finally an update...yay! okay this was really tough and i think it is not that good, but the next chapter will be better, i promise! i already wrote the end so i just have to write the rest...i hope you like it! i just wrote the most important things, just the basics, you know, and i didn't embellish the whole story so that you can read only the important things and i just didn't want to make it too flashy...so i hope you know what i mean lol!

enjoy reading and don't forget the reviews :)

"Do you remember the first day we met?", she asks.

He reaches out for a flower. "How could I forget that! You were the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. You looked incredible. And immediately I fell for you."

She smiles shyly. "Me too. ... I wanna show you something. Come on."

Back in the house they head for Rory's room. She opens the door and they enter the little dorm.

"I know it's not too big but I think it's enough for me."

"No, it's nice!"

She opens a drawer and searches for something.

"What are you looking for?", he asks her, sitting down at a sofa.

"Oh here it is." She gives him a book and smiles. He grabs it and all his memories come back. It's 'Howl'.

"The book I stole."

"The book you borrowed."

He scrolls through the book.

"You kept it?" surprised he looks at her.

"Yeah. I wasn't able to throw it away. There are so many memories in it. I just couldn't do it."

He sees all his notes he wrote a long time ago. These notes have been his thoughts.

"You're still reading Rand?"

"You're still reading Hemmingway?"

They laugh. They know each other so well.

He looks at her. "What happened with us?"

She looks down at the floor. "I don't know Jess. Maybe we weren't ready for that. I really don't know." She looks at him "But I wish I would." She adds quietly.

"I meant it, you know!"

"What?"

"That I loved you. I really meant it."

She smiles a little. "I know."

"It was hard leaving you--"

"But I'm fine with it. It was so long ago. I'm fine with it. I got over it. And it's okay."

"But I'm not fine with it."

"Why?"

"Because I never got the chance to tell you the truth."

"Which truth?"

"Rory, I didn't go because of you. It was all about me. My dad came and everything was so...so... I don't know...Everything was so weird." He puts his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry for treating you the way I did. You didn't deserve that but I am so so glad that I finally got the chance to tell you the truth!"

"So, it was not because of me?"

"No! How could you think that?" He looks at her. "It was NOT because of you. But I knew that I'd screw it up sometime and I didn't know what to do! I'm so sorry."

"Me too."

"For what?"

"For not going with you."

"Asking you to come with me was insane. I should have known that you'd never come with me. You don't have to be sorry! But I don't know why I did it, I just had to ask you."

A nurse comes into the room. "Miss Gilmore? Mr Mariano? It's time for dinner!"

Both stand up and go into the dining room.

They're taking a seat and Jess asks "Gilmore? Why still Gilmore?"

"After my divorce I just wanted my old name back. Gilmore is a part of me and now I know that it was wrong changing my name."

"So, you got married."

"Yeah I did. But it didn't work. We got divorced two years after the wedding. But we're still friends."

"That's good."

"Yeah."

It's silent again. They are eating dinner without saying a word to each other.

"Miss Gilmore? It's time for you medicine."

"Oh yeah. I'll be right there." She says and stands up.

"Medicine? Are you sick?"

"Jess, in my age...It would be surprising if I were not sick. I'll be back." She says and leaves the room.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

'I never thought meeting her again would be that exhausting. It's like a trip into the past. And right in front of me I can see what I've missed. If I hadn't been that dumb I could be with her now. I mean I could really be with her. Not the way it is. I've been so stupid! That was the mistake of my life. But it's too late. It's never too late for insight but it's too late for us. Our lifes are over. There's nothing left to share.But I'm glad I finally found her again.'

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

'Jess, I'm sorry. You don't know it yet but I'm going to leave you soon. But how shall I tell you? This is going to break your heart. And I'm so sorry for that.

But I want to enjoy the rest of the days with you. I forgave you everything you did and now I just wanna have a good time with you. And please forgive me.'

To be continued...