Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim.

A/N: Rated R for sex. Some kind of crazy love potion, I think the title speaks for itself. First I must say, this is intended to be a one-shot, kinda ZADR (love potion people!), but after finishing it, I realized that it could be stretched into something more. If I get reviews asking for a longer story, I will, but otherwise it will stand as is and basically, I'm already stuck between two other stories. So please let me know if this should go on!

Some Kind of Crazy Love Potion!

by flying metal child

In the scaaary labs of Professor Membrane…

"Simmons! I've done it!" Professor Membrane exclaimed. Simmons looked up from his lab table to see the crazy scientist proudly holding a vial of bubbly red liquid in the air.

"Er, what is it sir?" Simmons asked nervously.

"This vial happens to hold a new POWERFUL pesticide, my dear Simmons, and soon it will be manufactured to get rid of those pesky mosquitoes that carry diseases and such…perfectly safe for humans but DEADLY to them!" Membrane struck a pose once more and Simmons went to his computer.

"I'll contact the pesticide people, sir."

"Yes Simmons, you do that, you do that."

…

One week later…and just in time for Dib and Zim's weekly argument…

"Dib monkey! Dib stink…Dib thingy…Dib HUMAN! Dib gooey earth larvae. Where do you get these names from Zim?!?"

Zim laughed madly outside on the school's front lawn and replied, "You are all of those things monkey boy. So you see, I don't make them up, I'm just observant of your humany gooeyness! Now be gone with you dirt-child!"

Dib shook his head disapprovingly, "Zim, we've known each other for what, five years, don't you think it's about time you grew up and dropped the childish act?"

"Act? I am not acting!" Zim shrieked in Dib's face. Dib was taller than Zim by a few good inches and he relished the fact that Zim had to stand on his toes to reach him. "You are the childish one Dib-human and I--what is that noise?" Dib heard it too, like the sound of plane engines, except multiplied by a hundred. He looked up just in time to see about ten little planes releasing some kind of gas, reddish, maybe pink in color, over the city. In the distance, he could see more planes doing the same thing and soon the sky was blotted red.

"See, you humans are crazy, polluting the air with things!" Zim said suddenly, pointing crazily at the sky.

Snorting at Zim's ridiculous statement, Dib said, "It's not pollution Zim, they're just spraying pesticide. Sometimes bugs carry diseases and they do this sometimes, geez, they did it last year, don't you remember?" Zim began to open his mouth in reply but by then, the pesticide gas had settled to their level, and everyone began to inhale the noxious fumes. Zim began to cough, as did Dib. Several students, who had stuck around to listen to the weekly entertainment that was the Zim versus Dib argument, also began to cough violently. The air was hazy and it watered everyone's eyes, limiting their visibility.

"We need to get inside!" Someone yelled. Dib agreed and somehow, the students and a few wayward street people found their way inside the main hall of the high school. Dib coughed a few more times before his lungs settled. A pretty girl with asthma was sucking madly on her inhaler. Zim had slumped to the floor against some lockers and was madly itching his contacts. Well, so much for human (and alien) friendly pesticide, Dib thought, but then he thought, maybe it wasn't pesticide, maybe it was some kind of government experiment! He didn't have much time to think further because his head suddenly began to throb with pain. It subsided then it felt like he was floating and everything around him was tinged pink. He looked at Zim, still green, but a pinkish aura surrounded his body. Dib boldly approached the alien.

Zim looked up to see the Dib monkey standing over him. "Zim," Dib said, "do you feel weird?" Weird? Well, his head felt like he'd gone way too fast then stopped suddenly…he was floating…everything was pink…Dib was pink…he looked…good. Zim nodded yes to Dib's question and he looked at the other people, for no particular reason. They were all so vividly pink! They looked good too, but not like Dib. Everyone in the hall had the same feelings of floating and pinkness. Their hearts beat fast and their bodies felt so alive and hungry. The girl with the asthma suddenly crawled over to some boy she didn't even know and put her hands in his hair, touching the softness. They looked at each other for a breathless moment before diving into a deep kiss. No one seemed particularly disturbed by the act going on in front of them…actually it seemed like a pretty good idea!

Dib really, really, REALLY! liked what they were doing and he suddenly jerked Zim off the floor by his tiny arm and drug him into a nearby classroom, locking the door and quickly shutting the blinds. Zim seemed bored and unperturbed that his nemesis had hauled him in here. He scratched his lenses once more before realizing that no one was around, so he promptly abandoned his disguise to the floor. He didn't know why he was alone with the Dib, only that it was a good thing. Dib came up to him and Zim looked up dully.

Zim was so green, and his eyes were so beautiful! Dib put his hand to the green cheek, softest skin he'd ever felt, and with his other hand, pulled the alien waist to his. Neither said a word. Dib held Zim tight and suddenly lunged forward for a passionate kiss. Zim relented and his knees gave way, just as his mouth was giving way to Dib's hot lips and the sweet tongue. Dib relished the deep moans coming from Zim's throat and he crushed the tiny body to him harder, unsatisfied that Zim wasn't screaming his name, or at least naked, or crushed even harder under his body!

