Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters mentioned in this fanfiction. They all belong to Mineko Ohkami, damn it…

Author's Notes: Hello all. Welcome to this little story. I'm sort of writing this for the 20 themes challenge on livejournal. None of the themes come through in this chapter but I guess that EmotionallyShatterd could fit in here somewhere…

The main pairing for this story is supposed to be Gil/Raam (or Laam, whatever abbreviation that suits you.) but in all actuality, you probably will see more Gil/Shydeman than anything. Don't run away, though!

Oh yeah, this is not one of those 'OMG, it's so fluffy!' stories. There's a LOT of angsty stuff and all of that crap. There will be some fluffy moments though….

This story has a PG-13 rating but I would rate the first couple of paragraphs in this chapter R for some… stuff. You are warned.

Kudos to who can guess where I got the title for this story from! Hint: It's a song by a kickass group whose name begins with a C and ends with an E…

Starless

Chapter 1

"Kitty."

I could feel my heart sink as my detestable pet name escaped past his moist, slightly parted lips in a guttural groan, reverberating throughout the bedroom his satisfaction as he claimed me. I could feel his every movement; every gyration of his slim hips between my thighs and flutter of long eyelashes upon my scarred cheek sent frightful shivers up and down my spine. The bed creaked rather loudly with each of his lewd movements, combining with the sounds of prolonged moans and my pitiful whimpering to cause quite a disturbing commotion.

"Kitty… My kitty cat!"

His hands, once tender and explorative, were fixed structures on my shoulders, his fingers rigid columns digging into my flesh. I detested each and every one of those fingers, tearing my skin open with their sharp nails. In fact, I hated the whole situation; the pleasure derived from our union of bodies was a bit one-sided and the only thing that came out of it for me was pain. In a way, I cherished these brief moments in time; this was the only time that I felt that he loved me, even though a niggling thought at the back of my mind kept reiterating the fact that he cared only about my body and what ecstasy could be obtained from it, not about my fragile mind. I knew that when the 'session' was over, the curses and abuse would start again, smothering the flame of my self-worth. Besides, what was I expecting? Who would love a hideous monster like me?

His hands left the temporary home of my shoulders and his fingers interlaced with my own, claiming my sweaty palms as their new abode. Long strands of finely spun spider webs draped across my exposed chest, mingling with my own thick, violet locks. His tongue left blazing trails of saliva down my burning neck as he feverishly sucked away at it, eliciting a strangled, horrified mew from the confines of my throat, giving truth to my cat-like namesake. His actions were beginning to irk me, bur I knew that I was helpless; nothing I could do would cease his desecration of my body, and it would only bring more trouble in the end. So, I allowed my mind to drift far away from the heated confines of the room and up into the indigo heavens, begging for the ceasing of my suffering. From my eye, I saw nothing and no answer, no divine intervention, was received. It was at that moment in time, that space in reality's vast expanse, that I knew that I was alone.

Suddenly, my lover removed himself from atop my body and situated himself next to me, his breath escaping from his lips in hurried, aggravated, gasps.

"God damn, kitty…"

My eyes cut over to his, and we engaged in an impromptu staring match for a minute, until his lips formed four commanding words.

"Get cleaned up, Gil."

I obeyed immediately and got up from the bed, jogging into the bedroom's adjoining bathroom on account of the cool, air-conditioned, air that hit my sweaty skin, chilling me to the bone. Once I entered the bathroom, I turned on the light and examined my reflection in the mirror, noticing the current changes from my usual appearance. My hair, usually moving freely and sticking out in every direction, was plastered to my scalp, deceiving my usual free-spirited nature. However, my frown remained constant, and the worried look in my golden eye was still there, as it was before and always shall remain. There was a time in my life where I was happy, living with my father Barl and little sister Fiji (1) in a small cottage by the woods but those times of rapture were over, and they were never to be repeated again as I long as I remained with my lover. But, wouldn't leaving hurt the man who 'loves' me so?

As I turned on the faucet and wet my washcloth, I looked at my lover in the mirror's reflection. His back was turned to me and from the looks of it, he was asleep, since his breathing pattern had slowed down drastically, matching the pace that I was very familiar with, due to my observations of him at rest. It looked like there was to be no cuddling tonight, no sharing of one's thoughts and orgasmic afterglow. I was quite used to this, however; there was no use in wanting what I couldn't have. I was in for another night of cold abyss, trying to comfort myself and control my body as it was wracked by powerful, ground-moving sobs. I knew that I deserved much better than this, but I was a fool in love—nothing, no amount of hitting or scolding words from a fiery tongue—could ever make me leave him. But I was getting ready to take back those words; there is only so much neglect that I can take.

Oh, Shydeman; why do you treat me this way?

Notes:

To make the story flow easier when these two characters come into play, I changed it around a little. If you don't know, Barl is actually Gil's younger brother and Fiji is his niece.

Author's notes:

Well, how do you like it? Shydeman is pretty tame in this chapter, but his nastiness comes into play in the next chapter. Here is a pretty long preview…

Chapter 2

During the drive, the only thing that I was allowed to look at was my own feet—Shydeman had forbid me to look out any of the windows on the premise that I would be looking at another man. Little did he know, I was more content observing the wonders of Mother Nature—like leaves falling to the ground when a bird hops from branch to branch, or a cat pouncing on an unsuspecting insect, not flirting with eye candy that I saw out of a foggy passenger's side window. I also knew that prohibiting me from looking around would also make me 'oblivious' to Shydeman's wandering eye as he performed the action that I was not allowed to do. But, this was all about to end… I allowed a smile to grace my lips, raising the corners of my lips a half inch.

Big mistake.

"What in the hell is so funny?" Shydeman asked curiously, his right coming away from the steering wheel to cup my chin and raise my head upwards and to the left, forcing me to look at his Adonis-like profile. His eyes cut over to me for a second before returning to the road, demanding an immediate answer.

"Nothing." The words escaped from my lips in a weak whisper as I tried to look down at my feet once again, finding comfort in staring at my reflection from my lustrous black loafers; but my lover's grip on my face was tenacious and I was forced to remain that way until he decided to let go. His eyes cut over to me once again and his lips curled up into a smile as he stopped the car, presumably at a red light.

"Well, keep it that way." He hissed, roughly shoving my face towards the passenger's side window, causing the right side of my face to impact the cold glass in a forceful manner.

More Author's notes The way this preview goes might not be the same in the chapter when I post it… It's really bad in my opinion… Oh yeah, if you want to read some more of my fanfiction, check out Sick Sad Little World. It's about… Rath… I co-wrote it with my friend DragonessFei so it's on her penname. You should check it out! Please? –obnoxious puppy eyes-