Disclaimer: Characters and settings are property of J.K. Rowling. What you don't recognize is mine. And I wish I owned the Marauders (specifically Sirius and Remus) but most unfortunately, I do not.

Highlights of the last chapter: Remus's birthday is upcoming; Lily and James go on something that is resemblant of a date (yes, apparently that IS a word, more on that in the author's note at the bottom); Remus gets lots of presents, and there are some slashy undertones to Remus and Sirius's usually platonic banter but I SWEAR they won't develop… they'll just remain undertones. No worries… they're both straight. Not that I have any problem with them being gay, but in THIS fic, it's straight. Sorry to any slash-shippers!

X-X-X-X-X

As it turned out, Snape did have a very bad day. He tripped fourteen times, and he was fairly certain that none of those times was his fault. While he sat in the library, leaning close to the tiny print to read it, the book slammed shut on his nose more than once. As he sat in the Great Hall, carefully writing out his essays in neat, cramped print, his quills squirted ink into his face and his inkbottles overturned on his essay twice.

And that was just the beginning.

After three mishaps involving a suit of armor, a jar of green sparkly paint, and a bucket of very cold and very soapy water, Lily, flanked by her four wet and shivering friends, confronted a quartet of mischief makers, sitting in the Come and Go room, pouring over a sheet of ratty parchment that was quickly whipped from sight when the girls entered.

"This has got to stop," Lily seethed, shoving her sopping curls into Sirius's face. "I've had enough."

"Lily Flower, my darling," Sirius began in a charming voice. "You seem ever so angry, and I cannot imagine why."

Marlene stomped forward to join her friend, scowling. "Quit your flowery words, Black," she snapped, holding out her wet, frizzy hair. "You're a boy, and so I can understand how you wouldn't know that water makes hair frizzy, particularly when that hair is frizzy to begin with but has been laboriously straightened so that a girl might look nice for her date in the evening."

"We're not targeting you specifically, poppet," Sirius answered consolingly, a slow grin forming on his face. Lily glowered at his three friends, who sat behind him, helpless with laughter. "You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time." His eyes skimmed over the remaining three, as furious as Lily and Marlene. "…Er, all of you."

"Could you please warn us, then?" Alyssa demanded. "As in, tell us where not to go and when?"

"Of course not, darling." James smiled sweetly. "That would take all the fun out of it."

"Fun for who, exactly?" Janine asked dangerously, her eyes glittering with suppressed rage.

"For whom, not for who," Remus corrected pleasantly. Ordinarily, he would have apologized, but this was tradition. And traditions had to be upheld.

Janine responded by telling him to go do something that would have made her mother shriek. Peter looked cheerful as he asked, "Is that even possible?"

Lily threw her hands up. "Why are you doing this?" she demanded of the four boys. "Does it have a point? Or is it merely useless fun for you four? Because here's a newsflash: we could get your hides whipped by Filch for all the mess he's hand to clean up all day. All the mess that stems from you. He might even be so thrilled that we brought him the perpetrators that he'll even let us watch if when he whips you. What do you have to say to that?"

"Only that you wouldn't do it," replied James cheekily. Lily raised an eyebrow. "No, really. You wouldn't do it."

"House loyalty and all that," contributed Sirius.

"Speaking of house loyalty," suggested Jen angrily, "I suppose you were displaying it in great quantities when you had those suits of armor block the portrait hole, did you? Because we were shouting for someone to let us out for an hour. Then Lily had the presence of mind to floo Professor McGonagall in her office and ask for help."

"An hour? Wow. We'd been betting on fifteen minutes, maybe twenty. But an hour?" Peter whistled. "That's even better than we hoped for." Jen scowled at him; he grinned in response.

"Ladies, please." James made a formal bow to them from his seat. "We are the Purveyors of Magical Mischief. How can we live up to our names if we don't go around purveying?"

Janine placed her hands on her hips. "No more pranks," she ordered the boys.

Ordinarily, this might have produced some sort of effect – at least from one the boys showing a little contrition, turning and telling the others that maybe they should stop. Instead, she received four cheeky grins. "No can do, babe," Sirius told her, propping his chin up in one hand. "By the way, did you see the way we got Snape's nose in the library? Priceless."

