Disclaimer: I don't own, but the characters are so cute I wish I did.
Okey doky, we have here something I tried not to write, but it happened. I was re-reading my last fic Demons and Treasure, and I thought to myself-if I had been forced into the same situation as Rune, everything would definitely not be ok, and my imagination would probably get the better of me, and so, I felt compelled to write another story. Set a few nights after the events in Demons and Treasure, Rune is having nightmares.
NIGHTMARES
Rune jerked up, his breathing harsh. His arms, as he held himself above the mattress shook with the strain. With an effort he pushed himself up until he could sit on the bed without straining his back. The gases from the whip had not healed which didn't surprise him, and only made him wish he had his elfin power of healing again. Then he wouldn't hurt so much… he wouldn't remember so much.
He was firmly convinced that if his body was healed he would forget everything that had happened a few days ago. Very firmly convinced… he rubbed a hand across his eyes. He wouldn't sleep for the rest of the night; he didn't want to go back there.
Just the thought…
If Rath and Thatz hadn't burst into the cave…
If they hadn't of heard his calls…
He shuddered. He didn't want to think about this. He couldn't think about this. If he thought about it, it just made the whole experience more real. The feeling of that Demon towering over him, pressing onto him. He drew in a shaky breath and let his hand drop to his lap, staring at his pillow, which was still a little indented by his head.
If Rath and Thatz hadn't arrived in time… he would have been…
He closed his eyes, trying to find some modicum of inner peace, but there was nothing. It was all ripped to shreds. Every time he closed his eyes a vision of the Demon reared up, and a stab of fear shot through him, making his breath hitch in a dry sob. Just a few more minutes… if they had arrived just a few minutes later, it would have been over…
All over…
He would have been broken. Lord Lykouleon wouldn't want a disgraced Knight in his ranks. Rath and Thatz would never look at him the same way… not that it mattered; they had treated him differently from the whole incident. Four days had gone by, and though everything seemed so normal on the outside, he could feel they were being careful with him, what they said, what they did. And it hurt. Because he could feel it, and yet they all still pretended everything was ok.
But it wasn't ok…
And Rune didn't think it would ever be ok.
X
Thatz woke; it was rare for him to do that, just randomly waking up in the middle of the night for no reason. Strange. He tried to go back to sleep, tossed and turned a few times in bed before he realised that something wasn't right. He listened carefully. Nothing seemed to be amiss in the room he shared with Rath and Rune.
He glanced over reflexively to where Runes bed was, hidden in the most shadowed corner. Rune had been having nightmares for the past four nights, neither he nor Rath had said anything about the fact that Rune kept muttering in his sleep, whimpering even. They gave the elf the privacy he needed to get through this. Rune had always been so private, and in all honesty, Thatz didn't know what to do in situations like that except pretend to be asleep.
He blamed the fact that he didn't see that Rune was awake, sitting up, on the gathering of shadows around the water knight's bed. But when his eyes adjusted he could see that Rune was shaking, almost as if he was crying.
Thatz bit his lip, but the more he watched the more he wanted to go over, to comfort Rune. He couldn't make himself turn away. With a soft sigh his pushed his quilt away from him and sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.
"Rune…" he heard Rath whisper in the darkness.
X
Rath had been awake most of the night, listening to Rune's breathing, feeling his heart clench every time it quickened with fear. Though none of them had said it, talked about it, Rath knew it was praying on all their minds. What had almost happened to Rune. If he and Thatz had been even a minute late Rune would have been… he doubted Rune would have lasted the night if something had happened.
He could admit it. He felt guilty, a little strange for him. He never felt guilt. But he couldn't help but think it was partly his fault. After all, Rune had gone off alone because of himself and Thatz. He knew it was eating Thatz up as well. He caught the concerned looks Thatz was always sending Rune at night, when the nightmares started. Usually he would have tried to attribute some of the blame to Rune, after all, he didn't have to go off by himself, if he'd just waited a few hours everything would have been fine.
But it lost all its ground when he saw that distant look in Runes eyes, and the way he kept half hugging himself when he thought no one was looking.
He saw Thatz move from the corner of his eye, so he started to get out of bed himself. "Rune…" he said softly, in a whisper.
