Carly-chan: I've been wanting to write this fanfic for a while, ever since I downloaded the music video for this song and my friends and I thought it would be fun to act it out with my Ren and Horo action figures. Then realizing that it worked well and was extremely fun, we did it five more times… it was rather amusing. So from that this songfic was born…and I hope that I don't mess it up too much because I'm in a hurry. Just as a note Ren plays the part of the girl (we had decided that he was the more feminine one out of the two so naturally he would be the girl) … I didn't want to edit the lyrics and the song is about a girl and a guy.

Just a question…what's the deal with songfics lately? I see a lot of people writing fics that seem to be songfics but instead they just say something like 'this fic is best when listening to the song ' of 'I recommend you play when you read this'. Is posting the lyrics no longer allowed? I'm gonna post the lyrics anyway because I looked and I didn't see anything about it…but if somebody could clear this up for me I'm be grateful.

Disclaimer: I do not own shaman king or the song whiskey lullaby in any way… heh I wish…I totally love them both!

Melody of Alcohol

"Guys I'm ho-" Home. It was the word that the Ainu Horokeu Usui never got to say, a word that he'd never truly know the meaning of again. His cheerful tone was shattered as his eyes looked upon a horrid thing.

It was just a month ago that Horo and Ren had announced their secret love to the world, the love that had been going on for a year and a half tomorrow. Someone had caught them so they talked and decided that rather than having that person tell their friends what he saw they would do it… finally they would. Some of their friends were slower than the others to accept their love, it was shocking really but soon time wore away the shock and it was just a normal thing. One thing was certain though, by now it should have been, no it was, clear to all of their friends that their relationship wasn't just a friendly one.

In that moment, like a vision of his life flashing before his eyes, Horo remembered one of the secret nights he spent with his Chinese love. It was the anniversary of the day that they first met and there had been a mysterious black out in the great city of Tokyo. In the pitched black darkness of that night the Funbari Onsen was thrown into chaos… but Horo and Ren were able to slip out the door quietly, leaving the remaining patrons of the Onsen wondering where they disappeared too. Rumors flew among them of ghosts and ghouls and horrible things that could have taken them, none of them were true of course, they were only intended to scare.

Horo had taken hold of Ren's hand and was leading him, leading him, and leading him further on. They went past the jungle of concrete and steel, thrown into turmoil without their technology and deep into the forest until they came to a clearing. The clearing seemed like a perfect haven of nature, surrounded by healthy trees and flowers with a lake on one side, lit by the pale moonlight in a magnificent way with animals of the night all around. There was a rock in the center, big enough for a few people to lay on and tilted up towards the sky slightly. Even Ren was made speechless by the perfect beauty of this place that he saw as if in a dream.

"Horo… this place…" Ren didn't know what to say, he didn't know why he had even begun to speak or what he was really saying.

"I know Ren… this is my special place that I found." Horo took control of the conversation for once, at least until Ren composed himself again. He laid down on the rock and, following his lead, Ren was soon sprawled out next to him. As they looked up at the star filled sky, uninterrupted by the lights of the city, it was as if they were absorbed in its beauty and couldn't speak. After a few long moments of that romantic silence Ren , it seemed, couldn't take it anymore.

"Horo… why did you bring me here?" Ren's voice was soft and actually soothing for once, the midnight sky's blanket of stars could do that to people. Although a soft gentle lover who would hold him in his arms did sound appealing to Horo, he loved Ren for the arrogant wild boy he really was.

"I brought you here to this place that is special to me to tell you that I'll never be unfaithful to you, and to swear it to you with the billions of stars in the sky and the nature as my witness. Ren…I love you." Horo was so sweet to Ren like this sometimes, Ren only wished that he deserved it, and that he could love the Ainu boy with a full, not partially blackened heart.

Ren would never swear an oath of faithfulness, he wasn't one to make promises that he wasn't certain he could keep. With a smile and a nod he turned to his love and kissed him, pulling away only to say the words "I love you too Horo." Horo had taken the nod and the kiss to mean that he would be faithful too, he was certain that was what it meant, how could he have been wrong about something like that.

--End Flashback--

He had thought that the two of him were his friends, and the one his lover, but they had betrayed him in a horrible way. There they were, his lover, Ren and his good friend, Yoh, in a locked in a kiss before he had intruded, their hands roaming freely.

