Author's Notes: Yeah yeah, just your standard "I don't own anything Zelda" stuff here. Although I suppose I own the whole Temple of Ditz, and the Sage of Ditz. Also, the name Anju for the Cucco lady, is used only as a reference. If anyone knows her actual name, if she has one, please tell me. So, with that said, read on and enjoy.

Link shuffled his feet, as he stood before the enterance of another temple, in his quest to defeat Ganondorf. Having made his way through the Forest, Fire, Water, and Shadow temples, he was nervous already about what dangers he may encounter in this next one. However, something about the entrance made him even more uneasy...

"C'mon, Link! What're you waiting for! We don't got all day!" Navi, Link's fairy companion, immediately shouted into his right ear, bringing the Hero of Time back to his senses.

"Gah!" He shouted in surprise, staggering to the left a few steps. Even though she was a fairy, it was still uncomfortable to be snapped back to reality by being shouted at directly into your ear. "I'm fine. But still, there's something about this temple that makes me feel like this could be the worst dungeon we've faced yet..."

"...You can't be serious," was Navi's reply, sounding rightfully doubtful. "You've faced a spiritual mimick of Ganon himself, a giant fire-breating dragon, and a pair of ghost hands that likes to play the bongos, not to mention an evil copy of yourself. Besides, who knows? Based on the name, this could even be a cakewalk!"

Link sighs, as he checked his quiver and bomb bag, reassuring himself that he had plenty of supplies. "Something tells me, THAT'S what I'm afraid of..."

And so, the two dropped into the hole, the entrance of the Ditz Temple, which no one would even notice that it was, were it not for a sign pointing to it that said, "Ditz Temple Here".

Making his way through the "labyrinth" (so far, it was nothing but three hallways, all leading forward), he made his way towards the only door he saw in the dungeon so far. Link looked around for possible booby traps or other false walls, before standing at the door as he prepared to open it.

It was then that Navi woke up from the 'nap' she took when Link first entered, startled awake by Link's sudden lack of movement. "Uwaa...? Are we there yet?"

Like glanced upward at the tiny fairy, as she flew out from under Link's pointed, green cap. "It's a door," was his only reply.

Looking at the door, back down the halls from which they had entered, and back at the door, she snapped. "Finally! After all this walking we finally reach a DOOR? THIS is the FIRST thing we've found that's not either the entrance we came from, or all these plain ordinary walls! A DOOR!"

"...Yeah."

Navi sighed. These guys are either really confident, or really stupid. "...Well, let's go in."

Pushing the door open, the two found, to their amazement, a giant elaborate central room, comprised of stone blocks for the floor and ceiling. Not to mention the hundreds of Moblins, Stalfos, and many more of Ganondorf's minions all over the place.

Link's eyes grew wide as he saw the multitude of monsters in this area alone. "Holy..."

"...Shit!" Navi then exclaimed promptly finishing his sentence. For a Stalfos had already noticed them, and was approaching quickly, But before Link could even unsheath his sword in defense, he was surprised by what it did next.

"It's about time you guys got here! We sent for you guys some time ago! I mean, we need to get this done, and we're MONTHS behind schedule!"

A second, closer glance proved that, in fact, they were still assembling the temple as it was. As opposed to the spears and clubs they traditionally wielded, the Moblins were armed instead with hammer and nails, working on the outer structure of the walls, so the Stalfos, armed with mortar as opposed to sword and shield, could place the stone blocks that would soon become the walls.

The Stalfos wrapped one of its bony arms around Link, and pulled him towards the center of the room. "Now listen, we need you guys, to get all the items in chests, and hidden securely wherever you deem fit. Also, we got a couple of boss doors in just a few weeks ago, but we're not sure which one's the right one. So we set 'em both up before the boss's chamber, and you'll have to test each of 'em with the key, to see which one's the right one. After that, we'd like you to overlook our final troop placements, and see if everything checks out. After all, this hero guy's gonna be here any day now!" Handing the confused heroes a blueprint of the final version of the dungeon, it pointed to a nearby corner. "Items are over there. We need you to get started pronto. So if you'll excuse me, I gotta find a way to keep that guy out of here until we're done." This Stalfos, apparently the foreman of the temple's construction, left through the very door that Link and Navi had entered from a while ago.

Exchanging confused looks, the Hero of Time and his fairy companion glanced through the items. Sure enough it was all the usual equipment Link would find in the dungeons he had been travelling in for some time: a map of the dungeon; a compass; supplies like bombs, arrows, and hearts; and about 14 keys, all neatly piled up. Alongside these items, was a mirror, which seemed rather plain and ordinary, making it stand out from the rest.

