Shattered Remains
The Aftermath pt. 4
Beast Boy
Why? What has happened to me?
Beast Boy vaguely recalled what he had heard from the voice in his head. However, he had remembered one last thing the voice whispered to him.
"You are the cause of Terra's betrayal."
No…it was not my fault.
Beast Boy felt his eyelids pulse. Aware of his being, he opened them. He waited for the blur in his vision to leave.
Once his vision became clear, so did his thoughts. Beast Boy sensed faint movement.
He looked out of the door to see Starfire walking up a flight of stairs. Beast Boy, however, had neither the time, nor the will to follow her.
He sat up in his place, head still throbbing. He saw that Robin lay unconscious on the floor.
May as well leave now. I really don't want to talk to anyone right now, especially none of the Titans.
Beast Boy left the room, leaving Robin there alone.
Once out of the room, Beast Boy morphed into a hummingbird and flew upward, toward the top of the staircase.
Terra. It was my fault. If I had not let her think I lied… she would still be here with me.
I should have talked to her more. Instead, I let my damned nerves get the best of me. If I had spent more time with her, she would have known that I never told a soul. Then she never would have left in the first place. And then…Slade never would have gotten to her.
Beast Boy reached the top of the staircase. He passed up Starfire, who was also just reaching the top. But she appeared to be lost in her own little world.
Beast Boy continued to fly straight ahead. He flew through a lobby and continued down a long hall.
After turning another corner, he thought he had heard a faint shattering of glass, but he decided to press forward.
Beast Boy continued flying down a hall in the massive corporation that was Wayne Enterprises.
As he continued, he passed by a window, causing him to about face. He flew for the window and directly out of it and into the raining city of Gotham.
The rain somehow soothed him. It seemed to wash his troubles away, but not entirely. He could still feel himself being weighed down by his emotional torment.
Again, Beast Boy's mind wandered to Terra.
Terra. If you can hear me up there, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for driving you to your betrayal, which… in the end, led you to your death.
Beast Boy wanted so much to hear Terra's voice tell him that it was okay, but he knew that he would not hear it.
All he ever wanted was some closure. He merely wished to know that he was forgiven, that it would all be okay in the end. But Beast Boy's faith in anything and everything was shot.
Beast Boy morphed into an eagle and soared quickly through the rain.
Terra, I need you back in my life. I cannot stand not having you here with me. But I suppose I deserve this torment. Having you with me was a privilege…a privilege that I lost when I allowed you to leave. And for that I am sorry.
In the distance, Titans Tower came into view. Beast Boy continued to fly toward it. But when he came near the tower, he flew straight past it.
Not yet.
Beast Boy continued flying across Jump City, toward a place that filled him with so much emotion. He flew toward a place that, for Beast Boy, possessed the origin of all of his pain. He flew toward Slade's old hideout. Terra's burial ground, shrine, and memorial.
When he reached the caverns of the once active volcano, Beast Boy morphed back into a human.
As he walked through the tombs, his mind was flooded with memories of Terra and their battles together.
This place…really takes me back.
Beast Boy continued strolling through the cavernous volcano until he saw an earthen pillar in the distance. Atop the pillar was Terra, stoned in place.
Beast Boy crossed the shaft leading him to his lost love.
He finally reached the earthen body of Terra.
So many emotions rushed through him; sorrow, anger, love, loss. But one emotion dominated them all; regret. Regret that he ever let her leave. Regret that he could not see what she had been going through. Regret that he had driven her to her imminent demise.
"Terra." Beast Boy's throat was dry. "I know you can't hear me, but I came here to tell you how sorry I am. I'm so sorry that I couldn't save you…from yourself."
Beast Boy looked at the dead roses on her headstone.
He allowed his emotions to let loose. "Why Terra! Why did you have to leave me all alone?" The tears gushed from his eyes. "You have no idea what you've done to me! Every day since your death I have had to look in the mirror and hate myself, and you! Every day I have to hate the fact that I love you so damn much!"