Lily spun on him, fuming. "You can not treat people like that!"

"Why?"

"Why? Why? Because it's wrong, that's why! It's – it's awful! Despicable! Sirius Black, do you know how many people must have no self-esteem due to you and your little friends and your so-called fun?"

"Forty?" he guessed. "Fifty?"

"SIRIUS BLACK!"

"Listen," Remus finally began earnestly, his eyes shining. "This happens five times a year. This all-out pranking. April Fool's, and the day after our birthdays. It's tradition. You can't go around breaking tradition."

"It's a bad tradition," Janine said, scowling.

"So's the wizarding one that makes most of us inbred morons," James muttered. "But people still do that, don't they?" Lily's eyes flashed angrily at him.

"Then we'll work hard to change that one," Lily retorted. "And you should change this one. Those water balloons in the Great Hall could really hurt someone."

"Evans…"

"We didn't get caught in them," interjected Jen. "But loads of people did. And the flying books in the library? Guys, at least three people have gone to Madam Pomfrey, begging for a potion to reduce the swelling."

"They should learn to duck faster, then," replied Sirius unsympathetically. "Honestly, is it our fault that they're too blind when a great flying object comes towards them?"

"They got hit in the back of the head, idiot."

"Well, someone could have warned them. Honestly. If books were flying at my friend's back, I'd think to warn them." He glanced at James. "Oh, well, maybe not."

Lily stormed forward and leaned down until her nose was just inches from Sirius's. "You. Are. Not. Going. To. Prank. Us. Any. More. Got that?"

"I am not going to prank you anymore," he repeated obediently. Lily stepped back, satisfied, at least until he murmured, "Well, not specifically you, anyway. But I'll tell you this much – if you don't want to get caught in all the mayhem, skip dinner."

"Why?" Jen's eyes were suspicious. "What are you going to do?"

Sirius swept a bow. "That, milady, is for me to know and you to find out."

X-X-X-X-X

And so it was that Lily Evans and co. entered the Great Hall with no small amount of trepidation, looking warily about, searching for falling buckets or flying food.

But the ceiling only depicted the clear night sky, with hundreds of stars twinkling merrily down at them, and everyone else was deeply involved in discussion, either about the day's antics or other nonsensical gossip.

Lily took her seat warily, a deeply etched frown on her face as she glanced at the four boys down the table, noting their wide grins. That should have been enough to tip anyone off. "What do you think they've planned?"

"Not sure," Marlene replied, warily poking her potatoes with her fork as Alyssa inspected her pumpkin juice suspiciously. "Maybe we ought to have skipped dinner, you know." She set her fork down. "Come on. Let's make a run for it while we – ARGH!"

Everyone whirled as a large balloon, filled with pumpkin juice, splattered directly onto Marlene's head, causing her to shriek. There was a tense pause as everyone waited, glancing up occasionally – but no more came.

"Miss McKinnon," McGonagall began irritably, striding towards them, "What is the matter of-" She cut off abruptly as a balloon splattered near her feet.

She glanced up – there were no more coming – and whirled on the boys. "What have you done?" she demanded.

It seemed to have set off a bomb. All of a sudden, balloons were raining down around them. Janine, Jen, and Alyssa shrieked, covering their heads with their arms – Lily didn't even bother; she just ducked under the table.

At the other end of the table, she saw the four Marauders, sniggering behind their hands and shaking with their laughter as they listened to the yells and shrieks from above their heads. Scowling, Lily began to crawl towards them – cursing loudly the two times she banged her head on the table – until she reached the nearest one, Peter.

She grabbed him. "MAKE. IT. STOP."

"What are you complaining for, Evans?" Sirius grinned at her. "You're down here and dry, aren't you?" He glanced at her arms, splattered from the juice. "Well, mostly. Want me to lick those off for you?"

"Ugh. You're a dog, Sirius Black." For some reason, this set the four off into hysterics again. She gave them all her best don't-mess-with-me scowl. "I mean it, now. Stop this nonsense. You've had your fun." They all grinned at her, and she added, in her most threatening voice, "Don't make me put you all in detention for the rest of your lives."

