Elissa huffed out a mournful sigh as she unpacked her belongings, dropping them without a care on the double bed.

As Warden-Commander, her quarters were nicer than what the other Grey Wardens had. Not that she asked for preferential treatment, it was just a given due to her rank in the Wardens. But Virgil's Keep was her home now, so she resolved to make it look like her home. It was fitting really. She was probably in the very room that Rendon Howe stayed in, and now she laying claim to it. But that wasn't quite enough; she needed to make a symbolic gesture for Howe's betrayal.

She surveyed the room, spotting a portrait of Howe hung above the fireplace. Oh, how good it would feel to ruin it. She knocked the portrait down using her sword, watching gleefully as a corner broke as it landed on the floor with a crash. "Not so confident now." She laughed as she picked up the portrait, and proceeded to throw it off the balcony into the snow covered garden below.

The feeling it gave her was brief, as her thoughts quickly returned to the man she had desperately tried to forget.

She left Denerim with a final goodbye to her love and the man she made king. There were no regrets in making him king, but she wished he understood the choices she made at the Landsmeet. But, it was over now. She had a new life to start and Alistair wasn't included in that.

They loved each other, truly loved each other. But she left Denerim wondering if that had been true. Surely if they had loved each other so much, their love would have endured. Maybe it was just circumstance that convinced them that it was love. Maybe they were just naïve fools, trying to make their way through their new, unsheltered lives without experience to know what was real or not.

She sat on the bed, picking up the rose that Alistair had given her. Wynne had enchanted it so it wouldn't wilt, knowing Elissa wouldn't want to give it up. Only something had happened to the rose. The petals had started to die since she left Denerim making her wonder exactly what Wynne did to it. Just as she put it down, a petal fell off and landed softly on the floor.

A knock on the door pulled Elissa from her musings. "Come in."

The door opened, and a man who painfully reminded her of Alistair stepped just inside the room. "Are you settled in?" Anders asked, noting the sadness in her normally bright blue eyes.

"Yes, Anders. I…." She could never tell him that she struggled to look at him at times. It wasn't his fault that she hurt, or that he happened to be a reminder of the love that she lost. "Have the other wardens arrived?"

"Yes, Commander. They are getting acquainted with the castle." He knew that something about him bothered her, but he wasn't sure what it was. He was sure it wasn't because he was a mage, as she was completely fine with other mages. Now was the time to ask her. He stepped into the room properly and walked towards her. "Elissa, may I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why do you look at me with such sadness?"

Elissa's head slumped down, both embarrassed and ashamed. She had no idea that her emotions were so easily read. "I suppose there's no point in hiding it. You remind me of someone whom I deeply loved. The man I made king."

"King Alistair?" Anders was surprised at her admission. "He was a Warden?"

Elissa stood up and walked towards the window, watching as the snow fell heavily. It reminded her of winters in Highever, playing with the Mabari dogs, and dodging snowballs thrown by the village children. "We travelled together during the blight. We fell in love, but the future of Ferelden made it impossible for us to be together."

"I'm sorry. I know what it means to put duty before the heart." He joined her at the window, giving her a sad smile. For the first time since he had known her, he saw a brief smile on her face. "Sometimes, even the right choice hurts."

"I hope it was the right choice." A light laugh escaped her as she saw some villagers throwing snow at each other. They were happy, and they should be. After the blight, grabbing even just a brief moment of happiness was needed to soothe the soul. "I hope one day it stops hurting."

"Warden Hara, do you have the deep road reports?" Elissa asked the young elven recruit.

"Yes, Ser." Hara placed the reports on the desk. "As you can see, the darkspawn are still present although the threat has started to lessen."

"That is good." A sudden overwhelming sense of nausea over took her. She fought stop herself from vomiting all over the reports. "No more issues in Redcliffe?"

"Commander, are you ok?" Hara asked, concerned by the look on her Commander's face.

"I feel a little light headed. I'll be fine." Elissa assured her.

"Ok." Hara was unconvinced but she chose to drop it. "Arl Teagan himself has confirmed that there have been no issues. And he sends you his best wishes."

Elissa caught the smirk on her young recruit's face. "Is that all, Hara?"

"A letter from your brother arrived." Hara and the recruits rarely saw their Commander look happy, but whenever there was a letter from her brother, her eyes lit up. "I'll leave to you read his letter in peace."

"Thank you, Hara."

Little sister,

I was thinking maybe I could come to visit you soon.

What was once our home, is now a strange place. Gone are the happy times, loud voices and love, replaced by a sad silence.

I've taken to sleeping in your old room. I cant face my room, nor our parents room. Just seeing those empty rooms would break me.

I miss you, my sweet little sister,

Gus.

Elissa hadn't realised she was crying until tears dropped onto the letter, smudging the ink on the paper. The cursed blight had taken everything from her. If her father hadn't been forced to send troops to Ostagar, they would have been there to defend the castle from Howe's attack, and her parents, Oriana and Oren would be alive.

Dearest brother,

Nothing would make me happier than to see you in person, rather than words on paper.

We are the only two Couslands left, kept apart by duty. I curse the Maker for the unfairness in that.

At least the Maker let me have you. I don't know what I'd do if I were the last of the Couslands.

I love you, dear brother.

Ellie.

Elissa sealed the letter inside the envelope and placed it on the desk. She hoped one day that Fergus would find a nice woman to take care of him. Despite his gruffness, he was a gentle soul and he was without a doubt missing his wife and son.

He was so happy the day that Oriana gave birth to Oren. He was smitten with his son from his first cry, and Elissa wondered if Oriana would have birthed more children. She suspected that more children would have happened as Fergus wanted more, so did Oriana.

But Elissa understood that Fergus couldn't think about that now. She knew her brother would be blaming himself for not being there to protect them. He would carry it around like a millstone for the rest of his life.

Maybe the Maker would find a way to heal their broken hearts, and help them rebuild their family again.

Maybe it would always be that way.