Chapter Seven: Going To Burn

Author's Note: Uh-oh! Something seems to be amiss in the wonderful world of Garden! Unfortunately, Garden isn't the only place where bad things are happening… This chapter is going to force me to up the rating on this fic.

There's a forest fire burning bright
Spreading quickly towards our last rites
Nowhere to run, pointless to hide
Just lay there and scream, pretending to try
Pretending...

Intending to burn, pretending to fight it
Everyone learns faster on fire
Things took a turn, lost all desire
You live and you burn
You live and you burn

"Burn" by Alkaline Trio

Winds slapped harshly against the window, rattling it in its frame. Selphie was wide awake, waiting for the rain to come, to help usher her into a world of sleep that could make her forget what was going on around her. It seemed like everywhere she went, disaster followed. Pulsing through her like an elixir, running through her veins, the oxygen in her blood, it moved to consume her life.

She wanted only peace, only to find that space inside her that had been lost to the void. It didn't seem so much to ask, not really. She lost something in that last battle with Ultimecea, they all had, but she was the only one who seemed to not get anything back. Squall got the glory, Quistis got the Garden, Rinoa got courage to once again live her life. Even Zell seemed to have taken away a deeper meaning from all this, leaving Selphie with nothing.

Tears slid down her cheek and crashed into infinity on her pillow as the first lightning streaked across the sky and the first torrents of rain smashed against the window like a tidal wave. For a moment she was tempted to run to the window, throw it open, let the water in, let the water engulf her. She wanted more than this, she wanted to feel alive again. Was that so much to ask?

The though hit her hard. What was the point of living when there was nothing left inside her to keep alive? Every part of the person who used to be happy, bubbly Selphie Tilmit has vanished, has ran away to live in the past, an era of unending light and happiness. The sort that will never again grace her heart.

Rolling out of bed, she moved to the window, drawn by the rain. It was the darkest of nights, as the thick clouds shunned the moon from the world. She cast her gaze out over the darkness around the complex, searching for answers that will always elude her. "Let me go…" she whispered softly, running one hand gently down the windowpane. "Take me with you," she pleaded to the rain. "Show me the way."

She thought maybe she saw a shadow move, but dismissed it. There was no way anyone could get in here if the General didn't wish it. Shifting her gaze skyward, she let out a stuttered choke, trying to hold back the violent tears that threatened.

"Why this life?" She asked harshly. "Why now?"

Slamming an open palm against the glass, she jumped when a roll of thunder shook the floor beneath her. An unusually strong gust of wind tore through the complex and shook the pane under her touch harder than normal. The storm was only gathering intensity, however, and Selphie knew that it wouldn't be over until the sun rose, chasing away the demons that would be left by this night.

It wasn't a surprise to her when she heard the door creak open. Footsteps padded across the carpeted interior towards her. She didn't have to turn around to know who it was, and she didn't have to ask what he wanted. She knew.

"Is this all there is anymore?" she asked him, catching him off guard, a momentary lapse in his stride. "Is this why I'm here? Why I came back?"

"What do you mean?" Caraway's voice carried across the room like a growl, reminding Selphie of the thunder rolling outside. She kept her back to him. The sight of Rinoa's father at that time might have sent her over the edge.

"You know damn well what I mean. Is this it? I came here hoping to renew my purpose in life, hoping to find myself. Instead all I find is you, lies, deceit, and the truth about a friend that I didn't want to know." She sobbed out loud, trying to steady herself. Her body rocked back, and before she had time to steady herself, she was pressed against the older man's chest.

He tried to make his touch comforting, but now Selphie knew the truth. She knew all the truths she wanted to know, and then some. There was too much going on in this house, and she knew that she should run away, but there was nothing she could do. Powerless, hopeless, lifeless, she was little more than a doll, a plaything to those who knew what to do in order to control her. Caraway made sure that he knew what to do. He watched her these past few days, biding his time.

Until tonight.

"You know I can't help you unless you want to help yourself," he said in her ear, his lips grazing her neck. Hot breath coursed down her neck, into the top of her nightgown. "Are you even so sure that you want to help yourself?"

Her mind was spinning out of control. His breath, his words, and the drumming of the rain all around her, she couldn't separate right from wrong, down from up. "I can't help myself."

"You can do whatever you want to," he kissed the side of her mouth lightly. "No one can stand in your way if you don't want them to."

"All my life people stood in my way. I don't want anyone, ever again." As she spoke those words she pulled herself away from his and back to the window. Her fingers played along the lock before she turned it away and threw open the glass.

Rain fell in on both of them, covering them instantaneously. Selphie's honey hair clung to her face, the rain mixing with the salty tears, her white gown soaked through. Caraway's gray hair fell down, matted to his forehead. He was still wearing his work clothes from the day prior. The second he ripped off his suit jacket his dress shirt was soaked.

Hands wrapped around either side of Selphie's head, and amidst a flash of lightning Caraway slammed his mouth to hers. They crashed to the floor, any noise they would have made covered up by the loudest clap of thunder thus far, sending Selphie into a nearly deaf state for a few seconds.

