Carly-chan: Hello! I hope that I can get this next chapter out to you all fairly quickly, yeah like that ever actually happens. Yes…so here I am writing to avoid doing my summer reading project… and I think I only have about two weeks left to do it and I haven't even finished my first of 2 books…crap. Alright so next week I won't really be on the internet much but hopefully I'll still find time to write…if not then this chapter will take forever to finish and I'll be very sorry for that. So…welcome to chapter 5...wow chapter 5 already. Most of you seem to support it so this will become a fic with some hinting at HoroXRen Yaoi. I'll put a notice about it in this chapter and I'll edit the first chapter to put it in there so that people know about it. Yeah.
Notice: This fan fiction from this point ( and from the end of the last chapter if you want to look at it that way) on has some hinting towards a HoroXRen pairing.
Ok so when I've been trying to upload this it's been messing up a little so I removed it and I'm trying to fix that now.
Reviews! Yayers! Ok… I've heard that replying to reviews isn't allowed anymore… and that I could get punished for it…but for now I'm going to do it anyways because I love you guys!
SGCred: Ahhh …I see…happy belated (it's Sunday when I'm writing this.) birthday then! (although I don't know when I will actually get this posted so my 'happy birthday' may be like a month late. Lol Thank you. Yay! … I do hope I get Lea to the point where she meets Ren and finds out that he is a male fairly soon, it's so hard to try and write with Lea saying 'she' all the time even though I know that Ren is a boy. I'm also trying very hard to not have the other characters say 'he or him' while they speak to Lea (that mainly refers to Yoh in the last chapter) because although I could make her oblivious to the fact that they said 'he' I think that it's more likely that Lea would have a lot of attention to detail when it comes to her sister/brother because she wants to learn about her true life. Ahh yes…poor little Lea… hmmm…I haven't decided how I'm going to work their meeting through quite yet but I should because it's coming up rather fast.
Yeah…yay Ren and Horo-ness … I always thought that if I did make it have some HoroXRen yaoi I would have Lea know about it and at least try to get them to show each other that they care, but that might not work out too well because the way they seem to show they care is by physical abuse and she just might end up killing them…uhh…wow. Oh no, no, no it's alright I don't feel like you're dictating me…I actually wanted your approval for the yaoi most of all because if I lost you as a reader I just don't know what I would do. So yeah…it's cool. (yes…if they were to cause a fuss about it I would yell at them very much… yay for gay rights! Lol)
Ahhh…yes…poor little Lea being tainted by the evilness of spoken words. Oh yeah she will still end up with a sister…wow…cool! That will make Lea happy, and her older sister is pretty cool too.
Yes…I must learn to run really quickly away from Ren….umm… I wasn't very good of a runner to start with though, lol. I know… I hope next year I don't end up with too many immature nosey people in my class… I hope I end up in some good classes with my friends too. Yes…duct taping Choco's mouth would help him out quite a bit wouldn't it…(tries to find some duct tape) Yup… yay I have lots of funny scenes planned out for this (but I wrote a rather serious one a few nights ago) and I hope I can fit them all in. They made Jerry Springer an opera! …wow…I did not know that XD.
Ok! If I think of any words or phrases I'll ask… ooh cool! It'll be cool to have them say those words. …umm what would 'big brother' be?
Ok I'll send Moonlight Blossom soon… it gets really weird at points though… when I send it I'll explain some of the very strange points to you.
DragonStorm85: Oh…ok! Thank you for pointing that out! I went back and read through it and I think I got all or at least most of the 'he' and 'him' parts changed, there was a part where Lea said the word 'she' to Yoh… do you think it's ok if I just let that pass as he probably didn't notice it? Thank you for saying my writing is good and I hope that you keep reading.
devilicious-jo: Yay! Another vote for the Yaoi! Two votes is enough for me! It won't be completely a yaoi fic but it will hint at it quite obviously. Thanks!… hmm…I really should try and work that out the right way how I want them to meet… I have like bits and pieces of it down.
Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King… sadly… if I did though I can guarantee that I would have prevented it from being badly dubbed… yessss, however I don't own it and the dub still exists.
Chapter 5:A voice of the past
Lea POV
The rest of the day is passing by so slowly that I wonder if it will ever become tomorrow. I can't stand waiting inside the hotel and I can't fall asleep, I'm too anxious to see my sister tomorrow. Perhaps I'm not quite anxious, I'm not worried about it I'm just having trouble being patient enough. It's been quite a while since I learned of my sister's existence and this waiting is making it seem twice as long.
I have decided to go for a walk around the city to find my way to the café so that I don't get lost on my way there tomorrow. I wouldn't want to get lost and have my sister leave because she thinks that I won't come, that would be horrible. I think that tomorrow I'll be early to our meeting just to be sure that I'm not late. I slip my shoes on and head out, it seems like such a long way from my room, down the steps and through the hotel lobby to the door, everything in this place has a touch of elegance to it, I don't think I have ever been in a place so elegant. A voice, smooth and all too familiar yet I can't tell where I know it from, intrudes into my mind. "Little Lea Tao… it's been too long."