"Ah, but Lily," James explained with a grin, leaning towards her, "You'll do that anyway, won't you?"

"MISS EVANS!" Lily's head jerked up and she stared at a livid McGonagall. "I had not expected you to be part of this… this…"

"Harmless fun?" suggested Sirius slyly.

"Be quiet, Mr. Black! Detention! All of you! All five of you!"

"But I didn't do any-"

"You'll start by cleaning up this mess. Without magic. And believe me, I'll know if you use it." She straightened up and stormed off.

Lily turned to scowl at the four boys, who were still grinning. "Oh, thanks a lot."

"Look at it this way," Remus offered with a slow smile. "You get to spend more time grilling us, right?"

She groaned.

X-X-X-X-X

James groaned. It was like taking one step forward, and two steps backward. On Remus's birthday, Lily and James had almost resembled something like friends. Now, Lily scowled whenever she saw him.

All right, so we could have told McGonagall that she had nothing to do with it, but still…

Days had passed, weaning into March. Well, never mind Evans. More important things are coming up.

More important things like my birthday.

James had been dropping hints to his friends constantly – things like, "Gee, that surprise party was fun, eh? I almost wish someone would give me one!"

"For the love of Merlin, Prongs, shut up." Sirius glanced up from where he was carefully writing out a Transfiguration essay in as large writing as he could. "We got the message. You want a surprise birthday party. Right. Okay. Written it down in my homework planner, except I haven't got one. Happy now?"

"Are you going to give me a surprise party?"

"No. Not with you carrying on like you do. We'll probably just sneak some Firewhisky, get drunk, and try to make it through classes while fighting the pangs of a hangover and perform a couple of half-arsed pranks just to uphold tradition. Okay?"

"Okay." James had deflated slightly by now. "It wouldn't be as much fun, though. I still think you guys should give me a-"

Sirius chucked his transfiguration book at James's head, and James wisely departed.

He found Lily working in the library, and remembered something he'd wanted to show her. First, though, he figured he'd better get her talking to him. "Hey, Lily, a word?"

She shot him a slightly poisonous look and said, in a voice that might have been conversational but for the underlying venom, "Did you know that until the beginning of this month, I'd never had a detention in my life?" Then she scowled. "Oh, hang on, wait. Last month, I got another detention because you punched the boy who asked me out."

"You punched me back and gave me a nosebleed," James replied meekly. Lily scowled. "Er… sorry?"

"Well, that won't make the detentions go away, now will it?" She took a deep breath and blew her bangs from her face. "You know something? Just forget about it. You're forgiven, assuming you were here to apologize."

He hadn't been, actually, but he decided to go along with her anyway. "Yeah. Er… that and something else."

"Yes?"

To her surprise, he strode over to the nearest bookcase, pulled down a very fat book, and thumped it in front of her, muttering to himself. At long last, he pronounced, "Aha!" and jabbed at the page with a finger. Confused, Lily leaned closer and read:

Resemblant Resem"blant (-blant) See resemble Having or exhibiting resemblance; resembling

Lily stared at it blankly, uncomprehending. "What exactly are you trying to prove?" she finally asked in confusion.

"That I was right!" James replied triumphantly. "Don't you remember, that night at the Three Broomsticks?" Her look was slowly giving way to one of dawning comprehension, and James started to nod enthusiastically. "Yeah, exactly, see? It is a word!"

She stared at him now. "I cannot believe you went through all that trouble to prove this to me."

"Aren't you impressed?"

"You are either completely focused on impressing me or absolutely ridiculous," Lily replied wryly, "and I'm not sure which."

"Both?" he suggested, and Lily rolled her eyes. Now that his point was proven, James reshelved the dictionary, saying, "So, what are you reading now? Demonic Taxonomy again?"

"Hardly; I finished that ages ago." James turned around to see her hide the book in her lap, cheeks pink.

