cold." Lloyd mumbled over and over as he shivered on the tub floor.
Raine just stared down at Lloyd for a few moments. Then she looked out across the ocean to see if anyone or, more importantly, Zelos was nearby. All clear! It seems as if Raine's maternal instincts were suddenly revved up or whatever, because she immediately pulled Lloyd's shivering body into a tight hug.
"Aww, poor Lloyd." She exclaimed.
"P-Professor, are you feeling alright?" Lloyd asked, in between shivering.
"Whenever I'm out at sea, I feel... um... let's say, 'clingy'." Raine responded, with a freaky smile.
"Professor Sage, you're making me feel funny." Lloyd complained, struggling to break free of Raine's clutches.
Zelos gave Lloyd an odd glance from across the couch. "Well, she did. My pants felt weird when the Professor hugged me." Lloyd admitted.
Zelos just shook his head and laughed, then looked back to the movie.
"Shh, everything's alright." Raine said, shushing Lloyd.
"H-Hey, I'm not a little kid! I-I'm all grown up!" Lloyd said, protesting/whining.
"Be quiet or there'll be no PE for you." Raine said sternly.
Lloyd's whole school life revolved around PE, Art and Lunchtime. The thought of missing one of those subjects crushed him. He whined, on the verge of crying like a little kid, and gave in to Raine's mother-like wrath.
"I-I'll be good." Lloyd mumbled.
"If you're good, I'll teach you how to wrestle." Raine remarked.
Lloyd's eyes bugged out of his head. "O.O;;"
Regal quickly took out the Pellet to avoid scarring the children.
Genis quickly jumped up from the couch and pointed at Raine. "You taught him too! What the hell!" he yelled.
"Next Pellet! Next Pellet!" Regal shouted, in a panic.
Kratos just sighed and shook his head. "Please…"
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Meanwhile, the villains were back in that room with that one frikkin' light. At least they're installing some more now.
"Magnolia, Caviar, go ahead and spin the ladder." Forcystus demanded.
The other two Grand Cardinals grabbed unto the ladder and started running in a circle. Forcystus held the light bulb in place as it screwed in. "Ok, that's good! Now we have two lights!" He cheered.
Martel just sat off in the corner, watching her minion's stupidity. "Morons, they only need one person to hold the ladder." She grumbled. "Wait…"
Ladder? Light bulb? Spinning? One? Person? I've got it!
"ALL RIGHT, everyone pay attention! I have our next evil plan!"
Mithos paid no attention. "What is it then?" he asked, not looking up from his Gameboy Advance. (How'd that get in there?)
"No time to explain! QUICKLY NOW, TO THE FONZMOBILE!" Martel shouted with glee.
Batman style, the Fonz flies at your computer screen then flies backwards all the while saying, "Eyyy!"
The cast o' villains stood in front of a tiny car. I mean, it was pretty damn small.
"That's a niiiiiiiiice model." Rodyle commented.
Martel shook her head and laughed. "Who said it was a model?"
"This is the Fonzmobile? VeRMIn!" asked Magnius.
"Of course! Now get in." Martel ordered reassuringly.
"But I don't think…" began Kvar.
Martel bitch slapped Kvar and glared at him. "I SAID GET IN." she said with a satanic voice.
Somehow, someway, they got in….
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBack with our ToS heroes, things had calmed down. Everyone was enjoying the Pellet movies and nothing was going wrong…until…
"Uh oh." Presea said. "This is the last Pellet. It doesn't have a name on it." She commented.
Zelos just shrugged, took the Pellet from Presea and looked at it. "How cares? Let's play it!" he exclaimed joyfully.
The red-haired chosen slam-dunked the Pellet into the projector and the movie started…with yet another preview.
"COMING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON!" shouted the voice. "HOW GENIS STOLE CHRISTMAS! STARRING GENIS AND MUCH BELOVED ITALIAN GENIS. AND A HEARTWARMING APPEARANCE BY FERRET GENIS."
Dull silence. "…"
"Oh…Holy Jesus Jinkies! No one was supposed to know about that!" Genis whined.
"Shh, the movie's starting!" Colette squealed.
"That One Week Where Lloyd and I Were Alone." Appeared on the screen.
Raine's mouth dropped open, no one noticed though.
"Who? Was it you Sheena?" Zelos asked with a smirk.
"No, I don't film things like that." Sheena admitted.
"Filmed by Raine Sage." Appeared onscreen.
The ToS heroes all turned to the guilty half elf. Except Lloyd, he just said, "I don't remember that."
"Must… destroy… evidence!" Raine shouted, leaping from the couch and attempting to destroyed the projector.
Kratos grabbed Raine by the arm to stop her rampage. "I wouldn't do that. I'll need to see this before I go lock myself in the bathroom." He said.
For some reason or another Raine stopped and sighed, sitting back down on the couch. What logic Kratos had behind his words, we may never know.
And so the movie started…
First to appear onscreen was Lloyd, still tied up. He was awake and such, as he sang to himself, "I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah. You're a Goofy Goober, yeah. We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah."
"Lloyd, remember what I said? You have to be good or no PE!" Raine shouted as she walked on screen. Only the lower half of her body could be seen. You could tell it was her, since her ass was so magnificent. Oh man, I wanna just grab it again and… Zelos, get outta here! Heh, sorry about that. Anyway…
Lloyd whined. "Sorry, Professor Sage," He mumbled.
Raine's horribly colored orange-brown jacket fell onto the ground. "The first step to wrestling, stay calm no matter what. It's alright to be caught up in the moment, just don't get carried away." She said.
Sheena tried to hold in her laughter. "Wow, Raine, you're a lot like Zelos." She said slyly.
"Quiet Squishy!" Raine yelled angrily before turning back to the movie.
"Professor, how can I wrestle if I'm tied up like this? Don't you need to be able to use your hands?" Lloyd asked as he shifted in his spot on the ground.
"You just watch and learn, Lloyd Irving. Now brace yourself." Raine said, standing in front of Lloyd, as she dropped her white undershirt on the ground.
"OKAY! Movie over!" Raine said, pulling the Pellet out of the projector.
"Aww, I wanted to see more!" Zelos complained.
Raine finally couldn't take it anymore and gave Zelos a swift kick in the…Ouch.
"I still don't get it!" Genis whined.
The Professor grabbed onto Lloyd's leash an pulled him along as she said, "And you never will! Come on, puppy."
The two left leaving everyone else to his or her own thoughts, well, almost everyone. Kratos slipped away into the bathroom, locking the door.
"I never knew my son was so lucky." He mumbled.
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHI just got one question to ask. What the hell is wrong with me? I think I'm a little desperate. R 'n' R Please. Thanks!
Author's Note: Okay listen up folks. I've got something else to say. I have another ToS fic up called "Lost Soul Complex". It's a very serious fic, aside from Zelos humor, and I need people to review it. If you all don't like serious fics then you don't have to read it. But if you wanna give it a go, you can find it in my profile. PLEASE REVIEW IT! I NEED TO KNOW IF PEOPLE LIKE IT OR NOT!