Link picked up the mirror, observing it for a few moments, and then, using their ignorance to his advantage, he called out to a Moblin, "Hey! You know anything about this mirror here?"

Putting down his hammer, the Moblin looked over at Link. "Yeah. That's one of those special dungeon items that we put in here for some unknown reason, so the hero can get through the whole dungeon and fight the boss." This caused Link to pause and think a bit, as he always wondered why his enemies would always leave him everything he needed to make it through each dungeon.

After he pondered that for a short moment, Link called out again. "So, what's it do, anyhow? Does it reflect magic? Suck whoever looks at it in an alternate world? Reflect light due to it's superior polishing?"

"Nope," replied the Moblin. "It's just a mirror. A standard, run-of-the-mill mirror." Link looked down at the mirror, a sour look on his face. And seeing this, the Moblin smiled...as best as a Moblin COULD smile. "Pretty cool, huh?"

Having used the dungeon map together along with the blueprints, Link had quickly and easily made it to the entrance to the Ditz Temple's boss chamber. Considering that not all the walls were finished being assembed, it wasn't that hard to reach that exact area. And, just as the Stalfos has said, there were two locked doors beside the boss chamber, side by side.

Pulling the key to its chamber from the pouch he kept such items in, he took a deep breath. "Well, here goes nothing." Intserting the key into the lock, he turned it. And just as instantly as he had, the chain locks going from each corner of the door to its center released and slid into the walls, and the door slid open. The dungeon master's area was right up ahead. But, before he could go in, Navi had stopped him.

"Link, wait," she said as she flew right in front of his face. "Something's bugging me about this. So, why don't we try the other door, too?"

Looking over at the door, he slowly nodded in agreement. "Alright. Here we go again." He inserted it into the lock, and turned. And, just like the first door, the chain locks released, and the door slid open, revealing the same chamber the one beside it had.

"...Okay. What. The. Fuck." Navi grumbled as she realized this, getting tired of the incompetent building of this temple.

Link grumbled too, smacking his forehead, afterwards, wiping the sweat from his brow. "Let's get this over with..."

The chamber was a simple, circular structure, with the same stone flooring as the rest of the dungeon, except with a carpeted circular area, that extended in a straight line out to the door. The walls were rather simple, with little more than torches upon the walls. As the Hero of Time walked forward to the center of the room, he approached what appeared to be a black cat, which turned around and noticed him.

...However, it did not give as warm a greeting as he got from the Moblins and Stalfos.

"LINK! WHAT THE HELL! You're not supposed to be here for a couple more months at least!"

Link looked at the creature quizzically, as Navi then cried out in relief. "FINALLY! Someone who's acting NORMAL!..." She then paused, noticing exactly what was before them. "...I think. Just who are you anyway?"

The creature was about to speak again, when it then stopped to think. "You know, I don't really know."

This resulted in Link and Navi both smacking their face infrustration, as the creature continued. "Lord Ganondorf never really gave me a name. He just said to come here and stop you from releasing a... "stage", I think he said? I'm not sure why doesn't want you to have a place to perform anyth-"

Fed up, Link finally butted in, stopping the cat-like creature's rambling mid-sentence. "Would you just shut up and let's fight already!"

Blinking, it took a martial arts fighting stance, ready to oblige Link's request. "Okay, you asked for it. But you'll never find an item to exploit my weakness of cats! Ha-ha!"

Link and Navi both paused. Finally, after starting at the strange creature, Navi spoke up. "But...you are a cat."

"...That can't be!" the creature cried,. "It's not possible."

Pulling out the mirror he took, Link placed it in front of the feline being. "Look in this mirror, and you'll know it to be true."

Looking into the mirror, the creature gasped, as it realized that he was, in fact, a cat. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" it screamed, running off, as it dropped a heart container. Link and Navi promptly sighed.

In the sage's temple, Link was now staring at a girl, who looked remarkably like Anju, the woman who raised Cuccos back in Kakariko Village. Looking up at him with her blue eyes, she then spoke:

"Thank you for rescuing me. I am the Sage of Ditz. You shall now recieve my power. But first, I must ask you one thing...what's your name, again?"

"...Link," he replied. How can a Sage not even know my name, being that I'm the Hero of Time?

"Thank you," she replied. "Now, hold up your arms."

As he did, a Medallion, like the other four he had so far, had floated into his hands. The Sage smiled, but then looked confused, and spoke again. "Um...what was your name again?"

The last thing heard in the temple were Link's screams of frustration.