What Lies Beneath
Chapter 3
A/N: Just to clarify, the words that Simone were saying came from I Grieve from the City of Angels soundtrack. They are by no means mine.
Sienna watched as they unloaded Simone's body off of the ambulance and into the loading dock of the morgue, still trying valiantly to stop crying. It was unreal that she laid on that gurney with the sheet covering her. How could she had not seen the signs? For years, Simone had been quiet and to herself , but she couldn't remember if she had ever noticed the severity of what she was going through. Sienna sighed to herself as she held the jacket close to her. She felt vulnerable here. When they wheeled her into the morgue, Sienna walked beside her. If she couldn't have been there for her while she was alive , she would be there now.
Alexx walked in from the double doors and hung her head as she saw Sienna standing next to the steel slab that her sister was on. Alexx reflected on the night that Tim and Calleigh were murdered and she felt the sadness creep back into her veins. It had taken a lot for her to forget the image of two little girls as they stood next to their parents. Now she had to contend with yet another Speedle death. It broke her from the inside out to continue to lose such an important part of her life.
" Sienna, baby. You want to go to Horatio's office? I got to get started," Alexx said as she walked up to her.
" I want to be here, Alexx," Sienna said as she continued to stare at Simone.
" Oh honey, I don't think that is a good idea. You should be with someone right now..."
" Who am I going to be with, Alexx? My father's dead, my mother's dead, now my sister's dead too. There's no one left!" Sienna said as her voice rose. She turned quickly to Alexx revealing the hurt and pain that she felt. " You know, I never took her seriously. She always said that she was tired and she never talked to me, but I just thought that she was just being herself. Now , I guess I was wrong."
" Sienna, I just don't think that it will do you any good to be here. Don't you want to have good memories of Simone?"
" I want to be here for her. Please , Alexx. I have nowhere else to go," Sienna pleaded.
Alexx exhaled deeply and pointed to the observation deck, " You can see from up there. But if it gets to be too much for you, I want you out of here. Got it?"
" Yes, ma'am," Sienna replied. Alexx watched her as she walked up the stairs to the deck and sat behind the monitor. She then started her work.
SS
Horatio sat behind his desk, lost in his grief. Even though he wasn't their father, he had spent ten years watching them grow into beautiful young women. He had tried his best to instill in them the integrity that his mother instilled in him, and he had been patient , loving, and caring. But it all seemed to not be enough for Simone. Simone required what he couldn't give her, loving memories of her childhood.
As he gazed down into the lab, he thought about what this was going to do to Tim and Calleigh. He didn't want to tell them ,but they had to know. They had to know that one of their children was no longer here. He picked up the phone and dialed the number to the safe house that was located ten minutes away from the lab. Going through the procedures to insure that the line wasn't being traced or bugged, Horatio tried to formulate what he was going to tell them.
" Hello?"
" Yes, I need to speak with Calleigh Duquense please," Horatio said as he tried to keep it together.
" Just a moment please," the operator said as she switched the line.
" Horatio?" Tim said as the line connected. For security reasons , Horatio always got the opposite of who he asked for.
" Speed, I have to talk to you and Calleigh. Can you get away?" Horatio asked quietly.
" Is Simone okay, H?" Tim asked expectantly.
" That's why I want to see you both."
" Okay. I'll tell Sackhiem that we are going out for a walk. Meet you in twenty minutes?"
" Yes. In the regular spot," Horatio said as he hung up the phone. He then grabbed the keys to the Hummer and walked out of his office. In twenty minutes, he was at their meeting place, a secluded spot on the beach where no one came. He got out of the Hummer and walked to the edge of the ocean. With all that he dealt with on a daily basis, there was rarely a moment that he cherished more than sitting on the beach in solitude. He was able to think about the things that were important to him , in a clearer mind set. He was a million miles away when Tim walked up behind him.
" H, is Simone okay?" Tim asked. Calleigh stood behind her husband trying to shield herself from sight. On the outside, Calleigh showed that she was a strong woman , but inside, she was as meek as a little girl. It was that vuneralblity that Horatio now saw.
"Please tell me that she's okay, Horatio," Calleigh said as she watched Horatio intently. She saw the grief that was in his ocean blue eyes.
Horatio pulled a neatly folded piece of paper out of his suit coat and handed it to Tim, " I'm sorry, Speed, but she didn't make it."
Tim took the piece of paper from Horatio ,speechless. He stared at the paper longer than he wanted to and he felt the tears welling up inside. Calleigh put a hand to her mouth to stifle a moan and she knelt down in the sand. Tim bent to her and wrapped his arms around her as she wept heavily. He caressed her back as she shook violently. Horatio stood silently as the parents grieved for their lost child. There were no words that could be said to them that would make this better. After a moment, Tim stood up to face Horatio , his soft features contorted with so much pain.
" Horatio,..." Tim said before crumbling himself. He fell to his knees , still holding the paper in his hands, as he screamed into the heavens. He could no longer contain his pain.
Horatio knelt down to him and put a hand on his back. Tears were coming from all three of them as they sat in the sand. After what seemed like forever, Tim stopped crying long enough to open the paper. It was a note that Simone had wrote. It was addressed to Horatio and Sienna.
