Disclaimer: "What, you mean the elevator that makes a ding like a microwave announcing we're inside, ready to eat?"
(An: Sorry this took so long... I had to go back and redo Kitty and Kurt's backstory. Several times. -sheepish grin- The demon thing IS nicked from Inu and it'll be explained in this chappy. Rogue is NOT a midget. Think LOTR. Remy is a half-wolf, i.e. he gets, like, PMS-y at the full moon. No transformations... think Tenth Kingdom.)
LATER THAT NIGHT...
The group was picking their way in a line (except for Kurt, because he, as usual, was climbing a tree), through a particularly narrow part of the forest. They were trying to find a place to stop, because it was common knowledge that traveling through the forest at night was a very bad idea.
Rogue was staring at Remy's back (he was leading, which was also normal) and frowning.
"He's not usually like this, you know," said Kurt.
Rogue jumped. "Do you always sneak up on people like that?" she demanded, whirling to face him.
"I didn't sneak up on you," Kurt replied, overly innocent. "I just make it a point to be very hard to see."
"Good for you." She glanced over at Remy again. "Now would you do me the courtesy of explaining him?"
Rogue hadn't counted on Remy's much-better-than-usual hearing."It's. My. Business. Three simple words."
"And I. Would. Like. To. Know."
Remy stopped, very abruptly (almost causing Kitty to trip), and spun to face Rogue. "D'accord."
"Just like that?" Kitty (who was more than a little annoyed with Remy) demanded.
"She deserves to know."
"Yeah, but you didn't think we deserved to know until you almost got burned at the stake," Kurt pointed out.
The look on Remy's face suggested he didn't think that was at all relevant or something Rogue needed to know about. He turned his attention back to the elf. "You want to know what I am? D'accord." He leaned in close, so their faces were almost touching. "I'm a half-wolf. Do you know what cycle of the moon it is? Because I do. And I hope that answers your question," he finished. He lingered a moment longer, staring at her intensely, before spinning and resuming his position at the front.
Kitty, who was still getting herself in order, fixed him with an evil glare.
Rogue eyed him skeptically. "So what does that make you?" she inquired of Kurt as he started to scale a tree. "A half-rat?"
Kurt grinned savagely at her, revealing sharp teeth. "Half-demon, actually."
"And let me guess," Rogue said to Kitty, hands on her hips. "You're half-dwarf... Or whole dwarf, for that matter."
Kitty stood up straighter, trying desperately to look taller.
"May I present," said Remy, with a mocking bow, "the Lady Katheryne Pryde, mage-in-training and current heiress to the throne."
Kitty kicked him. "Jerk."
"Ow!"
"Ok, so wait-" said Rogue, holding up her hands. "You're a wolf, he's a demon, and she's a princess."
The other three exchanged glances and chorused, "Yes!"
"I only have one question: how the hell did you guys meet?"
"You tell her," said Remy. He nudged Kurt, suddenly moody again. He got up and walked off a distance, staring up at the canopy and desperately trying to find a gap.
Kurt blinked. "Why me?"
Kitty rolled her eyes. "Oh, fine, I'll tell it." She gazed into the fire, flicking a few strands of stray hair over her shoulder. "It started when I met Kurt... I think. That's the best spot to start, since it's the least confusing.
"I was sitting in a cafe, minding my own business, when I saw a mob. Me being me, I felt the need to go check it out. Biiig mistake.
"So, there was the mob, right? Torches, pitchforks, ugly people, you know the type. I watched for a moment, and then I spotted the target." She pointed at Kurt. "Imagine him, beat up, bloody, and having a torch waved in his face. Clearly scared witless and backed up against a wall. I had to do something. So naturally I yelled, 'Stop!'"
"Only it was a lot louder than that," Kurt interjected.
Kitty shot him a "look." "Then everyone was staring at me- a greenstick noble with barely two generations of the Blood running through my veins. I asked what was going on..."
&&&
After a moment, a guy who was carrying a torch and a pitchfork was shoved forward. "W-we are ridding ourselves of the demon that's plagued our town!"
The "demon", something blue and furry that seemed to be human looked up at Kitty, obviously scared and hurt. Kitty blinked suddenly. "He's just a kid!" she cried. "He's barely any older than me!"
The "demon" nodded, slipping through the crowd over to her. He had ben walking on all fours but then he stood up. "Um, in case you haven't noticed," he said quietly, holding up one of his cut hands, "I bleed. There's a chupacabra behind the butchershop that won't, I assure you."
"That's no proof!" cried most of the crowd. They moved in closer.
"This is none of your business, lady," said torch-and-pitchfork guy.
Kitty reached over and cut her palm on the man's pitchfork, then grabbed the "demon's" hand. There was a flash of light and matching necklaces appeared around their necks. "It is now," said Kitty, glaring at the man and daring anyone else to comment. She turned to the "demon", who was gazing at her with wide, incredulous amber eyes. "What's your name?" she asked him, quieter and kinder.
"Kurt," he stammered, blinking.
"Come on, then," said Kitty. She shot the crowd one last look, then headed back to the cafe.
