A/N:Sorry this one has taken a while. I've had a ton of trouble with it, mainly bease I couldn't decide if the time was right for Sam to tell or not. I actually have two versions of this chapter written, one where she tells and one where she doesn't. I like both, although the one where she doesn't does have a sweet little Sam/Jack moment, wait, that's the whole chapter. But my little sister, and unofficial beta, liked this version, after she changed her mind on me. I do have to put a warning on it though. I known in the last chapter I said it would be getting darker for a little while, but, I'm saying it again. Also this chapter has the mention of rape, nothing graphic, I used mention it, so if you feel that you aren't old enough to handle it, or if you think you might be offended, you've been warned. I will also say that I have no clue when I will post Chapter 12. One I haven't written it, been stressing about his chapter to much to write a new one, and on Wednesday I get 4 wisdom teeth pulled, and anything that they give you general and local anesthesia for as well as vicadian for is not conductive to writing. So I will post again when able, but don't be surprised if it takes a while.

Remember, please review. Reviews make me happy.

Chapter 11

What Happened at Lackland

Sam pulled up in Jack's driveway ten minutes later. As she walked to the front door, she saw Jack waiting for her on the front porch. "Hey Carter, what's wrong?" he asked when she was close enough to hear his quiet voice.

"Nothing, sir. I just needed to clear my head." Her voice gave away her nervousness, she wasn't babbling, but she was getting close. Jack recognized the signs, a nervous Carter was never a good sign. She was easily one on the most confident people he had ever known, she only got nervous when she couldn't B.S. a solution to save the world or when she had to deal with her personal life.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked, trying to show her that he was here, he would listen. Trying to show that he still cared way way more than he was supposed to.

"Not really sir, but it's time that I told you, and the guys. I don't really want to, but I have to."

"Carter, you don't have to tell me or the guys anything. You have never owed us an explanation for anything. If you don't want to talk, then that's okay. We're just worried about you, because we care about you."

"That's the problem, you care. No one can care about me, I'm not worthy of it."

"Sam, you are the most worthy person in the world. Every one I know loves you. Not all in the same way, but the emotion is the same. Um, Jake took the kids and Bray'tac out to one of the parks. Apparently there's Cole Porter music tonight at one of them and Jake loves the guy's music. Anyway, its just Daniel and Teal'c inside if you want to talk to us. If not, we understand. None of the four of us are big talkers." Jack was looking down into her eyes, completely lost, and completely desperate to have her talk to them, or anyone. He knew how bad things could get if you didn't eventually talk to someone. And he couldn't lose her, he just couldn't.

"Your right, none of us are big talkers; but I have to tell you guys. Maybe it'll make things easier. Maybe it won't but all of you deserve to know," she looked away from him, away from his hypnotizing chocolate brown eyes.

"Okay then. How 'bout we go inside?" He gently guided her into the house, his hand firm and comforting at the small of her back. Sam was happy for him to take charge, she trusted him completely. If he said that only Teal'c and Daniel were inside, then that was the truth.

Once inside, Daniel raised an eyebrow at the sight of Jack guiding Sam in, but didn't say anything. Quietly, Sam took a seat on the couch, her eyes fixed on the carpet, unable to look at the three most important men in her life. Jack took a seat next to her, breaking physical contact with her, but still close enough that it was hard to tell where one began and the other ended.

Voice so soft they could almost not hear her, Sam began, "I guess this is a night for telling tales of the past. I'm sorry I didn't tell the three of you sooner, but I felt like I couldn't. Which is stupid, I trust the three of you completely, but I was terrified of losing your respect. I felt like I couldn't lose that, even if it meant that I didn't tell you about the past. Today, watching the three of you with your children brought the pain to the forefront, I made a choice years ago, and even though it was the right choice, I will always regret it. Will always regret that I wasn't strong enough, wasn't able enough to take care of myself…or of my daughter."

"What? Daughter? Sam what are you talking about you don't have any children!" Daniel exclaimed.