" H, this letter is to you and Sienna. I think she would've wanted you t o read it," Tim said as he watched Calleigh get up and walk down the beach. There was no comforting her now.
Horatio looked at the letter and took it gently from Tim. He then began to read it aloud.
Dearest Horatio and Sienna,
If you are reading this letter, then it means that I have succeeded in relieving myself of this pain that I have carried for so long, too long perhaps. I first wanted to let you both know that there was nothing that you did that drove me to this decision. I love you both dearly, but the pain of losing mama and daddy, was too much. There was hardly a time that I wasn't thinking about that night. If it wasn't for me, maybe they would still be alive... But it's time for me to move on.
Horatio, in the absence of my father, you have been there for me. Even though I have been a pain in the ass, I did appreciate the attempts you made to reach me. I was just too far away. I am sorry that I couldn't be stronger, my family name is stronger than I am. What lies beneath this is a truth of who I really am, a scared little girl. I pray that you will be able to forgive me for this. I couldn't keep fooling myself. My parents are dead, and they are not coming back.
Horatio stopped at the last line to compose himself and to glance at Tim who had a fresh round of tears. He tried to hold his own tears at bay, but it was useless. The eloquent prose that she used struck to the heart of what she went through daily. He noticed as the letter switched from Horatio to Sienna and he decided to leave that for her. For a long moment, the men sat in silence , letting the words sink into their conscience. Tim wiped his eyes and stood up.
" Horatio, I want to be there . At her funeral."
"Speed, you can't. There's still the issue of this case you are working on. I can't let you jeopardize it."
" Really? Well I don't remember me asking to be there. I am telling you, I am going to be at her funeral. Damn this case," Tim said as his anger began to boil up.
" Speed calm down. I 'm sure that Sackhiem will find a way for you to be there. The important thing is to finish this so that you can come home . Sienna is going to need you." Horatio said as he folded the paper and replaced it back into his suit pocket.
" I know, H. I wish I could've been there for Simone," Tim said as he dropped his head. He looked down the beach to where Calleigh had stopped and was looking at the ocean. " She's going to need this for closure, Horatio."
Horatio watched as Tim walked to Calleigh who was still staring out into the ocean as it lapped up against her legs. From this distance he could still see her tears. As he watched them disappear down the shore, Horatio put his sunglasses on and headed back to the Hummer. He had a funeral to prepare for.
Two days later...
" Sienna, are you okay up there?" Alexx called. She was downstairs waiting for her , " the car is here."
Horatio walked into the foyer and gave Alexx a small smile, " How long has she been up there?" he asked as he smoothed out his severe black suit.
" Almost an hour. The car is here waiting to take her to the church," Alexx said as she looked back at him. She saw the pain that had taken residence up around his expressive blue eyes. Horatio then made the trek up the stairs the same as he did two days ago. Getting to the top of the stairs, he glanced at the door to his right then turned to his left. As he put his fist up to knock on the door he could hear the song that Sienna had been playing incessantly over the past evening..
I knew you needed a friend
I Knew you needed some blue skies
You need some laughter again
Till magic returns to your blue eyes
You're lost in this circle of pain
Where's it all goin'
Each day it is the same
Where are you goin'?
Say Hello
Say Hello
You're never alone
Say Hello
Say Hello
You're never alone.
Horatio knocked softly on the door and he heard as she stopped the player and opened the door , revealing herself in a smart black dress and no make up. Her eyes were rimmed with tears as she tried to smile.
" Horatio, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you calling."
" I didn't call you, Alexx did. Are you okay?" Horatio asked as he took her hand. He noticed as she wore a necklace with her mother and father's wedding bands as well as a ring that Simone had worn.
" I felt like I needed them close," she said as she gestured to the necklace. " I just added Simone's this morning. It took me a long time to just put my hand on the knob. It doesn't seem real . I keep expecting her to walk up those stairs any minute."
" Sienna, Simone and your parents will live on in your heart. You have good memories of them that you can carry with you for the rest of your life. That's something that can never be taken away."
Sienna smiled at Horatio and put an hand on his arm, " Thanks, Horatio. I guess I am ready now. Let me just turn off my stereo."
" Okay, hey by the way, Sienna. Where'd you get the song?"
" It was in the mail box yesterday when I got home from the mortuary. It had a note attached to it. At first I thought someone was playing around with me, but when I got inside and played it, I realized that it was suppose to make me feel better. I've listened to it on repeat since last night. It does make me feel better."
" What did the letter say?" Horatio asked as he watched her turn off the stereo.
" To stay encouraged. That's it."
" Really? Those are words to truly live by. Speaking of, they finally cleared all of Simone's belongings and there was this note for you. I read my part already. The rest is there for you," Horatio said as he reached into his pocket and produced the letter. Sienna took the letter and opened it. Then she folded it back down.
"I'll read it later, Horatio. Now, I'm ready to go," she said as she put the letter in her bag.
Horatio escorted her down the stairs where Alexx, Eric and Maxine were waiting. They all got into the family cars ,with Horatio and Sienna riding in the limo alone. As they rode to the church, Sienna watched the scenery pass by and wondered if she would ever be whole again. She had lost her entire family and now she stood on the brink of starting her life over again.
TBC...
A/N: If you haven't noticed , I love using music to write to. It helps the mood. :) Please read and Review.