Chapter 8: Atonement

Roy had no idea how Lieutenant Hawkeye managed to get from Central City to Risenboul so quickly. Normally it would take at least two days, and that was if everything was planned right. Perhaps she had everything ready beforehand and left as soon as he called. That was very possible, judging from the conversation they had yesterday on the phone. Even then, though, Roy really didn't expect her until tomorrow morning.

But late that afternoon, Roy heard the telephone ring, and a minute later Pinako came up to his room and announced that his lady assistant had just arrived at the Risenboul station, and would be arriving shortly.

It wasn't long before Roy heard Lieutenant Hawkeye come in and come up the stairs. He looked at her as she came in the room and put her suitcase and her briefcase on the next empty bed. She was wearing her uniform, which somehow he was expecting. It was strange, but seeing her gave him a sense of relief, as if things were finally going to get back to normal.

"What happened?" she asked as she approached his bed.

"You were right when you said I cannot make a calm decision when it comes to those brothers." He paused, watching her frown. "I brought Ed back using human transmutation. Despite what it looks like, things went very well."

"How is that possible when you lost a leg?"

"Alchemy is done by equivalent trade, right? Well, in the case of human transmutation, a human must be sacrificed in exchange for another human. However, I got Ed back at the price of a leg instead of an entire life, so I consider that to be quite a bargain."

Hawkeye stared at him in what looked like a combination of shock, anger, and disbelief. "You were willing to give up everything to get Edward back, even if it meant your life."

Roy smirked. "Oh, I wasn't willing to give up everything, I was planning to."

That was enough for her to explode. "How could you!" she yelled. "How could you be so willing to give up everything, when so many people are depending on you! How could you be so selfish, when so many people care about you!"

Roy had never, ever seen Hawkeye this upset before. She was right, though. What a terrible thing to do, to abandon all those people without even a warning.

She continued her verbal assault. "Do those brothers really mean that much to you, to sacrifice everything you worked so hard for, even your own life!"

"There are two reasons why I did it," he replied once she was finished yelling. "The first reason is that I could not stand seeing those brothers apart. They mean more to each other than anything else in the world, even their own lives. The other reason really is quite selfish." He let out a tiny smile before continuing. "How can I look after them if one of them is gone?"

Hawkeye was silent for a moment, and her voice was soft when she spoke again. "To save those you couldn't save before, right? You took away two parents, and now to make up for it you're trying to look after those brothers, to be a parent for them."

He waited a moment before replying. "A single life can never be made up for. So what happens when you've taken as many lives as I have?" Roy then turned his head and looked out the window. The sun was just starting to set, and the sky was turning a bright orange. After a long pause he added, "The sunset in the country is truly beautiful."

She walked to the window and looked out, then looked back at him. "Yes, it is."

The next morning, Hawkeye woke him up earlier than he wanted. He had been sleeping in since he lost his leg, sometimes late into the morning. For one thing, there wasn't much else he could do while he was stuck in bed, and more importantly, his stump didn't hurt when he was asleep.

As Hawkeye was firmly suggesting he get up, Roy groaned as he remembered what his last medical leave was like, and how insistent Hawkeye could be about getting up in the morning. Which meant he could expect to get woken up early every day from now on.

With another grumble he finally sat up and faced Hawkeye. "Why are you waking me up this early?"

"It isn't that early, sir," she replied. She was wearing a blouse and pants, but her hair was still pulled up in its usual style. "The reason I woke you up is because I brought you some food from breakfast. Also, it's time you got up anyway."

He looked out the window and realized it was midmorning. Okay, so she didn't wake him that early, but he was sure she would be soon. Hawkeye handed him some toast on a plate, and as he ate it, he realized just how good solid food tasted like.

"I noticed you didn't take the files I left on your desk." Hawkeye commented once he was done eating.

"Did you really expect me too?" Roy replied with a smirk.

Hawkeye opened up her briefcase and took out some files, then promptly dropped them on his lap. "Well, now you have plenty of time to do them, sir. And I took the liberty of bringing along some of the work you'll be missing while you recover."

He looked at the files with a small sense of terror. As much as he normally hated work, that was nothing compared with the loathing he had for it now. "But I'm supposed to be recovering," he rather ungraciously whined.

Hawkeye wouldn't budge. "Your arms are fine, and despite your recent lack of judgment, your thinking process should be perfectly normal."