I freeze on my way down the hallway. "W-who are you?" I say, afraid a bit, my voice quivering. Although I can only feel fear right now there is some feeling deep down within me that is telling me it's alright, the voice is safe.
"Little Lea have you forgotten me so soon? …Oh I'm hurt, I can't believe the awful things they did to you… they took me from you but soon enough you'll know me again."
"Why are you here now then?" I question, I'm just a bit confused, if everything he is saying he says will happen eventually then what does he want with me right now?
"Oh little Lea, I just wanted to remind you of all the things you have forgotten; me, your true home, what I told you of your true family and so much more, four years worth of things that they simply tore from you like it was nothing. I've watched you since the time we parted Lea and I just want you to know that you're wrong, you've been to a place far more elegant than this many years ago." This man who seems to know so much about me and my life, he seems to know what's missing, who could he be?
"I don't understand… where have I been that was more elegant than this?" The confusion that I felt moments ago has multiplied a considerable amount.
"A place where you belong." Says the voice fading away.
"But where do I belong?" I scream but he has already left. A hotel cleaning lady who was working her way down this way is staring at me now, I suppose I didn't realize that unlike the voice, people could hear me. I blush and walk quickly by her to the stairs, not wanting to stand there waiting for the elevator with her staring at me. Quickly, out of frustration that I won't be able to work this out, I walk down the stairs and to the door. As the bright sun shined down upon me I am filled with happiness, I smile looking up into the sky expecting to see a happy blue sky with puffy white clouds above me. Instead I see a sky a shade too dark and clouds that are fake… clouds of pollution. I have been tricked by the untainted sun.
This saddens me, this Tokyo is robbed of the beauty of nature and the poor people hustle on by not even noticing how they are wronged. I stare out at them with tear glazed eyes as the rush by me, I pity them. The men and women of Tokyo, businessmen and businesswomen who are clueless to their ill fated city… they deserve much more than my pity. If only they could see what I saw when I escaped the city, the beauty that blessed my life once I escaped. Poor piteous humans of the city, the tears down my cheeks are in honor of them because I can do nothing else for them. Humans? I speak as if I am not a human like they are…I am a human aren't I?
Not needing to be any more confused than I am, I shake that question off and carry on my way. As I go on I spot a tourist shop and head into it, there I buy a map of the city. It's amazing how easily I can get to places if I actually know where I'm going, with the help of the map I'm almost to the café. It seems like a nice place and appears to be modeled after the fancy cafés they have in France. I order a cup of coffee and a small plate of cookies then take them to one of the outside tables. I sit here slowly eating and drinking quietly just trying to pass the time. As I sit I look out onto the busy streets of Tokyo wondering if these people who rush around so hectically ever stop and relax, just take a break. I do hope that they do sometimes, how sad life would be if all you did was work. I don't seem to have ever worked in my life though so I suppose I don't have much of a right to talk badly about their constant working, they may enjoy it. That though makes me smile but it's soon washed away and replaced by a look of shock.
"Oh but you worked hard when you were with me… such a small thing yet you did all you could." That voice was back again. I wondered if this person ever did anything but watch over me. Where was this person watching from anyway I questioned looking around flustered. I do suppose that he wouldn't have to be actually watching me to intrude upon my thoughts though.
"What is it that you want? Why do you say such things but never tell me more when I ask?" I whisper to him hoping that nobody hears.
"I don't tell because I'm trying to force your altered brain to remember these things, and that is also what I want… once you achieve that my wants will change." I could hear a smile in his voice.
"But… why won't you help me to remember then?" I question, all I want is to know the truth… I'm not even so much intent on making him leave me be as I am to know the truth.
"Tao Ren can help you much better than I can, I told you that from the beginning. Of course though you wouldn't remember me telling you that. Find Tao Ren and the answers and your memories should come flowing back to you." He was gone again after that.
If I find Tao Ren my memories will return? I do hope that is the truth. I'm a little afraid though… I wonder what my memories will be of, perhaps of horrible things that were taken from me so that they wouldn't haunt me forever. Then again maybe they are of wonderful things …or of my sister that had been kept hidden from me for so many years. When I meet my sister here tomorrow my memories should start to return, my anticipation has doubled now.
On my way back all I can think about is my sister, tomorrow, that man and my memories. The same things plague my mind for most of the night until it becomes too much for my body to handle and I fall into sleep. I wonder if my body can stand much more of this crazy life that I'm starting to lead. I haven't slept much at all since I arrived in Tokyo and perhaps once things settle down and the excitement drains that lack of sleep will take it's toll on my body. I can't possibly know when the excitement will go away though.
3rd person POV-Ren
"No Horo!" Ren exclaimed in response to the Ainu's question, clearly he was agitated. Since the phone call and the little squabble following it that they shared, that had been the seventh time Horo had asked. Only three hours had passed since then.
"Oh come on Ren! Why can't I come with you?" Horo said a bit like a child who was pleading to get his way. "Out of all of your friends I should be the one to go! You should really take your best friend with you."
"My best friend?" Ren shouted, surprised at the accusation of Horo being his best friend. "Horo you aren't my best friend, I don't have a best friend and if I had one it wouldn't be you! I can barely tolerate living in this house with you, what makes you think we would be best friends?" Ren's tone was fierce and hurtful, he got like this sometimes… a lot actually.
