Twilight Bastille Chapter 8: Moon Face, a sailor moon fanfic

I don't own Sailormoon.

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Twilight Bastille: Chapter #8 – Moon Face

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Noon shone brightly through the open windows, bringing with it a gust of wind that set Rei to coughing and choking on the dust. She reached over with a rapidly strengthening hand to close the shutters and slumped back against her pillows, staring at the ceiling.

Rei had dutifully stayed in bed for the last few days, mostly sleeping, waking only for food and medicine. Whatever was in those pills, they had quickly reversed her symptoms, and her strength was coming back. True to his word, Jacen had come by every day, ostensibly to put the fear of God in the girl. All traces of his easygoing manner were gone.

He usually laid out her meals and medication while she was asleep. She never knew exactly when Jacen arrived; whenever Rei woke up, he was there, waiting, expression distant, body language caged and eager to leave.

Now, the doctor never stayed longer than absolutely necessary, and Rei acutely felt the sting of their lost companionship. Jacen made no secret of the fact that he considered time spent by her bedside wasted. At the same time, she was still furious at his overbearing treatment of her. She nursed her hurts in silence, as did he, and in Rei's mind, at least, they were back to square one.

Rei thought of the doctor's hands, unbidden, as she recalled his brusque examination of her. Their effortless strength and skill attracted her to Jacen as much did his enigmatic smile; the simple intimacy of his rough palm against her pale skin shocked her, made her wonder what his touch might be like if his intention was to seduce.

Not that he'd want to, she reflected bitterly. He made his feelings clear – to him, I'm just a scrawny, immature little girl. Was I lying to myself when I thought that he…he wanted…

What kind of woman did he favor, anyway?

Likely not anyone who pisses him off as much as I do. Rei appeared singularly adept when it came to lighting Jacen's all-but-interminable fuse, because she had yet to see him as anything less than effortlessly charming with other members of her sex, junior nurses and ancient schoolmarms alike.

She could see him now, with that girl he'd been speaking to on the phone – what was her name, Tara? Therese? making love to her, her painted nails digging into his broad shoulders as he…Rei's stomach clenched hollowly at the thought of another woman wrapped in his sheets, inviting. Would Jacen want her if she was taller, rounder, softer? Older?

Stop it, Rei.

Rei had difficulty remaining upset with him when he was absent; it was while Jacen was here, bossing her around, that she found him completely insufferable. At any rate, lying abed for so long gave her all too many hours to contemplate, an activity she'd been strictly avoiding for a long time now. Unfortunately, Rei's thoughts were taking shape in a way she didn't like. She had to end this impossible attraction, before something happened between them – it didn't matter who started it – and he inevitably walked away from her, just like…Rei swallowed. No, not everybody. Grandfather was still here. It was Grandfather who needed her now.

…

Jacen, for his part, was doing his best to detach himself from the situation. He wasn't about to allow himself to become so besotted with her that it interfered with his duties. Of course, Rei was his patient, too, but he had a personal stake in her and her grandfather that he couldn't write off as a mere obligation. Jacen spent far more hours than necessary with both of them, taking on further responsibilities that he didn't need.

All the same, he couldn't bear to spend too much time alone with Rei. Now that he had identified the problem – and it was a problem, because the girl didn't care for him or even trust him, for that matter – it was torture to be with her, to watch her sleeping face as unreachable as the moon. He'd always teased her, tried to lay her bare, as was his wont, but Rei remained maddeningly circumspect.

Oh, she was bold in her own way, of course, but whatever seducing Rei did, she did unknowingly. In many ways, she was far more mature than Jacen would have given a girl her age credit for, forced to grow up fast in hard circumstances, but in comparison to some of the women he had known – intimately – Rei was all too naive.

Jacen understood women, infuriating creatures that they were. He'd never been turned down that he could remember, and with time he'd learned their whims and weaknesses. And so, it vexed Jacen that he had no idea what to do with Rei, as unpredictable and contradictory as she was. For the first time in his life, it was she who held all the cards.

Accordingly, the doctor gave Rei's bedside a wide berth. One day, he was afraid, she would wake up and see the torment written on his face as he watched her sleep, and she would know. And then what would she do? Jacen didn't know, and he was too much a coward to want to find out.

Rousing himself from his thoughts, Jacen glanced at the clock. He was a bit late going to her barracks, and would have to shorten his time there in order to come back and check up on her grandfather. Even though she was forbidden to join him now (another unspoken rule he enforced in light of her illness), the doctor still watched over the elderly man. Not so much for her sake anymore…he didn't know exactly why, but it was more peaceful to stay there with his patient than to go back to his empty room, fall tiredly into his lonely bed. Anyway, it was time to be heading out.

"'Night, beautiful," he offered absently to the receptionist, who was more than halfway through her golden years.

"Good night, Dr. Amos," she grinned back, but her smile slipped a bit. "Doctor? I don't mean to intrude, but you're looking a bit…tired, ah, worn down, these days. You know, none of us girls would say a word if you just took some time off – there's nothing so serious here that I couldn't handle it for a day or two…"

"Florence," Jacen interrupted, "if you're trying to tell me I've already lost my boyish looks, I'll have you know I'm not yet thirty. Not even close to my prime, but…" He paused. "…if you'd like to come over sometime, see how energetic I still am – "

"Oh, for crying out loud, stop it, Doctor," Florence rolled her eyes, the faintest of blushes tinting her old cheeks. "Get on with you, then."

The head of the department gave her a mock-salute, swung his jacket over his shoulder, and strode out into the night.

