Mustard!

written by: oathk33p3r

Disclaimer: I only own Linda. That's it. And the plot. Read at your own risk.

Next, Kairi

I wanted to introduce you to my father,
But that was until you became a goner

Riku opened the door. A drunk Sora collapsed on to the floor and Riku heard something pop in his large pockets.

"Hey, Sora, you alright?" Riku poked him.

Sora jerked his head up and wiped his drool off his face. It only smeared to his ears. He slowly stood up and leaned on Riku.

"Did I ever tell you that you were my, hiccup, bestest friend?" Sora fell again.

"Uh, Sora, you should sit down..." Riku didn't know what to say.

Sora grabbed Riku by the collar. "Old man! Help me take care of these-"

Sora took out the packs of mustard, some were "killed".

"Some are still breathing, hiccup, bring some water!"

Riku obediently brought water in a plastic jug.

Sora grabbed it and dumped it on Riku's carpet, totally missing the mustard packages.

"More!"

This time, Riku grabbed Sora and shook him.

"Wake up you idiot!" Riku had enough.

"I am awake!" Sora staggered towards the pathetic heap of mustard.

"Linda is probably watching me right now! I want to make her happy," Sora started to cry.

Then, Riku remembered Sarah. He looked at what his friend was going through and started to weep. He ran out the door and a few minutes, came back with ketchup packs and put them in the microwave to warm them up. It was too much for the packages and they all exploded.

"Sarah! Don't hate me! I promise I'll do better!" Riku sobbed and passed out next to his friend.

Back at Kairi's house, the emo girl was walking back and forth in her bedroom.

What's wrong with them.. Kairi thought.

What's with all this McDonald stuff. Maybe...

Then is hit her. Her friends both went to McDonald's and came out insane. Nothing happened to the animals so it must only affect humans.

Kairi dashed to McDonald's.

It was closed, but she heard voices. She peeked in the window and saw a bowl of water with a single plankton inside. It had only one eye and was a rather disturbing shade of green.

"I am going to rule the world!" Plankton yelled!

Plankton continued to yell like this and soon, Kairi gathered enough information to know what was happening.

Plankton, obviously from Spongebob Squarepants, had gotten some kind of odor to make people insane. This very odor was obtained from the breath of the hair net man. Kairi held her nose and dashed in to stop him.

But, the doors jammed and now, Kairi too, was insane. She looked at the heep of relish and namedone of themBob.

"Oh Bob! I must introduce you to my parents!" She walked daze to the exit, but since it was jammed. Ahe bumped into it and fainted with a smile on her face.

"Oh dear, this story is getting stupider!" Plankton yelled at the air.

"This is so LAME! I mean come on! Kingdom Hearts characters falling in love with food? How much more lame could it get!" Plankton screamed, his veins pumping.

Out of no where, a little boy looked up and said, "Uh, sir, wasn't this "lame" thing your idea?''

"... he's got a point there," Plankton looked at his toeless feet, "If I was the author, I would make some toes for my feet."

The little boy walked away rolling his eyes. "He's lamer than a pickle."