Roy made a pained face and opened up the first file. Approval notices he had to sign for…shit, increase in toiletry supplies? Just when he thought the military couldn't get any more inane, they needed his approval for more toilet paper. Naturally it would affect the budget for who knows what other department, and then he'd have to take care of that… He sighed as Hawkeye handed him a pen. Why bother going back to Central when most of the misery was being brought to him?

"I will see the local doctor about coming in and examining you," Hawkeye said once Roy settled down with his paperwork. Once she seemed satisfied that he was working, she left the room.

Pinako came in a while later with a bowl of soup. Grateful for the distraction, Roy immediately dropped what he was doing and took the bowl. It was more of Winry's broth, this time with some noodles and vegetables to make it more filling.

"I see your assistant is keeping you busy," Pinako said.

Roy had to smile. "Her self-declared job is to help keep me in line, and that includes making sure I get my work done." Honestly, though, Roy didn't need Hawkeye to make sure he had all his work finished. Being lazy on the job was a good way of not getting promoted, after all. However, that didn't mean he didn't appreciate her efforts to help curb his procrastination. He needed all the motivation he could get, and Hawkeye was more than willing to provide.

"We're going to be done with Ed's auto-mail in a few days," Pinako said after a moment. "Did you want us to start working on a leg for you after we're done with Ed?"

Roy paused for a moment. Since Hawkeye made it obvious that he would be working while he was staying here, there really wasn't a huge need to go back to Central. She could be a messenger of sorts, taking his finished work back to Central, then bringing back another load of whatever needed to be done. If anyone needed to talk to him directly, there was always the telephone. Of course, there were things that would require his actual presence, like inspections, but nothing that couldn't be put off for a while or done by someone else. More importantly, however, he still needed to have a long talk with Ed and Al, and he would much rather do it here, where the boys felt more comfortable.

"Yes," he finally replied. "Make me the best auto-mail leg in the country."

Pinako got that sly look on her face again. "No problem."

It wasn't long before Roy heard Hawkeye come back. He looked at his stack of completed work and saw how little he got done. He was honestly trying to get it finished, but there was simply too much else on his mind for him to concentrate very well. Besides, his leg still hurt and a headache was forming.

"The doctor will see you first thing tomorrow morning," she said once she was in the room. "He was already asking how you lost the leg. I told him I didn't know."

"That's fine." Roy knew that question was going to be asked. Obviously the truth couldn't be told, so he needed an alternate story. There might be a problem if they asked where the missing leg was, however, and then he'd have to figure out some way to make a halfway passable limb. Or else just create a scenario where it would be nearly impossible to recover his leg, and hope the locals don't get too curious.

"I see you managed to get a few things done," Hawkeye said, picking up the small stack of completed files he had on the nightstand and skimming through them. "Although at this pace you'll never get caught up."

"I just lost a leg, you know," he said rather defensively. "And besides, sitting on a bed isn't the best place to work on this stuff."

"I will see about getting you a bed table of sorts." She put down the files and left the room.

Sighing, he gathered all the paperwork on his bed and put it on the floor. He needed a nap and his leg was incredibly sore, so Hawkeye would just have to deal with the fact that he was done working for the day. And the next day, if he could get away with it.

At 9:30 the next morning, the doctor came over for the necessary examination. Roy really couldn't care less one way or the other about it, mostly because it was just something that had to be done. Then again, he was never squeamish around medicine, even when it involved pain. Thus, he waited patiently as the doctor read over the various forms.

"So, how did you lose that leg?" the doctor finally asked.

He figured that would be the first question. "Al and I were walking by the river, and I figured I could jump across using some rocks that were sticking up out of the water. However, one of the rocks slipped, and before I knew it, I was almost completely under water, with a large boulder crushing my leg. I could just barely get my face above water, and when I did I yelled at Al to get an axe or a saw, since I knew I wouldn't be able to last long enough for someone to move the boulder. The leg had to be cut off, especially since it was already crushed. Al quickly came back with Winry and an axe, and together they managed to chop off my leg and get me to the shore. The leg is probably still there, if you want to take a look at it."

"No, no, that's fine," replied the doctor, looking more than a little horrified by the story.

