Chapter 17

"Sara? It's after seven, I thought we had a dinner planned." Grissom called out towards her bedroom. Silence was the only sound which graced his presence.

"Honey are you alright?" Grissom asked once more before slowly opening the door. His heart flew out of its steady rhythm as he saw Sara on the floor of her bedroom.

"Sara? What happened?" Grissom felt the familiar feeling of panic loom over him as he saw her lifeless on the ground. A tear rolling down one of her cheeks made him feel somehow less panicked. She was breathing, that was a start.

"Go away." Sara hoarsely exclaimed. She never once looked Grissom in the eye as he continued to kneel down before her. She refused to lie down on the bed, it would be giving her comfort. She didn't deserve to be comfortable.

"I'm not going anywhere. Are you in pain?" Grissom looked Sara over for any injuries trying to ignore the ones he had caused previously.

"Yes." Sara cried.

"From what?" Grissom tried to touch her but she shifted before he could have a chance.

"From you!" Sara yelled, as she rolled on her side away from Grissom's gaze. He could only watch helplessly as her chest compressed frantically from her uncontrolled crying.

"Sara…" He took a deep breath out trying to control himself. "I know what I did was unacceptable, the only thing I can do is apologize everyday for the rest of my life." Grissom swallowed hard, suppressing the sadness which was lurching up into his throat.

"Not good enough. I want you away from me as far as possible starting now." Sara waited for his reaction.

"No, please don't give up on me. I said I'll get the help I need. Sara I can control myself now. I…" Grissom knew it was useless to explain.

"How do I not know it will happen again? I can't risk it now." Sara clenched her fist in pain as she forced herself to throw away her past feelings for Grissom. The process was leaving her emotionally drained.

"Why now? I thought we were going to start over tonight." Grissom continued to stare at Sara in disbelief.

"What did I say? Please get out. Now." Sara's voice was more demanding then she had meant. Another tear fell to the floor as she heard Grissom's reluctant footsteps make their way outside her bedroom door.

"I'm sorry! It's all my fault. I wanted you to have a daddy who could protect you, not cause you pain. Blame me. Blame me if you regret never having a father." Sara began to stand up and walk over to her bed, her hand never leaving her stomach.

"I am going to protect you from him for as long as it takes until we move away. You would have loved your father so much." Sara's body still trembled with the thought of leaving Grissom forever. "But I can't risk it. I don't want you to have the father I did."