By Kitty =^.^=
A/N: Allo allo ev'eyone! Kitty here. Sorry I didn't update on Wednesday last week right after Chapter 7. My laptop was messed up and I couldn't get on the Internet, I was petrified. But, after much teetering and tinkering, I have fixed it. Please don't be mad! glares at panda and you mustn't be so mean! sobcrywhimperwhimper So without further ado (unlike usual...) here is Chapter 8 of ICELY (I Can't Ever Leave You...heh heh heh, acronym...)
POSTSCRIPTPlease be warned, my younger readers and/or those with weak constitutions: at the end of this chapter there is some rather suggestive material. Nothing too bad, this story is only rated PG-13, calm down. glares at Doty and claps hand over her mouth before she can say "Gasp! Kathryn! Naughty!" So yeah, if you're offended, either skip to the very end or get over it. Okay, 'nuff-o-dat, please, go read...
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"Whaddye think is wrong wiv 'im then?" whispered Giselle.
"I do'n know," murmured Chelsea. "Too much rum maybe?"
"Maybe 'ee lost a job or somefthing on a ship," offered Scarlet, "and...now 'ee's...depressed?"
Suddenly Jack shouted with abandon, "Right then! I say we sing a, uh, uh...a song, YES, a song!" His arms flailed about as he jumped on top of the table and his face scrunched into an expression of one in thought of a very perplexing mystery. "But what song you might ask, well, I'll tell you!" By now most of the bar was staring at Jack again and began to gather around him.
"Yes, um, now 'ow'd it go again??" Jack squatted down on his knees and leaned forward (while the three women in back of him took a very appreciative gander at his behind.) "Lessee, uuummm...duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh duh nuh nuh nuh...and really bad eggs...ah HAA!!" Jack leapt off the table and landed shakily on his feet, not quite falling over. "I've got it! We're devils and black sheep and really bad eggs," he held up another shot glass he found at the table next to him, "drink up me hearties yo ho!"
Jack grabbed Chelsea and Giselle by their arms and spun around, taking them with him. "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me, I llloove this song, ah ha!!" Chelsea and Giselle started to clap and giggle while Scarlet leapt into Jack's arms, pushing the other two women away. Not realizing Scarlet was the one he was carrying, Jack continued in his mad song...
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,
Drink up, me 'earties yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,
Drink up me 'earties yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,
Drink up me 'earties yo ho.
We're rascals, scoundrels, villains, and knaves,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
(A/N: And now, my favourite verse...)
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We're beggars and blighters, and ne'er-do-well cads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho!!
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life fer me!
Jack spun around on the heels of his boots and Scarlet's red skirt flared out knocking him in the face. He didn't really notice. He ran around to all the tables, clapping peoples' hands together, banging mugs down rhythmically, even stomping their feet for them (they didn't really like the last one, but they were mostly all drunk so it doesn't matter in the slightest.)
"Come, come now," Jack cried, "sing along, for gods sakes!" The slur in his voice made all of his S's sound like Z's, his A's like I's, and his E's like A's. "Yes, yes, veeeery good then!" He batted at everyone's hands and kept singing the lovely lit'ul hymn. "Really, bad eggs! Whoa!" Jack suddenly realized he was very tired. Why is that do ye suppose?? He looked down in his arms and saw Scarlet waving up at him. "Huh. Thas' why. When did ye get there?" Scarlet steeled her eyes and forced them to not roll around, lest she ruin her chances of wooing Jack.
"Oh, a while," she silkily replied. Jack's forehead furrowed as he wondered if it were true. He looked around. Scarlet began to hope. Maybe he was finally going to kiss her! She'd waited for-bloody-ever and-- "Does anyone 'ave a crowbar?" Jack shouted. Scarlet's mouth dropped open. "'Ow do I git this fthing off?!" Slap!! Scarlet plopped to the ground but that wasn't why she was fuming. Jack looked confused. Then scared. Then insulted. It took him a while but he finally said something to Scarlet about her attack on him.
