Chapter 10: Trust
Roy was walking without a crutch now, but it still was slow limping. Pinako said he was making a fast recovery, and should be walking at normal speed in a few weeks.
Which meant he really didn't have that much time left before he had to go back to Central, and that meant he had to talk to Ed sooner rather than later.
Thus, since the budget report he was working on was aggravating his headache, he figured now would be a good time to see what Ed was up to.
When he came downstairs, he saw Ed trying to relearn how to grasp and drink from a glass with his right arm. Al was helping him, but that didn't prevent Ed from spilling the water from the glass just about everywhere.
"Damn it!" Ed yelled when he spilled yet more water on his shirt.
"Don't squeeze the glass too hard, it'll break," Al reminded him.
"How the hell am I supposed to control that? I can barely hold the damn thing!"
Roy figured it was as good a time as it would ever be to start asking questions, and limped over to the table.
"I see you've made progress," he said when he got to the table.
Ed turned, and he managed to scowl even harder. "What do you want?"
"I meant that as a compliment, Ed. You're not the only one adjusting to auto-mail."
His expression lightened, but not by much. "You don't have to deal with relearning how to use an arm."
"That is true." Roy sat down across from Ed and looked at him carefully. "Ed, what happened to you when you were on the other side of the Gate?"
Ed looked at him in shock, and for a second was speechless. "Why do you need to know that?" he finally asked with suspicion.
"You were gone for a long time, that's why."
"Do you remember when I first found you?" Al asked. "You were lying there on the other side of the gate, then I picked you up and brought you back."
Ed looked at his little brother. "Not really. All I remember is waking up by the river, and the limbs I got back were gone again. I told you all of this before, Al, how I got my arm and leg back when you revived me."
"But you haven't told the Colonel."
Roy looked at both of them very carefully. "What exactly is it that you haven't told me?"
They looked at him, and it was Al who finally spoke. "When Ed died-"
Ed cut him off. "I'll tell him, Al. When I went to confront the person behind everything, I remember getting stabbed. Then suddenly I awoke with my arm and leg restored. Somehow Al managed to get them back after all. Then with my restored body I got Al's body back."
It was obvious that Ed was leaving out a few very major points, like how he managed to come back from the dead, but Roy knew that pressing the issue would be useless if Ed didn't want to talk, so he let it pass for now. "At which point you disappeared, correct?"
"I think so," Al replied. "When I came back, Ed was gone."
He paused for a moment in thought. If Ed had his whole body when he disappeared, why were his limbs missing when he came back? Were those limbs payment to get Al's body back? Yet another question for later. "So then my question still stands. Ed, what happened to you while you were on the other side of the Gate, if that is where you were?"
Ed looked at the table, as if he was honestly trying to remember. "I don't know," he finally said. "I…maybe I was somewhere. I don't remember anything, except…" He paused for a moment before continuing. "It's almost like I'm trying to remember a dream that I'm not even sure I had."
It took a second to realize what Ed was saying, but when he did, Roy froze. Ed's memories of what happened to him, they were taken as payment, just like Al's. God damn it! Roy clenched his jaw, trying to hold back his anger. He was supposed to be the one to sacrifice whatever it took to get Ed back, so that those brothers wouldn't loose anything else. And what about Ed's missing limbs? Were those taken too, or were they already gone?
"Is there something wrong?" Al asked, pulling Roy out of his thoughts.
He calmed himself before thinking. "I'm not sure. Either Ed's memories were taken as payment for bringing him back, or else there were no memories to begin with. However, since you lost memories when you returned, Al, I'm guessing Ed did too."
"Memories of what, though?" Ed asked. "Things happened to Al, he had memories to lose. What memories could I have of being on the other side of the Gate?"
There was a short moment of silence before Al spoke. "Maybe your memories will come back, like mine are."
Roy turned to him. Al was still holding on to that idea? "Have you remembered anything more specific lately?"
"Um, not really. Although the feelings I remembered before are getting a little stronger."
Ed smiled weakly. "That's good, Al. Soon you'll remember everything again."
Roy frowned. Ed shouldn't really be encouraging Al to believe in those false memories his mind was making. However, that was for another day. He had plenty to go over for now, and he certainly did not want to get into a fight with Ed or Al. He slowly got up from his chair, and turned to Ed. "Let me know if you ever feel like filling me in on all the things you left out of your story. I'm sure they're very interesting."
He turned away before Ed could scowl back at him.
Roy settled in a chair on the porch outside. It felt amazingly good to be in the sun after spending so much time inside. Once he got comfortable, he set his mind to figuring out what the hell happened to Ed.