A look of hurt and sadness flashed in Horo's eyes as he heard the words, they cut like knives at his heart. The simple Horo couldn't understand why Ren had to be so mean all of the time, and why mostly to him. It was rather clear though, Ren wouldn't ever admit that he cared for anyone but his older sister and in an attempt to let his caring not be seen he was cruel and edgy. He wanted people to think that he hated them so that they wouldn't know that he cared for them. In truth though Horo would have been Ren's best friend, he was the friend he cared for most and that was why he was particularly cruel to him. Horo's caring was plain and obvious though, Ren however was just too wrapped up in himself and his façade of hatred to see it. Ren didn't see the hurt in his friend's eyes when he said these horrid things to him and he didn't know how deeply they cut him.
Horo's hurt expression changed back into one of determination rather quickly. "Fine Ren… if you say so, but I want to meet your sister. I read the letter and I told you when and where to meet her. I have more of a right than any of us to meet her so-"
Ren cut him off, "None of you has a right to meet her! She has nothing to do with any of you!"
Ren knew that it hurt his friends when he wouldn't let them know about his personal affairs, and it hurt Horo, who tried to be his friend, comfort him and be there for him, most. It seemed that Ren didn't want anybody to get close to him, that he didn't want to be loved. The truth, though, was that Ren didn't want anyone close to him in fear of hurting them. Yes, the great Tao Ren was afraid to hurt his friends, the whole thing is hard to believe but it's the truth. Ren knew that he was horrible, even though his friends told him otherwise, and that he had hurt so many people in the past. There was no way for him to repent and it seemed he would just go on selfishly hurting people to draw himself away from his own pain. If he were to inflict the pain and loss onto others, onto so many others… perhaps it could become normal. Then maybe he wouldn't have to be horrible, then maybe he could stop hurting and allow himself to be loved. The problem with that theory was that there was no set quota of when he will have hurt enough people for his pain to be accepted and embraced as normal. Without that quota the hurting would just go on for such a long time. It is a sad thing, a terribly sad thing.
"Ren… I don't care if you don't think it's my business at all, and I suppose it's not, but I'm going to come and meet your sister with you." Horo was really serious about this. It wasn't often that the carefree and fun loving HoroHoro became so serious but when he did he was just a bit scary and there wasn't much reasoning with him.
"Horo!" Ren called out, not quite angry but feeling as if the matter hadn't been resolved. Horo was already walking away though, back to his room, and hadn't listened to Ren.
From here it's just 3rd person and it switched sometimes between them.
The next day crept upon them slowly, but surely enough it did come. Ren had planned to wake up earlier than usual for his morning training, after which he would take a short bath and slip out for the rest of the day so that Horo wouldn't be able to tag along with him. He didn't know where he would go between his leaving the Onsen and three o'clock, but he could work that out later. So he did just as he had planned until just after his bath when he was going to get dressed and slip out. He thought he heard shuffling of feet so he peeked into Horo's room on his way to his own room, Horo was tucked under his blankets fast asleep. Little did Ren know that under his blankets Horo was fully dressed, ready to go and pretending to be asleep. As Ren went to change Horo was the one that slipped out, he went down the road a ways and waited for Ren there. If he was far enough away from the Onsen Ren couldn't force him to go back and he would just tag along, Ren would eventually become used to him being there and stop fighting it. The plan was perfect, Horo grinned with glee as he sat waiting, staring up at the dawn sky. "And everyone says that Ren is the smart one with the amazing tactics for every part of life, if only they knew… if only they knew."
Soon enough Horo was joined by his friend and although Ren protested, Horo wouldn't leave. As they walked on toward the city Ren gave up, just like Horo had planned, Horo felt himself to be brilliant in that moment but it soon just faded away. As they entered the city the two boys grunted in hatred for the smog and the tall steel buildings that threatened the sky like ferocious monsters. The two looked to each other blankly after their shared grunt, each boy knew of the other's reason for disliking the city but neither suspected their reaction to be the same when they entered the place. Neither spoke of it though, soon they let it just simply pass.
Carly-chan: Because of the fact that I can't think of anything else to write and that this seemed to be an alright place to do it, I decided to end this chapter here. I'm sorry, I did intend to have them meet in this chapter but I didn't… I guarantee it for next chapter though and after they meet things should start moving quite faster. Yay for more implied (but not really said) RenXHoro-ness! Tee hee…can you tell I'm having fun with that? Actually even if I wasn't making it yaoi-ish I'm really having fun exploring their friendship in different, deeper ways. I like to make my own interpretations of how the two of them feel, the feelings that they never say. I'm not sure if I uploaded them yet but I did fix a few things on the chapters (did I say that already?) that were kind of small things. I'm not sure if I talked about it but I probably won't be writing again for the rest of my summer break (I go back to school on the 23rd) and then depending on if they pile the work on us or not a little after school starts… so uhh…sorry and I'll miss you. I'm also trying to see if I can go back to the format of posting these that I had before because I don't really like the one I'm using now too much