(theme song)

(shot of Beast Boy crying like a little girl)

(random shot of a tree)

(and, we're good)

Jason's Pond

Episode 5: St. Patty's Day

What a beautiful day at Titans Tower. It was St. Patty's Day, and 8 days until my birthday! Things were starting to look up-

until Beast Boy walked into my room stark naked. "Why are you naked?" I asked incredously. "Well, this is the one holiday where my skin pays off, so why not show it off?" he smiled, putting his hands on his hips. "At least put some shorts on!" I yelled angrily. "Never!" he laughed idiotically, then ran out of the room, into a wall…

It seems everyone else had the spirit too. Starfire had elected to wear a green thong and even Raven had worn a three-leaf clover pin on her cloak. "Isn't today the best holiday ever!" I said excitedly. "Like I don't get enough green already," Raven said in a monotone voice.

Just then, Robin and Cyborg came up in matching green suits and green lipstick. "Like, we look adorable!" Cyborg gushed, and Robin giggled. "We are so cute!" I vomited into their suits and they screamed. "Ewwwww! Oh my Jesus!" they sobbed, running away like prancing schoolgirls to the bathroom.

Chemistry class was extremely boring and meaningless, as always. I knew I was going to fail, so I didn't even bring my binder for the class anymore.

"Jason, why are you such a bother to me?" Mrs. Guarienti sobbed, banging her head on the desk. "Why can't you be good like all the other students?" "Um, because I'm not a suck-up who laughs at your crappy jokes and does whatever you want?" I answered. The teacher started sobbing again.

Mrs. Gibson, my English teacher, is the coolest person around. "Happy St. Patrick's Day!" she said to our class. "I decided we're going to have a party!" She took out a couple of bottles of vodka and beer and started passing them around the class. "Um, Mrs. Gibson, I'm very uncomfortable drinking in class with you," a girl said nervously. "You bitch! Get out of my classroom!" Mrs. Gibson screamed, beating the sobbing girl with a yardstick ruler. The class cheered and we started to dance the monkey on our desks.

At lunchtime, Beast Boy and I performed a jig to a Flogging Molly song out on the patio area. I really didn't want BB's wobbly bodyparts touching me, so I danced about five feet away.

After school, we decided to head on over to our local Long's Drugs where I worked, and pick up a six-pack of Bud. My co-worker Sarah looked at us with a retarded glance. "Um, uh, you are over 21 Jason?" she asked. "Yeah, sure I am," I lied. "Ok, your total comes to eleventy-blue dollars," she said. I handed her a pack of Chiclets and left.

"Well, another idiotic day with idiotic people," Raven said, smoking a Malboro. "Smoking's bad for you, Rae," Beast Boy said, smoking a joint. "You hypocrite."

"Thank you." "You're welcome."

Well, wasn't it great? No? Exactly. Look for my birthday special coming soon (my b-day's the 25th). :D