"Then what are you reading?" James asked again. He'd been polite before; now he was curious. Was she blushing? It looked like it, which meant she was embarrassed. "Come on, let me see, I won't laugh if it's something incredibly dorky-"

He and Lily were soon engaged in a tussle over the book, which James eventually won after an almighty tug that sent him flying backwards and onto his behind. Dazedly, he glanced at the book and snorted, before glancing up at a very red Lily. "The Wings of Thestrals? Oh, God, this is shit, Lily. Janine wanders around reading these trashy novels – and I always figured you were better than this!"

"It was a deal," Lily retorted, snatching it bag and stuffing it into her bag, still bright red. "She has to read Shakespeare. Not," she added disparagingly, "that you'd know what or who Shakespeare is. I suppose Remus is the only one of you who's remotely cultured-"

"Shakespeare's that muggle playwright of the 1700s, right?" James asked curiously, getting off the floor.

Lily stopped in the middle of packing her bag, her eyes widening. "Early 1600s, actually, or late 1500s," she replied in surprise. "I can't believe you know!"

"I'm not uneducated, you know," James replied, pretending to look hurt. "I have read Shakespeare occasionally." Only when Moony shoves it down my throat, but still…

"Have you read Romeo and Juliet? Macbeth? A Midsummer Night's-"

"Whoa, I didn't say I was that educated, either! Although…" He frowned thoughtfully. "Romeo's the prat who's in love with the daughter of his family's enemies, right?"

"Well, yes, but – he's not a prat! He's… he's romantic, and heroic, and-"

"He's mooning after a girl he barely knows," interrupted James.

"And how, pray tell, is that any different from you?"

James blinked in surprise. "Oh, well, that was just low, Evans. Besides, if you think Romeo's so romantic and all that, why don't you think I am, too?"

"I – I – oh!" She flung her arms up into the air. "All my attempts to have serious, thought-provoking conversations go all wrong!"

James wasn't sure how to respond to that, so he shrugged and moved on to another topic. "So, if you think I'm romantic, will you go out with me?"

As James ran from the library, Lily shrieking after him and Madam Pince shrieking after her, he thought rather woefully that it was the second time that day he'd had a book chucked at him.

X-X-X-X-X

March 18th came around surprisingly fast. James woke up to a dark, empty dormitory. He glanced around, perplexed. Where was all the fanfare, the streamers, the balloons, the Firewhisky, the naked and swooning women?

(All right, so the last one was debatable, but still.)

All he found was, on the floor, a single white lily, and a folded note underneath. Curious, he picked it up and read, scowling.

Dear Prongsie:

Happy Birthday! Bet you're wondering where we all are, eh? See, we've got this thing called class. Maybe you remember it. Anyway, here's the deal – we decided, since you're the birthday boy, we ought to leave you in bed. To sleep.

Oh, and Petey slipped a sleeping potion into your dinner last night. Prob'ly why you're so tired, but you prob'ly don't remember that. You can thank me later. Janine and Jen brewed it, so if you want to get back at someone, exact your revenge on them.

Anyway, it's probably about noon now or so – so I suggest you just skip classes and hang around the room. We'll bring you class notes and homework and stuff later – we told Minnie you're sick, so never fear.

What great friends you have. Lying and sneaking just so you can sleep in on your birthday. Aren't we nice? Does the flower remind you of a certain redhead?

Hugs and slobbery kisses,

Pads

James crumpled up the paper and threw it aside. Stupid friends. Some birthday this is going to be, he thought sourly. He showered and dressed lazily in jeans and an old Quidditch jumper, and then went down to the empty common room.

"Damn it all, Padfoot, you suck at throwing a nice surprise for the birthday boy," James grumbled.

"Well, now, I wouldn't say that." James whirled, startled – his three friends stood by fireplace, all dressed in jeans and jumpers. James blinked. "Bet you thought we'd abandoned you, didn't you? Prat. You got your cloak? The invisible one, Prongs, not your regular one."

"I… what?"

"So stupid. You wanted a surprise, eh? So we figured we'd do something different. We're sneaking out. Into Hogsmeade." Sirius grinned. "Going to spend the day there, too, and get drunk off our arses tonight. We'll have to prank tomorrow, of course, it's tradition-"

"We're going to have an awful time explaining this to McGonagall," Remus said with a grin, "so you'd better start thinking of ideas now."