He knew Ed went to confront the person controlling the homunculus on the night he disappeared. There was most likely some kind of fight, which resulted in Ed getting stabbed. That made perfect sense. Then Al mentioned Ed dying, and Ed said Al revived him. How in the hell did Al manage to bring Ed back from the dead? Ed's injury would have been too severe for any kind of medical technique, it had to be something else.
Suddenly it hit him. The Philosopher's Stone. Ed said it was made, maybe that was what Al used to revive him. If Al used it right after Ed died, the Philosopher's Stone would've had enough power to bring Ed's soul back and repair the body, even bring back his lost limbs.
Roy smiled. Al really did keep his promise to restore Ed's arm and leg. But then why did Ed trade his body for Al's so soon after Al managed to fix it?
He was about to delve into that mystery when he heard a familiar voice behind him, sounding impatient.
"Edward said you would be out here."
He turned and saw Hawkeye at the doorway, and immediately frowned. So much for avoiding that budget report.
The next day, Roy figured Ed might be willing to share a bit more of what the hell happened that night.
Ed was in his room, doing some walking exercises with Al. Or rather, pushing Al away as he tried to limp around on his own.
"I can do this just fine, Al," Ed said as he tried turning around.
Al looked more than a little exasperated. "Fine, I'll just let you fall down every time you try to go too fast. This might be better for you anyway." He turned around and finally noticed Roy at the door.
"Oh, hi," he said, smiling. "Ed's ignoring Winry's advice about keeping the walking exercising slow, and seems to be determined to fall down as much as possible."
"Shut up, Al," Ed grumbled. Then as if on cue, he lost his balance and toppled forward.
Roy was about to say something, then thought better of it. The more annoyed Ed was, the less likely it would be that he would say what happened that night. So, instead he merely watched as Al helped Ed get up off the floor.
"Ed, what happened the night you disappeared?" he asked once Ed was standing again.
Ed looked at him harshly. "So is this why you brought me back? So you could squeeze all the information you could out of me?"
It seemed like biting his tongue didn't help anything. "No, it's not. If you don't want to tell me what happened, that's fine, I'll ask Al about it later. I'm sure he'll be happy to tell me what he knows."
There was another pause, then Ed got a nasty grin on his face. "All right, I'll tell you what happened to me that night if you tell me what happened to you that night."
"Fair enough." He slowly walked over to the opposite bed and sat down. "After you left, Hawkeye and I drove to the Fuehrer's mansion. I went and hid in the wine cellar while Hawkeye went to the front door to warn everyone that I was planning to attack the mansion. This was to get everyone that wasn't the Fuehrer out of there. As planned, Bradley stayed behind while his family was whisked away. Finally he came down to the wine cellar and after some words I attacked him.
"He almost killed me. He had me pinned to the wall with his sword, slowly cutting me to death. Then his son came in." Roy paused. This was the hardest part. "At first Bradley acted like the good father, but as soon as he saw that his son brought the skull with him, he broke his neck, even as the son was begging his father to stop. When Bradley threw him to the ground, I pulled the sword from my shoulder and ran to the boy. He was already dead, but the skull was still there, so I used that to destroy Bradley. When I left the mansion, one of Bradley's men shot me in the face, that's why I have this scar. Thankfully Hawkeye was there to kill him before he finished me."
He looked carefully at Ed. "The official reports say he ran away. They looked everywhere, but obviously they never found a body. As the only witnesses to the event, Hawkeye and I testified that the Fuehrer ran off when I confronted him with proof of corruption. I would like the government to continue believing this, Ed. You are just the fourth person to know the truth. When I told Al what happened, I made him promise never to tell what he heard to anyone, including you. I would like a similar promise from you."
Ed frowned, with a distant look on his face. "I knew you would finish him off. Fine, if you won't say anything, neither will I."
Roy thought back to all the times he threatened Ed with revealing his secret of human transmutation. Of course Roy would never tell anyone that secret, but Ed didn't know that. Instead, Ed spent almost every waking moment resenting him for threatening to tell, which led to a very hostile Ed. Roy could've lived without the antagonism, but how else was he going to get Ed to do what he wanted?
"Your turn," he continued after a moment. "What happened that night you disappeared?"
"I went to confront that person, like I said I would. Turns out she was a woman who had been living hundreds of years by using the Philosopher's Stone to bind her soul to different bodies. She claimed to keep humans safe by snatching away the Philosopher's Stone as soon as it was made. She was the one who spread the rumors about the Philosopher's Stone being unattainable, so that only the desperate would go after it. Since that left only a very few who attempted to find it, she could manipulate them as she saw fit, then take the stone if they succeeded. I told her she was full of shit, and then we fought. At one point she sent me to the other side of the gate, but then I somehow got back."
