Mustard!
written by: oathk33p3r
Disclaimer: I only own Linda. That's it. And the fat guy. This is the editted version of Mustard!. Read at your own risk.
Sora's True Love
You are my light,
That is why you are bright
Sora and the rest of the gang pushed open the glass door of McDonald's. Having too much pot, or potions, Goofy started to sing the McDonald's theme song at the top of his lungs. Surprisingly, Donald followed him.
"Bala ba ba ba I'm lovin' it!" They dropped to the clean, tile floor and rolled about.
Sora rolled his eyes. "Animals" he muttered.
A big fat man with a spatula and a hair net looked up from his greasy French fries. Spying Sora and the two "animals", he lumbered through the aisles of other greasy food and walked up to Sora.
"No animals are allowed here," he growled.
A scent of heavy onions trailed through the air and up Sora's nostrils. The boogers he couldn't reach with his fingers couldn't cling onto his nose hair any longer and helplessly fell onto the clean floor.
"Ok…" he choked pinching his nose and preventing more boogers to fall out; he was going to leave anyway.
Sora picked up Donald and Goofy by the neck of their shirts and dragged them outside.
Donald slapped Sora's hand away and pouted.
"I'm not an animal…" he muttered.
"Gwarsh. We're not that bad," Goofy added.
Sora sighed and sat on the curb of the vandalized street. He stared at the ground and poked at a lonely, empty cup with a large "M" printed on it. Then, he spotted something yellow; his favorite color.
"YELLOW!" He squealed as he dove for the yellow piece of something.
He picked it up gingerly with two trembling, gloved hands.
In the distance, Goofy and Donald was arm in arm, crying at the beautiful sight. How they got there, nobody knows. A faint, romantic music of bells and violins chided somewhere even further away.
"There's nothing better than love at first sight," Donald blew his nose.
"Yeah," Goofy nodded.
Sora sat there crouched in the street, stroking the sweet, innocent thing. It looked so beautiful: a lustrous, plastic package covered the golden mustard inside. Fine printing was imprinted on the side. It listed all the marvelous things contained in that small, shiny package. And of course, there was a small picture of a hot dog in the corner.
"I'll name you… Linda, my sweet," Sora grinned.
He continued stroking it, staring at what was supposed to be "Linda's" eyes.
It took at least three hours for Donald and Goofy to finally drag Sora back to his home. Eager to introduce Linda to his friends, Sora dashed to Kairi's house and grabbed her hand as soon as she came out.
"Come with me! Hurry!" Sora impatiently tugged at Kairi's frail arm.
Yes, only one of her arms was skinny. The other one was sinewy, muscular, and as large as her whole body.
"Where are you taking me?" Kairi asked, giggling as she swung her abnormally large arm about.
"There's somebody I want to introduce you to," he answered, grinning ear to ear.
Kairi's smile faded.
"Is the person a girl?" She asked.
Sora shrugged, still grinning.
I hope not...
It was amazing that it took such a long time to get from Kairi's to Sora's house seeing that they lived right next to each other.
"Where's your new friend?'' Kairi looked around the room. Her arm accidentally knocked over Sora's dirt collection. Surprisingly, he didn't mind.
Sora pointed at a velvet cushion with a glass case over it.
"Kairi, this is Linda, Linda, this is Kairi.
The auburn hair girl stood there with a blank stare. She fifteen times then finally opened her mouth.
"What am I suppose to be looking at?"
"My new friend. It was love at first sight. Wasn't it Linda" He winked at the mustard.
"Sora, stop joking around!" Kairi said, exasperated.
"I'm not! I'm serious!" Sora, indeed looked serious.
How serious was he? Well, his nostrils were flaring and his eyebrows were literally knit together. His hair practically lifted off his head and he was eyeing his desk suspiciously.
Kairi glared at him and slammed her normal arm on his desk.
"Look at me, you idiot, not your desk!" Kairi hissed.
"Oh, sorry," Sora looked at Kairi again.
"If there was a fire, who would you save; me or her?" Kairi pointed at Linda when she said "her".
Kairi expected Sora to say "you" without even thinking, but she was totally wrong.
"I'll have to sleep on that." Sora replied.
Kairi clenched her teeth and balled her hands into fists.
"That's it, we're through! I'm going to break up with you," Kairi screamed through salty tears.
She turned around to leave the room.
He's going to want me back.
Kairi expected him to grab her hand, but no such thing happened. Not being able to hold it any longer, she looked back.
Sora was talking to Linda as if nothing had happened.
This made her blood boiled.
Sora's gone crazy!