"Go get the cloak," pressed Peter. "We've already lost a lot of hours because you slept in too much."

"It's not my fault," James replied hotly, though he couldn't keep from grinning. "You idiots made the potion too strong. By the way, where was the need to give me that?"

"Gave us time to… er… set things up. Your cloak should be on your bed, by the way, if you didn't notice it," added Remus. "We had to borrow it."

James gave them a fleeting grin before loping up the stairs to get it.

X-X-X-X-X

Of course, four sixteen-year-old boys were not going to fit under one cloak, and so it was decided that Peter would sneak out as a rat, and Sirius as a dog. For a large dog, Sirius was remarkably sneaky and able to blend into the shadows well. And squeezing under the cloak together, Remus and James followed them down.

They passed students, busily on their way to the Great Hall. James wanted to stop off for lunch; Remus wouldn't let him. "We're not in uniform," Remus hissed, dragging him away from the doors. "Besides, Rosie's set something great up for us at the Three Broomsticks; do you really want to miss that?"

James grudgingly admitted that no, he didn't want to miss that, and they were off again.

When at last they reached Hogsmeade an hour later, with all the villagers at the height of their afternoons, they'd found a great dog sitting in the back alley of the Three Broomsticks, and then snuck in the back door. It was, of course, packed, but Rosmerta pointed them through a door to the back room, the special room.

And it was a special room. It was the private booth, where Rosmerta conducted business and sometimes allowed important people, if she were in a generous mood. But the four Marauders were her favorite customers, and she did just about anything for them. With a smile and a wink, she'd set four Butterbeers in front of them before vanishing to take care of the front.

"So, to our dearest Jamsie, from us, on his seventeenth birthday," Sirius toasted, lifting his tankard high. Three others clanked against (Peter had to practically stand up to reach), and then the four friends drank deeply. Sirius drained his first, slamming it down with a sort of finality onto the tabletop. "And another!"

And so the boys continued on with their lunch, not drinking enough to get entirely drunk, but enough for James to feel sufficiently tipsy. By the end of their lunch (well, their third lunch, anyway, as Sirius kept going back for more, even after they'd left and wandered the town twice already), James's friends were grinning at him devilishly.

I don't like their looks, he thought, as his friend hauled him up by his arms and proceeded to drag him back out into the fray of the Three Broomsticks, headed for a portrait of a younger Rosmerta, probably aged fifteen, leaning on a countertop. The portrait-Rosie winked at James, and he began to get a very bad feeling…

X-X-X-X-X

"Miss Evans, I don't suppose you've seen your fellow prefect?" Lily started and turned, only pausing to wave her curious friends on. She turned to fully face Professor McGonagall and frowned.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Seen your fellow prefect," the older woman repeated patiently. "Or his cohorts, for that matter."

"…No." Lily blinked. She had realized they were missing, of course, but hadn't though much of it until now. After all, she wasn't their keeper, was she? But then, it was a bit strange for all four of them to go missing like that, especially for the entire day. One of them, maybe. All of them for half a day, it was possible. But all of them, all day? Highly unlikely.

"Not even this morning, on your way from the tower?"

"No, Professor." McGonagall was already looking down the hall after Lily's friends, however, so Lily felt compelled to add, "I doubt they know either. We've been together all day, too."

"Hmm…" McGonagall frowned. "Oh, bugger it." Lily's eyes went huge as McGonagall's cross wording, but the professor didn't appear to notice that Lily was there any longer. "Those silly boys are up to no good again, I'm sure. Well, Miss Evans…" She sighed. "Run along, then, and enjoy the rest of your evening. I imagine you must have some work to do – and do send those four down to me if you find them, please?"

"Of course, Professor. Would you like me to check their dormitory?"

"Oh, I doubt they'd be foolish enough to hide in there, but you may as well. I believe I'll go see the Headmaster… honestly, all four of them missing for this long, it's strange…" Lily's head of house stalked off, muttering to herself. Lily just shook her head and hastened to catch up with her friends.