"Wait, you mean you were there before?" Roy asked.
Ed nodded. "I don't remember anything from that time, either. All I remember is being sent to the other side of the Gate, and then fighting my way back to this side."
He frowned in thought. There was that question again. Were Ed's memories taken away, or were there simply no memories to begin with? It didn't seem like Ed was on the other side for very long, so perhaps there just wasn't any memories.
"When I came back, Envy, the homunculus who can change his shape, he attacked me, and eventually stabbed me in the chest. Then Al used the Philosopher's stone to revive me."
"How did Al get the Philosopher's Stone?"
Ed looked confused for a second, then seemed to realize something. "Al was the Philosopher's stone."
Roy found himself frowning harder. "How is that possible?"
"That's what happened at Lior. Scar activated the transmutation circle when all the soldiers were in the town, and turned Al into the Philosopher's Stone. That's why we ran away. All the homunculus, as well as the entire military, would be after Al."
So that's why Ed was acting so strange, Roy thought, remembering when they met up near Rizenboul after the Lior incident. Ed was trying to keep the world's largest secret, and Bradley would stop at nothing to get the Philosopher's Stone.
Ed continued. "Since Al used up all of the Philosopher's Stone to bring me back to life, there was nothing left of him when he was done. When I woke up, I knew I had to bring back Al as soon as possible. So I sacrificed my restored body to bring him back."
"That's when I appeared," Al put in. "It was like…I was in the basement of our house, then suddenly I was in this huge ballroom. All my memories of being in that armor were gone, along with Ed."
Roy was silent for a moment as he let his mind digest all that. "What happened to the person controlling the homunculus?" he finally asked.
Ed shrugged. "I don't know. Even if she didn't die then, she'll be dead soon anyway. Her body was rotting away, and she was about to transfer her soul to another body when I got there. Now that she doesn't have the Philosopher's Stone to extend her life, it's just a matter of time before she rots away. I figure it'll be sooner rather than later, too."
Well, that was good news, at least. No more puppet master to screw humanity over for her own gain. Although that probably wasn't the last of the homunculus. There would always be people stupid enough to try and revive the dead, now what would happen to their mistakes?
But that question would have to be resolved later. "It seems we've both been through a lot, but at least everything turned out fairly well in the end," Roy said, then left the room without waiting for a reply.
He returned to his room, heading straight to the window to let himself mull over what he just heard from Ed and Al.
"All that because someone couldn't stand the idea of dying," Roy said to himself as he looked out over the countryside. Then again, how much better was he? He came way too close to attempting to revive Maes through human transmutation, even though he knew it would never work. Ed and Al missed their dead mother so much that they tried to revive her. That ended in disaster. Even now, Roy did everything he could to bring back Ed, because he couldn't stand the idea of him being gone forever.
"Alchemists really are such sick living things." With a frown, he turned and started in on the work Hawkeye left. He needed the distraction more than anything, and there wasn't enough alcohol in the house to get properly drunk.
A week later Roy, Ed, and Al found themselves home alone. Pinako and Winry had to make a house call on the other side of the village to fix up some auto-mail, and wouldn't be back until that evening. Hawkeye was in Central, and wouldn't be back until tomorrow at the earliest.
Roy figured this would be a good time to have another chat or two with Ed and Al, since there wouldn't be the usual yelling by Winry about Ed's rehab, or Hawkeye pushing more work on him. It would just be the three of them, forced to fend for themselves.
That morning Roy decided to lie out on the grass for a while. He couldn't stand being in his room any longer, and it had been way too long since he'd been more than twenty feet from the house.
After a long while Den came up to him, giving him a sniff before lying down next to him.
"Hello Den," Roy said as he brought up an arm to pet the dog. "Do you realize I've been lying here for who knows how long, doing absolutely nothing? Not even thinking, just lying here staring at the sky and getting my nose sunburned."
He looked at the dog and rubbed his ears before continuing. "How do you stay sane here? I've been incredibly bored for a long time now, and it doesn't look like things will be getting better any time soon. Then again, being stuck in the same room ever since I got here probably has something to do with it."