It took some effort for Roy to hide his smirk. Really, though, having his leg hacked off probably wouldn't have been much more painful than having it removed bit by bit by some ungodly black figures. It would've been less surreal, that's for sure.

The doctor came over to the bed and took off Roy's bandages to examine the stump. Roy took this opportunity to finally see his injury for himself, and wasn't exactly thrilled with what he saw. He'd seen these kinds of wounds during the war, but to see his own body with such an injury was more unnerving than he wanted to admit.

After what Roy thought was way to much poking and prodding, which hurt a lot more than he thought it could, the doctor finally began putting the bandages back on.

"It looks like the stump is healing well, and there's already some shrinkage, which is good. I would recommend walking around with some support in a few days, to make sure your other leg stays healthy." He finished up with the bandages, and then moved on to the paperwork. "Have you been feeling any pain or discomfort that seems to be coming from your missing leg?"

"There's been some sharp pain and sometimes a burning sensation, actually," Roy replied. More like re-feeling his leg being ripped off in tiny pieces, but close enough.

The doctor nodded. "That's expected when people lose a limb, so don't worry about it. Unfortunately, pain medication doesn't help much, but it should slowly go away after a while." He made a few more notes, then asked, "Are you planning on getting auto-mail?"

"Yes, I plan to have some made by the Rockbells here."

"All right, then, I'll let them handle it. I've recommended two weeks for medical leave, plus another three months for auto-mail rehabilitation." He wrote a few more things down, then gathered up all the paperwork. "I'll leave these with your assistant. I hope you feel better soon."

Roy thanked him and watched as he left the room. He wasn't sure if three months sounded like forever, or else no time at all.

Hawkeye came into the room a few minutes after the doctor left, holding a stack of files.

He put on his best nonchalant look before facing her. "The doctor said I shouldn't be doing any work while I was recovering, since it might be too much stress."

"That's funny, because I just talked to the doctor, and he said light work might be good for you to keep your mind occupied."

Damn it! Oh well, at least it was only light work, and not the full load he suspected Hawkeye was planning. "Fine, just don't expect me to work very fast."

"Yes sir," she replied. "Here are some reports you just have to review, that should be light enough work."

He took the files and skimmed over the first one. It was a list of personnel reassignments and transfers that really didn't involve him. Well, at least it wasn't budget numbers.

About halfway through the first file, Roy paused and put it down. Last time he was on medical leave, he hardly did any work at all, and even that was towards the end. Of course, he had a mild stroke then, but his thinking process was mostly intact the entire time. Not much different from his situation now, actually…

"Lieutenant?"

"Yes sir?"

He gave her a careful look. "I don't really have to do any of this, do I? I'm on medical leave and Headquarters really isn't expecting anything from me, are they?"

"That is correct, sir." She seemed completely unfazed by his question.

"Which means, any work that I do get done would simply be a bonus, to show Headquarters that I'm willing to work even though I'm on medical leave."

"Yes sir."

"In other words, to lessen the damage this second extended leave might do to my chances for another promotion." Why didn't he realize this sooner?

"Yes sir."

Roy smirked. "I'm glad at least one of us is thinking rationally."

Later that day, Winry brought up a bed desk she had made for him.

"Riza asked if we had any sort of desk you could use while you're in bed, and since we didn't, I made one." She put it over his lap, and seemed satisfied that it was the right height.

"Thank you for taking the time to make it." Despite the desk being work related, he was glad for it. It would make doing his work a lot easier, instead of having to stack files on his lap for a hard surface. He figured that couldn't be good for his stump.

"Also, thank you for the soup you made, it was good," Roy added once he moved his files to the desk. It was good, but he was getting a little tired of it after so many days. Thankfully Pinako said there wasn't much left.

Winry smiled. "Oh, don't worry about that. It's my way of thanking you for bringing Ed back."

"You really don't have to thank me." If anything, he owed it to them to bring Ed back. "Besides, Al did most of the work anyway."

"That's not what Al says. When I asked him, he said that since you were the one who gave up something for Ed's life, you were the one who really brought him back." She paused and lowered her head. "I always wondered why Riza said she had to protect you. Now I know why. You are a very kind person, someone worth protecting."

Roy looked at her in shock. That was quite possibly the last thing he could ever expect her to say.

Winry smiled again. "Thank you very much for bringing back Ed."

He had to match her smile on that one. "You're welcome."