Florence filed away a few reports, expression thoughtful. She wondered where the teasing, happy man she'd been so charmed by had disappeared to. Oh, she knew he was overparticular and frequently demanding when it came to his patients' care, but lately, the tension radiating from his office… the doctor was almost impossible to work with. He was moody with his staff, always saving his gentler words for the sleeping old man down the hall.

The receptionist snorted. She wasn't sure what the point of conversing with a man in a coma was, but she knew her place. Florence wasn't about to begin asking questions, not when all she had to do was hold onto her job for another couple months at most.

…

Jacen shut the door quietly behind him, treading softly into the living area. He'd brought food from the mess hall – rice with dried fruit on top, which generally revolted Rei, but he made her eat it anyway – and pears that the nurses had picked at the orchard. Balancing the tray carefully, he sat down by her bed to wait.

Normally, the doctor managed by bringing a medical journal or something else to read, but today he'd been in such a hurry – to get here and get out – that he'd forgotten.

Try as he might, Jacen's gaze persistently wandered back to her reposeful features and he exhaled deeply. He had to get over this before he did something that hurt both of them.

Perhaps not overconfidently, he didn't doubt that he could seduce Rei if he wanted. She was far from a "cold fish", as the guard had crudely put it. Simple lust was an easily handled matter, and several camp officials he knew surreptitiously scratched the itch. Nobody batted an eyelash, so long as such liaisons were kept hushed.

Unfortunately, what Jacen wanted from Rei was not so easily obtained.

It was good that she was still angry with him, good that she thought he scorned her. It kept them both from talking, from asking questions.

Jacen squeezed his eyes shut, pained, her face as unattainable for him as any chimera. Her sooty lashes fluttered for just a moment before Rei moaned softly and turned on her side, back to him. His knuckles whitened over the armrests of the chair, and there was a soft pop as the old fabric came loose.

…

The girl awoke for just a moment in the space between two dreams, unsealing her sleep-wet eyes to get her bearings. His hazy form by her bed…Rei opened her mouth to tell Jacen she was too sleepy to eat when she finally got a good look at his features.

His head had fallen back wearily, eyes tightly shut, full lips twisted; Jacen's fingertips dug painfully into the armrests, face drawn with some unseen affliction.

For just a moment, in Rei's haze-tinged vision, he seemed as one cast from heaven, begging for God's mercy. The tiniest of whimpers escaped her lips, and she prayed he hadn't heard it. She squeezed her eyes shut just as his began to open, not daring to meet his gaze.

The anguished lines, the bloodless half-circles of his fingernails, the unfulfilled curve of the lips…

In her life, Rei had seen a man in love only once before. Papa. How he had once looked at her mother, like her beloved face was a constellation printed on his eyelids, a map guiding the blood through his veins…

…

Jacen waited another ten minutes or so. Rei slept like the dead, though, and he wasn't going to be able to check up on her grandfather at this rate. I'll just leave the food here and go, the doctor thought. He left the tray on the nightstand and grabbed his jacket off the doorknob as he left, breathing a sigh of relief as he went.

Rei sat up the moment the door shut behind him. She reached unsteadily for the tray before realizing that her appetite was completely gone. Instead, the girl stretched her hand out and switched off the lamp.

She sat unmoving, unblinking in the darkness.

…

Jacen collapsed into his seat by the elderly man's bed, barely needing to look at his patient to know there was no change.

"You know why I'm here, don't you?" he addressed the still form.

Grandfather didn't answer, and Jacen leaned in suspensefully.

"Because I can't stand being alone with your damn granddaughter," he fell back again, rubbing the back of his neck. He didn't feel quite safe pouring out his troubles to the girl's grandfather, despite the fact that said grandfather couldn't hear a word of what he was saying.

"At least you don't talk back," Jacen sighed, before sobering. "I don't mean that, old man. Don't hold it against me. I wouldn't be doing all this shi – ah, stuff – for you if I didn't want you to wake up, would I?"

His patient's breathing was slow and regular. Jacen hated the mechanical sound of it. He dug his nails into his palms. Since this elderly man and his granddaughter had entered his life, the world had become too complicated. Somehow, just sitting here, talking about things…it helped clarify his thinking. Grandfather had that soothing effect on him, even when unresponsive. Jacen remembered their brief chat in the barracks with a faint smile, so long ago.

Accustomed to his family's embittered old battleaxes and power brokers, starched stiff in Charvet – Rei's dwarfish grandfather, clad in a simple chambray shirt, smiling in welcome…it was something altogether new and refreshing to him. Despite the slightly broken conversation, Jacen found the man to be sharp-witted, with none of the lethargy of elderly age. He was not educated or wealthy, but he was easy to love, and the doctor had fallen under his unassuming spell within minutes.

It was clear that he adored Rei, just as she doted upon him – they were proud people, as dependent upon each other as they were independent of anybody else.

Jacen lacked that closeness with his parents and grandparents. Even his bond with Andrew had sometimes felt strained, although in the end he had loved his brother better than anybody else. Andrew was long gone, but Jacen could not lose another person he cared for. They were few enough.

"You're killing me, old man. See, I've got something to prove. I think…you're not like other internees. Some of them, it's like they've got nothing to live for at all – you know what I mean, it doesn't matter to them what happens. But you…you've got everything." The doctor thought of Rei's rare, husky giggle, made rough by disuse. "I guess I'd like to get to know you better. And you know, I've got a reputation to uphold." He smirked, but his lips were tight with desperation. "So, if I can save you…" Jacen exhaled shakily, knew he was rambling, "if I can save you, I don't know what will happen. I just know…I have to do it."

I have to do it.

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