Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did, would I be writing fanfiction about it, in English, no less?
Warnings: This story contains shonen ai and incest, or malexmale and siblingxsibling pairings. If you don't like this, don't read it.
His brother is not human.
His brother has never been human.
Edward starts the story at the beginning – kittens. Alphonse has always liked kittens, which Edward finds ironic because Alphonse came into life as a kitten. He had cried and cried, a high-pitched scream, sounding weak and frail but yet inhumanly powerful, a kitten's mew. Struggling to be free, held up by the scruff of its neck by its mother, crying for release, wanting to go off on its own. Edward had stood outside the door listening to the noises, and when he entered Alphonse had looked at him and cried harder, a kitten set free but not sure what to do with its freedom. This is Alphonse, your brother. His mother made him leave the room, and when he came back inside Alphonse was quiet. It was funny, Edward thought, that something so alive had seemed to be leaving the world.
He was a kitten for a few more months, and then his cries were deeper, but not human, not yet, never. Edward knew to listen for the wild in his brother's heart, and he heard it.
The insistent cry of a hawk overheard, circling for its prey. Edward had looked to the sky to see the bird he knew to be above – a hawk was a rare treat – but this sound was clearer, stronger. Two years old, running through the grass towards the stream and screaming with joy. A hawk.
Next was a wild dog, a wolf, separated, alone and howling at the moon from wet green grass and dark skies. Wailing, screaming, but not moving. Edward, preferring to be silent, saw him silhouetted by the gravestone, a black wolf, this time dying internally. Outside, he was strong yet frail.
Edward, always human, always trapped, had never been an animal.
Then he was Alphonse again, and only Alphonse. There was no reason for him to be an animal – it was gone, they were all gone, buried in a hole in the ground with their mother.
At the corner store, two humans bought items meticulously. Sulfur, ammonia, silicon, fluoride.
The ingredients of a human body. The man says, listening intently, and moves from the shadows by the door into the center of the room, by the lamp. The light flickers. How old were you?
They were both still young, but Edward thought they could do it. Alphonse retreated into a rabbit, a mouse, quiet and tender, because he loved Edward. Quietly, though, a soft, hidden love, so that Edward would never catch on.
But Edward knew his brother, knew that the love was more than brotherly. He had always thought of Alphonse as something more than a brother, because even though his mother told him, this is Alphonse, your brother, he had received a kitten instead, a hawk, a wolf, a rabbit, something free and wild.
Alphonse liked his human body, and so he stayed, and when he was torn away and forced into something man-made, something foreign, his body rejected. He was still a rabbit, then, so it was a quiet rejection, but noticeable, and looking at him made Edward's heart ache like it was being torn away. Edward wanted his brother back, whoever he was, back into his human body, so he could be free once more. Maybe it was only because he had never been human that his soul stayed inside the armor so willingly. Alphonse was in pain.
That was when he began to make kitten noises again, all the while following his brother like a dog. A trained dog this time, not a wolf. By being in a body that was not human, he was more and more human, more and more tame, every second.
And then there was nothing.
The man waits patiently, without speaking. I admire your younger brother. He could never hate you.
Of course he must have hated Edward. It was Edward who had caged him, trapped him, forced him into the role of this is Alphonse, your brother. Alphonse had cried at night, the way an animal cries, tearlessly, curling into a ball, whimpering. Animals never show their weaknesses, for fear of being left behind. He took to calling Edward to intensify the love that was not and that could never be.
Alphonse was a mockingbird, then, imitating the calls of others but never becoming them. He tried to be human but he didn't look it, was empty inside. He was metal, something human but not human enough.
Winry had never understood him but she tried, and Edward admired her for that.
Their friend. A girl. She worked in automail, in metal prosthetic limbs.
Maybe it's because Edward's mother loved to take them outside. They grew their own food. Winry lived indoors and Alphonse lived outdoors, two different worlds. But Winry understood enough to know that she didn't understand, and so she tried.
Your brother asked me if I thought he was human or not.
Edward's brother isn't human, but not in the way that most people would assume. He is an animal, he wants to be free, and because Edward loves him Edward will free him.
Do you love him the way he loves you?I love him the way I love you. Edward says, looking up at Scar, and the older man's eyes show surprise at the subtle change in Edward's voice. And now I don't know if he loves me at all.He does, Scar says, because he knows. And so do I. You are an animal, Edward. So strong, determined.No, I'm not. Edward says, looking down. I could never be. I love Alphonse but I'm hurting him, by being with you.He loves you, Edward. You will never hurt him.
Outside, the pattering of rain stops, and Scar kisses him, gently, for one second acting like a deer. Edward thinks of Scar as a falcon, normally, an eagle, a bird.
When Edward awakens Alphonse is a tiger, a grown kitten, and he smiles.
His brother is not human.