Author's Note: I am so glad everyone thinks Jason's Pond is enjoyable. If you have any ideas or comments besides a review, feel free to e-mail me or use my AIM (crispehtofu). Oh, also, people have been asking me is Folsom High School is real. Yes, it is; it is the only high school here in our medium-sized town of Folsom, California. Anyway, enjoy the next episode! –Jason
Jason's Pond
Episode 4: Super Anime Battle POW!
(scene, Titans Tower)
"Whew, what a night!" I said, plopping down on the couch. "Yeah, but it was fun," Blaze said from the doorway. "What the? Are you guys still here?" I said, kind of annoyed. "You're the one who brought us into the story!" Grey said, crossing his arms. grumble "Fine. Just don't eat my tofu or Beast Boy's either. There'll be HELL to pay…"
We wanted to watch a movie or play a board game, but Starfire was busy pleasuring Batman on the sofa, so we decided to go to bed. Emmery, Blaze, Grey and Hikari took the evidence room and the rest of us went to our own rooms. I was walking down the hall to my room when I heard noises from Robin's dwelling:
"Say it, my Boy Wonder!"
"No, please don't Cy-"
SLAP
sobs
"Ok, OK! I'm a little teacup, short and stout, here is my handle, touch my spout…"
"Now take the rubber chicken and-"
I shuffled away from the door in the fear of hearing more and vomiting. I entered the combo to open my door and walked in, yawning. I couldn't wait to go to sleep. I pulled down the sheets to my bed, only to reveal the lip-synching Ashlee Simpson!
"Like, hey Jason!" she cackled. "I'm here to take revenge for that incident you caused at my show!" "What incid-" I started to say, but then remembered…
-FLASHBACK-
(Saturday Night Live stage)
"Blah blah blah I'm a poser punk rocker watch me make millions in just secon-" screeched little Ashlee Simpson to the screaming 11-year-olds.
Jason stood backstage and was laughing cynically. "Time to pull to plug on her little show!" he said, holding a long, orange extension cord. He pulled it in one swift motion and the whole studio went pitch black, then flickered back to life. Ashlee stopped singing in fear, but the music kept playing, with her ugly voice still blaring through the speakers. "Noooo!" she wailed, running off the stage…
-END FLASHBACK-
"Oh yeah…I remember it perfectly now," I said, laughing. "That was fun." She charged at me, screaming like Oprah Winfrey finding out her favorite pie is all sold out. I dodged her pathetic attack easily, and kicked her legs from under her. She went flying to the floor, smacking her head against the carpet. I waited for the evil girl to get up, but she lay perfectly still.
"Wow, that was sad," I said, sighing. Everyone else had heard the commotion and ran into my room, looking from me to Ashlee, back to me again. "What the hell did you do to her?" Cyborg said, wiping sweat from his face. "Um, I believe I just killed Ashlee Simpson." "No shit, Sherlock!" Robin looked at me strangely. "Why do you hate Ashlee Simpson so much anyway?"
-FLASH EVEN-MORE-BACK-
I stood in the supermarket trying to find my favorite tofu, when a girl walked up next to me. We stood there for a couple minutes when the girl reached out and grabbed a box of the soy goodness. "Hey, I was looking for that!" I said angrily. "Haha, you snooze you lose kid!" the girl said. "You'll just force-vomit it into the toilet later bitch!" Ashlee Simpson gave me an evil glare and walked away, a stupid, snobby smile on her face…
-END FLASHBACK-
"Ok, this is getting really stupid," Emmery said, rolling her eyes and sighing. "No worries; I'm gonna call someone," I said, dialing my cell phone.
-TWO MINUTES LATER-
William Shatner appeared in the window, a stupid grin plastered on his face. "Hey Bill; got the body you wanted. Now where's the pure stuff?" has all your travel needs in one place!" Shatner said, throwing me a six-pack of Dr. Pepper straight the bottling plant in Texas. "Shut up, Shatner!" I screamed, pushing him out the window.
"Is it just me, or did this story make absolutely no sense?" Blaze said, crying into her hands. "Amen to that!" I said, doing the Twist with Columbian superstar Shakira…
Well, review! I'm not paying you for nothing! Wait, what? My brain itches.