"Alone"
/this is another tragic fic dear readers this time Bakura is the one that died trying to save Ryou, would the innocent hikari do the unthinkable? Lets find out/
I have never been truly alone but the feeling is strangely familiar. I used to experience detaining silence day in and day out; until I received the item of darkness. Long ago there was no hostility, no disdainful company, no twisted ways of affection. But a person becomes accustomed to such constant things, but when it finally disappeared, it left a relentless void that I could never fill.
Sure it was at first pleasant to have things go back to normal, to carry out the same tedious things I had practiced so long ago. But my existence was becoming pointless; I had nothing to live for, after being part of something that could have changed the fact of life or death in the world.
But truth be told I miss him, his company, sure he was a psychopath, a masochist, but I did have someone to talk to, another voice other than my own. I am completely isolated, I go through numbing silence day in and day out, I no longer fell pain, just an relentless numbness that won't go away. Now I am once again out of the spotlight and into the background.
My father's absence was of no comfort to what I was feeling now.
But then as the days go by, a voice started dwelling in that void, but that voice was of my own,
It wasn't a pleasant change, nor was it a disturbing one; I was raised in a house of noise, me and my sister laughing, the noises in the street. The silence only reminded me of what I once had, and what I could never again attain.
It's strange the way I have an inability feel as much as I'm supposed to. Pain, sadness, joy, resentment, this all meant nothing, they are non-existent to me. I am nothing, an empty shell without a soul, without a purpose, a body that had bled dry.
But what happened to the happy innocent boy who played with his sister?
A piece of myself was taken by my sister, the other by my mother, the other by my father, and last by my Yami, until there was nothing left, nothing more but a broken soul, remains of who I once was.
But when someone started pestering me at school my decision, was to fight back, I beat him, for a moment I had a feeling of power, but it soon faded and was once again replaced by the numbness, which soon turned to guilt, apologizing was my worse idea, I was back to square one, only I felt worse than before.
This rose to a very interesting question. Was I just destined to be a soul constantly living in my own self contempt and feel nothing but a numbness that never will go away?
But then again it is best not to think of my Yami, one who did not feel any regret or remorse, one who had surrendered himself to the darkness. But the memories of my past were slowly fading and I am on the path of completely forgetting them.
I mean nothing to anyone, it would never even matter if I lived or died. Even sleep visits me less and less. I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up again, memories that haunt me through the night, I just want it all to end………I wish I never even existed……..
And so I lay on the floor, my back against the wall, I hugged my knees closer to my chest, the blood tainted knife shinned in the moonlight, what was left of reality was slowly fading, a crimson fluid streaming down my arm, I close my eyes falling into slumber, one I had hope I would never rise from.
/Owari/
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ok here ends another story dear readers and it has no other relation with my other fics, and here they don't have a relationship if you were wondering