Title: Where You Lead I Will Follow
Genre: Angst/Romance
Pairing: McKay/Weir
Spoilers: "Underground", "The Storm", "The Eye"
Summary: Missing scene for "The Eye". In the minutes waiting until their deaths, what happened with Weir and McKay?
Author's Note: Easier way of writing the summary: pre- and leading to "the cuddle". Short little thing, but I hope you like. Thanks to Hans for the beta!
Elizabeth Weir blinked feverishly, trying to keep the rain out of her eyes. A cold wind whipped her damp hair onto her face, and she wrapped her arms around herself to keep warm. She exchanged a glance with Rodney, who was sitting beside her on the steps, his position similar to hers. Elizabeth wasn't sure if it was his fear or hers that she sensed in the air – perhaps both. Her eyes trailed to where Koyla stood several feet away, and the shiver that went through her body afterwards had nothing to do with the cold. She screwed her eyes tightly together, the image of what had happened moments ago weighing heavily on her mind. Koyla had grasped Rodney by the lapel of his jacket, pushing him almost over the balcony, his eyes flashing dangerously, demanding to know how to turn the shield off. There had been a terrifying moment afterward when Sora radioed through that only five men had survived. Anger consumed Koyla's face, and he shoved Rodney further. Elizabeth remembered too clearly watching Rodney's shoulders pass the railing, her mind already filled with images of him falling to the choppy waters below. She had lunged forward, digging her fingers into Koyla's arm, trying desperately to yank his arm away. Rodney reminded him of the situation – but Koyla had already begun to loosen his grip, stepping away with a jerk. The helpless feeling that had filled her entire body at that moment had drifted to the back of her mind by now, but it was still there.
They were as helpless as they were when Koyla had been pointing a gun at Elizabeth; when he had been ready to throw Rodney off the balcony. The only thing keeping them from death was Koyla's mind. Rodney was the only one who could fix the grounding station – but Koyla had almost killed him. The anger, the fury, the will to kill: none of it had been for show. Koyla would have killed Rodney if he hadn't realized the repercussions of such an action upon himself. The next time Koyla snapped, one of them – or both – would suffer.
The brief relief that speaking on the radio with John had provided her with had long since faded. Lieutenant Ford, Doctor Beckett and Teyla were most likely seeking cover on the mainland – God, she hoped they were okay – and that left only Major Sheppard to deal with Koyla. The odds were definitely in the favor of the Genii.
And then there was that worrying bit about Koyla promising her death, again. If Sheppard didn't fix the generator within ten minutes, Koyla would kill her. Another ten minutes after that and he would turn his gun to Rodney. Elizabeth felt her body shudder as another burst of wind whipped by them, the freezing rain pelting them. Rodney scooted a little closer to her, their shoulders touching, their faces bent close to one another.
"Ten minutes isn't nearly enough –" Elizabeth spoke loudly so Rodney could hear her over the rain.
"Sheppard will get it done," he shouted back to her, cutting her off. Had neither of them been so close to death, Elizabeth would've laughed at the irony of this. Rodney had always been the pessimistic one, and she the one to convince him otherwise. His words lifted her thoughts, and she tried to ignore the fear in his face. Still, she had looked down the barrel of Koyla's gun, gone into that blind pre-death panic earlier that night – and it had made her even more terrified.
Another gust of wind came, and both of them shivered. Rodney shifted, wrapping his arm around her. She instinctively leaned to her left and rested against his chest, still hugging herself. Rodney let his cheek rest against her wet hair, his eyes closed against the rain. Elizabeth felt her shivering begin to lessen, and she sighed softly. As the precious time clicked away, the chill returned. She squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to cry. The rain would wipe the tears away, but she'd be damned if she would face her death sobbing in front of a man like Koyla.
She felt Rodney's lips softly touch her ear a moment later, followed by a soft whisper. It was so quiet that she should have missed it – and perhaps that was what Rodney had intended. "I'll go first," he'd whispered. Elizabeth had been taken by surprise by the graze of his lips on his skin – and afterwards, she realized that, had she not heard the whisper, she wouldn't have minded.
Her body felt weary as she thought of his words. Somewhere deep inside of her had already suggested that this would be what Rodney would do – but she'd been stubborn and ignored it. Her eyes shut deeply, remembering the searing panic that gripped her earlier when Koyla had almost killed him. If she had it her way, she would never feel that panic again. But it was not up to her – it was up to Koyla and this sick game he'd entrapped John in. A burning sense of self-loathing bubbled into her throat. Koyla could've killed Rodney earlier – she'd been unable to protect him. Rodney had protected her earlier in the day, and she couldn't return the favor. He was ready to do it again. He was going to die for the chance that she might live, and she hated herself for it.
But the thing that troubled her most was the fact that she was going to let him go first. What kind of person would do that? Except…it was more than that. She wanted him to go first. Burning tears pricked at her eyes. However long she lived, be it ten minutes or seventy more years, she would carry the burden of his death on her shoulders. Rodney – nearly the closest friend she had on Atlantis – gone. It was a pain she couldn't imagine carrying – that she would do anything not to carry. But she didn't want it to fall on Rodney. At least, this way, he would die a relatively painless death. He would believe that he was saving her, when he was really only saving her body. Yet…she wouldn't have it any other way. Rodney simply didn't understand how much he meant to her – that every time he placed himself in danger he was carrying her heart with him.
Elizabeth turned, looking over Rodney's arm as Koyla walked over, smirk playing on his face. It was hard to tell what his intentions were. Rodney turned as well, and Elizabeth could feel this pulse quicken. Keeping her eyes on Koyla, she let her hand travel around Rodney's ribs, squeezing gently. Rodney looked at her, and she let her eyes convey what she couldn't put into words. A moment later, she tore her gaze from him to land on Koyla. Her heart fluttered and she waited for Koyla to speak. Rodney's arm tightened around her shoulders.
"It seems Major Sheppard wants you to live," Koyla said slowly, narrowing his eyes. "Let's get back to work." Elizabeth and Rodney's composures softened quickly. Elizabeth let her eyelids fall and took a moment to gather herself.
They were going to live.
Both of them.