How To Make Anime, 4Kids Style!
Disclaimer: I do not own 4Kids (Thank God) or any anime it has butcherd.
So you have decided to work at 4Kids, eh?
Well, you need to learn a thing or two about making anime, the 4Kids way!
Rule1: Find the best anime series no one has licensed in America and get the rights to it before someone responsible does.
Rule2: When you have your anime, most likely a really good one, you need to go through the scripts from the manga or anime it started from, and tear the plot right open. Make sure everything happened differently in your version than it did in the original. But make sure the plot is just a bit like the original, so as to fool the people who haven't seen the original.
Rule3: Make sure there is plenty of pointless jokes to detract from the story, because no one likes the plot to be the main focus of the story anyway.
Rule4: The names of all characters other than the main ones must be changed to fit the supposed American market. And the names must never make sense, it's just not the 4Kids way.
Rule5: The characters must spend half the time talking about friendship and togetherness, and the other half fighting while stating the obvies.
Rule6: The fights can't have blood or gore, because it has to be for kids. In fact, get rid of all language and anything even remotely mature, like romance and realistic fighting sequences.
Rule7: Make the show look terrible and not proportional. We can't have a realistic kids show.
Rule8:Make sure that the main character is grossly optimistic, and have the characters who hate each other fight often, but never let them go there separate ways.
Rule9:Always make the events steer into a senerio that is impossible to have the good guys come out on top, then break the reality of the some in order to get out of that corner. Make the character stand as one and suddenly get more powerful, or have past enemies come back to help out. In fact, make sure every past enemy comes back to join the merry bad of misfits, because everyone knows people can't hold grudges.
Rule10: Find the worst possible voices for each and every character, and never try to dub the voices well, because we can't have people thinking our characters have emotions, because real people don't.
I hope you succeed in making anime as good as our versions of Shaman King, Mew mew power, and One piece! If you don't, people have to watch good anime instead of ours.