"Oooow!" he said loudly, yelling at her head. Oh, yeah, he told her all right. "I don't think I deserved that Red. Ouch! Stop that!" Jack grabbed his knee, yelped in pain, and hopped around. Chelsea and Giselle each took an arm and led poor Jack back to the table. "There, there, now," cooed Giselle, "s'all right."
"Yeah," added Chelsea, "we'll go kick her backside for you." Giselle inched away from Chelsea, gazing fearfully at her brown fists. "Um, that's ok," she replied, "I'll stay 'ere wiv Jack." Chelsea rolled her eyes and went off to beat up Scarlet. Where did that girl get to anyway? Giselle beamed. Now she had Jack all to herself and... "Oy!" Giselle looked under, behind, even on top of the table, but then just sat up, confused. "Where'd 'ee get to??"
Outside, Scarlet was walking as quickly as her legs would allow. And dragging helpless, drunken Jack behind her. She was headed for the docks. "Now Jack," she called back to him as he waved to one of his crew members who was heading into an old house (with a woman), "whaddya sai we go and 'ave ourselves a lit'ul fun back at ye ship, eh?" Yes, those were perfectly good seductive words. "Jack?" Too bad Jack wasn't listening and singing '15 Men On A Dead Man's Chest' (yo ho ho and a bottle of rum...). "Jack!!" Scarlet screeched. "Bloody 'ell, just 'ow drunk are ye?!"
Jack stopped them from moving any further by dragging his heel in the dirt until he'd created a rut that Scarlet couldn't pull him out of on her own. He turned around, effects flying, and he waved his hands in front of her. "Well. Very. Drunk. Quite. Drunk, I should imagine. And now if you'll excuse me," Jack saluted her, "I've must get back to my village." He began to walk in his swaying way ahead of Scarlet. "I'm expected home by dinner because I have to milk the chickens and collect the cow eggs, good day to you sar!" Scarlet (thoroughly confused) just followed Jack because he was heading in the direction of the Black Pearl anyway.
Walking up the gangplank, Jack looked up and saw that there was no moon. "No bloody pirate zombies then," he shouted. "No more blasted, whoa," Jack tripped, "blasted mutineers tryin'tuh steal me ship!!" He glanced suspiciously around making sure that there weren't any mutinous immortal skeletons lurking about. Scarlet stumbled along the walkway that was no more than a long thin piece of wood. "I'm not gonna fall," she muttered, "I'm not gonna fall." Letting out one little 'eek', she jumped onto the deck, looked over the side, cringed, and cautiously edged away.
"Boo!"
"AAAGH!!"
Laughter...glaring... "Uh-oh," mumbled Jack, but not before Scarlet had slung her fist into his stomach, so it really sounded like "Uh-OOHahowouchouchieowowowowoooow!!"
Scarlet's brown eyes flared. That was it. She was pissed. She and Jack were gonna jump in bed in the next 30 seconds or someone was gonna get pushed overboard, and it wouldn't be her (A/N: singsongy that's what sheee thiiinks...heh heh heh...).
"Jack?" The drunken pirate flung himself up from leaning over backwards against the side and looked across to the other side. Scarlet had let both of her sleeves slip down off her shoulders, she leaned against the rail so as to thrust her breasts forward in a (what she seemed to think) very alluring manner, and stuck out her lip in a pout. "Come 'ere would ye?" Confused, Jack swayed over to her.
"Yyyyupp?" he asked, smacking his lips on the 'p'. Scarlet laid her palms on Jack's shoulders and whispered, "Do ye know what Oi would really like to do right now?" Jack's blank stare prompted her to further explanation. "It's something ye can do wiv your moufth." Jack thought a moment and then his eyes lit up. He smoothed out his moustache with his index fingers and suggestively wiggled his eyebrows.