Beast Boy dropped to the floor in tears. He was alone. There was no one to hold him, no one to save him, no one to protect him from himself…just like Terra. All there was, was…
"Get up off of the floor!"
Beast Boy looked up to see the Hive Five, led by Jinx, standing behind him.
He merely brushed them off and went back to wallow in his own messed up world.
"What the…?" Jinx said to herself.
Gizmo decided that he would approach the green Titan. "What's wrong with you, you green piece of snot! Get up and stop crying like a little baby!"
In his sudden rage, Beast Boy morphed into a gorilla and knocked Gizmo clear across the cavern.
The rest of the Hive Five looked at their fallen comrade.
Mammoth looked to Jinx. "May I…?" He asked, pounding his fists together.
Jinx waved him off, still looking at Beast Boy. "No. You guys pick up Gizmo and head back to Headquarters."
"But…" SeeMore questioned.
Jinx shot an evil sneer his way. "The boy is mourning over the loss of this chick. He's not a threat."
SeeMore nodded and led the rest of the team out of the volcano.
Once Jinx was sure they were gone, she reverted her attention back to Beast Boy.
Pathetic.
She approached him. "What is wrong with you?" She asked coldly.
Beast Boy ignored her. He had no time for her. He just wished she would leave him. Leave him to wallow.
"Hey, I'm talking to you." She was growing irritated.
Again, she received no reaction from the green changeling.
"What is wrong with y--?"
Beast Boy had cut her off by jumping up and grabbing her by the throat. He pushed her back.
"You need to leave!"
Beast Boy's tears fell freely this time. He felt no need to hold back. He stared into the panicked eyes of the sorceress.
"P-Please… I can't… breathe!" Jinx spoke in strained gasps.
Just as quickly as Beast Boy's rage reached it's peek he hit realization.
This is not me.
He let Jinx go, she dropped to the floor as the oxygen quickly ran into her lungs.
I am not a killer. I don't hurt people. This is not who I am. What is becoming of me?
Beast Boy thought it best to simply leave the girl there, allowing her to leave on her account. All of his worries about Terra were quickly washed away by the events playing out in front of him. However, they were replaced with new worries.
Am I becoming a monster again? I must go.
He thought to leave when Jinx looked up at him. Beast Boy's heart shattered.
The look of utter pain and terror in the girl's eyes made Beast Boy feel like he was a killer and a horrible person.
"I-I'm so sorry…" He whispered, kneeling to her level.
"N-No." She coughed out. "I should have let you be. You were no threat to me whatsoever."
Beast Boy was speechless. He had never spoken to the enchantress, but the feelings of remorse and regret she conveyed did not seem like her.
"It's not your fault… it is, after all, in your nature." Beast Boy hid the shock he felt at the harshness of his words.
Jinx's regretful façade was replaced with an angered one. "What is that supposed to mean?"
He couldn't back down now, not to her, not here, not in front of Terra. "Well you are a villain aren't you? It's your natural goal in life to cause people pain."
Jinx's rage had built up to climax. "You know nothing of me! Look here boy; you cannot simply judge me by what I do. Actions are not the only thing that defines a person. You assume that because I work for a villainous mastermind there is nothing else to me. Well you don't know the first thing about me!"
Beast Boy struck speechless. Never had he heard so much from the soft-spoken girl. Her words made him feel like the entire experience from earlier changed him.
He looked to the girl with saddened eyes. She shifted hers to the ground.
"I never wished to join with Slade and his plans." She spoke barely above a whisper. "All my life I was downtrodden because of my prowess. I had no friends; even my parents wanted nothing to do with me." She paused to look Beast Boy directly in his eyes. He saw the tears forming in her lavender orbs.
She continued. "Then I met Mammoth and Gizmo. We became like siblings since then. But they were consumed by the evil when Slade offered us positions on his force. Even since we accepted, we've grown apart from one another."
Beast Boy had no idea one so cold could possess so much depth. Suddenly, Jinx broke down in tears.
"I'm better off dead... than living this lie called a life."
Beast Boy could not help but feel drawn to this girl who had gone through so much. She vaguely reminded him of Terra.
