Chapter 11

"Tell me that's not what I think it is," Toby said quietly as he stood in CJ's office watching CNN.

She looked up from her desk to the television. "What? I don't see…oh shit. That's what you think it is," she said defeatedly.

They watched in the corner of the screen, behind what the camera was focusing on at what looked like Matt Santos restraining or maybe attacking Donna. "What the hell are they doing back there?" he asked himself quietly and without surprise.

CJ stood and walked over next to him, still looking at the television. "When do you brief again?" They watched the television as two police officers came over to them, but they were too far out of focus to see what was going on.

He looked at his watch. "Five minutes."

"Have an answer. You know it's going to come up."

"Have an answer?" He looked up at her with near disgust on his face and then looked back at the TV. "No, 'Oh God, what if she gets hurt?' Just 'have an answer?' What the hell?" On the television, the congressman and Donna walked away from the police together, but he couldn't tell where they were going.

She looked at him, hardness in her eyes that could only come from the stress and hours of her new job. A job she hated, really, but that the President had asked her to do. A job Leo had done absolutely flawlessly, that made her feel like she was selling her soul to do even half as well as he'd done. A job that had to be done using mind only, no heart. He was telling the truth; the only thing she thought was that there needed to be an answer to the press. Even when she was press secretary, that hadn't always been her first objective. Still, that was her job, and she had to be emotionless to get it done, so she was. There were no other options. "It wasn't the focus on the camera. Maybe we'll luck out and no one will have seen it," she said, ignoring his question.

He stared at her for another few seconds and then turned to leave. As he opened the door, CJ spoke again. "See if you can get in touch with him. He needs to get out of there. He doesn't need to be seen on television restraining a woman."

"He was keeping her from going after Josh," he said quietly, still looking at the door.

"Of course, but no one else knows that. He has a candidacy to think about."

"I'm sure his candidacy's the last thing on his mind right now."

"That's going to be to his detriment," she said, picking up a file and opening it.

"See, I was thinking that's going to be to his advantage," he said before leaving.

zzzzzzzzzzzzz

He held her waist and elbow the entire way back to where the barricades separated the bystanders from the fighters, the families from the victims, the safe from the unsafe. He didn't look at her as they walked at a hurried pace, but his grip stayed tight, preventing her from doing something stupid. Something else stupid, he thought while shaking his head. He didn't blame her. He was pissed as hell, but he didn't blame her. It was his fault, really. He never should've brought her back there. Josh told him, warned him. "She's gonna try to get you to come back here and get me. Ignore her and get her the hell out of here." Maybe this was what he needed to see just how smart Josh was.

She kept her head high as they walked. She was a fighter, this one. Even as he wanted to strangle her with his bare hands, he wanted to applaud her. He almost laughed to himself wondering if Russell knew her loyalties were to Josh first, second…last. He wondered why she hadn't been working for them this entire time and figured they probably didn't like to mix business with their relationship.

When they got to Ned, he pulled back the barricade, letting her pass, and only then did he let go of her. He knew what he should do; what the smart thing to do would be. He needed to tell Ned to take her back to the hotel. Not that she'd voluntarily leave with him. What was he gonna do? Tie her up and gag her, then drag her kicking to the minivan. Yeah, that'd go over well.

Instead, he looked at her, at the spirit in her red, swollen eyes and found himself saying, "If you take even one step…"

"What's going on?" Ned yelled. Matt just shook his head.

"Can we go wait by the ambulances?" she yelled to him.

He shook his head. "No!" he yelled adamantly.

"Please?" she asked, new tears brimming in her eyes.

"I don't trust you," he screamed.

"I promise…"

"You promised before," he yelled, cutting her off.

She started shaking. "You don't understand!"

"I do. I know you're upset! But you've got…"

She cut him off. "No," she screamed. "How could you understand? You don't know! You don't know! It's my job! It's my job to be there! He only gets hurt when I'm not there! He needs me! I have to be there! I have to be with him! He'll be ok if I can just get to him! He's always ok when I'm there! I need to be there! Please! Please!" She begged him, crying, shaking, taking ragged breaths.

"Donna…"

"Tie me up! Hold me down! Cuff me to something! I don't care! I just…" she stopped and tried to get control of her breath. "I need to be there. I have to be."

He looked at her, then at Ned, and then back at her. Here she stood, not fifty feet from a riot, people fighting, people being killed, noise like he'd never heard before, the chaos of police and FBI running around, people being cuffed and led away, and she was only worried about only one thing in the world. He always thought he was the luckiest man in the world; it appeared Josh was a lucky man too. Still, he wondered, how did he ever say no to her?

"We're going to be on either side of you. One step, Donna. One step and I'll have them restrain you. Tell me you understand that."

Her eyes lit up with hope and she nodded. "I understand."

"Tell me you understand that Josh wants you safe."

She nodded again. "I understand Josh wants me safe," she yelled.