"Ren?" Horo questioned, his voice came out in a hurt whimper. Horo couldn't tell what he was feeling at the moment, his eyes were welling up with tears but there was a fierce look of anger in them. His eyes were as if that of a dog that had just been thrown out into the cold world and kicked around, not wanting to be touched and demanding and explanation.

"Horokeu!" Ren was shocked that he had been caught in this devious act. He knew that the old "it's not what it looks like I swear" excuse wouldn't work now, not for the owner of those piercing, hurt eyes. The way that Ren called out Horo's full name in that nightmarish moment burned into his heart forever. 'Horokeu'… when it came from the mouth that had jaded him it seemed to be such an unpleasant word. Ren released Yoh and backed away from him a few inches. "Horo… please leave now…I'll come to your room later, we'll talk this through alright?" Ren wished it could be that simple, oh he desperately wished it could.

She put him out,
Like the burning end of a midnight cigarette.

However, when Ren came to his love's room that night Horo wasn't there, and he wasn't there for so many nights after that. The Onsen buzzed in confusion, they demanded answers but Ren and Yoh wouldn't say a word about it, how could they let their friends know that they were responsible for the disappearance of Horokeu Usui, they would surely be hated. In the three weeks that the boy was gone each and every one of them realized how they really did miss him, how they loved him. Even those at the Onsen who hadn't known him too well realized how different things were without him, how quiet, sad and empty things were. Everyone missed the bustling, fun and crazy way that their home was when he was there. They all regretted not realizing it sooner but nobody could regret it as much as Ren, the agonizing truth of how horrible his mistakes were and how much he missed that fool haunted him for every moment of the day, causing him to lock himself away in his room or to mope around as if he were dead on his feet.

When three weeks had passed and the group of energetic friends began to lose hope and mourn the loss of their friend, whatever may have happened to him, he suddenly appeared again. It was a miracle to them when he returned. Ren, who had been locked solemnly away in his room, upon hearing the voice of his dear HoroHoro came bounding out of his room and nearly threw himself at his friend and lover. Although Horo's voice was husky from his dry throat, Ren could recognize it in an instant.

Ren hadn't looked, really looked, at Horo yet since he was home. He had just now noticed. "Ugh Horo you're a wreck! Your clothes are tattered and you reek of alcohol! You look and smell like a bum! …Horo you should really take a bath… are you alright?" Ren's complaints turned to concern rather quickly, his strangely crazy friend was so quiet…it didn't seem like him, not the Horo he knew.

Horo simply nodded and headed off to the bath, he didn't protest at all… Ren was scared for him.

In the months that followed the Onsen was never the same, it was never to be the same again. Horo and Ren had suffered a silent mutual breakup, neither spoke the words but they both knew that it was over. Horo was no longer the same person that Ren fell in love with and Ren had betrayed him, perhaps pushing him towards becoming this new gloomy figure that seemed barely alive. Ren and Horo no longer fought energetically over silly things and nobody beat up Chocolove anymore for his stupid jokes because they were never told. There was too much gloom in the house to even attempt to think of jokes, it was a bit odd that when his "Wind of Laughter" would have been most helpful, he couldn't even conjure up a very boring joke, this made him terribly sad. When the people of the Onsen saw Ren, Horo or Chocolove they were also infected by the sadness that emanated from them. Their team, Ren's team, had taken a plummet together… Ren felt that he was responsible for this, pushing him deeper into his depression.

They all just wished that the horrible thing could be forgotten, that it could be wiped from their memories so easily. It was a desperate hope, a longing that things could go back to the way they were. Even Dr. Faust, who was insane before he met these people, couldn't bring himself up to a level of enthusiasm to act in his insane ways. They all looked like they were mourning a great loss of someone important to them, that they should be dressed in funeral attire. Truly though, they were… the loss of the HoroHoro that they knew, then Ren, Chocolove came next and Yoh, realizing that he was partly to blame. The others didn't have a personal reason, they were simply infected by the horrid darkness that came from their friends, they couldn't leave them though… not like this. They mourned the loss of themselves.

She broke his heart.
He spent his whole life trying to forget.

Carly-chan: Well…I did intend for this to be a one shot (why does that never work for me?) songfic but it turned out to be longer than I had thought. Ok yay for me writing a story where I actually bluntly come out and talk about the Ren and Horo (and slight Ren and Yoh) Yaoi! Yay! …Oh and… if anybody asks… this is totally not just something for me to do to keep my mind off being guilty about not doing my summer homework…nope not at all! ..eh heh heh heh. Well I hope you all like it so far!