NAKED CHIMERAS! Right, now that I have your attention I don't own slayers and I doubt I ever will. I make no profit and intend no harm… and I apologize but there are no naked chimeras in this fic… …yes, I'm terribly disappointed about that too…

XOXOXOX

This wasn't any fun at all.

Wasn't having breasts meant to be a good thing? Gourry always complained that her breasts were small and people said the term 'flat-chested' as if it were a bad thing.

Right now she was unsure of whether she wasn't better of being flat. Lina always liked being the centre of attention. It was just who she was, but she wanted to be the centre not… her breasts.

She'd first noticed this little development at dinner earlier that night. They'd been sitting in the newly repaired (Thanks to Amelia) inn dining room eating when Lina noticed she was getting the food easily. Too easily. Gourry wasn't fighting at all. She glanced up to find her protector giving every male in the room (apart form Zel who was rather conspicuously avoiding looking at both her AND Amelia –she'd have to ask about that later) the look of death. It was only then that she realized why. Most of the men in the room were attempting to look down her top. Some were even outright staring at her.

In a sudden mass movement the girlfriends/wives/significant others of all the attached men bopped them one over the head. That got rid of about a third of the men staring at her but the singles remained. She blushed slightly but decided to ignore it- as long as they were just looking and didn't try anything. She was the beautiful sorcery genius after all, besides there was still food on the table…

The second problem she noticed was the pain.

"How can you stand this?" she asked Amelia as she slipped into the hot spring beside the younger girl rubbing her aching shoulders.

"You get used to it. It probably doesn't help that you don't have any support. I'd lend you something of mine but I doubt anything I have would be big enough …I could always let one out a bit though I suppose"

"Thanks but I really can't picture myself in one of those blindingly white, lacy, frilly … things you wear with 'life is wonderful' embroidered over it. Even if no-one lese would see it."

Amelia giggled and held a hand behind her head sheepishly. "I guess not. We could always go shopping tomorrow and buy you something."

"That's a waste of money Amelia! Xellos said the potion should wear off in a couple of days."

"Oh yeah… well I guess you'll have to bear with it then" she said giving the sorceress a sympathetic pat. Lina sighed and sunk down into the water so nothing below her nose was visible. This was going to be a long couple of days…

XOXOXOX

Zel was rather surprised to find Gourry leaning against the wall in the hallway outside the girl's baths as he headed for the room they were sharing (they could only afford two rooms as Amelia had spent most of her money paying the damages and no-one else had any… that they were willing to impart with anyway). Although he didn't show his surprise or indeed any emotion -Xellos had been taunting him about his reaction to the remark he had made regarding Amelia. As a result he had his best poker-face on and was keeping his emotions firmly under wraps.

Or trying to anyway.

"Gourry, what are you doing out here?"

"I'm waiting for Lina."

"What for?"

"A lot of guys were looking at her bad tonight… So I was thinking it'd be easier for me to protect her and stop them from trying anything if we shared a room tonight. And you could share with Amelia."

The poker face broke spectacularly and Zelgadiss' face became a huge blush at the though of sharing a room with the princess. He recovered quickly though and managed to avoid stammering as he fought to find a reason to stop Gourry from going ahead with this.

"But… Wouldn't Lina fireball you if you suggested that? She'd probably think you were 'trying something' yourself."

Ah, victory… saved from a night of temptation- No! Torment! Torment!

"Nah" said Gourry and turned his head to the side so Zel could see the bruise that still ringed his eye "She beat all that outta me. Besides, we've roomed before, and you and Amelia get on really well."

If it were anyone else Zelgadiss knew he could take that last comment as a simple statement, but this was Gourry and you could never tell how much he understood or what he was thinking so he decided to clear up any… implications that might arise about his relationship with Amelia. Although it was probably as much to assure himself as Gourry.

"Now look-"

That was as far as he got however as fate chose that as the moment for Amelia to emerge from the baths, her hair was still wet and she was dressed in a robe that barely came to mid thigh. She was carrying a couple of towels and a bowl of toiletries pressed against her chest… suddenly Zelgadiss found the opposite wall very interesting.

"Mr Gourry, Mr Zelgadiss? What are you doing out here?"

"I was waiting for Lina."

"Hey, did someone say my name?"

Lina emerged in a similar state as Amelia only she wasn't carrying anything. No doubt she had forced Amelia into carrying her stuff as well.

"Hey, Lina I was thinking…"

"You were thinking? Well that's rare. What is it, and it'd better not be stupid."

"Well a lot of guys were giving you looks tonight and I thought it might be safer if we shared a room."

"Ah! Mr Gourry, are you really that worried about Miss Lina?"

"Well I am her protector."

