How The Marquis Got His Coat Back
Far Beneath London Above,
I searched for my long lost love.
Whose beauty was renown in the sewer,
Her eyes, her tail & a smell like manure.
There I cam across a man,
Who saw me and turned and ran.
A man who I thought to long be dead,
A man who owed me more than can be said.
So I chased the Marquis.
Until he turned and said to me.
"Temple and Arch what do you want from me?"
"Precisely what you owe me and quickly."
So I told him of my wife,
How she had fled from a kitchen knife.
And was lost somewhere in London Below,
"So I'm calling in that favour you owe."
"I wish I could help you kid,
But I'm looking for a coat that's well hid."
He turned to walk away from me,
"I know where your coat is," I said quickly.
"But it will cost you a lot more,
Than what you bargained for."
"Whatever you want but I need that coat,"
"Good. Then let us go and hire a boat."
Two days the journey took us,
And we left with the minimum of fuss.
And arrived at our destination late,
And found out we would have to wait.
When the morning came at last,
I told the Marquis of his task.
Who swore if he lived he'd have my whiskers for a fiddle.
"I hate Sphinxes and their bloody blasted riddle."
We found her, alone, in her lair,
"My, my what an unlikely pair.
You know the rules and what you have to get right,
Otherwise you'll be satisfying my appetite."
She grinned at us her teeth bared,
"Now here is the question," she declared.
"Man made flesh to protect you from the weather,
Not made of dragon, or chicken but of leather."
"A leather trenchcoat of course,"
"Well it was easy," she said with force.
"What with budget cutbacks and writers block too,
Now hurry up with your question-I'm missing Doctor Who."
"I'm looking for my trenchcoat,"
It's with his wife- don't you dare gloat!"
We left the poor sphinx with her TV show,
And tried to figure out where to go.
The Marquis now led the way,
To a place he thought she would stay.
We passed through Shepherd, Raven and Earl,
But we could not find my treasured Pearl.
We travelled all day and all eve,
Until we had given up almost all belief.
We tiredly collapsed in an abandoned hay loft,
When I heard a startled cry so soft.
There lay my wife with six ratlings,
Tucked into a nest of many fine things.
And lining the nest was a very fine coat,
I looked at the Marquis and began to gloat.
"Just make sure you clean it before you return it Mack!"
And that is how the Marquis got his coat back.