Roy sighed and decided to change the subject. "There's a dog I know that I'm sure you'd get along great with. He's Hawkeye's dog, Black Hurricane. She calls him Blackie for short. Extremely well trained dog, although considering his master, that's not surprising. Perhaps I should get her to bring him down here so you two could meet." He gave Den another pat, and wondered how Blackie was doing. Hawkeye said she gave him to Havoc while she was out of town, and Roy had to smile at the thought of those two together. He wasn't quite sure who to feel sorry for the most.
A few minutes later there was a shout coming from the house.
"Colonel!"
Roy looked up and saw Al standing on the porch.
"Auntie Pinako left some soup for us," Al said once he got Roy's attention. "I can heat it up for lunch if you want."
He sat up from his spot on the grass. "That's fine, I'll be there in a few minutes."
Really, if it were up to him, Roy would simply let things go on as they were. Ed could continue to hate him forever for all he cared. More to the point, talking to Ed about trust was the last thing on earth Roy wanted to do.
However, the Lior incident revealed that Ed didn't trust him nearly as much as Roy would have liked, and that bothered him. Also, it was obvious that Ed was way too stubborn to let go of his grudges, which really only left one option.
He and Ed, along with Al, had to have a not-so-little talk.
Thus, after lunch and before Ed could escape the room, Roy figured this would be the best chance he'd have in a long, long time.
"Ed, why do you think I brought you back?" he asked.
This immediately put Ed in a bad mood, if he wasn't in one before. "How the hell should I know? You probably want to manipulate us again and do all your dirty work for you." He broke into a nasty grin and added, "But that won't work anymore, because now I have something on you."
Roy shrugged. "If it's easier for you to believe that, feel free to continue hating me."
Ed's grin immediately disappeared. "What does that mean?"
"Oh, I think you have a good idea what it means."
"The Colonel didn't bring you back so he could threaten you again," Al said to his brother. "If he did, why did he tell us about how he killed the Fuehrer? He can't threaten us if we can threaten to tell his secret, too."
Ed lowered his head, as if he were deep in thought.
"There are two reasons why I brought you back, Ed," Roy finally said. "The first reason was because Al would give up anything to have you back, so I felt I should help him. The second reason was that I wanted you back."
"Why did you want me back?" Ed said quietly.
Roy paused. Might as well start from the beginning. "Why do you think I suggested you become a State Alchemist?"
Ed looked up, frowning. "I don't know, maybe because you saw how good we were at alchemy and thought the military could use us?"
"No, that's not the reason." He silently took a deep breath before he began. Ed certainly wasn't making things any easier. "When I went to Risenboul on that night six years ago, I saw two children who had just lost the few things they had left in a desperate attempt to bring back their mother. I wanted to help them, to watch over them so they wouldn't lose anything else. Adopting them outright wasn't an option, thus the only real way I could do that is if they were under my command."
He looked at Ed carefully. "The reason I wanted you to become a State Alchemist was so that I could protect you and help you in any way I could." He turned to Al and added, "The same goes for you, Al. Gaining access to your brother's files was just a cover."
Ed replied before his brother could say anything. "If you were so intent on looking after us, why did you act like such an asshole?" he asked, full of anger.
"You already know that, Ed. Besides, I don't think I was especially mean to you."
Ed couldn't hold it in any longer. "You bastard! I hate you!" He knocked over the chair and grabbed Al, using him as a support in order to get out of the house as fast as he could.
Roy watched as the two made it outside. Things were just getting started.
He really didn't want to sit there until Ed came back, since that was probably going to take at least an hour, so he got up and slowly climbed the stairs to his room. Having round two in his space might be a little unfair, but he figured things had moved way past being fair. Thus he sat on his bed with his back on the headboard, picking up and flipping through a file Hawkeye left for him as he waited.
Within a minute Roy put down the file, rolling his eyes at just how long winded certain generals could be. Now that any thoughts he had of working were killed, he started thinking about what Ed had said earlier, about not remembering anything from the gate.
Ed had a point. What was there for him to remember, anyway? For all Roy knew, Ed was completely unconscious while he was on the other side of the Gate. Thus, there were no memories for him to lose. It certainly was a reasonable explanation.
However, Roy wasn't convinced that was what happened. Ed said something about trying to remember a dream that he wasn't sure he even had. If there was absolutely nothing for Ed to remember, why did he mention that he felt he was someplace, even if it was a vague feeling?
The Gate mentioned that Al had credit, most likely from losing his memories from the time he was in that armor. Roy obviously lost his leg. If the pattern held, that meant Ed would have lost something, too. It could be the restored limbs Al managed to get back, but Roy had a feeling that was what Ed gave up to bring Al back. Which left Ed's memories.
