Mustard!

written by: oathk33p3r

Disclaimer: I only own Linda. That's it. And the plot. Read at your own risk.

The Problem with Plankton

Wish I can prove I love you,
But I can't think of a clever word that rhymes with you

Plankton stared at the little boy and jumped out of his water prison.

"I know it's impossible to breathe air, but I am invincible!" Plankton cackled.

Nobody knows how, but a tomato stumbled off an oak, shiny shelf and crushed the plankton under it.

QQQ

Riku slowly opened his eyes.

"Sarah, my Sarah, why did you go?"

He looked over at his drunken friend.

"LINDA! DON'T LEAVE ME! DON'T GO!" Sora whimpered as he hungrily sucked his thumb.

Not wanting to disturb his friend's slumber, he sighed and got up. He wanted to go to the happiest place on earth where he first met his love.

"Disneyland!" Riku whooped as he ran out of his house.

But who knew that Disneyland was at a small fast food restaurant called McDonald's?

QQQ

Kairi stirred awake and looked around. She was lying on a fine tile floor.

"Bob, Bobby dear, are you all right?" Kairi asked as she turned around to kiss Bob.

"Oh, I can't believe I actually wanted Sora." Kairi rolled her eyes.

Outside, Riku broke open the jammed door and stared at Kairi lying on the floor.

"Urrr, Kairi? Are you alright?"

Kairi glared at Riku and then her expression softened.

"Hi, wanna meet Bob?" Kairi held out the pack of relish.

Riku ignored her and stepped over Kairi. He walked towards the baskets filled with different condiments and ran his fingers through the crimson liquids floating around in plastic packages.

"This is where we met, remember Sarah?"

"Let's go, Bob, we could go out for coffee," Kairi mumbled as she cradled the relish in her arms. She pushed open the door and walked down the paved road.

QQQ

Back to where Plankton got squashed by a bifruitvegetable.

"GOSH! COULD YOU STOP BEING SO LAME! WHY A TOMATO?" Plankton shouted as he heaved the tomato off of his body. Surprisingly, it only landed a whole inch away from him.

He just stared blankly at it then looked up to see the firm back of Riku.

"Great Blue, look at that beautiful chick." Plankton licked his hand and rubbed his forehead.

"My wife is never going to forgive me about this."

Plankton was only a few feet away, but alas, Riku turned around and stepped on him.

"Oh Sarah," Riku said again and again.

He left.

"She must be lesbian. JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT!" Plankton smiled seductively as he chased after his "one".

The mysterious boy popped out again and muttered, "He's lame AND has a problem.

He looked at the reader.

"You know, this story is getting lamer by the second, unless you're a stupid failing student and can't read a word per second. If you like to actually do something that is enjoyable, go read the dictionary, it has very detailed definitions. It is also very educational.But if you still want to read this plotless story, be my guest, young Jedi."

QQQ

The hero of the story woke up to find himself in his best friend's home.

"Where am I?" he asked.

He looked around and the carpet felt rather moist and warm. He looked down and gasped.

"Oh, my gosh! I'm too old to wet my bed! And this isn't even my bed! It's Riku's carpet!"

Unfortunately, he couldn't recall last night when he had poured water all over Riku's house.

Sora looked around and saw that nobody was home. He quickly grabbed the cushions and his silver haired friend's couch and scrubbed the carpet.

"Riku's gonna kill me if he finds out."

QQQ

Plankton ran as fast as he could. As he did so, he was able to check out Riku's sinewy biceps.

"My, she's been workin' out!" Plankton was panting and limping from all the accidents he had.

"This is not a good day," Plankton muttered