Chapter 6 – Irony

Chapter six for the good little boys and girls.

Disclamer: Own Teen titans? That depends on your definition of "Own"…

AN Upon seeing the newest (Well at the moment to me anyway) Episode "Birthmark", I realize that I have to call this one a full on AU rather than the slightly AU that I was calling it before, anywho, that won't stop me, I will finish this!

………………………………………….

I watched him fall, and then I knew, I knew just what I had put him though, I knew how it hurt him to watch it, I knew how much he wished it had been him taking the saw blade. I had just learned the true meaning of pain, watching the person you love the most, quite possibly die right in front of you. He had jumped in order to avoid the saw, and he almost pulled it off. Sadly it hit him in the stomach, blood flew out as he spun in the air, and the scream he let out had frozen us all, we all looked at the falling boy, even Slade's robots…

"Ironic…Isn't it?" Trigon muttered.

Something deep inside me snapped, My eyes turned bright red and I let out a primal scream, I think that I got almost as much attention as Beastboy had.

The scream itself as chilled even me to the bone, but what I did next was unbelievable. There were about thirteen robots left…but then, my body floated slowly into the air, I was not doing this, nor was Trigon, but something else motivated me at that moment.

Revenge.

From my point in the center of the room, I screamed yet again, all my emotions that I had held down for so long were coming right to the surface.

Darkness was slung from my body in all directions; friend and foe alike were trying to avoid the bolts.

My scream grew louder; it was not just a scream of rage, pain, loss, or insanity, but a very strange mixture of all of them.

The robots had been destroyed; they really hadn't had a chance in the first place.

Robin had to risk his life and tackle me in order to stop me, but he succeeded.

My eyes turned back to they're usual violet color and I looked at my teammates, and then I looked away.

Starfire had taken several bolts of darkness; she was holding her side in pain.

Cyborg was holding his now mangled robot arm in his human hand.

Robin had avoided every bolt tossed at him, but he still looked at me disapprovingly.

I twisted my head to where Beastboy was lying, and I realized something, the whole building was covered in left over darkness from my attack, everywhere except that spot where Beastboy was.

I rushed over to him and cradled his head in my arms gently.

"You can't die on me Beastboy…" I whispered as my tears fell without even the slightest amount of resistance from me, "I know that this is exactly what I deserve, for failing you…for letting her die…but please Beastboy…Please don't die…Please…"

A green aura surrounded us; Starfire in spite of her injuries had picked us up with her powers and put us in the C-car.

Beastboy was still breathing, he still had a pulse, but his breath was shallow and his pulse was faint, this was too big an injury to risk using my small amount of healing powers on…I'd do more harm than good…

"Beastboy…stay with me Beastboy…you have to stay with me Beastboy…" I cried to the young changeling, "I can't lose you Beastboy, you are the only thing that keeps me from giving up…please Beastboy…Please…" I was for the first time in my life, openly crying.

"Raven…" I heard Robin say from the passenger seat, "Beastboy…Beastboy is strong…He will make it Raven…He'll make it…"

Cyborg, who was driving one handed as fast as he could confirmed, "He's always been tough Raven, he doesn't show it but he is, he will fight it off…"

Starfire piped up beside me, "Friend Raven…you must believe in him…"

I was touched, despite the fact that I had shot friendly fire at every one of my teammates, they still stood behind me, Robin hadn't thrown me off the team, Starfire had gone back to calling me "Friend" Raven, and Cyborg hadn't cracked one bad joke about his arm.

"I'm…sorry for losing control…" I said to them, "I hurt you all…"

Robin shook his head, "It's okay Raven, we all understand, we've all been there, we've all made mistakes…"

The rest of the ride was mostly silent, I was still crying softly, Robin and Cyborg were speaking quietly about Beastboy's injury, and Starfire said nothing, she just watched us, not uttering a word.

…………………………

We pulled into the Tower and rushed Beastboy to the emergency room, Robin insisted that I stay by his side rather than work the machines, but I said I needed a breath of fresh air and he allowed me to go outside.

I walked to the back of the Tower, right up to the grave.

Robin didn't know or couldn't remember Terra's last name, or her age, so he had just carved…

Terra.

A great friend and crime fighter.

A warrior's life cut far too short.

And A love that never had a chance to bloom.

I stared at the grave for a moment, then said, "I'm sorry Terra…I know now just what I did…the damage that I caused…everything…I know now that I…don't deserve Beastboy's love, not after all I've done…"

"Of course you don't, I've been telling you that all along," Trigon said in his most sinister voice.

"Not now…" I thought to myself, I didn't want to have to deal with this.

"You can never have anyone!"