Roy cursed under his breath. Once again his plan wasn't perfect. Ed went somewhere while he was on the other side of the Gate, and there was absolutely no way to ever know what that place was.
A few hours later Ed finally came back, with Al seemingly pushing him from behind. The two sat down on the bed next to Roy's.
"What happened that night you brought me back?" Ed asked.
"As soon as everyone went upstairs to bed, I took a knife from the kitchen and went to my room. Once there, I carved the necessary alchemy arrays on my arms, legs, and chest, then waited for Al. When he finally came, we took some paint and went down to the river, where we drew the transmutation circle. We activated it, and managed to bring you back."
Ed looked like he had just been punched in the gut. "You, you drew the arrays on yourself. You knew what might happen, yet you did it anyway."
"Of course. I certainly didn't want Al to lose anything more."
Ed started yelling, his voice full of anger. "Why are you telling me this! What do you want from me!"
"I don't want anything from you, Ed."
"What do you mean you don't want anything in return!"
"It means just that. I don't want anything in return."
"Quit being so goddamn smug, you bastard!" Then, as if to illustrate his anger, Ed punched the nightstand next to him, smashing it to the ground.
Roy let a moment go by before speaking. "I'm not trying to be smug, I'm just trying to answer your questions."
Ed didn't reply, instead lowering his head as if deep in thought. There was silence after that, as Roy patiently waited for Ed to sort things out in his head. Al was also watching his brother, with a worried look on his face.
It was a long time before Ed spoke, and when he did, he kept his head down. "I hated you so much, all I wanted to do was punch you in the face. But all this time you were trying to help us."
"Don't blame yourself for hating me. Even though I wasn't especially rude to you, I wasn't especially nice to you, either."
It was another long pause before Ed spoke again. "On that night I disappeared, you told me that in order to achieve your goal, you had to take all evil into yourself. You were telling me that in order to get to the top, you had to act like the biggest son of a bitch the military had ever seen. Which meant you couldn't act like you cared about us."
Roy nodded. "That sums it up fairly well. I hoped you would see that I was trying to help you. Al managed to catch on to some degree, but you never did. You paid too much attention to what I said and how I did things, and you were too stubborn to let go of your first impressions. I don't blame you for that either, since I also have a hard time getting past my first impression of people."
He let a moment go before adding, "I don't care if you hate me, Ed. I never did, and I never will. But I would like it if you trusted me more."
"What do you think, Al? Do you think we can trust him?"
"Of course we can."
Ed looked at Roy, and with a sly grin he asked, "If we trust you, will you trust us?"
"I always did." Roy paused for a second, then smiled. He held out his hand, just like he did that night when Ed disappeared.
Ed hesitated at first, giving him an unsure look. Finally he gave in, and the two shook hands.
Roy then turned to Al. "You too, Al. You're also a part of this."
At first, Al looked surprised at the gesture, but that quickly gave way, and he shook Roy's hand with a smile.
"There's one last thing," Roy said once they were done shaking hands. "Al, could you fix the nightstand using alchemy?"
Al gave him a curious look. "Okay, let me get some chalk."
"Without any chalk."
"That's right," Ed spoke up, turning to his brother, "You've seen the Gate, Al. You can use alchemy with just your hands. Here, let me show you."
He clapped his hands, and touched the nightstand. Blue sparks erupted from the surface, and a second later, the stand was back to its original condition.
Roy watched with some sense of accomplishment as Al tried out his new ability on just about everything. The greatest alchemy ability in the world, almost free of charge.
"This means you can do it too, right Colonel?" Al asked once he changed most things back to normal.
Roy thought for a moment. "Let's go outside, and be sure to bring some matches." He got up from the bed, and had to smirk when he saw Ed roll his eyes.
The sun had just set once all three of them came outside. Roy directed Al to make a little pile of firewood several yards away from the house.
"The Colonel is going to show you why he's called the Flame Alchemist," Ed said with some sarcasm once Al was done.
Roy had to smirk at that. "At least I'm not making Al the running target. Then again, I never was aiming directly at you."
Ed looked surprised for just a moment, then went back to frowning. "Light the match, Al," he almost growled.
Al lit the match, and Roy clapped his hands. Red sparks came from them, and almost immediately the pile of wood was engulfed in flames.
"That's amazing!" Al exclaimed as the fire crackled.
Even Ed looked a little impressed. "I didn't know you were that fast."
Roy looked at him and smirked. "I was always that fast, Ed, perhaps you just never noticed." He turned back to the fire, which was growing brighter as the evening grew darker. His smirk turned into a genuine smile as he realized just how very beautiful flames could be.