Why Saiyuki should not have handphones

Disclaimer: I don't own it. See previous chapter for reason.

Moi Musings: I DID IT! CHAPTER 2 IS UP! HELL YEAH! WOOHOO! For those who want a third chapter (Yipe. I may die writing), I need ideasfor only one reason:I'm dry. Anyway, the rating went up because of certain...implications. Ah well.

"It's a what?"

"It's a handphone, my dear Princess."

"Oh." Silence. "How does it work?"

"It apparently works on fundamental and mathematically-precise Boolean logic that…."

"No, you idiot. I didn't mean that kind of work. I mean how do you use it?"

Dr Nii smirked.

"It's all very simple. Just key in the number, press this green button here and voila. Think about it. You can contact whoever you want with the press of a button."

Pause. "Ohohoho! You are indeed a genius, Nii! Issue these headphones to all the staff!"

"It's handphones, your highness."

"Whatever." (I think you should know who this princess is. It's quite obvious.)

"It's a what?"

"It's a handphone, Kougaiji-sama."

"Oh." Silence. "Teach me how to use it."

A couple of hours later, every single person in the castle had mastered the use of the handphone. All except Gyuumaoh himself. What do you expect from an unconscious guy?

Meanwhile, Yaone was seated, comfortably, on a chair in the dining room (a/n: there are dining rooms in the castle, are there?), playing a simple game (Dr. Mario) on her handphone. There was nothing to do anyway. But why the dining room? Coz the authoress says so.

The moment Yaone proceeded to the next level of fighting evil germs, Kougaiji walked into the dining room, holding a bowl of salad. He sat at the far end of the table, quite a distance from where Yaone was.

"Aw, crap…" Kou (a/n: I'm sick of writing his whole name) hissed under his breath, but not quiet enough to not alert the beautiful doctor. Yaone giggled quietly as she exited her game, knowing very well why the prince had sworn. She began to type a message, her nimble fingers moving swiftly over the keypad.

You have received a message from: Yaone

The Prince had the shock of his life the moment he opened the message.

You wanta fk?

Holy crap.

Did he just read that?

He re-read the message. There was no mistaking it. Did Yaone just ask him to…

This called for desperate measures.

You have received a message from: Kou

shit shit shit Doku. U gotta help me. Yaone just asked me 2 sleep with her and I dunno what 2 do. reply ASAP.

You have received a message from: Doku

I only hav 1 thing to say: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

You have received a message from: Doku

2 actually. I think Nii has some 'protection' somewhere. But u can always name the baby after me. :)

You have received a message from: Kou

Damn you.

Kougaiji breathed deeply, counted from one to ten, and did whatever he could to regain his composure. He could feel Yaone's eyes on him.

She wasn't that bad actually. She was kind, sweet, gentle, obedient, had a great body…Wait. What was he thinking? This wasn't the time to…think about…such things…But she was inviting him to…she started it…

His eyes glazed over as he thought of what would happen between the two of them.

/The scene currently playing in our dear prince's head/

"Oh, Kougaiji-sama."

"Oh, Yaone."

/And the rest is censored./

Kougaiji shook his head to clear out the images. No no, can't sink to Nii's level. Then only did he realize Yaone standing next to him.

"Kougaiji-sama?"

Kou squawked, rather uncharacteristic for our prince. How did she get here so fast? He gulped.

"You didn't reply to my message, but I thought you really needed it, so I came over to you instead."

She came over to me? Is she that desperate? And how do I look like I need to...er…do those kind of…things…

Kougaiji's head was pounding, his vision slightly blurred, all sorts of perverse scenes running through his head, even one of how their baby would look like, but that's another story. He was freaking out, torn between responding to Yaone's "invitation" or holding back. Basically, he couldn't think straight.

Yaone smiled, and advanced towards him slowly.

Noooooo…I'm not ready…

Yaone got closer…

Crap.

And closer…

Help me.

Even closer…

Kami-sama…I know you're up there. Help me!

She smiled again at the beet-red Kougaiji…and handed him a fork.

I got the idea from an advertisement. Hee hee, this is probably the only time you may see Kougaiji lose his head.