Dib's eyes fell on the teacher's desk. Whose room was this anyway? He pulled Zim with him and like in the movies, swept everything off the desk with his hands and lifted his would be lover on top. Zim seemed drunk on something and coyly pushed Dib away, laughing, as the human started to remove Zim's boots.

Dib laughed as Zim's crazed laugh increased. He tugged at the alien's pants and got them off, but that secret area was still covered by his shirt.

Dib groaned and fell to the floor and began to tear his clothes from his body…god he was so hot and sweaty, like a fever had come over him. When he stood up, totally naked, Zim was waiting and Dib removed the rest of his restricting Invader uniform before locking his arms around his lover once more to kiss, their mouths seemingly fused together. Dib trailed his mouth down the green neck, savoring the sweet, hot skin like candy. He moved further down to his chest, to his flat belly, to the place between his legs…oh…what's this?

Dib poked at Zim's private area which was a tightly sealed slit, almost like a human female, but Dib didn't know what lay behind those seductive folds of skin. Zim remained seated on the desk while Dib stood between his legs, prodding at his genitals. He rather liked the feel of Dib's fingers, and he ran his own hands through Dib's silky hair in pleasure.

"Dib," Zim said breathlessly with a sigh. Dib had forced open the slit to find something wonderfully strange. The inside was a deep red, like the inside of Zim's mouth and there appeared to be an opening, like a vagina, but above that, another tight slit…no clitoris. Hmm, Dib knew his human anatomy but what was that second sealed opening? No matter, he had his hole, to be crude. Dib smiled evilly and hopped on the table and crushed Zim under his weight. Zim didn't mind that his back was slightly arched due to the pak, it didn't matter, Dib was on top of him, suddenly piercing his virgin body with his human organ, so astonishingly large and hard and oh god the pain and the ecstasy of losing himself to Dib's merciless rhythm.

Zim squeezed his eyes shut. The Dib was hurting him, he knew it in the back of his mind, but his body craved more of the push and pull and the crazy amount of leaking fluids coming from his own body. Blood, his seedless semen definitely. Dib pounded so hard that the desk moved a few times, but Zim remained silent while relishing the gratifying pain. It wouldn't subside, no…something was giving way…the friction was building…something was burning…he was screaming.

Dib released as Zim screamed an unintelligible word. Had it been his name?

They were both satisfied, Dib more than Zim, who was breathless from Dib's beating, but he didn't have sense of mind to say anything negative to his human. Dib looked down at Zim, who gazed back up tiredly. Dib couldn't imagine how much affection he had for this alien right now! He kissed Zim softly a few times and his desire expanded not only to his body, but to his mind. The warmth in his heart grew with each inhalation of the green sweating skin and each blink of his red eyes sent him reeling in love…love.

"I love you Zim," Dib whispered as he kissed Zim's cheek. But Zim didn't say anything back, he just lay there, seemingly emotionless. It didn't bother Dib, though, because he knew that Zim felt something deep inside, love maybe, or maybe it was better and more profound than any human emotion.

Zim found one of Dib's hands and slid it into his own. This hand was his hand…Zim drifted off into a dreamless sleep with Dib following him into slumber.

…

A few days later…

Dib recalled that strange day. He woke up with a terrible headache and everything was blurry, even though he had his glasses on. Something warm was next to him and that something was good, but he had to get up. Where were his clothes? He found them on the floor and dressed immediately.

Where was that warm thing again? Where? WHERE?!? Oh god he couldn't find it! He stumbled towards the door, fumbled at the lock…he was in the high school's hall…fresh air…people in the hall, naked…outside…fire…smoke…

Zim.

Dib sat at his computer and typed every crazy thing he could remember about that day, which everyone called the "Pesticide Disaster!" Disaster it was, and Prof. Membrane thought it was the end of his career because his pesticide had turned out to be some kind of crazy love potion. The effects of stuff, initially, had caused some car crashes and some errant fires, but no one had been seriously injured. Membrane had the chemical destroyed immediately, despite Dib's protests to study the stuff. Think of the money you could make selling it to perfume companies! Well, that was just an idea.

Right now Dib tried to remember what exactly had happened between him and Zim. He definitely knew that they had had sex. The very thought of it made him squeamish, not only because it had been Zim, but because Zim had made him feel good feelings and that made him very uncomfortable.

He's an alien Invader! Dib screamed inside his head. He's rude, an ass, a jerk…how many more names can I come up with?!?

The most disturbing thing though, was that he could remember some of the act itself. The undressing. Zim's throaty and sensual laugher. So warm and so good.

And so gone. The next day at school, Dib and Zim could barely look at each other. How much does Zim remember? Dib asked, but, he couldn't ask Zim, besides, he knew by Zim's unusually timid behavior that he remembered something. Dib sighed and shut off his computer.

Time for bed. Dib drifted off to sleep, hopefully not to dream of his lover. He shut his eyes in that blissful state right before sleep hits the body and mind.

"I love you Zim…"

…