&&&
"Damn me and my kind heart," said Kitty, shaking her head.
Rogue raised one eyebrow.
"I never would've done it if I'd known what he was like. Bonding with a demon I'd never met!"
Kurt sighed and stared into the fire
"But I thought you didn't think he was a demon," said Rogue, cocking her head.
"Same process goes for bonding a mage to her servant," said Kitty with a shrug and a stretch.
Rogue nodded and made a go-on gesture.
"Anyway, so the mob backed off after that... so I thought..."
&&&
"You look hungry," Kitty commented as soon as the last of the mob had turned tail.
"Milady, you read my mind."
"It's Kitty. My mom's the 'milady' in my family."
Kurt grinned. "Ok. That works."
&&&
That was when Kitty shut up, glaring into the fire.
Rogue cleared her throat.
Kurt shot Kitty a sympathetic glance. "This part is a little, uh, touchy."
"Damn straight," Kitty muttered, pulling her knees up to her chest.
Kurt sighed and overtook the tale. "We were sitting in a cafe, eating, and then I looked up and saw the smoke..."
&&&
Kitty followed Kurt's eyes and gasped. "That's where my family is staying!" She sprung up and grabbed his hand. Kurt let out a little gasp of his own.
"Wait," he said.
"What?" Kitty demanded, frantic.
"I can get us there faster, but it's a little disconcerting," he explained. He tightened his grip on her hand. There was an explosion of black smoke and brimstone and both disappeared.
Kitty stumbled as they appeared in front of the inn. Kurt steadied her. "What did you do?" she asked him, seeming curious instead of horrified.
Kurt shrugged. "I've been able to do it since I was a kid."
Kitty let out a little shriek as she saw that most of the inn was in flames. "My parents-" she whispered. She grabbed his hand again. "Come on!"
She ran inside, dragging Kurt along behind her.
&&&
"You guys are crazy," Rogue said, sounding awed.
Kurt shook his head. "This isn't the crazy part. We haven't gotten to him yet." He pointed at Remy, who bared one incisor in a sneer.
"Get on with it," said Kitty.
Kurt nodded. "So we ran inside the building. Pretty much the entire left half was in flames- people were running everywhere, it was insane! Kitty dragged me in the direction of her family's rooms..."
&&&
There was a sudden flare of flame. "They're in those rooms!" Kitty shrieked, hearing screams. "My parents!" She looked at him. "Kurt, Kurt, help these people get out. I have an idea." She started muttering something under her breath.
Kurt glanced at her, uncertain, but Kitty shot him back such a fierce look that he started rounding up the disoriented tenants immediately.
Satisfied with her spell work, Kitty promptly ran through one of the burning walls.
&&&
Rogue raised one eyebrow.
Kitty raised a stick, muttered something, and passed her hand through it a few times.
"Wow," said Rogue, impressed.
"Just finish it, ok?" said Kitty, in a quiet tone she rarely used.
Kurt nodded. "Ok, ok, I'd gotten all of the people out of the lobby, the fire was blazing hotter than ever, and Kitty wasn't coming out..."
&&&
Kurt looked around, desperate. Guardian angels, which Kitty most certainly was one of, didn't die- but guardian angels didn't take care of bastard half-breeds like him, either.
Kurt ripped off a part of his cloak, whispered a spell to wet it, and covered his mouth and nose, running into the flames. He looked around, spotting nobody, and of course, had to run further into a burning building. Yeah, let's bang our head against a brick wall a little longer, go into the damn room! Kurt ran into what appeared to be the center of the blaze. "Kitty!" he yelled.
He heard something fall over nearby, and looked around. Kitty was digging through the rubble. Kurt ran up to her, grabbed her arm, and teleported.
Kitty groped around, blinking and disoriented. She fell down, looking at her sooty hands and the edge of her singed dress. "My parents..." she whispered, pressing her heands against her face.
"Kitty..." said Kurt, kneeling down by her.
"I've only known you, what, twenty minutes, and already you're the only family I have in the world," said Kitty through her hands. "I don't have any other relatives."
Kurt noticed a shimmering mark on the back of her right hand. "Kitty, purely out of curiousity, how was your family noble?"
"My grandfather was the son of someone in the palace... they gave him a title to keep him quiet," Kitty explained, wiping her eyes. "The fire was set. Somebody wanted to keep us quiet."
&&&
"After that, Kitty and I shipped out of the town, to look for a guide," said Kurt. "Kitty wanted to get to the palace."
"Before then I never wanted my heritage," said Kitty, staring at the backs of her hands and making the mark appear and disappear in the light. "Now it's all I've got. The regent will have to let me- I've got the royal mark."
"Should I tell it, now, since you all are obviously 'funned out'?" Remy suggested.
"Only if you promise to stop biting our heads off if we interrupt you," Kurt replied.
"Can't blame him for being snippy during his version of the monthlies," said Kitty. Kurt and Rogue cracked up and Remy let out something close to a growl.
"I'm getting paid, I'm getting paid, it's not near enough for this but I'm getting paid, dammit," Remy muttered.