"Stop it!" He had caught me at a very bad time, god why wouldn't he just shut up…

"Face it child, you are alone in the world, you can't ask something of them…they can't stop me…"

"Leave me be…"

"Never…"

I curled up beside the grave crying. He normally wouldn't get me this far, normally he wouldn't be able to get anything out of me besides anger maybe, but I had just watched the last thing I had ever wanted to see happen.

"I deserve this…I deserve to die…"

"That's right…give in…"

"I killed Terra…I deserve to die…to…not even exist…"

"That's right…almost…"

"STOP! Leave her alone!" I heard a female voice shout, I couldn't believe it, it was not someone around me, but a voice right in my own head, and it was the voice of…

"Terra!" Trigon shouted in surprise.

"That's right Trigon! And this is a soul you won't be taking over tonight!" With that, a strange power flooded my body and Trigon was driven to the farthest reaches of my mind.

Then, as if from exhaustion, I fell to the ground unconscious.

……………………

I awoke in a dream; the entire area was black, with large dark red splotches that glowed slightly.

I turned around and found myself staring Terra in the face.

"Gah!" I shouted, slightly surprised, "Terra! How…?"

Terra smiled softly, with a kind of sadness and wisdom that hadn't existed when she was alive.

"I always wondered…what was under the mask you wear, hiding the truth more completely than any other mask possibly could…Now I know…" Terra said, almost to herself.

"What are you doing in my head Terra?" I asked with a look of confusion on my face.

Terra shook her finger slowly in a "no, no" gesture, "Not your mind Raven, we are in your heart, where your true self and emotions lie dormant."

"My…heart…?"

"Yeah…the redness is Trigon's influence…"

I took another look around to see that there was much more red than black, "I'm that bad off huh?" I mumbled self pityingly as I looked at my feet.

Terra walked up to me and gently raised my head with one hand, "Raven…He needs you…and you need him…He can clear this up." She said as she stared softly into my eyes.

"Needing and loving are two different things." I said, wanting to turn my head away, but unable to for some strange reason.

Terra shook her head, "You love him…and if he didn't love you, he would have killed you by now…"

I felt tears upon my face, "I refuse to use him, he wouldn't have any scars if it weren't for-

My face stung, my left cheek went into pain and the next time I opened my eyes I was on the ground, staring up at Terra, who's face looked very angry, she had slapped me.

"Raven! You know as well as I do he has had emotional baggage since before he met either of us, you know that, while it may not be as sob a story as yours…Beastboy hasn't had an easy life."

Terra was starting to cry too, "Terra-"

"-No!" She shouted, "You are going to hear me out!"

She drew in a breath and steadied herself, "I've seen into Beastboy's heart…it's almost as black as yours Raven…yes, granted he is still mourning my loss, but he has also had so much of that darkness for so long that I couldn't even see what was under it. He wears a mask as surely as Robin does, and as surely as you do, he hides behind bad jokes and a stupid act…and you know it…"

My eyes shifted to the side, no longer able to look he straight on.

She walked up to me and extended her hand, "I am his guardian now, I am always with him, but I can't save him from himself."

I grabbed her hand and she helped me up, "So you were the one that protected him from my blasts?"

Terra sighed, "Yes and no, I was there, I had a shield raised…but not one of your shots came towards him…"

"So how did you…help me?"

"I had to leave Beastboy for a little while to save you…I have a bit of an inside track to these things now that I'm dead…" Terra laughed, though it sounded slightly forced, "Anyway, my point is, I'm not mad at you. Beastboy has always felt something for you, more than and longer than he felt for me…so you have my blessing…"

Terra closed her eyes for a moment; "Only he can defeat him forever…that's why he's afraid…"

"What do you mean?" I asked, understanding and not at the same time.

"You will know if you try…but no matter what, go sit by him…he needs you to be there when he wakes up…"

She opened her eyes, "Oh yeah, sorry about the slap…but you deserved it…"

………….

And with that, my eyes opened, I was lying right in front of Terra's grave.

"Thank you…" I said quietly as I turned to walk back in, but then I stopped and turned around knelt at the grave.

After I was done, it read…

Terra.

A great friend and crime fighter.

A warrior's life cut far too short.

And A love that never had a chance to bloom.

An incredible teacher, and forgiving soul…thank you.

With that, I turned and walked back inside to take my place beside Beastboy…the place I belonged.

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A/N Getting near the end kids, there are probably two or three more chapters to go…unless somehow I get RAVE reviews...then I may consider a sequel…

P.S. A big thank you to the people that have reviewed...and a WHY! WHY WON'T YOU TALK TO ME! To the ones that haven't

In other news, I think I'll be working on a RobinXRaven soon, seems to me that they are just as likely or more likely a couple…but who knows?