Disclaimer: I don't own Constantine or anything else for that matter!
The song's are: Trapt - headstrong, Muse - Sing for absolution, Muse - Escape. I don't own them either. sob
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Chas gets VERY drunk! This is Chastine you HAVE been warned.
It was pretty late... Or really early depending on whether you've slept or not. In Chas' case it was really late.
Four AM and he was just returning from a wild night out with... Well, he couldn't quite remember who with!
He was stumbling up the stairs, swaying back and forth, gripping onto anything to stop himself tumbling back down to the bottom.
He had been drinking of course.
Chas Kramer had been drinking for the... Second time in his life.
He always seemed to be a responsible guy. Following orders, being helpful... Well not tonight.
Tonight was a night to let everything go, to 'live a little' and that's exactly what he had done.
He could still taste the tequila in his mouth.
It wasn't just tequila though it was a wide range of alcoholic beverages.
Yep Chas Kramer had mixed his drinks and now he was pissed out of his mind.
Vodka, whiskey, rum, tequila, beer... Along with a few other bits and bobs.
He hadn't refused one single drink the entire evening!
Considering he didn't drink all that often (or at all) he could be considered as a bit of a 'light weight' so to speak. It hadn't taken much to get him singing and dancing on the tables, slurring his words, talking to everyone and everything (including doors, plants, tables, hatstands...) And generally making an ass of himself.
He stumbled a little breaking into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
"Back off we'll take you on, Headstrong to take on anyone, I know that you are wrong, Headstrong we're Headstrong, Back off We'll take you on, Headstrong to take on anyone, I know that you are wrong, This is not where you belong!" Chas screeched at the top of his lungs.
It didn't really sound like singing, more like a thousand sharp nails scratching down a chalk board.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP OUT THERE!" A voice screamed from one of the apartments he was passing.
"I love you too man!" Chas screamed back tripping again.
"Sing for absolution, I will be singing!" Chas began on another song.
He stumbled a little at the top of the stairs falling clumsily on his backside.
"OOPS!" He giggled giddily.
"Shhhh!" He continued putting a finger to his lips.
He rose to his feet clutching a wall for support.
"You would say anythinggggg, you would try anythinggggg, to escape your meaningless, and your insignificance, you're uncontrollable, we are unlovable, I don't want you to think that I can't, I never would I never could, again! WHYYY can't you just bla bla"
"YOU FUCKING DICK HEAD PISS OFF AND DIE!" Someone else screamed.
"Yeah whatever you stupid smelly moo! I don't owe you nothin' you hear me! Nothin' I'm great! I'm so bloody awesome you're just jealous! I'm AWESOMMMMMMMEE!" Chas replied slurring badly.
He had made it to the door.
It took him a while to get a grip on the handle and even then he couldn't manage to turn it.
"Oh snaps"
He finally got it stumbling clumsily into the dim room.
The sun hadn't risen yet so there wasn't much light making it all the harder for a drunken teenager to navigate his way around the apartment "Wait a minute!" Chas said stopping abruptly.
"This ain't my apartment!" He giggled.
He stumbled forward several steps taking a long look around the room he was in.
Other that it being dark and for some reason hazy... His eyes just couldn't focus! No matter how hard he stared he couldn't make ANYTHING out!
"Owell"
He felt around finding a chair.
He was exhausted. It had seemed like a lifetime ago since he had slept.
He had got up extra early yesterday coz of that asshole Constantine... It was five... No maybe six in the morning by the time he got there, bleary eyed.
"What took you so long kid"
"I was sleeping John! What do you think I sit outside your door 24/7 waiting for you to call me"
"Yeah I was beginning to think so." The exorcist answered with a snigger.
"Yeah whatever John just hurry up so I can go home and sleep"
But he hadn't gone home and slept.
Instead he went back to John's apartment read a couple of books and got into an incredibly pointless argument.
"John, John c'mon John... are you even listening to me?" Chas whined.
"No"
"JOHN! C'mon I listen when you talk"
"No, you don't Chas"
"Yeah I god damn do!" Of course he listened when John talked.
He worshiped the ground the goddamn exorcist walked on! John was his idol... He was more than that! John Constantine was so much more but he was to blind to see what was right in front of his bloody face.
