Mustard!
written by: oathk33p3r
Disclaimer: I only own Linda. That's it. And the plot. Read at your own risk.
The Secret About Riku
Last year was filled with sorrow's,
But this year brought me many tomorrow's
Kairi tossed and turned on her bed. Why was she so uncomfortable? Finally, she realized why.
Steroids. They had ruined her social life. She angrily got off her arm and lied back down. That was better. Now, back to steroids.
She shouldn't have injected so much into her arm. She only wanted to slit her wrists because of her electric bills, but she was scared of blood…so, she decided to inject her arm with steroids. How? She doesn't know. But her arm wasn't important right now; Sora was.
"I have to think of something," she said aloud.
She thought about different ways to get the real Sora back, the one that liked her instead of some yellow rotten mustard. Then, she thought of the best plan ever.
"I could act like I like Riku instead of him!" Kairi sat up on her bed once again.
"Starting tomorrow, you're going to regret what you did, I swear!" Kairi swore.
Back in the brunette's room, Sora wasn't asleep as well. Why? Because it was only seven o' clock. But besides that, he was "sleeping on" Kairi's question. After all, he was a loyal person and kept his promises.
"I can't just save Kairi because then Linda would perish, but I can't just save Linda either because Kairi would die. But then, Kairi has legs and Linda doesn't so... I would have to save Linda, Kairi would understand." Sora smiled and fell asleep even thought it was only seven o' clock. In his arms was Linda.
The next morning greeted the brunette with bright rays of sunlight.
Sora opened his eyes, the sun making his blue eyes brighter than usual.
He yawned and stretched," Good morning Linda, how did you sleep?"
Sora turned to Linda but what he saw caused tears to fill his eyes.
"Linda! What happened?"
Linda had combusted while Sora slept with it. Now, it was just a pile of sticky substance on his bed. Sora also understood what the sex educator meant by "don't sleep in bed with others".
"Why? Oh, why did you have to go this way? Our relationship was too great to end!" Sora held Linda and slowly rocked back and forth.
Kairi woke up feeling very smart and clever in her own bedroom. She finally knew; she has to stop injecting steroids in her arm.
She dressed up quicker than usual and went over to Riku's house to trigger her revenge on Sora. Before she knocked on the door, she dabbed water in her eyes.
A tall fifteen-year-old with silver hair and aquamarine eyes opened the door.
"Hey, Kairi!" Riku said, greeting her.
Kairi tried to look as sad as she could and started to sniff.
"Riku, I have to tell you something." she said in a whimper.
"What's the matter?" Riku asked urgently.
"You see, I never really liked Sora, it was you who I wanted all along." Kairi cried.
"Kairi..." Riku didn't know what to say.
"Please take me Riku!" Kairi hugged Riku's knees.
"I'm sorry Kairi, but I already have somebody; her name is Sarah." Riku looked down at his feet.
Kairi looked up with disbelief; there were no other girls on this island except her and Selphie.
"Don't tell me she's ketchup," she said sarcastically.
Riku opened his eyes in surprise, "How did you know?" Riku looked at his feet again, "But I accidentally killed…it was an unnecessary murder. I squashed her." Riku began to cry.
Kairi just stared. Now both of her friends were insane!
Kairi walked over slowly to Sora's house. She found him kneeling down next to a miniature grave.
"You were the most best listener I ever met, the most beautifulest and the bestest girlfriend I ever had." Sora was going to say more, but he saw Kairi and stood up.
"Hi," he muttered. "You know what-"
Kairi knew what was coming next and hugged Sora. "I knew you would want me back."
"Ummm... Kairi, you don't understand, I can't just replace Linda with another person. But you could always be my second best friend." Sora smiled.
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" Kairi's eyes lit with fire. .
Whimpering, Sora whispered, "Uh Kairi, your eyes are on fire..."
"THIS IS NO TIME TO TALK ABOUT MY EYES! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOUR SELF!" Kairi spat all over Sora's face.
"Uh Kairi, you don't have to worry about your eyes any more; your spit put them out," Sora was close to tears.
Kairi clenched her teeth and balled her hands into fists just like the night before. She walked over to Sora, picked him up and threw him in the ocean. Then, she walked home and screamed; screamed so loud that her windows cracked. Kairi angrily grabbed one of the glass shards and slit her wrist. She had gone emo.
"You were a really good friend, Sarah, you always understood me," Riku talked to a miniature grave, similar to Linda's.
He wiped away his tears, stood up and headed for the bar. Back at McDonald's, Sora was in the same situation…
Sora wiped his mouth. He was drinking too much root beer. He headed for a refill but a basket full of packs of mustard caught his eyes.
"Linda, you never told me you had a family!" Sora ran over the packs of mustard and stuffed them in his pockets.
"You guys must be cold; I'll take you guys to my friend's house so we could warm you guys up."
Sora walked unsteadily, still being drunk and staggered to Riku's house.