Beast Boy stood and kneeled by the sorceress.
What do I even say to her? It's not like I actually know her… or even like her.
Then Beast Boy realized that he was going through the exact same thing she was. He felt like his death would make the world a better place. And he knew exactly what to say.
"I know exactly how you feel." He began, wearing a sad smile.
The girl looked up at the boy who was ever so close. "You do not know anything."
Beast Boy chuckled. "What, you didn't see me up here? I was bawling like a baby… but now I realized that her death was not my fault. And you are not at a fault either. You only wished to be accepted and there is nothing wrong with that. You found that acceptance in the first place you could. Granted, that place did not turn out to be the best place, but what other choice did you have?"
Jinx stared into the eyes of this boy who knelt before her. Feeling the sincerity of his words.
"Why?" She asked.
Beast Boy raised an eyebrow. "Why what?"
Jinx spoke at a whisper as her gaze fell to the ground once more. "Why would you waste your time…consoling one as shameful I?"
There was that pain again. Beast Boy could not explain why, maybe it was the fact that Jinx reminded him so much of Terra before her betrayal, but he was definitely drawn to the saddened girl.
He held her chin lightly in his hand and veered her to face him. Her eyes, however, remained on the ground.
"You're not shameful." He said to her. He whispered something else. "You're beautiful."
Jinx's eyes widened in surprise.
Did she hear me? Beast Boy swallowed hard.
Jinx looked up at the changeling before her. "What…did you say?" She asked tenderly.
Beast Boy's mind was racing. "I uh, nothing! I didn't say anything!" Beast Boy's attempts to hide the truth failed miserably.
"Did you say I am beautiful?" She asked, rising to her knees.
"W-What? No! I didn't say anything!" Beast Boy panicked in a mad frenzy, he had no idea what to do. He was slowly being boxed in.
"No one has ever told me that before." Jinx began to inch toward Beast Boy.
Now his heart was beating wildly. In his panic, Beast Boy fell back onto his elbows. Jinx slowly brought her body over his.
She stared into his eyes. Beast Boy could see the many emotions going through her mind.
Just as he began to protest, Jinx planted her full, soft lips on Beast Boy's.
That one kiss swept all of his worries away, Terra and everything around them, gone. All there was was Beast Boy and Jinx, trapped in a world of sensations beyond either of them.
Beast Boy slowly closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Jinx's slender waist, pulling her closer to him.
So many things about her, about this moment, sent his senses haywire.
The feelings of the warmth she projected all throughout her body filled the emptiness of Beast Boy's hollowed soul. The emptiness inside began to fill with that sensuous moment.
The sounds of their movements made his ears perk up. He continued to hear her voice in mind, speaking to him. The softness of her voice played over and over in his mind. He truly loved the sound of her voice.
Her beauty remained on his closed eyelids, staring him in the eyes. The visions of her showed him her true emotions and what she was truly feeling. His vision was clouded by her serenity.
The scent, which wafted through his nostrils, filled him with even more passion than he was already feeling. The sweet smell of cherry blossom left him dying for more of her.
But of all things, her taste dominated all. Beast Boy could taste the sweetness on the lips of this girl. Like a child in a child in a candy shop, he never wished to leave. And perhaps he never would.
The kiss became heated and passionate. Hands began to wander across warm bodies.
Beast Boy decided to slow things down, this was too great to rush through. He softly rolled Jinx over so that he was on top of her.
All he did was stare into her sated lavender eyes.
"So beautiful…" He whispered.
Their intensity and passion had caused Jinx's hair to flatten. Beast Boy spotted a loose strand of hair. He tucked it back behind her ear, and cupped the side of her face.
Beast Boy slowly leaned down to hover just above Jinx's lips. She shivered at the sensations of his warm breath on her lips. She hungered for more of him.
Beast Boy moved the final inch to connect their lips together. They slowly kissed, taking in each other's presence.
Jinx brought her arms up around Beast Boy's neck, slowly pulling him closer to her, never wishing to let go.