She eventually caught up with them, lounging around the common room. Jen's tie now hung loosely from her neck; Alyssa's hair, having been done up in a neat bun, was now loosely arrayed about her face; Marlene had kicked off her shoes, revealing her favorite pink socks, the right one with the hole at the big toe; Janine's shirt was half undone, showing off the pale yellow camisole beneath. The four glanced up as Lily came in.

"What did McGonagall want to ask you about?" Marlene asked, moving her feet to the floor so that Lily could sit down.

"Wanted to know where the boys were," she responded, without taking the seat. "I'm going to go take a look-see at the boys' dorm to see if they're in there. D'you want to come?" She'd only offered out of politeness; she hardly expected any of them to agree.

To her surprise, Janine stood up, brushing off her skirt. "Come on, then," she said, nudging Jen's thigh with her foot. "Let's go snoop."

"We're not going to snoop," Lily scolded. "Just to see if they're there."

"Sure, sure. Aren't you just a bit curious what they keep up there? I bet, if the boys have a free chance to get into our dorms, they'd have read all of our diaries," Alyssa murmured, sitting up.

"Never mind that the only one of us who has a diary is Marly, and hers is well-protected," Jen retorted, but she was grinning. "Oh, go on, Lil, let's just take a peek." Lily sighed, but she allowed them to follow her. They reached the dormitory and, without so much as a pause, pushed the door opened.

Lily started. She'd expected a messy room, but this was actually quite neat. Lily had been here a few times before, to shout at the boys or occasionally swipe something back from James, something he'd stolen, and then there had been clothes everywhere, books tossed about the room, broomsticks lolling about on the floor. Now, the room was spick-and-span, everything in its place, two broomsticks (Sirius and James's, no doubt) lined up near to the door, all the trunks set smoothly at the foot of the beds.

"Well, I didn't expect it to look at all like this," Janine exclaimed, "but it makes it easier to put everything in its place, doesn't it? Come on, Lil, I want to see what's in Sirius's trunk."

"Why?"

"Why? Because I'm curious, that's why. What sort of question is that? Come on." She knelt and quickly undid the clasp with expert fingers, throwing it open and beginning to carefully rifle though. Anything she took out, she carefully set beside her without mussing it.

Within moments, Alyssa and Marlene were searching Peter's wardrobe, and Jen had begun to tentatively sift through Remus's bedside drawer.

And there, sitting at the foot of a bed not far from Lily, was a trunk, beautiful made and with a golden plate bearing J.E.P. "James E. Potter," she breathed, and unable to contain herself, opened it.

Copying Janine's example, she began to set things gently to the side. Her insides squirmed guiltily at this invasion of privacy, but after all, what could Potter possibly have hidden in here? And she was right, too – she only found clothes, some old Quidditch magazines and a few others (Lily found a copy of Playwizard, and hastily hid it at the very bottom) before coming across a plain red journal.

"Well, would you look at that," Lily murmured. "Potter has a diary."

In a flash, Janine had swooped over and snatched it up. Lily noticed she was wearing a thick silver watch with sapphires for knobs, as well as a blue jumper that was so large it hung halfway to her knees. She began to flip through James's journal experimentally.

Lily gasped. "Janine! You can't read that, it's private, it's… it's such an invasion, it's… why the hell are you laughing?"

For she was. Alyssa, Marlene, and Jen quickly crowded around, read a few of the sentences, and began to laugh loudly. "Listen to this!" Jen cried, as the other girls howled with laughter. "January 6, 1976, 9:42 AM - Subject is very cranky in the morning and has been eating sherbet balls non-stop. Has been seen levitating slightly in classes. Was very angry when offered to help her pick up the quills she had dropped five minutes ago. May be time of the month. Will go ask… January 6, 1976, 9:46 AM – Subject has given me black eye. Is definitely time of the month." Jen looked up, her eyes dancing. "Sound familiar, Lils?"

Lily snatched the journal from Jen, and began to read, fury emanating from her with every passing moment. When she next glanced up, all four of her friends had wisely backed off, although they all appeared to still be fighting laughter. "This… this is… God, he's talking about me as though I were a… a…"

"Experiment?" Alyssa suggested carefully, and squeaked when Lily let out a shriek of fury and chucked James's Playwizard magazine at her. Lily's fingers clutched the red journal so tightly that her fingers began to turn white. She shrieked again (all of her friends clutched their hands over their ears) and kicked James's trunk so hard that it toppled over, spilling all his things.