"Daniel, please, just let me talk," Sam looked up at him, and the pain in her blue eyes alone was enough to quiet him. "When I was sixteen, Dad was stationed at Lackland. He'd just gotten his stars and was experiencing running a base for the first time. Mark and I were allowed pretty much everywhere on base, and just about everyone knew us. Dad believed that we where perfectly safe, that on base nothing could happen to us. One of the captains on base, a member of one of special ops teams that were stationed there, destroyed that illusion of safety. One night I was coming home from a football game, and I took a shortcut home across the base. I was alone. The captain grabbed me, and…he…he raped me. I tried to fight, but I wasn't strong enough. I just ended up raped and beat up. Anyway I reported it, and the captain was arrested, and miraculously he was convicted. But I also ended up pregnant. I was going to keep the baby. Even though I wanted to join the Air Force, even though I wanted to be an astronaut and go into space, I was going to keep the baby. That changed after I gave birth and I looked at her, my baby girl for the first time, she looked exactly like him. In that moment, I realized that I couldn't do it. A big part of why the captain was convicted was that I remembered every damn detail of the attack, and whenever I looked at my daughter, I couldn't help but remember. She deserved more than that, she deserved parents who could love her unconditionally, and not constantly have to struggle to forget about who her father was. So, I gave her up. A good friend of Dad's agreed to take her. He and his wife had been trying for another baby, without luck, and so my baby was the answer to their prayers. I knew both of them very well and they were the perfect parents for her. They loved her unconditionally, and they let me be a part of her life. They even gave her the name I was going to give her. Marie, after my mother."

"My god, Sam why didn't you tell us?" Daniel asked shocked, that the woman he thought of as his sister had kept this from them for so long.

"Daniel, in the beginning, I and all the other women at the base had to earn the respect of everyone. I thought that if anyone knew, then it would hurt the chances of myself and the other women to get that respect."

"No one knew? After Turgen, Sam, I know your report said that he didn't rape you, but even the possibility of it could have caused psychological problems. So why didn't you tell anyone?" Daniel continued. Teal'c said nothing, but communicated his admiration for her for surviving and becoming such a strong person, to her. Jack simply sat, enraged that anyone, anywhere would attack his Carter, would hurt his Carter. And enraged at himself that he hadn't known, enraged that he hadn't been there to protect her, despite the fact that it was twenty years ago and he hadn't been anywhere near Lackland Air Force Base at the time, much less known Carter back then.

"Daniel, Janet knew, it was in my medical records that I had given birth. She asked me about it, since she knew I had no children, so I told her. And General Hammond knew. After my capture by Turgen, he made me see a counselor for rape victims. Even though nothing happened with Turgen, he wanted to make sure that no PTSD would bring back the memories of the first attack."

"It's not in your record, how'd General Hammond know Sam? Unless you trusted him more than you trusted your own team," Daniel was getting angry. It was just as Sam had feared, they wouldn't care about her anymore. Teal'c and Jack hadn't said anything, she didn't know if that was good or bad, but Daniel was expressing his anger quite well.

"Daniel, the General was an old friend of Dad's. Actually he and Dad are best friends, Dad was his best man when he married Mary and General Hammond was Dad's best man. He is also my godfather. Of course he knew! If it wasn't for Mary Hammond and Cathy Hayes I wouldn't have gotten through the pregnancy!"

"Wait a second, Cathy Hayes? The First Lady?"

"Yes Daniel. Cathy Hayes, the wife of retired General Hank Hayes, the current President. My other set of godparents, and the adopted parents of my daughter." Sam dropped her head again. It was out. All of it, her baby, who her baby's adopted parents were. Everything. She braced herself for their anger.

Jack was still struggling to get control of his anger. He also didn't understand why, why tell them now, after eight years? It didn't change how he felt, and he knew it wouldn't change how Daniel and Teal'c felt. "Why tell us now Carter?" he asked hoping for a reason he could understand.

"Because it's the reason Jonas got violent, the reason Pete left, the reason why everyone leaves me. I had to tell you, this way, if you want, you can leave too," her voice was strained. Too much was going on inside her head, she didn't understand how she felt any better now than she had when racing along the track at the old raceway.

"Pete left? Because of something that happened twenty years ago and that wasn't even your fault anyway? No wonder you've been quiet. Sam, I'm not angry at you, I'm angry at the bastard who hurt you. And for your information, I'm not leaving. In fact, I think you're stuck with me for a very long time." Daniel knelt in front of her, catching her eyes. Pulling her into a hug, he whispered, "If you need anything, you know where to find me. Even if you just want to rant and rave at the injustice of the world, and the evils of men, I'm willing to listen."