"I know ezactly what ye mean, luv." Scarlet leaned forward and closed her eyes. And waited. And waited. She cracked one eye open.
"Well?" she impatiently asked.
"In a moment, in a moment," Jack replied in an equally intolerant tone. "I'm just figuring out what to do first." Scarlet's lips formed a perfect 'O' and her eyes went black. He must have been thinking of something really good...
"I'm a sailin' man and I don't give a damn, 'bout the wind or the wave or the weather, for life is rich on a pirate ship, so long as there's plenty of treasure!"
Scarlet's mouth dropped open, gaping, but this time it was from disbelief, not lust. And now, so frustrated, she decided to take matters into her own hands...literally. Jack stopped singing slowly as he noticed that someone's hands were-heeello-what's-all-this-and-what-a-goes-on?!?! Something in Jack's mind made him back away, and he tried to, but Scarlet held firm on the matter (A/N: My god, I am full of such dirty jokes today...). Even though he flailed around a bit still, he had slowed down enough for Scarlet to plant her over-painted lips on Jack's dry ones. Something still screamed at Jack to pull away and toss the wench over board because of...because of...
Jack forlornly grumbled a sigh, the tension left his shoulders, and he hesitantly gave in. Scarlet, overjoyed that she'd finally got him, began to pull him across the deck and pushed open the door to the Captain's quarters. She shrugged off the top half of her dress and tossed back the midnight sheets covering Jack's bed.
The voice in Jack's head that shrieked for him to stop was growing fainter by the minute, but Jack wasn't about to let it remind him of why he shouldn't, couldn't, do what he was about to. Breaking apart from Scarlet's (semi-)provoking lips, Jack tossed back the lid on his sea chest that sat next to his bed.
Pulling out a large dark brown glass bottle, Jack yanked the cork out using his teeth, and he took a swig. His vision began to haze again. Another. Scarlet's hands were traveling up his chest and wrapping themselves around his neck. Jack's eyes squeezed shut to block the salty drops that were sure to spill through any moment, and he took one last long draught, draining almost half the bottle. Still gripping the glass neck, he slipped under the covers with Scarlet and...
~*END (finally...) FLASHBACK*~
Lying in his room that was filled with hazy grey morning light, Jack pounded his fist against the wall. He couldn't think anymore about last night. He'd kill himself before he did. With a heavy sigh, Jack got up. He had to go someplace...else. Someplace that wouldn't scream with memories of every woman he'd slept with. Almost every woman anyway... "Aah! Damn it to hell, don't go there Jack..." Jack sat down on the bed began to put on his shirt and coat. He needed to go somewhere where he didn't have to think about...her.
Pulling on his hat, Jack stood up and looked around till he found his pile of maps. Striding over he righted the overturned table, pulled up a chair, and began to search for someplace he and his Pearl could go. After going through three or four maps, Jack came across one that on the top read "Port Royale." Jack grinned slightly. Well, he'd found someplace. Jack got up and walked to the door, swaying slightly. "Now all I have to do is find a weddin' present for Will'n'Liz." He almost smiled as he walked onto the deck, thinking, "After all, I love weddings. And no wedding would be complete wivvout a gift from Captain Jack Sparrow..."
Meanwhile, heading towards Tortuga were two ships...
Silhouetted against the rising sun, a figure stood atop the mast, gazing out at the sea with a lovely arrogant smirk, hair flying back against the wind. Chiffon scarves tied around the person's hat whipped around their face, and grazed the slender fingers that stroked a black diamond charm hanging upon a black pearl chain...
TBC!!!! BONSAI!!!!!
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A/N: EEK!! Whaddya think?? To make up for last week when my lappy messed up, I'll try and update another one this week. grins deviously The WRITER'S BLOCK (ERIC: Dun dun duuun!!!) is retreating and I am once again in FAB AUTHOR mode!! insane laughter
Remember to review,
Love,
~*Kitty*~
=^.^=