"Oh, God, he is so going to die for this," she hissed, and stormed from the boys' dorm, not even bothering to put James's things back.

X-X-X-X-X

James stared around the tiny room they'd just entered. A single fireplace, with a plain red jar on top. "Come on, then," Sirius said impatiently, "it's nearly four o'clock, you know, and we haven't got all day…"

"Where are we going?" James asked, but Sirius refused to answer, and Remus and Peter only gave him light shoves in the back, grinning.

"You'll see." Sirius snagged some floo powder from the jar, and stepped into the grate, pulling James with him, both of them stooping so as not to bump their heads. "Thestral Wings," he announced, and within moments, they were spinning away.

James, for one, hated floo travel – it made him floo-sick – but he arrived without feeling too nauseous, nearly collapsing but being caught by Sirius at the last possible moment. He blinked.

They were in a bar – a more-or-less empty bar, but a bar nevertheless. "Pads, it's four o'clock in the afternoon and you brought me to a bar," James complained loudly. "Are you nuts?"

"No, but most people think I am." Sirius gestured with a flick of his hand, and he and the other two Marauders led James into a back room. "So, here are your presents, the ones from the four of us, anyway. The girls wanted to give you their themselves, so you'll have to wait for theirs."

"Did Lily get me a present?"

"How the hell should I know? C'mon, mate, we've got some hours left until the day's over. We're in Diagon Alley, by the way. Thestral Wings was just the password to get us into this place." Sirius grinned widely. "Are you surprised?"

"Where exactly are we?"

"Wizarding night club."

"It's not night," James pointed out reasonably.

"No, it's not," agreed Remus from behind him. "Not yet, anyway. But I do want you to know that Sirius planned all of this, so if you insist on blaming someone for anything that happens tonight, you can blame him."

"Believe me, you won't be blaming anybody after tonight." Sirius hauled on a trunk, pulling it from a corner. He kicked it open. "All right, lads, let's take our pick!"

It was a trunk full of clothes, to James's surprise. And what clothes they were. He saw Sirius enthusiastically shed his Gryffindor jumper for a lime green shirt and ocean blue pants. His eyebrows flew up as Sirius struck a pose. "Do I look hot, or what?"

"I suppose to Janine you would," Remus replied grudgingly, brandishing a pair of purple trousers. "I ask you, who would wear this stuff? Sirius, where'd you get all this?"

"My Uncle Alphard," Sirius replied flippantly. "Alfie's got a load of rubbish in his flat, you know." James, who had only met the flamboyant and adventurous Uncle Alphard once, could believe that.

Several hours later, with clothes having been discarded in all directions, only to be later picked up and then discarded again, James had chosen a tomato red shirt ("Boring," announced Sirius, who was still striking poses in his lime green shirt for a mirror, which regularly proclaimed, "Fabulous, dah-ling!" at him) and shiny gold pants ("Honesty, James," Remus had said, grinning, "you can't even let the Gryffindor thing go for a night, can you?"), Sirius had kept his lime green shirt but traded in his blue pants for a pair of tight leather trousers, Remus had pulled on the purple trousers and a silvery-shirt with a strangely ruffled collar and cuffs, and Peter had chosen a pair of turquoise trousers, shiny calf-high black books, a floaty, loose white shirt, and a necklace of heavy turquoise-colored stones.

The four boys lined up in front of the mirror, all striking various poses. Although he hadn't drunk anything yet, James felt slightly giddy with excitement. Sirius grinned, bending over to examine his arse. "We look hot," he declared.

"Most definitely," agreed Remus, surprising them all. "Does anybody have a camera?"

"Yes," Peter said suddenly, digging through the large mountain of presents that had collected on the table by the fireplace. "A lot of your ex-girlfriends sent gifts," Peter explained to James, "And I took the liberty of going through them to make sure they weren't… er… hexed, or anything."

