A/N: This is just a idea that came to me and I decided to write on it. Uses first person POV to show their inner feelings when... well, you'll see. Uses the setting from my other fic, A Fate Worse Than Death, not related any more than that. Warning, character death!

John Sheppard

Thump. I hit the floor of the gate room. I can't remember why, or how. All I know is I feel this strange sensation. It starts near my feet and crawls to my head. I really can't understand it. I'm not sure I want to understand it.

I can hear a dull roar. Everything seems surreal, as if it's not really happening. Teyla's kneeling over me, tears staining her cheeks, yelling something I can't understand. My god, she's gorgeous. I don't know why that's all I can thing of, I don't know why she's crying.

The only thing that's right is my eyes. I can see. Rodney's also screaming at something. Carson's coming through the side door, followed by medics with a stretcher. Am I hurt, they're coming for me.

I look down and it all comes back. The fight, the wounds. The final shots that hit me as I fell through the gate. It doesn't seem to matter. I see a light, just beyond my vision. It's not harsh, though it should be. It seems to be calling me.

"John please?" Teyla's voice was distant.

I look down, she's running alongside the stretcher, her hand entwined with mine. She's begging, as if pleading with some higher power. I don't know why.

"Get me a breathing mask and charge the pads." Carson's voice was even further, as if he was on the other side of the room.

This isn't right. I thought to myself. I shouldn't be here. I should be with them. I should be standing next to Teyla, looking down at the person who's supposed to be here. It's never me.

Then it hits me again, the actual knowledge that I'm running out of time. The world keeps getting more and more distant. The light keeps getting brighter and brighter, threatening the take it all away.

Ford appears from behind Teyla, his usual smile gone. "Come on Colonel."

I try to roll my head, to make some kind of witty remark, anything. But then I notice, I can't. It's like I'm in another person's body, just watching the events unfold. It's like I have no control.

I can see Elizabeth and Rodney also. They're both crying. Why? I'm not dead. I can still see them. I'm going to make it, no worse than being hit by a wraith stunner, just a lot more blood.

For some reason, the fact that I'm bleeding doesn't bother me. Carson's yelling for the nurses to administer pain killers, or something like that. It barely phases me. Hell, I'm surprised I even care.

I can't feel my legs anymore, and my arms are barely twitching. I can't believe it's all going to end like this.

A nurse plants an IV in my arm, feeding my blood from one of the packets, probably my own. I try to smile.

My face obviously still worked because Teyla broke into a fresh course of tears and stood on her knees right besides me. I try to wink, to do anything. I hate this feeling of nothingness.

Then she does something I'm not expecting. She kisses me. Full on, on the lips. I can barely feel it. I desperately want to kiss her in return, to hold her. The embrace her. Damn, I want to marry her. Why won't my body let me?

It's too late, and I know it. I can feel the numbness coming to consume me. It's already depriving me of air. I struggle to say one thing. "I love you." I struggle to say each word, but each word comes out.

Teyla collapsed to the floor. I wish I could've been there for her. I wish I could've done some. The light threatened to block it all out. I could barely see. It all sees to be the end. It sucks.

The numbness consumes me and the light takes me.