He took a deep breath. This was a bad idea. "Let's go," he said to both of them, holding the barricade for her once again and then taking her by the elbow and walking them over to the ambulance area, him on her left, Ned on her right.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

They'd only gone about ten feet when he felt the officer pass out, as his entire body slumped towards the ground and the gun fell out of his hand. Josh managed to lay him down without dropping him, then knelt down and looked at him.

As he sat there, he knew he didn't have the strength to carry the man, but he'd have to try. He didn't see any police officers nearby, and although he could see the top of an ambulance not too far away, it was through an angry mob of people and there was no way they'd hear him yelling for them. If he could leave the officer there and get through and to the police that had to be near that ambulance, they could come and get him.

But he couldn't and he knew it. He wasn't offering much protection to the unconscious man in the shape he was in, but leaving him alone would be like offering him up to these people as some sort of sacrifice. His mind drifted to the other officer, the one whose blood was on Josh's hands. He couldn't let that happen to this man.

He took a deep breath, wiped sweat and blood out of his eyes, and leaned over to pick him up. He took him by the shoulders and started pulling, but couldn't even lift him to a sitting up position. He rested for a minute and tried again; nothing.

Maybe he could drag him, he thought, and pushed off his knee with his hand, helping himself stand upright. He walked to the man's head and tried tugging on his shoulders, but he was too weak. He literally had no strength left in him at all.

He leaned over, propping his hands on his knees while blood from his forehead dripped onto the ground again, and noticed the walkie-talkie on the officer's belt. He'd have to call for help. But just as he reached for it, he felt something shoved into his neck and heard someone shout into his ear, "Don't move!"

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

She was watching towards the pavilion, in her own world of blame and fear. She could feel his eyes on her, and she couldn't blame him for being suspicious. Trying to get to the pavilion was stupid and dangerous and everything Josh had tried to avoid. Josh…bleeding and unconscious with paramedics on their way to get him.

She thought back to Roslyn. Thought back to the thirty seven hours she spent at the hospital before going home for a shower and a change of clothes. How many times had she blamed herself that day? How many times had she told herself she should've been there? If she were there she would've kept him on track, he wouldn't have been behind the others. That was her job, and she hadn't been there to do it. And because of that, he'd gotten hurt. Because of that, he'd almost died. How many times had she told herself she'd never leave him like that again?

But she had. She'd looked him in the eyes and said, 'I quit.' She'd left him and he'd fallen behind again, not getting into the minivan when he should've. Because she wasn't there to keep him in line. And now he was hurt again. And it was her fault.

The congressman's grip tightened on her arm and she came out of the daze she was in and looked in the direction he was looking. There they were. Three police officers and two paramedics carrying a gurney with Josh on it. They were quite a distance from them, but she knew it was him, she could see his suite coat. His dark blue one, her favorite; the one that made her stomach flutter just over an hour ago when he'd breezed into the pavilion like he owned it.

She took a step forward and the congressman's grip tightened even more. She tugged on her arm a little and put an arm around her waist, holding her closely to him. "No!" he yelled in her ear.

"I just need…"

"Wait till they're closer," he yelled again.

She watched as they continued through the crowd, moving as quickly as possible through the last of the people between them and the ambulances, and she tried pulling out of the congressman's grip again. "He needs me," she yelled, trying to get loose.

"Let them work, Donna!" he yelled, and she paused. Let them work.

She stopped struggling and continued watching; standing on her tiptoes and trying to look around the officer blocking her view of Josh's face. He stopped for a second to move the barricade and she caught barely a glimpse of him, choking on her own breath as she saw nothing but blood.

"Oh my…" she trailed off and started pulling again. The congressman must've seen what she saw, must've been taken back, because he suddenly let go of her and when she started running, he didn't even try to stop her.

She ran as fast as she could, getting to the ambulance just as they pushed him inside. The paramedics jumped in with him, and she grabbed onto the door and tried to do the same, but someone grabbed her by the waist and pulled her loose from the door just as the paramedics shut it and the ambulance pulled out of the park, turned on it's sirens, and started driving down the street.

"Wait," she screamed, trying to pull herself away from the person holding her. She looked down and saw the congressman's hands around her waist and clawed at them, screaming, "Let go of me!"

He held on to her for several more seconds and then let her go, turning without even speaking to her and walked up to the police officers who had gone in to get Josh. "Excuse me," he yelled.

One of the officers looked at him. "Where did they take that man?" he asked loudly.

The officer looked at him for a moment. "Why?"

He looked back at Donna, whose head was buried in Ned's chest. "She's…we need to get to him."

The man nodded. "Skyline."

"Thank you," Matt said, turning to go.

"Sir," the man yelled, grabbing his elbow. He turned around and looked at him. "You might want to prepare her. It's bad." The officer paused and looked over at Donna before meeting Matt's eyes again. "He probably won't make it to the hospital."