Everything was happening so quickly and getting so disorienting. When she had a moment to regroup, she saw that her gown was little more than tattered, wet remains over in the corner. Water flooded the room. The carpet soaked up little of it, and a thin line spread away from the open window.

Caraway was surprisingly rough on her. He rode her like she was made of titanium.

Shoving her shoulders into the water gathering around them, she let out a short scream. This was not what she wanted. Of all the possible scenarios she thought of coming here, to him, this was not one that played through her mind on that train ride. She tried to scream but was unable to catch her breath, and when she tried to breathe in deep her face was slapped to the side and she got a mouthful of water.

It all flooded into her in a moment: Caraway on top of her, beating her into the ground, and Rinoa. Odd how now was the moment that she could see the dark-haired girl with the brown highlights growing up. What a life she must have led to bring her to the place where they all met. This… every night, possibly. Selphie saw Rinoa in a brand new light, one that made her far outshine anyone else she ever knew.

Amidst the gasps for air she wheezed out, "Poor Rinoa."

Everything that was happening around her came to a crashing holt. The rain outside beat down on a frozen scene. Water dripped off Caraway's stone face, splattering on Selphie's pale figure, laying prone beneath him.

His breathing seemed to stopped while hers came across ragged, sharp, irregular. All she wanted was to crawl out from beneath him and find a nice, dry bed and curl up, fall asleep until the sun roused her. In that light all this would seem like some bad dream. Right then it felt like a nightmare that she would never wake up from.

"What did you say?" he asked, something shifting behind his eyes. Selphie was terrified to see what lurked beneath the surface.

Chills ran down her spine as she felt him pull out of her and raise his hand slightly. "What did you say?" he asked again, with more force, his hand hovering, threatening.

"Poor Rinoa," she uttered meekly.

The hand fell through the air in slow motion, but before it reached her, he jumped back from her, away and off. His back slammed into the wall, rattling the pictures much like the thunder that sounded behind him.

As Selphie turned her head she saw a slim figure standing in the doorway. Even in the dim she knew who it was. Reaching out one hand, she whispered, "You came… for me…"

But there was no strength left in Selphie. She fell limply to the floor, and as the world faded to black around her, she heard footsteps plop through the drenched carpet, shambling towards her. Never before had she felt more safe, knowing that someone was finally coming to rescue her from this pain that she had been living.

Just as the world was turning totally dark, she thought that maybe she heard someone singing. It sounded oddly like a lullaby, but she didn't know who would be singing something like that at a time such as this. It felt as if she was being shifted, her head propped up, and that was when she lost control of everything and succumbed to the darkness, which was crying her name softly, luring her into the depths.

And she ran to them.

Edea and Squall had talked for a few minutes alone before she decided it would be best to get out of the open and retire to her room for the night. She wasn't expecting Cid anytime soon, maybe not until tomorrow, and thought that she might as well sleep while she could.

"I will try to catch up with everyone more tomorrow, it has been a long journey here," she told Squall in parting.

After her departure, he wandered aimlessly around the campus for awhile. With everything going on, he wasn't sure what, or who, to believe, and that thought scared him.

There were so many questions that he didn't have any answers to, no matter how hard he tried. Getting restless, he thought that perhaps he might train.

Finally setting a goal, having that in mind made him feel a little more secure. His skin grew cold, however, when he realized where he had ended up, and that the quickest way to the training grounds was through the hospital wing. Something curled up inside him at the thought of passing past the room where Seifer was residing.

Sucking it up, he knew that he had to go. It would make him feel better if he could get through there. Boost his morale, and that was something he really needed to do, if only for himself. It's okay to be selfish every once-in-a-while, right?

Telling himself it was perfectly fine, that nothing would happen, he started off at a brisk pace. No point in making this longer than it should be.

A whirlwind of energy hit him as he was rounding the corner that led into the hall where Seifer was staying. His heart jumped to his throat as he saw Zell collapsed on the floor, thrown against the far wall and in a heap, like he had been a rag doll.

"Zell!" he cried out.

His body was limp, motionless.

Squall half ran, half slid to his fallen friend. The blonde martial artist was barely breathing, and as Squall ran a hand along his chest to feel for a pulse, he felt old demons, old temptations, rising within him. No, he told himself, not now, not now!

He heard the soft clicking of shoes coming around the opposite corner, and the ear-splitting sound of metal being dragged across linoleum.

Shooting a look to the closed door of the room right across from him, he instantly knew what had happened here. Even though he had no way of knowing, he knew that beyond that door was Quistis, quite possibly dying, and there was no way into that room unless he dealt with-

Seifer appeared around the corner.

Rising, Squall removed his blade from his belt. "I don't know what you are doing, but it is time to end this," he said through gritted teeth, just loud enough for the other man to hear.

"Our last duel," Seifer said with a smirk. "Let's see how it goes, eh?"

Author's Note: Yup, upping the rating, hardcore.