Mustard!

written by: oathk33p3r

Disclaimer: I only own Linda. That's it. And the plot. Read at your own risk.

Can you hear me now? Good

Hold me,
Whatever lies beyond this morning is tee

Riku jiggled the keys to his door and stepped in. A confused expression dominated his face when he saw Sora crying and mopping up a wet stain on the carpet. Liquid was also pouring from his eyes and nostrils.

"Um, Sora? Are you ok?" Riku looked uncertainly at his friend.

"Riku! I mean, um, I uh, you see, it's not what you think! I could explain!" Sora threw the drenched cushion in the air, which bounced off of Riku's head.

"Sora, just go home, ok?" said Riku.

"No, Riku! I'm so sorry! I'll never do it again! You see, I just woke up and-''

"It's ok! Just go home!" Riku glared at Sora.

"Ok..." Sora crawled out of the door.

"Sheesh..." Riku went into his room. There, he saw a small krill like animal gawking at his stuff.

"You're a man?''

"Uh, what do you think?" Riku backed away.

"No, I don't think you're a man." He smiled at him.

"Oh, sure, then I'm a woman," Riku said sarcastically.

"Exactly!" Plankton jumped up and down.

"Um, dude, I think you have issues..." Riku stared at him.

"Of course I do! I-"

a/n: I think I'll just get rid of him...

"Ok, that was weird. He just disappeared, not that I care." Riku shrugged and left his bedroom and started towards his kitchen.

Riku

"I think I put too much mustard on my hotdog." He mumbled.

Riku sat on the kitchen table and started to eat his lunch. He was getting along pretty well without his beloved ketchup.

"Sarah, tomorrow, I'll meet you in heaven."

Sora

"Oh Linda, only if you were here..."

Sora looked at the empty cushion where Linda use to sit, dumbfounded.

"Linda, to you I promise I will never have anybody else, it will always be you!" Sora sobbed as he hugged the cushion.

Kairi

"Where do you want to go now Bob?" Kairi stroked the battered relish and kissed it.

With Kairi and Bob, everything was getting along fine, until a seagull came by and snatched the package away to build a nest for its children, which only one of the three will survive to see daylight again. However, it snapped in its mouth and landed back on the sand with a sickening plop.

Kairi sat there, staring at the broken body of Bob.

"Bob? Are, are you there? Could you hear me? Please answer me. Don't leave me! If you do, I'm going to leave the face of this earth!" She kneeled on the ground and wept.

"It's okay, Kairi, my love..." A voice hissed.

"Bob!" Kairi sat up.

"Yesss, my own, my love, my own, my preciousssss." The voice was closer.

"Bob? How come you sound like that?" Kairi tried to smile, but was suspicious.

"Oh no, my precious, we is to sound like this yesss!" A horrible creature came out of the shadows.

Kairi screamed.

"What are you!" Kairi tried to run away.

"We is gollum, gollum, Smeagol!" Gollum crawled over to her.

"What are you doing here?" Kairi asked, getting more scared.

"We is here to catch fishes yesss, but big head one took em all yessss..."Gollum looked towards Sora's house.

"Um, I'm leaving now." Kairi let out the scream she was holding and ran away.

Gollum shrugged and took out a cell phone.

"Can you hear me now? Good." He put it away and headed towards the other side of the island and took out the cell phone again.

"Can you hear me now? Good." He continued on.