You're better off not asking. Just, yeah. Don't ask. Please.
Jason's Pond
Chapter 6: Belated Birthday Bash!
"Happiest of birthdays, frie-" Starfire tried to say, but was stopped when I pushed her into a trash can.
"Wow, someone's in a bad mood on their special day!" Robin giggled, prancing around like a fairy. "Wow, someone's about to get their neck broken!" I said with a maniac-like smile. Robin went pale and started to cry. "You're so hurtful!"
As I walked into the living room, streamers and balloons were everywhere, all saying "Happy Birthday!" Enraged, I grabbed the nearest streamers and ripped them down, stomping on them repeatedly. "It's not my birthday! My birthday was almost a month ago and you all forgot it!" I screamed.
Beast Boy came in holding a cake. "Yay! I made your favorite: Tofu vanilla! Mmm." I did one of my famous death glares and screamed again as my eyes rolled into the back of my head. "Don't celebrate my birthday late! It's pointless and stupid! Just forget it!"
moment of silence-
"Why don't you make a wish?" he said, smiling sweetly. "OK… I wish all of you would go to Hell!" I cackled, hoping that would piss them off.
"Yay!" they all said, clapping and smiling. I started to tremble and looked at them as if they were having a mass orgy with Rosie O' Donnell. "Whyyy?" I whispered. "Whyyy me?"
They started to slice the cake and pass presents towards me. "Open mine first!" Cyborg giggled with glee. I tore open the cheap-looking wrapping paper and saw a bottle of K & Y lube. "Oops…umm… that's mine," he said, sweat-dropping. "Here," he said, giving me another. I tore it open. Another bottle of K & Y. "Happy Birthday!" Cyborg shouted. "I hate you all so much!" I said, sobbing into my hands.
"Raven and I chipped in for this," Beast Boy smiled, pointing to a brand-new DDR pad. My eyes turned into cheap, red cartoon hearts and I ran over to it. "Wow, thanks guys," I said, "but it's not my birthday." They just smiled and clapped. Oh boy.
one writer's block moment later-
Red X popped into the scene, you know, magically. Yeah. "Hello Titans," he said in a voice that sounded quite like Robin's. I heard it was someone's birthday, so I hired my good friend to come entertain. Mike, come out please!" The next thing I knew, Michael Jackson popped into the living room next to X, putting powder on his face. "Oh, I love birthdays! They celebrate the innocence of a beautiful child growing older. Ye-he!" the pop star squealed, doing the moonwalk. "Sweet Jesus," I said, feeling very ill.
"So how old are you today Jimmy?" Michael asked, pluckering his lips. "I'm 17, and my name's Jason," I said, almost crying. The pop star stepped backwards in disgust. "Eww. Too old," he said, skipping out the front door.
"So, how was your birthday?" the Titans asked. "You're so hurtful!" I screamed, jumping out the window.
…
…
"Do you guys think we should have told him it was Belated April Fool's Day?"
…
…
"Nah."