X
Rune looked up, startled and shrunk back against the wall when he saw his fellow knights coming towards him. He hadn't meant to disturb them. They were probably coming over to tell him to stop being so stupid, and get over it already. And he knew that was what he should do. But he just couldn't shake the memory.
He shuddered again, pushing it aside.
"Sorry for disturbing you guys." He said quietly.
Rath climbed onto the bed on one side of him, while Thatz did the same on his other side. "You didn't." Rath said.
Rune summoned the tiniest of smiles. "Don't lie."
Thatz reached out, hesitantly, to brush back some of the golden hair. "We don't mind then. Is that any better?" he asked with a concerned smile of his own.
Rune rubbed his hand across his eyes again, he nodded. "I suppose." He murmured.
"Rune, do you think you should maybe talk about it." Rath said, being surprisingly tactful about it.
Rune blinked at the abruptness and scowled, more at himself than at Rath. "There's nothing to talk about." He said.
Rath took his hand as he reached up to rub at his eyes again, and held it firmly in his own, stroking his arm soothingly. "Yes there is Rune."
"You've been having nightmares." Thatz added softly.
"No I haven't." Rune lied. This was all he needed right now-to be told he was having nightmares… he knew he was having nightmares, but if Rath and Thatz had noticed they had probably lost all respect for him.
Rath kept stroking his arm. "Yes you have."
Rune pulled away from the both of them, away from their touches. "So?" he asked bitterly.
"Rune!" Rath said, reaching out. "It's ok to have nightmares. Everyone has them. You told me that, remember? It's ok to be afraid of something."
"I'm not afraid." Rune said, bitterness again.
X
Rath and Thatz shared a helpless look. Finally Thatz said. "I'd be having nightmares if some Demon had tried it with me." He said, letting his gaze slide to Rune for a moment. "What about you Rath?"
Rath nodded.
"Anyone would, I mean, it would be pretty horrific. You know, to have a Demon try… well… that with you. Especially one as ugly as that one was." Thatz shrugged. "I guess I'd feel a little dirty as well." He knew by the way Rune kept shifting he was hitting all the right points. Rath kept nodding after every sentence. "But, if something like that happened to me-would you two… oh I don't know… hate me for it? Feel disgusted with me maybe?"
Rath shook his head.
Thatz looked directly at Rune, who had frozen. "What about you? If I was say…, raped, would you be disgusted with me Rune?"
"No…" Rune whispered.
"Then why do you seem to think we'd be disgusted with you?" Thatz asked, very serious.
"It's not the same." Rune said, looking down.
"Why not?" Rath said. "If what happened to you happened to me… I'd…"
"You'd go on a major Demon hunting trip." Rune said quietly. "And you." He said to Thatz, "Something like this wouldn't happen to you two." He said softly. Giving up.
"I still don't understand why you won't let us comfort you?" Thatz said. "You would comfort us."
Rune didn't look up.
"We gave you your space Rune." Rath told him. "Now it's time for you to play it our way."
"What do you want me to say?" Rune asked. "That I'm scared to close my eyes because all I can see is that Demon, that in my dreams I'm chained to that bed with it leering over me… and you arrive too late! And it's done and over… and I'm disgraced. And that if you have of been just a minute too late I would have never been able to go back to the Dragon Lord. If you'd been just a second too late…" he looked at them pleadingly. "And to know it was all my fault… that it was all my fault that you'd have to bear some kind of guilt because I was stupid enough to get myself captured by a Demon…"
Rath pulled him into a hug as Rune finally let it out, maybe he didn't let it all go, and maybe they didn't hear it all. But Rath and Thatz remained on Runes bed, Rath holding Rune, who eventually fell into a fitful sleep, while Thatz, who was not known for staying awake at night unless he had to settled himself as comfortably as he could, with one arm slung haphazardly round Runes waist, his head pillowed on Rath's leg.
Leaving Rath awake to watch over them. Not that he minded, not really.
Might make this a chaptery type thing. It'd almost three in the morning or something. I can't see the clock, the numbers a re burring on me. So if this makes no sense, blame it on the time of night I'm writing it at. I want this to be a slash… sorry, wanted this to be a slash, but it didn't work out quiet like that. So I may have to add more on, like Rune getting all embarrassed by a sudden stirring of emotion… or something. Rath act's pretty differently too in this one. Ah well. I'm tired. Deal with it.
Review, please.