"Just get on with the story, wolf boy," said Rogue.
Remy gave her the evil eye before continuing. "When the femme walked into my office, I thought I'd never seen anyone more obviously noble in my life..."
&&&
"Can we help you with something?" John-Luc LeBeau asked, raising his eyebrows at the young woman in front of him.
"I need a guide," she responded, fiddling with the right sleeve of her dress. "I want to get to the palace."
"You'd have to go through the royal forest," Jean-Luc pointed out. "Sure you want to risk it, Miss..."
"Katheryn, Lady Katheryn Pryde."
"It'd be more expensive than my usual services, Miss Pryde. Personal risk, you see."
"Money isn't a problem." Kitty pulled out a small bag of gold. "Will this do?"
"Perfectly," Jean-Luc agreed, weighing the bag expertly in one hand. "Just let me get my son."
Jean-Luc got up and walked out, to where Henri and Remy were lounging in the other room. "Remy. You're to be taking Miss Pryde," he thumbed back at the other room, "and her servant to the palace."
Remy groaned. "Why do you always give me the boring assignments?"
"Because you're the youngest," Henri said, jabbing his brother in the side.
"Because I trust you," Jean-Luc responded. "Something weird about these two- not sure what. But I don't like it, and if I send anybody else they'll get eaten for sure."
"Ha ha ha," said Remy dryly, his brown eyes flashing yellow for a moment. He stood up, brushed himself off, grabbed a bag off the floor, and walked into the other room.
The noble raised one eyebrow when she saw him. "Who's this?"
"Your guide, milady," said Jean-Luc. "My son Remy."
"Why am I not thrilled?" her servant asked, but quietly. The noble not-so-subtly kicked him.
Remy bowed.
"He's young, yes, but I trust him. He can handle this. You're in good hands, Miss Pryde." Jean-Luc gestured at the door.
Remy, Katheryn, and the servant walked out. "Well," said Remy, smirking slightly. "This is gonna be interesting, at the least."
&&&
"We should've turned tail and ran right there," Kurt interjected, shaking his head.
"Unlike you, not all of us have a tail to turn," Kitty responded, nudging him with a small grin.
"You know," said Kurt, in a belabored tone, "what I mean, mistress."
Kitty pulled a face at him.
Remy, in the background, rolled his eyes and cleared his throat.
Rogue made the go-on gesture again.
"Nah ah ah, I'll take it from here, sheep boy," said Kitty, waving a finger in his face. Remy looked as though he longed to bite it off. "You'll just go off into your sheep rant again." Remy opened her mouth. "Shut it, LeBeau." Remy sighed and shut it. "Good doggy." Remy sneered again. "Ok, so, then we made the mistake of coming to a town famous for its sheep population. Hedgeville. Baaad idea.
"To make a long story short, Remy ate a bunch of sheep without asking and thus got us into a lot of trouble. Turns out people in Hedgeville take their sheep really seriously. They were gonna burn Remy at the stake!
"Normally, it would've been, eh, no great loss, but we needed a guide. So Kurt came up with this crazy way to break him out-"
"It wasn't crazy!" Kurt interjected, indignant.
"Yes, it was!"
"It worked, didn't it?"
"And we nearly got killed in the process!"
"A fluke. How was I supposed to know the warden was such a light sleeper?"
Remy and Rogue cleared their throats in creepy imitations of each other. "Just tell the damn story, ok?" Remy suggested.
"Right," said Kitty, clearing her throat. "So, anyway, Kurt decided that he could just bamf-"
"Bamf?" Rogue asked, one eyebrow raised.
"It's what we call his little talent for teleportation," Kitty explained with a shrug. "It's the sound it makes. Like I was saying, he figured he could just bamf in and get Remy. But of course it didn't work that way. Kurt can only go so far on guesswork, so we decided to get on the roof. He bamfed up there, then looked down through the window, bamfed into Remy's cell, grabbed him- who was by now throroughly confused- and bamfed out of the cell... right next to the warden, of course."
"Hey, you can't blame me- four bamfs in a row really takes it out of a guy!"
Kitty shot him a look and Kurt shut up. "Good boy. Anyway, the warden woke up, of course, and so Remy had to drag Kurt- who was pretty much unconcious at that point- out of the jail, while running for his life from the warden, who happened to have owned the sheep he ate.
"To make a stupid story short, they got away, and we got out of the town without further mishap- first forcing Remy to tell us what the hell he was doing eating those sheep in the first place, naturally."
Kitty shrugged and spread her hands. "The rest is pretty much just us getting spooked by a royal carriage and thus lost."
"Crazy," said Rogue. "You're all crazy. And I'll be driven crazy by proxy, probably."
The other three glanced at each other and nodded. "Yeah."
(OH MY GOD that was hard to write. This chapter was one HELL of a bitchkitty. I will try to have updates sooner. This chapter was just- ugh, impossible. Thus the adverbs run rampant. Oooh boy I think I'm gonna go bang my head against a wall for a while now, because DAMN am I annoyed.)