"You have no idea what I do John! You don't even know who I am! A year and a half and you don't know me any more than the day you 'saved me!' Maybe I didn't want to be saved John, did you ever think about that huh? Did you ever think about what 'I' wanted, huh John? No, coz you're too wrapped up in your own sad pathetic life that you never take the time to open your fucking eyes! I listen to EVERY-SINGLE-WORD-YOU-SAY! John I follow you around hoping that one day you'll see me! REALLY see me! See me for who I am! See that I'm a human being who has feelings John! A human being who has feelings for you!" He screamed in a mad rant.
By the look on John's face he could tell he had said something VERY VERY stupid.
"You have feelings for me?" John asked his voice barley a whisper.
Chas looked away.
Shit.
He had just revealed the biggest secret of his life. The ONE and ONLY thing he should never have told John Constantine.
"CHAS! Look at me! You can't just say something like that and expect me to ignore you!" John said raising his voice to a dull roar.
"What! Wow I can't believe it John I finally found something to make you LISTEN"
"This isn't a game Chas! Do you wanna fuck everything up over a goddamn school boy crush? Do you even know what it means Chas? Do you know what it's like"
"What the fuck are you talking about John! I said I had FEELINGS for you! Not that I fancied you! You know your problem John, your head's too damn big there isn't enough space for anyone around you"
"You have feelings for me? What feelings Chas? Huh? You want my attention you have it, explain your feelings to me"
"NO! I don't have to explain anything to you! And who said it was a schoolboy crush John! Who said that? You think I'm incapable of feeling love coz I'm 19? Is that it? Well, John-bad ass-Constantine, sorry to burst your bubble but I AM capable of love UNLIKE YOU!" Chas screamed in a deafening roar.
John laughed. John fucking Constantine laughed right in his face.
"LOVE Chas LOVE not lust. What is it? Are you afraid you're gay? Is that it? Are you doing this to piss me off, to get your own back"
"THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU JOHN! Not everything is about you"
"Really? That's news to me"
"Fuck you! Fuck you and fuck your fucking bigheaded fucking life!" Chas screamed leaving the apartment in a frenzy.
He slammed the front door with incredible force causing the floor to vibrate.
That's when he went to the party, got drunk and was now here... In this apartment... John's apartment.
"Yeah whatever." Chas said to himself collapsing into the chair.
"OWWWWWW!" He screamed jumping 10 feet into the air.
"Whatthefuckisthatandwhythehellisitonthegoddamnfuckingchair!" He screamed at the chair.
Gingerly he picked it up, feeling it a little.
"Oh my fucking god it's John's head! A demon's decapitated him and now I'm holding his head!" Chas cried holding the item at arm's length.
"Chas?" John asked wide awake holding his holy shotgun in one hand, a bottle of holy water in the other.
"JOHN!" Chas screamed running over to the man and pulling him into a bone breaking hug.
"You have a head John! Look you have a head!" He muffled into John's neck.
"Of course I have a fucking head! You spent about an hour telling me I had a BIG head if you remem... Chas you stink! Have you been... Drinking?" John asked.
"JOHN!" The boy wailed snuggling further into the exorcists bare chest.
"CHAS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!" John screamed pushing the boy away, which required quite a lot of energy considering Chas has physically ATTACHED himself onto him.
Chas whimpered a little holding the item he still had clutched in his hands, up to John's face.
"It's your head John! You didn't tell me you had two heads!" "I don't. That's a pineapple Chas." John said shortly.
"Oh." Chas said placing it back onto the chair.
"Why d'you got a pineapple on the chair John?" Chas asked in confusion his eyes crossing and uncrossing as he tried to think.
John choked back a laugh. The kid was well and truly plastered.
"You are gonna be feeling this for day's kid." John said leading him into the bedroom.
"Feeling what John, the pineapple"
"No kid a hangover"
"Aww John I ain't drunk I'm as sober as the pineapple"
"Whatever you say kid." John replied pushing him onto the bed.
"Goodnight." He said after placing the blankets over the boys delicate form.
"John"
"Yeah?" He asked stopping at the sound of his name.
"I'm glad you still have a head." He mumbled before dozing off into a deep sleep.
"Me too kid. Me too." John replied a hint of a smile playing on his lips. He left the room shaking his head.
Maybe he did love the kid after all.