"Col.Carter, indeed a great injustice has been done to you, if you wish I will gladly hunt down this captain and punish him as he would be punished on Chulak. As DanielJackson said, I will also not leave you. I you wish I will also teach PeterShanahan the error of his thinking." Teal'c spoke up from where he sat. Like Jack, he was enraged something would willing hurt Sam, and enraged that Pete had added to the old pain.

"Thanks Teal'c, but he's still in prison. With three Generals demanding his head, the prosecutors charged him with everything that they could think of. He isn't even up for parole until later this year. But I really do appreciate the sentiment."

"When a prisoner goes up for parole there's a hearing, at this hearing there'll be four Generals, retired or otherwise. That bastard's not getting out anytime soon." Was all Jack said from were he was leaning against one of his walls.

"Sam, unless you need us tonight, I need to get Teal'c back to base, but if you want we can hang around for a while." Daniel said.

"Thanks Daniel, but I'm okay. It's been twenty years, guys, I'm fine, honest."

"You sure?" Not that Daniel didn't trust her, but Sam was rarely an extremely emotional person, well except when Jack was missing and she couldn't figure out how to get him back, or it was taking a long time. Still, Sam Carter didn't do emotional, and tonight she had been more emotional than they had seen her since Jack had been unfrozen by the Asguard.

"I'm sure Daniel. Talking about it brings back the memories, memories I'd rather not remember. Pete leaving for the reason he did…it shook my confidence and self-esteem. But overall, I'm fine."

"All right. We'll see you tomorrow then. And Sam, remember we definitely love you. And not just cause you save our asses all the time." Daniel and Teal'c left, leaving Sam alone with Jack, the one man whose opinion she valued above all else, and the one man whose respect, if not love, she was desperate to keep.

"I wish you had felt comfortable enough with us to tell us before Sam. I understand why you didn't though.

"You do?" Sam was a little surprised.

"We didn't make things very easy in the beginning, and after that we just got used to you being perfect and saving the world with that incredible mind of yours. We've really saw Carter in the beginning and now we're more used to seeing Sam. Bad things aren't supposed to happen to you though. I wish I could change the past, make sure that SOB never hurt you."

"I'm sorry, Jack."

"What for? You've done nothing that you need to apologize for."

"For not telling you that Pete left. I mean it was for the best, even if the reason he left hurts. I cared about him, in a way I loved him, but I wasn't in love with him. He wasn't enough, he was really just a placeholder, until I could possibly get want I want. But I'm not sure if I can still get what I want. I screwed up pretty bad when I went with the safest bet around, the guy who couldn't possibly break my heart."

"Hey, I've screwed up pretty badly too over the years. And until right now, I was pretty sure that I had let the greatest thing in my life slip away because I was too afraid to say anything. All I have ever wanted was for you to be happy, it was hard to be happy for you and Pete, but I managed."

"You don't hold it against me? I mean I didn't exactly keep him out of the SGC."

"How could I hold it against you, Sam? You deserve so much more than I could ever give you. Especially since right now our jobs mean that we can't do anything, and especially since I am the most unworthy person for you to even consider." His voice had not risen from its soft quiet tone, the only difference was that now, Jack O'Neill, the General that System Lords and cadets, and everyone in between could tremble in fear of, sound afraid and unsure of himself.

"How can you think that? Who is the person who put the idea in your head that you're no good? Please tell me, because I need to go hurt this person," Sam joked, smiling for the first time in hours. "We both know how we feel, and I think that we both know how the other feels. So we wait, we've already waited for years, at least we know where we stand. That's more than we had before. And for your information Jack O'Neill, you are the greatest thing that has happened to me. And nothing in this world or on any other is ever going to change that.."

Grinning back at her he pulled her over to him and as she leaned back into him, he muttered into her hair, "No one is ever going to hurt you again Sam. Not if I have anything to say about it."

They stayed like that the rest of the night. Peacefully sleeping for the first time in eight long years, finally, if temporarily, wrapped securely in each other's arms.