Do I really need to explain this insanity?
Jason's Pond
Episode 3: Hopelessly Devoted to You, Dr. Pepper
(scene, Folsom High School gymnasium)
Ah, the wonders of a high school dance. A night of dancing, fun and mindless music. Life summed up into just four hours of…
"Jason, who the hell are you talking to?" Raven asked, slapping me in the face. I rubbed my cheek and started to cry into my hands. "Get over it," she sighed, handing me a Dr. Pepper. I did a happy dance and grabbed it, stroking the bottle. "I looooove my Dr. Pepper," I cackled.
"Looks like Jason forgot his medication again," Beast Boy said. "Shut up; I freakin' took my Lexapro… oh wait, that was a week ago. Teenage hormonal inbalance in 3…2…1…waaaaa! I'm so depressed!" I sobbed.
"Next!" the ticket guy said. Suddenly, a car shaped like a Hostess cupcake pulled up to the sidewalk, and Grey Rain, Emmery, blaze-firestorm, and Hikari-Moriyaku got out. "Hey guys!" I smiled, running up to the car. "That's the last time I give you two Doritos on a long car ride!" Emmery yelled at blaze and Hikari. "So, what are you guys doing here?" I asked. "You really think you get to have all the fun?" Grey giggled, doing a jig. "Oh, and we're here to eliminate the threats of Preps."
We filed into the gym, which was decorated with cheap, cardboard stars and streamers, which the school board expected us to admire with pride. cough Anyway, Beast Boy wasted no time grabbing Raven and running off to the dance floor. He started doing an 80s break dance routine and a circle of Preps surrounded him. "Look! A non-conformist! Get him!" one boy yelled, and the group of polo shirted snobs started after him. "Hold on BB, I know just what to do!" I yelled, running to the DJ booth. I popped in a CD, and "Rewrite" by Asian Kung Fu Generation started to play. "Argh, it burnsss!" the Preps screamed, clutching their ears.
Five minutes and multiple puddles of melted polo shirts later, we finally got the party started. Unfortunately, the dance floor was a grueling sweat shop of boys on girls, girls on girls, teachers on boys AND girls. Emmery, Grey, Hikari, blaze and I were dancing with a 2 liter bottle of Dr. Pepper. And of course, Starfire was humping everything in sight like a puppy in heat. Beast Boy and Raven were in the corner, nodding their heads to the beat of Linkin Park. "Um, I have to, um, go to the bathroom," I said nervously. I grabbed the Dr. Pepper and sprinted into the Men's room…
The four hours went by too fast and the last song came on, which was "Closing Time" by Semisonic. The eight of us joined hands and started to sing. "Closing time, one last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer. Closing time, you don't have to go home, but you can't, stay, hereeee." Batman, the cops from Super Troopers, the Snapple lady, Kenny Rogers, Matt Damon and George Lopez filed in, also joining the Love Circle. Then, the big finale:
"I know who I want to take me home!"
"I know who I want to take me home!"
"I know who I want to take me home!"
"Take…me…homeeeeeeee!"
Thanks for reading, now review, or Beast Boy has to shave his arm pits!
"Aww, but I just grew those!"
"Too bad; it's up to readers!"
"Puberty is thy paineth in the asseth."