Beast Boy slipped his arms beneath Jinx's body. He pulled the two of them up so that they were standing.
Luckily for Beast Boy's ego, Jinx was slightly shorter than him.
Beast Boy held the enchantress close to him. Their body heat created sensual sensations once more.
He began to run his fingers through her silky hair.
They slowly broke away, Jinx's arms clasped around Beast Boy's neck and Beast Boy's arms wrapped firmly around her waist.
Neither of them ever wished to let go.
For a good moment they merely basked in each other's presence. Taking in all the atmosphere around them.
But the moment had been ruined when Jinx caught site of Terra. She looked to Beast Boy confusion filled her eyes. "Beast Boy, I don't know where this is going or how these feelings were even created. But… I need to know… are you dedicated to me?"
Beast Boy had no idea what to say, he could not just say, "Yeah baby." He hardly knew her and yet he was feeling all these things for her, the best way to go was to be as honest as possible. He did not want to ruin this amazing experience so soon. His next words could be truly fateful,
"Jinx, I don't know where all this came from either, but all I know is that me and you…we just felt so right. I don't know how to explain it any better than that. I mean, I don't know the first thing about you, but my heart just shattered when I saw your pain and torment. And when you kissed me…I knew that I wanted to be the one to make you smile."
Jinx knew his words were sincere. She could sense it in his body language and the sincerity in his eyes. His words had hit her heart in ways nothing else ever had. But there were still matters to attend to.
"Do you still…love her?" She asked softly.
Beast Boy definitely had not expected this question to rise. "Jinx… I… I am still in love with Terra. But she is in the past. It is time for me to move on."
Jinx stepped away from Beast Boy. "If you still love her… then I cannot be with you." Jinx turned to leave, a tear forming in her eye.
No. I'm not losing you now. Not yet. Not when I'm just learning all of these feelings even exist!
Beast Boy grabbed her hand. "No. I need you…to help me get over her. Jinx, you make me feel things I never experienced with Terra. Knowing that someday you will truly love me will put my old feelings for Terra to rest. Please… don't leave me here."
Jinx's eyes filled with tears of joy. She latched onto Beast Boy for dear life. He wrapped his arms tightly around her.
Never had she revealed such emotion to anyone. She never knew how good it felt to share these things. For so long, she had kept everything inside.
"Beast Boy…you have no idea how much I need you."
Beast Boy released slightly look into Jinx's eyes. Confusion had filled him. "What do you mean?"
Her mouth trembled as she tried to hold back tears. Jinx let out a sigh as she prepared to reveal this to him. "I just…got so sick of my useless existence. I hated Slade and having to lead one of his units. I had no purpose anymore." She paused to look into Beast Boy's eyes. "Beast Boy, one week ago I had begun plotting my suicide."
Just when he thought this girl could not make him feel any more sorrow for her than she already had, she hit him with this. "Jinx…" He now knew that Jinx was here to stay. They would need each other through their difficult times.
Jinx just grasped onto him, never wanting to let go. She had found home. Here in Beast Boy's arms, she felt loved, cared for. She felt like she had…purpose. Beast Boy had given her the purpose she had so desperately searched for.
Beast Boy looked into Jinx's eyes. "Look," he began. "We'll just take this one day at a time."
She nodded, smiling at the boy who had come to her rescue even when he was in so much pain.
"Thank you…so much Beast Boy."
Beast Boy just smiled at the girl in his arms, still taking in her wonderful scent. They would help each other so much in their lives.
As long as they had each other, they could dominate the oppression of their haphazard emotions.
"Could you take me with you to the Tower?" She asked quietly.
Beast Boy looked at her, silently questioning her.
"I want nothing to do with the Hive or Slade anymore Beast Boy. All I want is you. I would much sooner join the Titans if it meant that I'd be closer to you."
This girl never ceased to amaze him. She was willing to give up so much. Change her life, everything about her just so that she could be with him.
"Sure. Come on."
He scooped Jinx up in his arms and planted a kiss on her lips. "Let's go home."