"Some of them were rather funny, though," Sirius admitted as Peter began rummaging for the camera. "Do you know, one girl sent you a set of bright red lingerie? Although I think that it's more for her than it is for you…"

"Who was it from?" James thought eagerly as Remus held it up gingerly. For some reason, an unbidden picture of Lily wearing it came into his mind – and then Sirius snatched it from Remus and held it up against himself, batting his eyelashes, and James went to a very bad mental place. Remus brought him back by glanced at the tag.

"Audrey Caphis."

"Audrey who?"

"God, Jimmy, you dated her at the beginning of the year when Travers bashed your skull in. Remember?" James fought to, and then recognition lit his eyes.

"Oh! Her. Blimey, I don't think red's her color – Sirius, mate, you want this? Bet Janie would look good in it." Sirius scowled at James for that; James shrugged. "Well, she probably would. Or Jen, too, Remus, you could take it." Remus scowled at James, too. "Man, let's all attack the birthday boy, eh? Fine, I'll give it to Prewett so he can give it to McKinnon. She looks good in red, too."

"I think you should just burn it and forget you got it from anyone," Sirius declared. "That way, when she asks you what happened to it, you can just pretend you never got it, or something." Peter had set up the camera, and it was madly clicking pictures of them striking various poses. James rolled his eyes.

"Thanks, Pads."

"Hey, no sweat. Ready to go out and get pissed?"

"Most definitely," James responded with a wide grin. Sirius opened to the door to the now hopping club, and James strode confidently in.

X-X-X-X-X

Several hours later, James could barely remember his own name. All he knew was that a very curvaceous barmaid kept handing him Firewhiskies and winking at him as she flipped long blond hair over one shoulder, leaning forward and giving him a nice view of her ample cleavage.

But, for the first time in his life, James wasn't interested. Even though he was drunk. It was all he could do not to tell the woman to sod off, that he was in love with Lily Evans, and that it would be like cheating on her even though they weren't dating.

James finally stumbled away and collapsed into a corner booth, his entire head one massive ache from Firewhisky after Firewhisky, plus a few other drinks that Sirius "swore by." As he gazed out into the throngs of the club, he saw Peter at the bar, flirting with the barmaid he'd just left, and then Remus, who was doing a line of vodka shorts, and then Sirius, who was dancing in the very middle of the club, surrounded by at least five women, all of whom looked to be too old for him.

James grinned as a redheaded girl slid into a seat next to him, curling her fingers on his arm. "Hi," she said, her voice breathy and giggly.

"Hi," he slurred. "S'your name Lily?"

"No," she giggled, "but you can call me that if you want. Why're you sitting over her all by yourself? Somebody as good looking as you," she said, "should not be by himself on his birthday. Come dance with me."

James was only too happy to oblige her. He followed her dumbly onto the floor until he was a few feet away from Sirius, who winked at him. His hands on his hips, her arms twining about his neck – and James lost himself to a drunken haze of bodies, music, and more alcohol, dancing with a redheaded girl who let him call her Lily.

X-X-X-X-X

Author's Note: So I'm really enjoying the mental image of Sirius Black in a lime green shirt and tight leather pants, aren't you:) Ok, so seriously – apparently resemblant IS a word, which, according to Microsoft word, it's NOT. Granted, it's a computer and not fool-proof, but whatever. So, what were James's birthday presents? I don't know. I'll include them in the next chapter if I'm in a good mood. Yeah, and I bet you all thought I'd FORGOTTEN about that diary. Well, never fear – I get the feeling it was more LIKE ten steps backwards rather than two for James and Lily now, huh? Tough luck for them… and yeah, I'm pretty sure McGonagall would know better than to assume that Lily was in on the prank, but it's the whole one-step-forward-two-steps-back thing going, so, whatever.

Oh, yeah, and thanks to all the people who told me I'd posted Chapter 21 TWICE… that should be fixed now. Let me know if you see any other problems, and I'll fix 'em.

Wow, relatively short author's not for me, huh? So, I've actually got to go and finish all the homework I've been putting off all weekend – and Happy Valentine's Day, everyone (although really, it's one of my least favorite holidays… just a day for Hallmark to make LOTS of money and for guys to get ripped up. Those poor guys…)

xoxo - Peaches