Amelia seemed a bit put out by this as the hope that Gourry might be admitting he cared for Lina was extinguished. Lina however blushed, he was worried…for her? Quickly she laughed and waved it off.

"It's okay Gourry; I can take care of myself. I'm sure if anything happens Amelia and I can handle it."

Gourry frowned. Two girls tended to attract a lot more attention than one and he doubted either of them would be able to handle the type of attention they'd receive. As if to prove his point two mercenaries entered the hallway and sidled up to Lina and Amelia.

"Hey there ladies," said the bolder of the two, putting one hand on the wall near Amelia and leaning over her. "Are these guys bothering you? Want me to get rid of them?" he asked her indicating Gourry and Zel while his companion took up a position near Lina and smiled suggestively at her.

"N-no, that's fine…" Amelia stammered backing away slightly towards Lina who had a look of revulsion on her face. This guy was openly staring at her when she was wearing no more than a robe! Even Gourry had more sense than that. How the heck did you deal with guys like this?

"Really? Then maybe I should escort you someplace else…"

Zelgadiss' eyes narrowed and his hand drifted towards his sword hilt. Behind him Gourry did the same. If this was going where he thought it was the man who dared address his Amelia was going to be a head shorter in a moment. … wait a minute, his Amelia?

"…My room perhaps?"

At this point he had leaned over very close to the princess and seemed to be addressing her cleavage. Naturally she reacted the only way any upstanding, moral, justice-loving, innocent maiden would; scream like a banshee and beat the hell out of the villain! Beside her Lina followed suit.

To their surprise the mercs fought back and both girls soon discovered that these were trained fighters. Not your average run-of-the-mill idiot bounty hunters/bandits. And in a narrow hallway like this neither of them could use their spells for fear of it backfiring on them.

There was no need however, for in a sudden blur Gourry brought the hilt of his sword down on the head of the man attacking Lina and Zel's rocky fist connected with the face of the other.

It goes without saying that both mercenaries promptly lost consciousness and slumped to the floor to wake hours later with splitting headaches, meanwhile however Amelia was muttering something about villains and righteous punishment under her breath, Zel had developed an interest in the wall again and Lina was trying to ignore the 'I-told-ya-so' look she was getting from Gourry. She sighed and rested her head in a hand.

"Alright, you may have a point. I guess even a jellyfish has to get it right sometimes."

Zel's head snapped up, they weren't going to…?

His fears were confirmed as Gourry nodded and threw his room key to Amelia who looked at it in slight confusion before comprehension dawned and she took off after the retreating pair. She stopped when she got to the end of the hall and looked back.

"Mr Zelgadiss? Aren't you coming?"

"I think I'll stay up a bit longer. Goodnight."

Amelia nodded and disappeared around the corner. Zelgadiss sighed and took up the position Gourry had held leaning against the wall his eyes closed in serious contemplation. He could always sleep in the hall that would probably be the safest option -he'd be able to stop people getting into the room without actually having to be inside himself.

He opened his eyes to find himself face to face with a grinning Xellos. Damnit. His subconscious did a couple of quick calculations and decided he was probably better of in a room with Amelia than ANYWHERE with the trickster. At the very least she would be able to sing to keep him away.

"Don't. Say. A. Word." He growled out before turning swiftly and heading down the hall towards the room, a blush over his face despite his best attempts.

Xellos watched him go silently. This had certainly turned out much better than he had hoped. Between Zel's humiliation and Lina's frustration he had a full course meal. Add in the occasional dash of pain from Gourry or Amelia's fear that she would end up emptying Saillune's coffers to pay all the damages before this was over and it became a meal fit for a king!

A moan beside him grabbed his attention and he looked at the mercenaries still unconscious on the floor. He thought for a moment before moving them into a rather… compromising position. Satisfied with his work he teleported away to see what other mischief he could cause.

This was just too much fun!

XOXOXOX

A/N: I tried to keep the pairings out of this, I really did. But it's definitely starting to look AZ and LG-ish isn't it?

Now that I've done a second chapter I'm probably gonna have to write a third to wind it all up huh? Well if enough of you ask…

Oh and to answer some questions;

Neo cristal Serenity – As with all questions that regard where Xellos got something the answer is of course a secret. Sorry! Mistress DragonFlame – Yes, yes he did enjoy that image too much. I always have trouble writing detail into fics as I always seem to picture things in my head better than I can write them (i.e. in this chapter Amelia throws the towels/toiletries into the mercs' face but I just can't write it properly so what happened to the stuff she was holding while she fights becomes a plot hole (I can't write fight scenes either for that matter)) but I'm working on it, honest!

Please leave a review and tell me whatcha' think and whether or not you want more!